How To Use Sex Toys Video

How To Use Sex Toys Video
9 Reasons Your Poop Smells Next-Level Bad
How to Actually Meet Someone Without Dating Apps
BA.5 Means Now Is Not the Time to Relax About COVID
9 Reasons Your Poop Smells Next-Level Bad
How to Actually Meet Someone Without Dating Apps
BA.5 Means Now Is Not the Time to Relax About COVID
Anna Borges is a writer and a former senior health editor at SELF. She's the author of the book The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care and can be found writing around the internet about mental, emotional, and sexual health. (Most importantly, she's also a Virgo sun, Aquarius moon,... Read more
The Best Prime Day Wellness Deals You Can Shop Early
The Best Furniture Deals You Can Shop Before Amazon Prime Day
Amazon Prime Day Clothing Deals Are Here and Ready for the Taking
The Best Amazon Prime Day Skin-Care Deals You Can Score Already
The Best Outdoor Deals to Shop Ahead of Amazon Prime Day
Amazon Prime Day Tech Deals 2022—What to Expect and Early Deals
How to Shop The Best Vacuum Deals for Amazon Prime Day
We Know When Amazon Prime Day Is Happening This Year
Discover new workout ideas, healthy-eating recipes, makeup looks, skin-care advice, the best beauty products and tips, trends, and more from SELF.
Even if you’re super familiar with how to use sex toys while masturbating , whipping toys out with partners can feel like a whole other story. And while it’s not an exact science, you might have some questions about how to get started. Luckily for you, in a lot of ways, there’s not a huge difference between using a toy with a partner and using one on yourself. In fact, you can probably use most of the toys you masturbate with during partnered play, too.
That said, having a partner there opens up a lot of new possibilities, too—both in terms of partner-specific toys and techniques that require an extra pair of hands. Either way, sex toys can be a strong addition to any sex life if all parties are curious. Below, find everything you need to know about how to use sex toys with a partner, from choosing the right equipment to getting creative.
Okay, maybe you’re not convinced—and that’s okay. Sex toys definitely aren’t for everyone or every couple. But in case you’re on the fence, there are a few solid benefits to using sex toys worth mentioning. Firstly and most obviously...they’re fun. “Sex is the adult version of the playground,” sex therapist Rosara Torrisi , L.C.S.W., Ph.D., tells SELF. “It’s where we’re allowed to let go and be playful. And with that in mind, you can use anything you want on the playground, including toys.”
Beyond that, though, plenty of people—especially people with vaginas—require certain types of stimulation in order to have an orgasm . Specifically, most people with vaginas require at least some clitoral stimulation to get off, according to the Mayo Clinic . And while you certainly don’t need a vibrator to play with your clitoris, it can help, especially if you need more powerful stimulation than you or your partner can administer on your own. Plenty of people can only get off with the help of a vibrator, and that’s nothing to be ashamed about.
Even taking orgasms off the table (which is a very legit approach to sex), toys offer sensations that you simply can’t experience without them. So the question is, why not use toys?
Any sex toy you want! But just to make sure we’re on the same page, let’s talk about some of the most common toys and accessories available that you might want to use as a couple.
Couple-specific toys: While any toy can be a couple’s toy when you put your mind to it, there are some toys on the market specifically for partnered play, certified sex therapist Courtney Geter , L.M.F.T., tells SELF. A lot of them are designed with P-in-V sex in mind, such as the Paloqueth Couples Vibrator ($27, Amazon ), which can be inserted into the vagina during penetration to provide sensation for the clitoris, G-spot, and partner’s penis all at once.
Vibrators: As you probably know, there are a ton of different types of vibrators available, from external wands and bullets to insertable vibrators and rabbits. Which is right for you depends on how you want to use it, but for partnered sex, there are a few things to consider. For example, the size and shape of an external vibe can be important if you want to use it during penetration or if you want your partner to be able to hold it comfortably from certain angles.
Dildos, plugs, and strap-ons: Basically, anything you can use to penetrate one another, either vaginally or anally. This category can overlap with the vibrator category, btw. Plenty of vibrators are dildos or plugs and vice versa.
BDSM and other sensation play toys: Some BDSM enthusiasts would prefer to call these accessories instead of toys, but whatever you want to call them, they should certainly be on your radar. Think of these as anything that helps you play with the five senses, from bondage tape to blindfolds. And for more information on sensation play products, check out this roundup .
The first step to using toys is to make sure everyone involved wants to use toys. It might involve a conversation. But don’t worry if you or your partner have some initial hesitations. There’s still a lot of societal weirdness about using sex toys as a couple. You might have internalized the narrative that a good partner is supposed to be “enough” for you and your needs, no toys required. Meanwhile, it’s not like sex toys make an appearance in traditional sex scenes we see in movies and television (or even a lot of mainstream porn). With all this messaging, it’s no wonder some people feel uncertain about introducing toys to a partnership.
Even if you're both pro-toy, it's also smart to make sure you're both on board with the safe sex practices you'll use if necessary when sharing toys, like putting a new condom on a dildo after you've used it but before using it on your partner. If you need some extra guidance in talking to your partner about all of the above, check out this article on the subject. It will walk you through the whole awkward conversation.
If you’re truly a beginner to using sex toys together, it can be a really good idea to follow your curiosities and familiarize yourself with what options are out there. More than that, it’s an incredible opportunity to talk with your partner about your interests and can double as foreplay.
“There can be a complete lack of communication between partners about what they like,” says Torrisi. “To be able to say, ‘Hey, let’s use this toy,’ means ‘Hey, I like this sort of thing’ or ‘Hey, I’m curious about this.’”
You can do this online or in person (when it’s safe to do so in your area, COVID-19 allowing). When you shop in a boutique, you have the advantage of seeing and feeling toys IRL, which might give you a better idea of what you like. Plus, there are salespeople there who can answer your questions for you, and if you find something you like, you get to take it home and use it right away. (Just be mindful of other people—the excitement of browsing sex toys with a partner in public is great, but you don’t want to be so explicit that you involve other people without their consent.)
Meanwhile, shopping online is private, which might give you more space to talk comfortably about what draws you to certain toys and how you’d use them—and you can go into a lot more detail than you would in public. Sure, you have to wait for it to arrive once you order it, but hey, there’s something to be said for anticipation.
When it comes to sex toys that are typically used on your genitals, like a vibrator or a dildo, people don’t tend to think outside the box. But Torrisi encourages people to explore their entire body with a toy, whether that means experimenting with how vibration feels on your nipples or how the smooth silicone of a dildo feels running down your back.
“Don’t use a new toy on your genitals the first time,” she advises. “Play with it on your skin along the whole rest of your body and just see what that feels like.”
There are exceptions to this tip, of course. When using something outside its intended purpose, make sure it’s safe. This applies primarily to anal play ; anything you put up your butt should have a flared base, so it doesn’t get stuck up there. Because yes, that happens. Beyond that, common sense goes a long way.
Like I mentioned above, a big reason people with vaginas may have trouble orgasming during penetration is the lack of clitoral stimulation. There’s nothing wrong with taking the reins there while your partner penetrates you. Get your hands on an unobtrusive clit vibrator like the We-Vibe Touch ($52, Amazon ) or the Fin Finger Vibrator ($85, Dame ) so you can figure out what feels good for you. Switching up positions helps too; you’ll probably find it’s easier to hold a vibrator justright , say, while riding on top of your partner than on your hands and knees.
Toys are especially handy when it comes to edging, the act of getting yourself or a partner close to orgasm but stopping before it actually happens. You know, pushing each other to the edge of orgasm and backing off. Not only is it equal parts teasing and sexy, but it also helps you and your partner tune into exactly what needs to happen to make each other orgasm.
Because so many people with vaginas use toys to achieve orgasm—like the MVP of many sex toy drawers , the Magic Wand ($60, Amazon )—they can be perfect tools for edging.
Some toys–specifically vibrators and vibrating plugs—come with a remote, which can come in handy in a variety of ways. For one, it can save you and your partner the hassle of fiddling with awkwardly placed buttons in the middle of sex. It can also give you or your partner even more control over the other’s pleasure, allowing you to choose the intensity and pattern of the vibrations. Which, hot.
Even better: Some remote-controlled toys even work long-distance with the help of apps, whether you want to tease your partner from a separate room or from entirely different homes. Popular couple toy brand We-Vibe has a lot of options in this category, including their wearable clit panty vibe ($130, Amazon ) and a prostate massager ($142, Amazon ).
We mentioned sensation play above, but it’s worth expanding on. According to Torrisi, there are many ways to get creative with your senses during sex with the help of toys—and some don’t even require specialty toys. For example, you can experiment with temperature. Metal toys, like the cult-favorite Pure Wand ($150, Lovehoney ), retain temperature when you run them under hot or cold water. There are also warming toys like the Doc Johnson iWand ($64, Amazon ) that you might find feel great on all your erogenous zones.
Don’t forget sensory deprivation, either. The touch of a toy can feel so much more intense without your sense of sight, for instance. If you’re intrigued, try this set of simple satin blindfolds ($7, Amazon ).
Toys provide a ton of opportunities to play in ways you wouldn’t normally be able to. On that note, toys can aid sexy role reversals between you and your partner. This can be based on stereotypical gender roles (or just, you know, your genitals), like using a strap-on to penetrate a partner who normally penetrates you, asking them to perform oral sex on a strap-on when you usually blow them, or playing with traditionally gendered clothes and accessories.
But a role reversal can mean anything you want it to. Maybe that’s using restraints on a partner who is normally more dominant or using gentle and soft toys on someone who typically loves it rough. Like Torrisi mentioned above, it’s your playground. You and your partners get to decide together what roles you’re playing every time you show up.
Using toys together doesn’t have to mean using toys on each other. Mutual masturbation is an equally valid way to explore your bodies, show each other what you’re into, and get off together. Also, if your partner has a penis and isn’t used to masturbating with toys, now is a great time to introduce them to some options like the Fleshlight Flight Pilot Male Masturbator ($50, Amazon ) or the Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Essential ($100, Lovehoney ).
SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
© 2022 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. SELF may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. Ad Choices

optional screen reader

Parenting

Entertainment

Food & Recipes

Health

Living

Shopping

Plus Icon

Click to expand the Mega Menu

Menu

optional screen reader

Parenting

Entertainment

Food & Recipes

Health

Living

Shopping

optional screen reader

Health & Wellness

Love & Sex

b-Vibe Trio Plug

$140

Buy now

Sign Up

Jimmyjane Form 3

$76.50

on Amazon.com

Buy now

Sign Up

Beginner Bondage Kit

$44.99

Buy now

Sign Up

Basic Strap-On Harness

$44.99

Buy now

Sign Up

We-Vibe Unite

$124

Buy now

Sign Up

optional screen reader

Tags

couples sex toys

sex toys

tricky

More Stories from Health & Wellness

optional screen reader

Legal

Privacy Policy

Terms of Use

AdChoices

Privacy Preferences

optional screen reader

SheKnows Family:

She Media

StyleCaster

Soaps

BlogHer

optional screen reader

Our Sites

Artnews

BGR

Billboard

Deadline

Fairchild Media

Footwear News

Gold Derby

IndieWire

Robb Report

Rolling Stone

SheKnows

She Media

Soaps

Sourcing Journal

Sportico

Spy

StyleCaster

The Hollywood Reporter

TVLine

Variety

Vibe

WWD

Food & Recipes

Expand the sub menu

Special Series

Expand the sub menu

optional screen reader

Contact Us

Advertise

AdChoices

Accessibility

Careers

Privacy Policy

EU Privacy Preferences

Terms of Use

Icon Link

Plus Icon

SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Ah, sex toys. As a grown adult, hopefully, you’ve found a few favorite standbys for your personal pleasure chest. But if you typically only use them to go alone, it’s time to consider new possibilities. Sex toys aren’t just for solo play — they can also make partnered adventures even more enthralling. And we’re not just talking about using what you have. Yes, you can grab your fave vibe and bring it to the coupled mix, but there’s a whole market full of toys designed to give both you and your boo pleasure, no jealousy required.
Like most things, the enjoyment of toys is better shared. We focused here on toys that are meant to be used with a partner. From hands-free vibrators to clenched-Kegel dildos, we think these are the best toys to explore with your best bed friend.
So go on. Add a little buzz to your breakfast sex, some daring to your dinnertime denouement. These toys can help.
Our mission at SheKnows is to empower and inspire women, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.
A version of this story was published October 2017.
Since everyone has a butt, this plug can be used on either partner. If vagina owners are partnered with penis owners, this vibrating plug can increase sensation for both partners during penetrative sex.
This toy is designed to stimulate the clitoris, but takes a little explaining — this video helps. Essentially, it’s a vibrator with a thin, flat silicon surface so that your partner can touch, lick or press your clitoris through the thin silicon. You get the benefits of a vibrator and also your partner’s organic touch.
Partners get everything they need to bind, tie, flog, gag and blindfold each other in this beginner’s kit. Just don’t forget your safe word.
Perfect for strap-on sex or pegging, this kit comes with two dildos and a comfortable, adjustable harness. It’s a great way to change up dominance dynamics in the bedroom.
This toy is designed to tuck underneath the labia and vibrate against the clitoris for hands-free playtime. The brand recommends it for girl-on-top positions and even under harnesses.
This toy works best for couples in which at least one partner has a vagina. The vibrator can be worn during penetrative vaginal sex to stimulate both the G-spot and the clitoris while increasing tightness for the penetrating partner.
It’s also great if you and your partner have to be away from each other — a partner can control the toy via the We-Vibe app.
The crème de la crème of cock rings, this rechargeable toy has five speeds and fits well around most penises or dildos. Penis owners will love the vibration and restriction, and clitoris owners will love the added stimulation during thrusting.
This toy works best for couples in which at least one person has a vagina and both are into penetration. One end of the vibrator is shaped to stimulate the G-spot and clitoris, while the other end can be used to penetrate a partner. It can be paired with a harness if you want, or it can be an intense Kegel exercise.
Sure, you’ll look a little like a cyborg, but this simple, genius device turns your fingers into vibrating delights. Either partner can use it for all-over teasing or targeted direct pl
Sissy Boi Bondage
Trans Homemade
Post Op Shemale Forum

How To Use Sex Toys Video

Report Page