How To Tell Him You Want Sex
⚡ ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
How To Tell Him You Want Sex
We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy . Cookie Settings
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/48\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/48\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-1.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Talk about intimacy before you get to the bedroom, if possible. Bringing up sex ahead of time can help you and the person you're into become more comfortable with each other. If you're seeing someone, ask them about the right time to take things to the next level, how they feel about sex, and about their likes and dislikes. [1]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK
Go to source
If you're casually hooking up with someone, try asking:
"If you’re in the mood, would you want to head to the bedroom?"
"Hey, how would you feel about having sex right now?"
"You really turn me on. It’s totally fine if you say no, but would you be interested in sleeping with me?"
If you’re in a relationship, try asking for sex by saying:
"When do you think is the right time for couples to start having sex?"
"How do you feel about sex?"
"Do you feel ready to have sex with me?"
"Are you in the mood tonight?"
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b6\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b6\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-2.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Bring up sex in a comfortable, relaxed environment. Make sure you and your potential partner have privacy when you ask them if they're interested. Help them feel safe and comfortable, and try to read their body language to ensure they feel at ease. [2]
X
Research source
If you're not dating the person you're into, you might not have the opportunity to have a conversation in advance. Before going all the way, be sure to get clear consent and discuss safe sex options.
You don't necessarily have to talk about sex alone in a room with the door closed. You might be on a date at a restaurant or other public place when you bring up having sex.
Be mindful of those around you. Don't ask your partner about sex when lots of people are within earshot. You don't want to put them on the spot or embarrass them.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/51\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/51\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-3.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Be honest about how your potential partner makes you feel. Be straightforward, warm, and polite, and don't try to put on an act or drop cheesy pickup lines. Just be yourself and tell the person you're into how you feel. Let them know you find them attractive, but make sure any compliments you offer are sincere. [3]
X
Research source
Try saying, "I think you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met. I don't mean to put on any pressure or anything, but would you want to take things to the next level physically?"
Be courteous and respectful. Don't go into a vivid description of what you want to do with them. If they aren't ready for sex, this could put them off.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d5\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d5\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-4.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Try to keep the conversation light-hearted. Talking about sex doesn't have to be super serious. It's one thing if you're talking about a serious topic, like a negative sexual experience or an STI (sexually transmitted infection). However, if you're talking about what turns you on or telling someone you want to have sex, try to be playful or joke around to keep things relaxed. [4]
X
Research source
It's okay to be nervous, and having a sense of humor about your nerves can help put you at ease. If you get tongue-tied, try brushing it off with, "Geez, I sound like Google translate gone wrong," or just be honest and say, "Sorry I'm a little nervous. Let me start over." [5]
X
Research source
A little laughter can release nervous energy. However, self-deprecating humor can kill the mood, so go easy on making fun of yourself. [6]
X
Research source
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/8b\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/8b\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-5.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Check in with your partner when you're fooling around. If you're already fooling around, read the situation and make sure they're into it before trying to go further. If they don't seem enthusiastic about kissing and touching, back off and check in with them. [7]
X
Research source
In the heat of the moment, you could say, "You're such an amazing kisser, and you turn me on so much. Do you want to take this further?"
You could also try asking, "Should we head to the bedroom?" or "Can I touch you here?"
If you don't think they're into it, stop and ask, "Is everything alright? We can stop if this is going too fast."
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/54\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-6.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/54\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-6.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Joke around about pleasing them to break the ice. Let them know you want to make the experience as enjoyable as possible. You don't have to get awkward and directly ask, "What ways do you like having sex?" Instead, express that you care about their likes, dislikes, and boundaries in an appealing, relaxed way. [8]
X
Research source
While it's helpful to talk about likes and dislikes ahead of time, talking about turn-ons can also be really sexy in the moment. Say something like, "So where's your favorite spot to be kissed?" or "Tell me about something you've always wanted to try in bed." [9]
X
Research source
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/8e\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-7.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-7.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/8e\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-7.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-7.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Let them know you won't judge them. Asking someone what they enjoy sexually or what they fantasize about puts them in a vulnerable position. Let them know that they can trust you and that you won't laugh at them or judge them. [10]
X
Research source
Confiding something about yourself first can help them feel more at ease with you. Try telling them how you like to be touched or a position that you enjoy.
Talking about preferences in advance can make sex more enjoyable, but you don't need to go overboard and make each other uncomfortable. You and the person you're into don't have to share your deepest, darkest fantasies, especially if you don't know each other very well.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/60\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-8.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/60\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-8.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-8.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Mention what you like, but don't brag about your sexual exploits. It's one thing to say that you like having your ear nibbled on or neck kissed. However, don't go into too much detail about your experiences or talk about past lovers as if they were conquests. [11]
X
Research source
No one wants to hear all about the last person their date slept with, and bragging about sex is a major mood killer.
You can say "I like kisses on my neck," but don't say "Man, it really turned me on when my last girlfriend kissed my neck and gave me hickies."
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/52\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-9.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-9.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/52\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-9.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-9.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Ask about what they don't like. You don't want to make turn-offs the main topic of your conversation. However, the experience will be more fun and less awkward if you know that a spot is extra sensitive or a position is uncomfortable for your partner. [12]
X
Research source
While it's good to check in now and then, asking, "Are you alright?" every 30 seconds is a turn-off. Be attentive to their body language, and try to stay in the moment instead of overthinking things.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/5b\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-10.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-10.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/5b\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-10.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-10.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Make sure your partner gives their consent. Consent should be clear and enthusiastic. If they seem uncomfortable or aren't sure about having sex, don't try to pressure them. Respect their decision if the answer is no, and don't ask for an explanation. [13]
X
Research source
They might want to kiss or touch, but that doesn't mean they want to have sex.
They also have the right to change their mind and stop if they become uncomfortable at any point.
They have to understand what they're consenting to. If you they say "yes" to going to your bedroom, that doesn't mean they're consenting to sex itself.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d1\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-11.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-11.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d1\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-11.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-11.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Try to bring up sexual health before you get physical. Talking about STIs in the moment can ruin the mood, but it's a necessary conversation. Ask your partner if they've been tested within the last 6 months, and inform them about your sexual health in advance. [14]
X
Research source
It's best to talk about sexual health when you and your partner are thinking clearly. You're less likely to make informed decisions in the heat of the moment.
If you're already fooling around and haven't had the conversation, don't feel bad about looking out for your health. If they're sexually active and haven't been tested recently, your best bet is to cool things off until they've been screened.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1a\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-12.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-12.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1a\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-12.jpg\/aid8827924-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Want-to-Have-Sex-Step-12.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"
License: Creative Commons<\/a>\n<\/p>
\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Ask what kind of protection they prefer to use. Always practice safe sex, even if you and your partner have been screened and tested negative for STIs. If you don't have protection on hand, say, "This is really hot, and as much as I hate to stop, we should cool things off until we have a condom/dental dam." [15]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK
Go to source
Talking about safe sex doesn't have to be a turn-off. For example, try asking what kind of condom feels best or if they like flavored or textured varieties.
Try to be positive when you bring up safe sex. Mention that using protection benefits both of you instead of phrasing it like you need to protect yourself from them. [16]
X
Research source
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW . Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR). This article has been viewed 1,252,438 times.
"I was worried about having sex but this really helped me know that there's a way to have safe sex and for sure I now know that I am okay with having sex with somebody." ..." more
Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy .
% of people told us that this article helped them.
"I was worried about having sex but this really helped me know that there's a way to have safe sex and for sure I now know that I am okay with having sex with somebody." ..." more
"I told her that I like her she said she likes me and then she said that she wants to be my girlfriend and I said yes." ..." more
"This helped me know that theres i a safe sex, that way I am not worried about sex. Thank you for the help."
"This helped me. When my girlfriend asked me to take things to the next level, I knew how to react."
"This article is on point and the tips are so useful. Thanks for being so helpful."
Helpful how-tos delivered to your inbox every week!
By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy.
This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW . Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 1,252,438 times.
Whether you’re seeing someone casually or you’ve been dating for a while, you might be wondering how to ask them to have sex with you. Asking for sexual consent before making a move is super important, but it can feel awkward to bring it up. Fortunately, it doesn't have to be! We've gathered the best, most trustworthy advice from experts on how to ask for sex in a way that feels natural while still being clear. We’ll walk you through exactly what to say so both you and the person you're into feel comfortable and heard.
To ask someone if they want to have sex, tr
Ponygirl Tack
Why Is My Penis So Big
Inserting Butt Plugs