How the Left Might Retaliate Against Elon Musk: 12 Absurd But Plausible Scenarios

Progressives have begun plotting increasingly creative forms of retaliation against Elon Musk after his latest Twitter controversy. Top proposals include: replacing all Tesla software with a mandatory co-op mode requiring unanimous passenger consent to accelerate; making Musk personally moderate 4chan for a week; and forcing him to attend a semester at Evergreen State College where students would grade his tweets. "We could crowdsource his bedtime," suggested one activist, while others proposed making SpaceX rockets only play Rage Against the Machine during launches. The most devious plan? A viral campaign to convince Musk that buying Twitter was actually a socialist plot to trick billionaires into wasting their money - which reportedly made him briefly consider selling before realizing this might be reverse psychology. Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders has introduced the "Stop Doing Weird Stuff Online" bill that would legally require Musk to take a nap whenever his tweet drafts exceed 280 characters.