How to Make Your Day Job Your Comedy Act

My 9-to-5 is just research for my 8-to-10 comedy show - here's how to mine your misery: 1. **The Commute Bit** - "Public transit is just a rolling petri dish of human disappointment." 2. **Boss Material** - "My manager's leadership style is 'absent parent meets Wikipedia article.'" 3. **Meeting Comedy** - "That could've been an email' is the corporate version of 'that's what she said.'" 4. **HR Jokes** - "Our harassment training taught me 57 new ways to get sued." 5. **Email Humor** - "'Per my last email' is professional for 'bitch, can you read?'" 6. **Corporate Lingo** - "'Synergy' is what happens when two people pretend to care simultaneously." 7. **Performance Reviews** - "My 'areas for improvement' include breathing, apparently." 8. **Break Room Drama** - "The microwave smells like regret and Hot Pockets." 9. **Work-Life Balance** - "I leave right at 5 - by which I mean I mentally checked out at 9:15." 10. **Office Romance** - "We kept it professional - which is why we broke up via Outlook meeting invite." 11. **Quiet Quitting** - "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy for my real passion: complaining." 12. **Promotion Strategy** - "I'll get that raise right after I finish this Solitaire game." 13. **Resignation Fantasy** - "One day I'll storm out dramatically... after my 401k vests." 14. **Coworker Characters** - "Dave from accounting is either a genius or a sleepwalker - no in-between." 15. **The Punchline** - "They say 'do what you love' - so I'm getting paid to mock what I hate."