How to Turn Your Day Job Into Comedy Gold

They say "don't quit your day job" - good advice since it's giving you all your material: 1. **The Meeting Bit** - "Our 'brainstorming sessions' are mostly just documenting who can stay awake longest." 2. **Boss Material** - "My manager keeps saying 'think outside the box'... while micromanaging everything inside my box." 3. **Email Comedy** - "'Per my last email' is corporate for 'bitch, can you read?'" 4. **HR Goldmine** - "Our harassment training taught me all the words I can't say at work... but can definitely say on stage." 5. **The Coffee Run** - "I'm not an intern, I just have the self-respect of one." 6. **Performance Reviews** - "Turns out 'areas for improvement' is code for 'everything about you.'" 7. **Team Building** - "Trust falls are just HR-approved ways to drop your coworkers." 8. **Corporate Lingo** - "We're not 'understaffed,' we're 'lean' - like how I'm not 'poor,' I'm 'fiscally minimalist.'" 9. **The Commute** - "My train ride is just a daily audition for the zombie apocalypse." 10. **Work-Life Balance** - "I'm great at setting boundaries - unfortunately they're all in my therapist's office." 11. **Office Romance** - "We kept it professional - which is why we broke up over a spreadsheet." 12. **Quiet Quitting** - "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for my comedy career." 13. **The Promotion** - "More responsibility, same pay - it's like getting a participation trophy for adulthood." 14. **Resignation Fantasy** - "One day I'll storm out dramatically... right after my next paycheck clears." 15. **The Punchline** - "They say money can't buy happiness - but neither can exposure bucks from comedy clubs."