How To Stop Watching Porn
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How To Stop Watching Porn
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Make yourself accountable. Even before you start clearing your hard drive, approach your spouse, friend, or respected community member and announce your intention to cut pornography out of your life. [1]
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Finding someone who will support you through the high points and low during this effort will make quitting much easier. There are even online support communities that can help you to abstain from porn and other activities as well, such as masturbation and/or sex. [2]
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This also helps with the practical task of installing anti-porn software, without you yourself knowing the password.
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Destroy your pornography collection. As long as this material is around, falling back into the habit will be easy. Delete pornographic files on your computer and mobile devices. Throw away pornographic magazines, discs, and all other pornographic material.
It’s best to put the physical pornographic images in a document shredder, if you have one, and throw the shredded pieces of the pornographic image in a trash can outside your home, like in the dumpster.
If you own a fireplace, maybe burn the physical pornographic images in it.
For the DVDs, scratch them as best as you can or break them in half.
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Install anti-porn software on your computer and mobile devices. There are many programs available, but in most cases you will need a friend to create the password for you in secret, so you are not able to bypass the block. Here are a few good options: [3]
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[4]
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Qustodio has an extensive array of options, and works on just about any computer and mobile device, except for Linux. Free and premium versions are available.
On a Windows computer, you can use Microsoft Family Safety for free.
Norton Family Online is a free option for Windows, Android, and iOS. Try additional features with a 30-day free trial of the premium version.
Covenant Eyes , a Christian company, offers a service for $10/month for computers and mobile devices, and can prevent even the account owner from bypassing the protection.
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Disable your internet access whenever possible. If you're likely to spend your time trying to circumvent your site-blocking software, stop the attempt in advance by turning off the WiFi or unplugging your Ethernet cable from your computer or mobile device whenever you aren't using the internet for other purposes.
If no one else is using the network, unplug or turn off your router or modem as well. The more steps it takes to get back online, the less likely you are to give in during a moment of weakness.
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Fill your time with other activities. Frequent boredom may contribute to pornography addiction. If you spend your free time bored and alone, the temptation to seek out porn will be more difficult to resist. Find something else to occupy yourself.
Start a daily exercise routine . Because exercise releases endorphins and other "feel good" chemicals, many people use it to compensate when quitting an addiction. [5]
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Take a vacation or a weekend trip to begin your effort. Habits are often easier to change when accompanied by a change in environment or circumstances. [6]
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Ask a friend to introduce you to his hobby. Social activities automatically introduce you to a person or group encouraging you to stick with the change, even if she doesn't know your reasons for picking up the hobby.
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Understand signs of negative behavior. Pornography and sex are charged subjects, and there is no consensus among psychologists or medical experts on the effects of porn or whether a porn habit should be described as an addiction. People who develop a pornography habit may do so to reduce stress, cure boredom, feel good, cope with negative feelings or sensations, or avoid to withdrawal symptoms. [7]
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Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.
That said, the following warning signs should tip you off that your pornography habit is something to take seriously: [8]
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You find it difficult to cut back on your pornography viewing.
You lie about the amount of pornography you watch.
Your relationships, job, or studies have taken a backseat to pornography.
You prefer watching pornography to sex.
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Identify your triggers. Keep a notebook to write in any time you crave pornography or watch it. Write down a description of the scene directly before the craving started, including your mood, what you were doing, and how you were feeling that day. Stress, lack of sleep, friends who engage in or talk about porn, or easy access to pornography are all possible triggers.
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Strategically plan to thwart your triggers. When possible, avoid triggers altogether. If seeing semi-erotic TV ads is a trigger, avoid watching programs that may have that kind of content. If it's your commute past the local college campus, drive another way. If you cannot reasonably avoid a trigger, plan in advance how you will thwart the trigger's effect on you.
If the trigger is unavoidable, make a mental plan in advance for what you will do in that situation. Picture yourself ignoring the trigger, thinking of what to make for dinner instead, or leaving the computer and taking a walk outside. Do something to take your mind off the trigger, such as reading a book, listening to music, or doing something else that will occupy your mind.
Carry around distracting items such as an exciting book or a puzzle collection. [9]
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Find healthy alternatives. If you are sexually or romantically frustrated, try seeking a relationship or a more casual sexual relationship . If you are trying to stop watching porn because of its unrealistic depictions of sex and bodies, or how it teaches you to treat sexual partners, consider watching non-mainstream porn that tries to address these issues, such as the videos awarded a Feminist Porn Award.
Join a support group. There are porn and sex addiction support groups in just about every city around the country. They are often called Sex Love Addicts Anonymous or Sex Anonymous, and they follow a 12-step recovery program. Joining one of these groups is a good way to find support and realize that you're not alone in your struggle with porn. [10]
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Expert Source
Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.
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Seek professional help. If attempting to quit pornography on your own is too difficult or causing too much stress in your life, seek advice from a professional therapist or a 12-step program. [11]
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For example, you may consider joining Sexaholics Anonymous for support. [12]
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Also, keep in mind that therapy is especially important if you have experienced sexual or physical abuse in the past, or suffered from depression or anxiety.
If you have an unsatisfying sexual relationship with a partner, consider attending sexual satisfaction counseling together. One study shows that even ordinary relationship counseling can improve a sexual relationship. [13]
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How do you stop your partner from looking at porn?
Explain to your partner your feelings about them watching pornography and maybe ask them a little bit about why they enjoy it. You can open a conversation about your own personal sex life, fantasies, desires or things your partner would like to try, but maybe feels nervous to bring up. Discussing these things not only strengthens your communication, but can also open up a whole new world to intimacy with your partner. Trying to control your partner's pornography use may actually backfire and result in them hiding it from you, which can weaken trust within the relationship.
How do I stop looking at pornography?
Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
I would recommend joining a support group, like Sex Love Addicts Annonymous. A support group is a good way to keep yourself accountable and prevent you from feeling isolated.
How do I control my feelings to stop looking at pornography?
Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Try to become aware of the feelings as they occur and the situations that trigger them. Be mindful of triggers and distract your mind with other activities. Also, consider joining a support group online or in person as a way to hold yourself accountable.
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
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This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP . Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers. This article has been viewed 2,350,641 times.
"I have tried what people said and stopped looking at porn. This is very helpful to me."
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89% of readers found this article helpful .
% of people told us that this article helped them.
"I have tried what people said and stopped looking at porn. This is very helpful to me."
"Thanks, this helped me a lot. It helped me realize that pornography is just a perverted way of sexual enjoyment and that no matter how much you watch it, it won't fill a void in your life. By the way, you guys who created this site really helped me with a lot, not just this. So thank you all again." ..." more
"This has really helped me find ways to escape the temptation of pornography, especially when boredom has struck. Being alone or away from my spouse seems to be the trigger. Now I have my distractions, or anti-climaxers so to speak, so I can get along without succumbing to temptation. Many thanks." ..." more
"I did it. When I wanted to watch porn, I just did something that was left for me to do, like chores, homework, chat, train kickboxing and do stuff I never did, like basketball and cooking. A porn-free life if awesome!" ..." more
"It's very concise and straightforward. I love the step-by-step methods. Thanks for the website blocking idea. I'm a 25 year old Christian virgin addicted to porn and I want to stop. Now I don't feel so awkward." ..." more
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This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP . Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
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