How to Survive as the Only Sober Comic at the Club

They're all wasted and you're sober - here's how to turn that disadvantage into material: 1. **The Designated Driver Bit** - "I'm the only one here who'll remember this tomorrow... unfortunately." 2. **Drunk Translator** - "What our slurring friend means is 'your mother was a hamster'." 3. **Sober Superpowers** - "I can actually see you heckling - it's not just the alcohol talking." 4. **Bar Observation** - "Nothing brings people together like collectively ignoring the 'no smoking' sign." 5. **Last Call Comedy** - "I know it's late when my jokes start making sense to drunk people." 6. **The Drunk-o-Meter** - "You can gauge intoxication by how many 'your mom' jokes land." 7. **Sober Perspective** - "Watching you all dance is like seeing giraffes on roller skates." 8. **The Hangover Prophecy** - "Tomorrow you'll wake up wondering 'why did I laugh at that?'" 9. **Designated Heckler** - "Sir, your insults would hurt more if you could pronounce them." 10. **The Morning After** - "While you're vomiting, I'll be writing jokes about you vomiting." 11. **Liquid Courage** - "They say alcohol makes you funnier - yet here I am, sober and hilarious." 12. **The Sober Advantage** - "I remember all my material - and all your bad decisions." 13. **Closing Time** - "Nothing kills a buzz like my Uber driver asking about my career." 14. **The Walk of Shame** - "You're doing it tomorrow, I'm doing it right now on stage." 15. **Final Call** - "If you remember this set tomorrow, you didn't drink enough."