How To Talk To Anyone Book Summary

How To Talk to Anyone (1998) is an indispensable guide to improving your conversations and becoming more graceful and effective in your social interactions – no matter the situation. Leil Lowndes offers readers a treasure trove of techniques and tips that will help any socially awkward individual gain more confidence in workplace environments, meetings, their private lives and at parties.

About the Author

Leil Lowndes is an author and public speaker whose work is focused on helping people develop better tools for communicating with one another. With decades of experience, she has recognized many of the subtle and subconscious signals that can make or break relationships. Her other popular books include How to Instantly Connect with Anyone (2009) and How to Be a People Magnet (2002).

First impressions matter, so remember to smile and use welcoming body language.

Let’s not kid ourselves: first impressions are really important. When you meet someone for the first time, the way you look and act is seared into their brain, and it will undoubtedly influence any future dealings you have with that person.

The first thing someone sees is your face, so this is where a good first impression begins.

Did your mom ever tell you to always make sure you smile when you meet new people? You may have found it annoying at the time, but she was right. A smile can make a big difference in whether or not you win someone over.

People can spot a fake smile, however, so let the grin grow slowly, as this will make it appear more personal and genuine.

Studies show that a natural-looking smile is even more important among women. In corporate environments, women who are slower to smile are considered more credible.

Another tip is to avoid giving everyone in a group the same smile, as this can be off-putting. Try to vary your grin as you deal with different people.

Your eyes are also an important asset in winning people over – it has been proven that establishing steady eye contact will help you gain both respect and affection. If you want to improve a relationship, maintain eye contact with that person even if they’re not talking, and only break off that contact when you must.

Now, with your face sorted out, let’s move on to body language, which has a powerful influence on how you’re perceived by others.

For starters, it’s important to recognize that just because someone’s a stranger, it doesn’t mean you have to act like she’s one. Instead, when greeting someone for the first time, do so as if she were an old friend. Along with a warm smile, turn your body fully toward her so she can see you’re giving her your undivided attention.

You can also avoid falling out of her good graces by making sure not to fidget – which means keeping your hand gestures under control.

It may sound odd, but studies show that if you touch your face when you talk it makes you seem less credible – so keep calm, and keep your hands away from your face.

Lessons From The Book

1

First impressions matter, so remember to smile and use welcoming body language.

2

Smooth introductions and familiar gestures lead to good conversations.

3

Master the art of small talk by opening conversational doors and keeping people talking.

4

Build rapport through imitating, empathizing and acting like a close friend.

5

Be delicate, sparing and immediate with your praise.

6

Always be considerate in your relationships, especially when it comes to giving and receiving favors.

7

Sounding professional is crucial for career success.

8

Stay in charge by separating business and leisure, and by always being honest.

9

Preparing for meetings pays off.

10

Effective phone skills can make up for a lack of visual cues.

11

Get the most out of every party by making a strong entrance and taking the initiative.