How to Write Comedy Like a Pro (Without Crying in Your Car)

Writing comedy is like assembling IKEA furniture�confusing, frustrating, and if you do it wrong, someone�s gonna get hurt. Here are 15 tips to keep your set sharp and your audience laughing (instead of throwing meatballs at you): 1. **Steal from Life**: The best material is stolen�from your life. Did your cat judge you for eating cereal at 3 AM? Gold. 2. **Punch Up**: Mock power, not pain. Unless the pain is your dating life�then go nuts. 3. **Rule of Three**: Two normal things, one weird one. �I like cats, yoga, and pretending to understand wine.� 4. **Bait & Switch**: Set expectations, then crush them. �I�m great with kids� because I am one.� 5. **Commit to the Bit**: If you panic mid-joke, double down. �Yes, I *do* think llamas should run the postal service.� 6. **Silence is Deadly**: Pauses make punchlines hit harder. Also great for pretending you�re profound. 7. **Read the Room**: If they�re all 80, maybe skip the TikTok jokes. 8. **Callbacks**: Recycling jokes is eco-friendly! �Remember when I said I�m bad at dating? Surprise: still true.� 9. **Self-Deprecate Wisely**: Roast yourself, but leave the audience thinking, �Aw, relatable,� not, �Yikes, therapy.� 10. **Physical Comedy**: Falling works. Just say it�s a metaphor for capitalism. 11. **Tag Your Jokes**: Add extra laughs after the punchline. �My ex ghosted me. Turns out he was just *really* into Halloween.� 12. **Avoid Explaining**: If it bombs, move on. Don�t yell, �YOU HAD TO BE THERE!� 13. **Steal from Kids**: Their nonsense is genius. �Why *can�t* we eat clouds?� 14. **End Strong**: Close with your best joke. Or a mic drop. Or both. 15. **Bomb Gracefully**: Even legends tank. Just whisper, �This kills in Canada,� and exit. Remember: Comedy is 90% confidence, 10% caffeine, and 100% lying about how well your last set went.