How To Use A Butt Plug For The First Time
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Butt plugs are easily one of my favourite types of toy and my most reviewed, so they are, of course, what I get asked about most often. As such, I thought it was about time I finally wrote a beginner’s guide to butt plugs. This’ll have some relevant information regarding anal sex and using anal dildos, but is primarily a guide on plug type toys, so please only use it in that regard.
For those unaware, a butt plug is a special type of sex toy that can be placed inside the anus for sexual pleasure. They are primarily used in three ways:
Butt plugs generally have a tapered tip for easy insertion, narrow neck for the body to grip, and a wide base to ensure it doesn’t move further into the anus than wanted. They can be enjoyed by any gender, and although those with prostates may find greater stimulation, those with vaginas can still achieve some G-spot stimulation with plugs (the vagina and rectum wall is very thin). Furthermore, on the point of orgasm the body with naturally tense and release around the plug, which will enhance climax greatly.
For those considering starting anal sex, it can often be very intimidating and scary. Using a butt plug, however, can provide a more relaxed first time experience, which you can do alone without any added pressures, to figure out if it is really right for you. Aside from this, butt plugs are also just another great way to sexually express yourself, and fulfil any kinky desires you may have.
Butt plugs come in many different shapes and sizes, and it can often be tempting to buy that really cute or cool looking one you saw online sometime. One of the biggest mistakes people make however, is buying too large of a plug for their first time. Don’t overestimate your butt! You may think you can handle something larger straight off, but you should always start with a smaller plug. Even experienced users will need to start by using a smaller plug in a play session before transferring to a larger one. If you use too large a size without warming up first it could result in scratching, tearing or damage to the tissues of the anal canal, which may cause scaring and loss of enjoyment.
Make sure your plug is smooth and has a tapered tip to make insertion easier. It should have a large round flared base, or a T-bar base. This is what stops the plug from moving inside you (and unwanted hospital visits), so this is essential. I often see plugs with flimsy or too small bases, this is not ok!
Finally, make sure you get a safe material. A lot of plugs are made with slime or jelly type materials, but these are porous, meaning you cannot clean the bacteria off them completely, making them potentially harmful. The best materials for butt plugs are silicone, metal and glass. Silicone is my favourite as it is cheaper than metal and glass, and also the easiest to clean. However, metal and glass can offer weight (which can be an important factor for a butt plug) and temperature play (placing the plug in cold or warm water before use to change its temperature), which most silicone plugs cannot. Check out my Material Guide for more information on the different types of materials and what they offer.
Next, make sure to only buy from reputable retailers, meaning no eBay or Amazon. My Favourite Stores page features a bunch of good retailers that you can feel safe to buy butt plugs from. For cheaper options I would recommend a site like Lovehoney who have a huge range, although remember to follow my previous rules since they also stock some not-so-great ones. For pricier but higher quality types check out Tantus for silicone, Crystal Delights for glass, and Njoy for metal.
You’ll want to buy some lubricant too if you don’t already have some since the anus does not self-lubricate like the vagina does. Make sure you get a lubricant that works with whatever material your chosen butt plug is. For instance a silicone plug cannot be paired with silicone based lubricant. My favourite lubricant for anal is Sliquid Sassy, which is water based and can be used with any type of plug.
The main rule of inserting a butt plug is to go slow and use lubricant. The more relaxed and comfortable you are, the easier you will find it. It may also help to have an orgasm prior. Once ready, apply an adequate amount of lubricant. Too much lube is always better than not enough. If you have too much then it will just drip off (make sure to have plenty of tissues on hand!), but if you don’t have enough it can cause pain. Next, get yourself in a comfortable position. I personally get down on all fours (doggy style), but other good positions are on your back with your butt raised on a pillow, or squatting.
Once inside it may feel pretty weird, and you may feel a need to remove it. As long as there is no pain then it is just your body adjusting, and you should lay down for as long as you need to and try to relax. If there is any pain, remove the plug immediately. Once you feel okay, you are ready to do whatever it is you wish!
Removal is similar story. Stay relaxed, and take it out slowly. You can also push with your muscles, in a similar way to taking a poop. On that note, there may be poop on the plug when it is removed, so make sure to have tissues on hand when you take it out. If your partner is freaked out by this then maybe anal play isn’t right for them. Darker plugs are a good way to avoid this as it doesn’t show as much with brightly or lightly coloured ones.
If there is any pain, bleeding or discomfort that lasts longer than a few minutes upon removal, then seek medical help immediately.
You should never share plugs or any sex toys between persons, or between orifices (vagina, anus, mouth). If you plan on doing this, you must sterelize the toy first, such as by boiling it, and this can only be done on silicone, glass and metal toys.
While it may sound strange, a lot of people enjoy anal plugs for their extended wear. This is because without stimulation smaller plugs can become quite comfortable and almost unnoticeable. The larger and / or heavier the plug (for instance a small metal plug may be more heavy than a large silicone plug) the more noticeable it will be and thus pleasurable during extended wear. You can essentially wear a plug where ever you want, around the house or even out in public if seeing friends or just doing the groceries. Even without any feelings of pleasure, it lets you feel kinky, similar to how you may not wear underwear under a skirt to let yourself feel naughty. You should avoid wearing plugs for more than 2-3 hours at a time, even when comfortable, and remove to reapply lube every hour or so.
For extended wear, flat or T-bar bases are best. Metal toys are great because of their weight, but if you plan to sit down a lot then the base can be uncomfortable. Furthermore, the larger the base (or plug) the more obtrusive it may feel.
Once you have gotten use to your small, starter plug, you are ready to move onto other types of anal play, or just bigger plugs! Even though you can now take a slightly larger toy though, still use your smaller toy to help yourself warm up, you should always work your way up with sizes in order to avoid injury.
Further questions? Email me using the contact form on this blog, or message me through my listed social media!
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Thanks for this guide, all the different materials, styles, widths, etc. can be very daunting. This definitely gives me some more ammunition as we go shopping for our first plug
Thanks this was a helpful post! I have always been a bit hesitant about anal, but I want to be more open minded and give it a try :)
Great post! You answered questions I didn’t know I even had!
Why not use anything textured for a first butt plug? Is it because texture is potentially overstimulating? What if it looks really enticing? The first twenty or so items I put in my butt had quite a lot of texture. That was one of the major things that made me realize I enjoy anal stimulation. I didn’t like to thrust early on, so just having something interesting to clench around was awesome. The other items on the list were spot-on.
Texture is a lot of fun and is fine to use as a first plug, but for beginners I just recommend potentially starting with something smooth as it is generally a lot easier to insert, which can be a worry for first timers! Of course if they have their heart set on a particular textured type, and it isn’t too crazy, then it should be fine! :)
The t-bar base on the purple plug you posted- I have that set.
The T top is tapered, so do you put the wider part going up your butt crack or the more tapered section going into your crack? Thanks in advance
It’s really up to your own preference, I’m not sure if there is a correct way for it to sit. Personally I put the larger end towards my vulva, so that the smaller end fits better between my cheeks. Hope that helps!
I figured but wanted to make sure! It didn’t feel much different either way so I thought I’d ask! Thanks so much!!!!!!!
Hi very interesting post I don’t know old this is but just want to know if you have tips for beginners that went too far and inserted the whole thing in.? I mean some get crazy and do stuff right? What can we do Alternatively of going to the ER? Thanks.
I don’t have any personal experience in having this happen, but the best thing you can do is stay calm and relax so that it doesn’t go further in. Then try and see if you can pull it out or push it out, using lots of lube. If you can’t then the best bet is probably going to the ER unfortunately, but as embarrassing as it is, it’s a pretty common thing to happen and the doctors have all seen it before.
This is a super comprehensive guide! Thank you! I definitely am drawn to the smoother materials since silicone can be so draggy.
I pleasure my partner by using my finger in his anus and moving it in and out while he masturbates, I have ordered a vibrating butt plug and my question is can I move this in and out like I did with my finger as I find this excites me too.
A plug will be harder to move in and out as it’s designed to ‘plug’ in and not be easily removed, however you certainly can move it in and out, just with a little more effort than a finger! I definitely think you’ll both enjoy a vibrating plug, but if you want to get this movement to it then perhaps consider a thin anal-safe dildo or vibrator next time ;)
Hi there Grace, I was wondering if the princess plugs with the diamond on the end is good for beginners?? I was wondering also if the base is big enough that it wont go all the way in past the base. Just didnt know if people have had any issue with this? I order some and I Want to make sure its all okay. Thank you in advance.
P.S. Has anyone has any issue with the princess plugs going past the base?
Since ‘Princess Plug’ is just a general term for a type of product, all of this purely depends upon the actual brand and product that you have. Some princess plugs, such as large types, would not be suitable for beginners, while small versions would be. Any plug made by a reputable seller would have a safe base that won’t go in all the way, but if you buy it from a dodgy manufacturer or on sites like eBay or Amazon where you can’t guarantee the authenticity of products then you may need to be concerned about the base.
Grace, thank you for responding back to me so quickly!! It’s nice to finally get an actually response. The one I was talking about is the jeweled plug, the metal ones. I’m so excited about it and wanting to try but I was just afraid the base with the jewel in it would not be big enough and just didn’t want it to go to far. I tried it for a min. and loved it but got a little scared. I’m sorry if this is a silly question or concern. I’m just new to it and I’m just so excited about this particular plug. I love the cute jewel in the end, and I want to use it with confidence. Just wanted to ask you if this has been a concern among other users, or issues with that. Thank you again Grace for the fast response your greatly appreciated.
This definitely isn’t a silly question! It’s very valid and something a lot of people experience with princess plugs, including me. This was my first princess plug which I bought from Amazon, and I experienced the same worry. While I loved that plug because it was adorable, I was always worried about using it for too long because the base was a little too small for my liking. As princess plugs are so popular they are often made by un-reputable manufacturers, who don’t put safety first. This is what makes up the majority of plugs sold on sites like Amazon and eBay, and is probably what you and I had. If you’re worried then I would recommend purchasing a plug from one of the recommended retailers and manufacturers I have listed in this guide, rather than risking a trip to the ER by continuing to use that one.
Hi there! I just have a question about hygiene when dealing with butt plugs/anal sex. What would be the safest method to make sure that I’m “clean” and not have any feces on my plugs, or on my partner’s member once he and I decide to have anal sex? Thank you
Hi Jacqueline! While I do use plugs a lot I don’t often engage in anal sex with my partner, so I don’t have any special tips on this matter. When using plugs I don’t do anything differently to usual, and it’s very rare that it’ll have faeces on it after. I know people use water enemas prior to anal sex, but I’d definitely recommend doing your own research on this matter.
So I ended buying one from amazon before doing research. They are silicone and have a jewel, but the jewel pops out and I’m not sure if it’s suppose to do that?
It seems quite unlikely that it’s intended to pop out, however as long as it doesn’t affect the plug’s shape in any way then it doesn’t really matter. In fact, it might even be good since you’ll be able to give the plug a deeper clean then you may otherwise.
What is considered a beginner?
I’ve done anal a few time and enjoyed it. There was a toy I saw on Spencer’s website I wanted to try but reviews said it shouldn’t be used by beginners.
As long as you are looking at a regular sized toy (as in something not intended to be extra large) then the ‘small’ option should be fine, but definitely check out the review comments and measurements as well. I would recommend a beginners butt plug to have a max diameter of .9″.
I have a new mini stainless steel butt plug from Tom of Finland, it is beautiful. Will most personal lubes work with this? You only mention one in your posting. I have many tubes of lube here I would like to make use of. Thanks for all the advice.
All lubricants will work with metal works, although I would recommend thicker lubricants due to how hard the material is and the fact it’s an anal toy.
I’m not so experienced in anal sex, but I did try it a couple of times and would definitely try to explore it some more.
And thank you for the list in the end.
For anal play I would recommend Sliquid Sassy.
This article is wonderful. I’m especially excited about the new rimming plug you reviewed. Thank you for the great info.
This is a wonderful article for beginners! Thank you so much for helping us as we explore the world of toys. :)
Hi, I loved your articles but I have a question for you.
Recently I bought my first butt plug and I try to use it a little while. However, whener I sit down, I realize that it goes more inside than I would like. I was able to take it off but I am scared someday I lose It inside me. So, can my butt plug be too small for me?
Any size plug is okay to be used by anyone, but it is the size of the base that matters. It needs to be as wide or more so than the width of the toy itself, and in comparison the neck that connects it to the toy should be quite thin. Feel free to get in touch directly with a picture of the plug and I can have a look for you if you are still unsure.
Well like I mention in that review, I felt the base on that plug was too small and unsafe, so I would definitely caution against its use. I no longer use it for that reason.
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