How To Talk To A Guy Who Is Shy

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How To Talk To A Guy Who Is Shy

How to Talk to a Shy Guy with 9 Ways to Get Him Talking to You

Shy guys are not too apt on initiating conversations. But that does not necessarily mean they are invincible to your charm. Here we have a few ideas on how to converse with them. Charm on!
One of the most annoying and frustrating thing is to end up liking someone who hesitate to converse with you even when they know you like them. Effective communication is important so that you will be on your guard and be informed about how he also feels.
Many women will have objections to dating a shy guy; they simply cannot be bothered with having little or no responses to issues that they might want to bring up.
Here are a few ideas on how to start talking to a guy to ease the dating shy guys problems a bit.
If you are not used to initiating conversations, you will get more than enough practice while talking to a shy guy. They might want to engage in a conversation with you but sit quietly just waiting on you to make a move. You will need to find topics that will get him to say something to show that he at least has considered talking to you. You will need to know beforehand if he is interested in having conversations with you in the first place. Ask yourself why you think he likes you. Did he give a clear enough indication that he is interested? This means you will have to dig or ask his friends for information on how to make him want to talk with you
Even though you might be tempted to talk about all the things that you love, talking to shy guys will change this up a bit. It is not that you are making all your conversations all about him but rather, creating situations where an actual conversation can take place. This way you get the chance to learn bits and pieces of him. He might not like the regular things that men stereotypically like, for example cars, sports etc but finding out what really lights his fire will help you a lot.
The result you are trying to get here is (honest to goodness) a decent conversation not a hum drum interview. Avoid questions that will or can only stop, creating an awkward pause, at simple answers such as yes, no, maybe. Ask more direct questions that will make or encourage him to speak more and go into detail on issues or topics. For example asking “what was it like growing up in Canada?” is a better foundation to build a conversation on as opposed to “so you had a wonderful experience growing up in Canada?” Think about the question beforehand with a good idea of how he might answer and you will end up having better to go on.
Whether a guy is shy or not, he will be uncomfortable talking about topics that are seemingly uncomfortable. This is always an important thing to avoid when dating. This means those topics that he deliberately seems to avoid or those you yourself might not like should be avoided. Sometimes what we don’t realize is that being shy sometimes can be attributed to something other than just not wanting to interact; the topic could be the issue. Remember that just like you, he too will have his little discomforts. 
Not necessarily very crowded places but ensure others are around. Some people are afraid of having conversations in intimate environments, try going out in places where there are other people like a coffee shop or the mall perhaps. Having a double date is one of the best options as you would have familiar people in that circle. Having others around can be a well needed distraction for a shy guy to engage in a conversation with you.
When it comes to shy guys and dating sometimes all you need is to incorporate a little creativity. If he is not fully comfortable then he might be reluctant to speak with you freely; he won’t even say that he is uncomfortable. This means that the right environment that you choose to go on a date is important. You might have chosen a club when he is more of a concert type of guy. Knowing what he really likes will be of great help as you might end up thinking the date was terrible when all it needed was a different setting
Sometimes being shy is dependent on the mode of communication chosen. The same guy that seem unresponsive when having a face to face conversation might be the most talkative when you choose to text each other or to talk over the phone or the internet. If you really like him you won’t mind changing things up a bit, you might end up adding much needed excitement which might just be the key to spur things along.
This might seem bold and you might be reconsidering this thinking it might be a turn off moiré than anything else but, having him know how you feel will give him leverage. He might have been thinking how to talk to you but having drawback because he if fearing rejection from you. shy people problems does not begin and end with just not being able to converse but also protecting how they feel. Rejection is not something that they would want to deal with.
Not all the time being bold will work with a shy guy. Knowing how to talk to shy people can sometime means being quiet around them. This will give them a chance to be drawn out of their “shells” so to speak as they try to get you to talk. This is kind of a reverse psychology method. While you know full well that they are the shy one, letting them see your shy side might have them sympathizing with you and even see him employing some of the methods that we have discussed to get you to talk to him
Dating a shy guy is really not as frustrating as you think. In fact knowing how to talk to a shy guy relies on you not letting him know that you are frustrated. Once you get a hang of all the different ways to communicate with him effectively, it is usually smooth sailing from there. He might even end up out talking you.
Guys are somewhat different from women but not as much as you might think. When it comes to how to talk to a guy, there are some tips and tricks you could use to make sure you get it right. We come to your aid to ensure that you will know all the right things to say at the right time to simply swoop him off his feet.
Are not you tired of waiting for him to make the first move? Stop waiting and make your own destiny. Go on and start a conversation with your crush taking into consideration the tips we have prepared for you. One thing is certain: when you are through with him, he will have eyes only for you.
If you think it’s hard to find things to talk about with a guy you like then you are in the right place. No need to be nervous about finding conversation fillers or think to chat up a guy is hard. This is where you find the most useful advice to erase uncomfortable gaps and find interesting things to talk about with guys.
The dating scene is hard especially if those around you keep having bad experiences. Blind dating is challenging as you have no idea what to expect or what the other party might think of you. These dating tips won’t take away your fear of dating but it will help to ease tension while on a date.
There is a lot of stuff to talk about with your boyfriend, but when the time comes, you should make sure to tackle those subjects that are truly important for your relationship. In order to know what you should discuss, we have come up with a list for you to check out and to incorporate in your discussions.
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Most of this site has been about how shy, less-confident people can improve their social skills and ability to get along with others. But it cuts both ways. Some more-outgoing people could stand to brush up on the way they act around their shyer , quieter , or less-naturally-social peers. If you're more of a chatty, self-assured, social butterfly type, here are some ways to relate to people whose confidence or conversation skills aren't the same as yours:
Some shy people are a bit withdrawn at first, but open up before long. Others are at a point in their lives where they're too nervous and inhibited to have a flowing conversation with someone they just met, and no amount of consideration or social savvy on your part is going to change that. Someone else may be in a less-social mood, and not feel like talking no matter how much you try to meet them halfway. Remember you're never 100% responsibile for how an interaction goes. Everyone in it has to do their part. Try your best to make people comfortable or adjust to their style, but don't feel you did something wrong if it doesn't work out.
I think every shy or quiet person has had the experience of other people getting annoyed at them because they were reserved and untalkative. That's just what they do though, they hang back and don't speak as much. It's not because they're mad, or snobby, or that they're purposely trying to kill the fun vibes in the room. They're just a bit tongue-tied at first and need some time to warm up to the people they're with, or it's their natural style to sit back and observe.
Shy and quiet people hate this. Sometimes someone will call out their quietness in an accusatory, confrontational way. At other times they're more well-intentioned and matter of fact. Someone might make a comment to the group in front of them, like they're not there ("This is Craig. He's nice, but kind of quiet.")
Either way, it's kind of thoughtless and annoying. Don't say stuff like that out loud. Also, rather than shaking them out of their quietness, it often makes people feel more self-conscious and misunderstood. Oh, and never, ever comment on someone's shyness like they're an adorable, shivering little lamb. Like, "You're shy? Awwwww!"
Even if you mean no harm by it, don't casually mention that they're trembling or say, "She's turning red!" This obviously will just make them feel extra-nervous and focused on how they come across. If you notice they look anxious, keep it to yourself and help them save face.
If you think someone is being less-talkative because they're feeling shy and can't think of what to say, it can help to carry most of the weight in the conversation. Before long they may start to reciprocate more.
But all this applies only to a point. If someone doesn't seem like they want to talk to you after a few minutes, or they're not contributing at all to the discussion, then give them their space and back off. No point in pulling teeth, or bombarding them with verbiage, when the other person wishes you'd leave them alone. They may simply not feel like being chatty at the moment.
Another problem is that if you take the lead too much you the other person may technically have a conversation with you, but they're not enjoying or contributing to it. Instead they feel like they're being railroaded along by your questions, which they're answering out of politeness.
This is related to the point above. When a shyer person first has to talk to someone, they often feel anxious and put on the spot . They may also be a bit defensive and put up barriers. After a few minutes the anxiousness and cautiousness can fade and they'll start to open up. Sometimes all you have to do is wait a bit for their discomfort to dissipate. And again, don't take it personally if they don't seem warm and loving at first. Their nerves may just be making them tense.
If someone is really good at coming up with things to say a mistake they can make is they'll ask a question or make a statement, and when the other person doesn't respond instantly, they say something else to fill the air space. Their conversation partner could have responded if they were just given a few more moments to put their thoughts together, but now they feel dismissed and steamrolled.
This point is admittedly tricky to apply because it depends on who you're talking to. More thoughtful, slow-to-respond types will appreciate you giving them some breathing room. However, it may make more-shy individuals feel on the spot and worried about creating an awkward silence when they can't answer you right away. If you get the sense that's the case, it's okay to say something yourself and bail them out.
Not always, but sometimes shyness or a more-solitary nature can accompany things like being romantically inexperienced, or not having a ton of friends. Someone in that camp may wince when people ask them things like, "What are your buddies up to tonight?" or "How are the ladies treating you?" or "What did you do this weekend?" If you have a feeling someone might fit this description, then steer clear of talking about these things. The topics will come up eventually anyway if they're comfortable with them. If not, then you've helped them save face.
Shyness makes it harder to think of things to say, but most people have an easy time talking about topics they're interested in. Like if someone likes video games, all you have do is say Nintendo or roguelite and a dozen things will come to their mind. Try to land on one of those interests, and they should have a much easier time speaking with you.
Shy, quiet people say this all the time: It's not they hate the idea of conversation, but they prefer to discuss deeper, more-interesting topics, not yak about the weather or sports just for the sake of speaking. They don't have as much patience for that kind of thing. When you first start speaking to them a bit of small talk may be unavoidable as you cast around for a topic they want to speak about. Once you hit on one, it's okay to get more in-depth .
On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today.
It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation. Click here to go to the free training .
This article goes into more detail about how to handle awkward silences , but basically you can usually get through it if you don't make a big deal out of them, and just start a new conversation thread, or take a moment to think of the next thing you want to say. If the conversation was winding down anyway, or they really seem like they don't want to talk to you, you can also gracefully use a silent moment as a way to wrap things up.
It takes the pressure off to keep a conversation going the entire time. You don't have necessarily have to set up an elaborate board game night. Even something simple like watching TV or walking around while you hang out can make things easier for them.
Their insecurities, and possible history of being picked on, can lead them to take your joking remark the wrong way. If you want to poke fun at them don't say anything too cutting, and make it really clear through your body language that you're being friendly and affectionate. Be smiley and goofy, not dry and sarcastic.
Don't be fake and overdo it, but try to communicate that you're friendly, you like them, and enjoy talking to them. Send out warm, interested non-verbals. Sincerely compliment them when it's appropriate, like if they said something funny or insightful. Shyer people can be quick to believe they're coming across as unlikable and boring. They're sensitive to signs other people are mean and rejecting. Let them know you're not thinking of them that way.
Shyer people can tell themselves they have to be amazing conversationalists or they may as well not bother. Help them remove that self-imposed burden. If it's believable, make an offhand remark about how you sometimes feel nervous meeting new people, or mingling at parties, or whatnot. If you happen to stumble over your words or your mind goes blank while trying to answer a question, be comfortable with yourself and laugh it off. Maybe comment that you can appreciate it when two people can sit in silence, and don't feel the need to have an instant reply to everything.
Sometimes shyer people won't speak up when they want something from you. You can fall into the habit of asking them if they're okay every twenty minutes. "Are you hungry yet? You sure?", "What movie do you want to watch? You sure? Are you sure?" Even if someone knows better, they can still find themselves becoming too solicitous around their shyer friends. Don't do it. It gets old real quick. If they want something they'll ask for it. And if they don't, it's not your job to watch out for them.
Asking people for certain things carries a risk of rejection and can be anxiety-inducing. Like a shyer person may hesitate to invite someone to hang out with them. So if you want something from them, assume you're going to have to be the one who asks. Don't wait for them to take the initiative.
Less-naturally social people get more-easily drained by socializing and have to recharge their batteries by being alone. If someone's shy their nerves may have had all they can take after a few hours as well. Their friends may get confused or offending when they want to take off after "only" spending half the day with them. In the friends' minds it's only be natural to want to keep hanging out. It's nothing personal though. Some people are satisfied after a few hours of social time, and want to do something else after. It doesn't mean they hate you.
First, what you see as "seflish" may be an Apples and Oranges situation. Like if someone wants to spend some time alone, that's just their preference and not a slight against you. However, if someone is shy, less-socially experienced, or they spend a fair amount of time alone and are used to doing their own thing, they can sometimes accidentally do things that truly hurt people's feelings. Sometimes their simple lack of knowledge about social rules causes them to make a blunder. There's no ill will behind it, they just didn't know any better. A shy person may make a social mistake because their nervousness is causing them not to be able to think straight, or they know what they should do, but are too inhibited to do it.
Finally, if someone is used to their own space, they may unintentionally come off as self-focused or like they don't care about other people. Like at a barbeque they may go inside to grab a drink for themselves, and not do the polite thing and ask if anyone else wants one too. Again, it's not that they actively dislike people. They're just used to only having to worry about themselves most of the time, and they forget to think of other people.
Just because someone is outgoing doesn't mean they can't be off-putting in some ways. Sometimes they're cheesy and just a bit too much all around. At other times their chattiness is accompanied by interrupting, not giving other people a chance to speak, or only talking about what they want to discuss. But what happens when shy people seem annoyed at them? "Oh, well you're anti-social. It's no wonder you can't handle them." Yes, maybe some shy people do need a slightly thicker skin when it comes to tolerating outgoing types, but at the same time, don't write-off their legitimate opinions with, "Well you're quiet, so..." It's irritating and makes them feel misunderstood.
I'm Chris Macleod. I've been writing about social skills for fifteen years. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time.
I'm trained as a counselor. I have a Master of Social Work (MSW) degree, and a B.A. in Psychology.
There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. Though I'm also a
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