How To Take Anal

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How To Take Anal
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You’ve explored anal play for the first time , you’ve played with a few toys , and now you’re ready to put that P in the A. Here’s your guide to everything you need to know when trying anal for the first time.
Anal sex is pretty polarizing. A lot of people love it, and a lot of people don’t even understand the temptation to try it. No one is should be forcing you to try anal, but there are a few compelling reasons to give it a go:
If your interest isn’t slightly piqued by this point, I can’t help you. But if you’re intrigued, read on!
You’ve got a butt, but (heh) the odds are that you’re probably ignoring it. Your ass has the…
Just like with any other type of sex, you have to take precautions to keep yourself safe during anal. You can’t get pregnant, but you can transmit STIs through anal sex. In fact, transmission rates are higher for anal sex than for most other sexual activities, since anal tissues are sensitive and susceptible to microtears. Use a condom unless you’re already fluid-bonded with your partner.
The hygiene factor is one of the biggest reasons people tend to shy away from anal sex. A lot of guys are worried about poo-dick (yes, that’s the official term for it). We won’t lie to you; your penis is probably going to come into contact with traces of fecal matter. But the key word here is traces . Poop slides through the rectum and anus when you’re on the toilet, but it doesn’t hang out there the rest of the day. Here are some steps you can take to keep things as clean as possible:
In the end, you’re probably way more paranoid about the cleanliness factor than necessary. Anal sex is actually pretty clean, and it’s likely that you won’t notice anything when the deed is done and you’re pulling out of anal town.
If you’re the pitcher in this scenario, it’s usually best to let the catcher take the lead with hygiene. They’re likely just as concerned about cleanliness as you are, and you don’t want to shame them by dictating how they should take care of their body.
Most anal virgins are bound to be a little nervous at first, so give yourself plenty of time to get aroused. Do the usual things you do when you’re naked together. If you’re the receiving partner, an orgasm beforehand will help your muscles relax.
Lube is non-negotiable for anal sex. Your rectum is very tight and doesn’t create lubrication on it’s own, like a vagina does, so you need lube to help things slide in properly . Lube will also prevent painful tugging and tearing of the skin. Try a silicone lube like Pjur Original Bodyglide or a water based lube like Wicked Jelle . Put lube directly on the asshole itself, and onto the penis, strap-on, or condom. Use a lot. Even if it seems like a laughable amount, it’s necessary. Trust us.
I firmly believe that lube can be a wonderful addition to any person’s sex life. But picking a lube
When it comes to penetration itself, it’s usually best to let the receiving partner be in control, at least initially. They’re the ones at risk of experiencing pain. Dictating the pace and depth of penetration will minimize pain and ease any lingering nerves. One of the best positions for first-time anal is doggystyle. It allows the receiv er to be in control of the movement, and go as slowly as possible. Plus, doggystyle helps open up that whole area back there. Side-by-side spooning (where you’re facing the same direction) is also a good beginner position, though the pitcher will have slightly more control than the catcher.
When you’re getting started, go as slow as possible. Pretend you’re actually in slow motion, and try moving at half-speed. The receiver should focus on keeping their muscles relaxed. You may feel yourself instinctively tensing up, so keep taking deep breaths and trying to release that tension. You’re putting a big thing into a small hole, so expect that there will be some discomfort (the amount will vary from person to person). Some people will experience a “hurts-so-good” type of sensation, but others might feel “bad pain” that feels sharp or stinging. If you’re unsure what kind of pain it is, err on the side of caution and ask your partner to stop and give you a moment to relax. , Don’t ever push yourself to keep going if it doesn’t feel right. Keep working your way down the shaft of the penis slowly. Don’t start thrusting in and out until you’ve achieved complete penetration, and the receiver is comfortable with moving forward.
Once you’re both feeling at ease, you can pick up the pace and start thrusting more. You want to avoid pulling all the way out and pushing back in (this can lead to pain), so try to limit thrusts to a small range of motion. Make sure to keep communicating about what feels good and what doesn’t.
Now’s also the opportunity to add more stimulation to other areas of your body. If you’re a lady catcher, get some extra clitoral stimulation going at the same time with a vibrator, your hand, or your partner’s hand. Doggystyle and side-by-side are easy positions to do this. If you’re a dude catcher, you can jack yourself off or have your partner jack you off.
Before I tell you how to find the best strap-on harness for you, let’s get one thing straight: In…
When you’re both done with your anal fun, make sure that the giver pulls out as slowly as possible. Having something that girthy exiting your anus can feel a little strange, but slowing it down will make it feel much better. Don’t be concerned if the anus doesn’t immediately return to it’s usual balloon-knot state. It’s just taken a bit of a beating, and needs some time to close back up.
Wipe yourself off with tissues, then take a trip to the bathroom to clean up more thoroughly. Even if the pitcher used a condom, it’s still a good idea to wash off with soap and water. Soap will also help take care of the lube around the catcher’s anus. Make sure not to have any other sexual contact before cleaning up. In particular, putting a penis that has just been in an anus into a vagina is a one-way ticket to a vaginal infection.
Anal sex leaves one lingering present for the receiver: lube poops. Your next bowel movement is probably going to feel like it’s sliding right out of your butt. If your partner ejaculated into your anus, it will feel even slipperier (and may look a little strange too). Farts can also feel different traveling down your lubed-up butthole. Don’t fret if you find a tiny bit of blood in your stool; anal tissues are susceptible to small tears. But if you have a lot of blood, or ongoing pain, give your doctor a call.
Anal sex is unfortunately still saddled with a bad rap, but it can be immensely pleasurable for giver and receiver alike, and can be a fun new journey to embark on together. Give butt love a chance!
This article was originally published in January 2016 and updated Nov. 13, 2020 to replace outdated links and align the content with current Lifehacker style.


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Back in the day, “butt stuff” may have been something only ever seen in porn or talked about by fraternity brothers. But now that anal sex has lost some of the stigma, the butt is finally getting the attention it deserves.
And while you might think anal play simply means sticking things up your butt (which, yes, is part of it), anal foreplay is just as important for ensuring a safe and pleasurable experience for all parties.
For starters, anal foreplay can happen by rimming your partner or giving/receiving an anal massage with a toy , finger, dildo , or penis. But keep in mind anal foreplay can absolutely be the main event—meaning nothing (not even penetration) has to come after it.
“Anal sex [of any kind] isn’t just for people interested in kink , but it’s great for all genders who want to ‘explore their sexual interest and desires,’” says erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven Taylor Sparks .
But just like you’ve gotta walk before you can run, it’s a good idea to do a lil research and prep work before diving into anal play. Not only will this help keep you safe, but it’ll ensure you have the best possible booty sexperience.
So, whether you’re just looking to change things up or just want to take your time with backdoor foreplay before you do dive into penetrative anal sex, here are 39 expert-recommended anal sex and foreplay tips for both first-timers and experienced butt explorers.
First and foremost, anal sex shouldn’t hurt. If it does, stop. Please. Sure, the sensation might feel a bit foreign, and you might be a little sore after, but pain isn’t supposed to be part of it. It should basically just feel like you might need to poop during the action. Lawrence Johnson, CEO and cofounder of the leading gay men’s lifestyle brand Pure for Men , says preparation and communication are essential to making it pleasurable and enjoyable. Above all, you need to “relax your muscles and breathe,” advises sexologist Emily Morse .
Anal sex isn’t inherently dirtier than other types of sex. In fact, Johnson says with a little preparation, you can expect “the most pleasurable, clean, and worry-free experience ever.” This is because, as clinical sexologist Kat Van Kirk explains, the anus and the lower part of the rectum actually have very little fecal material in them, which means it tends to not be nearly as dirty as you think. More details on how to ”prep” below.
The reason: “You can absolutely transmit STDs and STIs during anal sex,” Johnson explains. This is because not only is there skin-to-skin contact and exchange of fluids, but the lining of the anus can be damaged due to friction, making it susceptible to infection. That’s why you should always use condoms—not only with anal sex but with any type of intimacy where genital fluids are exchanged.
Another good reason to wear a condom? You actually can get pregnant from anal sex if you’re not careful with your cleanup. Depending on where (or if) your partner ejaculates, semen could leak down/out of your anus and get inside your vagina, resulting in a pregnancy . Now this is rare, but the hottest sex is the one you can feel safe about, so do what you can to eliminate unwanted reproductions like STIs and infants.
Going into anal sex, your first thought might be to give yourself an enema, and while clinical sexologist Nancy Sutton Pierce says anal douching is safe every once in a while, it’s a good practice to steer clear. “Douching destroys your rectal microbiome, so regular use is not recommended,” explains Fabian Prado, CMO and cofounder of Pure for Men . Prado also adds that anal douching may lead to higher rates of STD transmission , which is why skipping the enema and opting for a condom is the smart move. If you still want to clean up, some warm water splashed on your anus will give you a quick cleanse.
If you are skipping the enema but still want to feel as clean as possible, both Prado and Johnson recommend eating a high-fiber diet. “Fiber for staying ready is one of the best-kept secrets of the bottom community,” Johnson says. “Aside from its many other key health benefits, dietary fiber literally keeps your sh*t together and moves it out of your system with regularity.”
Having plenty of fiber—found in foods like berries, broccoli, and beans—will keep everything clean and regular. You can also opt for a fiber supplement like Pure for Her to ensure both your anal sex and your sheets stay clean.
While there’s no need to stress about fecal matter during anal sex—not only because these tips help eliminate that but also because you should have a trusting partner who supports you despite any poo—you might feel comfier going number two prior to doing the deed. Just make sure to clean well afterward and wash with soap if there’s going to be any mouth-to-anus action.
And speaking of pooping, Johnson and Prado say you can expect a lil soreness the first time you go after anal, but it shouldn’t hurt. “If you experience severe pain or digestive irregularities following anal sex, it’s recommended you seek medical advice and consult with your doctor,” Johnson advises.
Since the anus doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, using lube is vital for pleasurable (and safer!) sex. And while you might be tempted to grab some numbing lube that’s typically marketed for anal sex, Sparks highly advises avoiding those products. “Never, ever using a lubricant that numbs the anal sphincter,” she says. “This is the one place that you want to know what is painful so that you can stop whatever action you are taking, and not wait for the numbing lubricant/cream to wear off and realize there has been damage.”
Regardless of whether there’s any penetration going on, anything with anal requires lots of trust and relaxation, safety, and comfort, says sex and relationships expert Tia Evagelou . If you start down the anal path tense, you’re going to have a bad—or at least not as good—time. Take a few moments to relax and get in the right headspace. And if you find the idea is too stressful or uncomfy, you can absolutely say no to anal play at any point in time.
A series of safe words can include:
“Sometimes people try to [have sex] through [anal sex], instead of speaking up, because they don’t want to ruin the moment for the other partner or they don’t know how to formulate their needs and sometimes even override their body’s resistance, potentially adding more discomfort to the experience,” says Evagelou. Having preset safe words will make you and your partner feel supported and safer to explore.
“This can’t be emphasized enough,” says Evagelou. “When we are tense, contracting [our muscles], or disconnected from our experience, we are blocking our pathways to pleasure,” she adds. If you relax and breathe, you’ll likely be able to feel a more pleasurable sensation.
“Let them know what you are doing and ask for their permission to do so,” says Evagelou. This means both *before* you do something and *as* you’re doing it. It might take a bit longer, but it’s well worth it as it establishes trust, safety, and connection for both to have an enjoyable experience. Plus, active consent is sexy, so ask away!
While you might think the receiver takes a more passive role, have them guide the penetration to their satisfaction. This can feel empowering as they get to control the speed, depth, and angle of penetration in allowing their body to feel good, says Evagelou.
Vanessa Geffrard, MPH, a sexpert for Lovers , recommends silicone-based lube—like UberLube —as it lasts longer compared to water-based lubes. Plus, you’ll need less of it. Just keep in mind that not all silicone lubes are safe with silicone toys (some are and some aren’t, so there’s no flat rule for this unfortch). Your best bet is to Google the toy you’re working with to see if it’s silicone before squirting some lube on.
If trying anal foreplay with a partner is like your Olympics, it makes sense that you might want to try it beforehand in a lower-stakes environment. Geffrard recommends the Fun Factory Limba M Dildo as the smooth, bendable nature of the toy allows for easy angle changes to find what’s comfiest for you, and there’s a suction cup on the bottom allowing you to “practice” anywhere with a flat surface, like your bedroom or the shower.
Of course, having your period shouldn’t make you miss out on sex, but if you’re squeamish about having vaginal period sex, anal might be a good substitute in those times. “Many women report feeling more pleasure practicing anal sex during their periods while wearing a menstrual cup inside their vaginas,” says Mia Sabat, a sex therapist at Emjoy . The menstrual cup is thought to stimulate the internal walls of their vagina, which can be an added plus to the sensation of anal sex.
Foreplay is so important because you have to “ring the doorbell” before entering, explains Isharna Walsh, founder/creator of Coral , a sexual wellness app. “Massage and warm up the anus before entering anything inside,” she says. Be a good guest (even if it’s your own booty hole), and don’t just breakdown the door.
Some people who use toys learn to have a small handkerchief close by, so they can rest their toy on a “safe” spot when they aren’t using it, explains Angela Watson of DoctorClimax.com . Having little details like this worked out ahead of time can give you more freedom to enjoy the experience and not stress about little things.
It’s worth it to take 15 to 20 minutes to give the receiving partner a sacral massage (aka the portion of the lower back just above the butt crack), says Walsh. “The muscles and nerve endings in the sacrum extend to the whole pelvic girdle and can help release tension,” she adds. Plus, massages always feel good and anything relaxing is a bonus always.
“Having your back door be a part of sexual play does not mean you need to have anal sex ,” says Gigi Engle , sexpert for Womanizer. While internal stimulation can be great too, “you can achieve just as much pleasure without ever putting anything into the anus,” explains Engle. “Massage or lick around the anus,” she adds, as it’s full of nerve endings that can provide pleasure in and of itself.
“Having clitoral stimulation is super important during anal play because it helps a vulva-owner to relax and become fully aroused—both critical steps in enjoying butt stuff,” says Engle. Try a traditional vibrator or go for a suction toy like the Womanizer Liberty , both recommended by Engle.
Suction toys simulate oral sex , so while your partner might only be able to give you oral attention to one spot at a time, with a suction toy you can feel like they’re going down on your clit while they rim you.
Warming lube can help heighten pleasure and make you even more comfortable in the moment. “The heat that is created actually helps to bring blood flow to the area and help increase stimulation to the pleasure receptors in the rectum/anus,” explains Niket Sonpal, MD , of Brookdale Hospital Medical Center. The active ingredient in these heated lubricants is propylene glycol, says Dr. Sonpal, which is the same substance used in Fireball Whiskey. Some other brands use capsaicin, aka the active ingredient found in peppers.
In either case, heated lubricants should be fine for both anal and vaginal use (not in the same sex session, just like, you don’t need to buy a separate, dedicated warming lube for your butt ONLY). Just be careful when touching your eyes, Dr. Sonp
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