How to Red Flag-Proof Your Love Life

Dating coaches have released extreme new guidelines for avoiding toxic relationships, recommending FBI-style background checks, forensic analysis of exes' social media, and hiring private investigators to verify "dog dad" claims. "Modern love requires NSA-level surveillance," argues relationship guru Chad Decker, whose 47-point vetting system includes secretly recording reactions to minor inconveniences. The most controversial tip? Creating a fake second identity to test a partner's loyalty - which backfires spectacularly when people catfish themselves. Background check companies report a 300% increase in "pre-first date" packages, with popular add-ons like "extended family criminal history" and "verified height." The only flaw in the system? As one user discovered: "Turns out I'm the red flag." Meanwhile, therapists warn this paranoid approach may be why 78% of millennials prefer dating apps to real human connection.