How To Squirt Woman
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There are certain sex acts that have developed a sort of cult following, and squirting is one of them. The term “squirt” was the 25th most-searched term on Pornhub in 2019, according to the porn site’s annual Year in Review statistics. For many men, there’s something undeniably arousing about a person with a vulva being able to expel fluids just like a person with a penis. And squirting often goes hand-in-hand with female orgasm, which is one of the reasons your partner might be into it, too. (Though it’s worth noting that people can squirt without climaxing—more on that to come. Pun not intended.)
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We'll get there very soon, but first, there's something you should know. Porn has led us to believe that squirting is a lot more common than it actually is, and when a woman squirts, she’s able to shoot yards across the room. However, the truth is only between 10-54% of women can squirt, according to a 2013 review published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. And most of the time, women don’t “shoot” like they do in porn.
“There are many misconceptions about squirting,” says Lola Jean, a sex educator and self-proclaimed “Olympic Squirter.” “Given it is a heavily under researched topic and misunderstood act, this is not surprising. You may be surprised to learn that most of the time squirt does not ‘eject’ from the body with force, but rather falls.”
When some people with a vulva are sufficiently aroused, they're able to "squirt" a clear-ish liquid through their urethra—kinda like how people with a penis are able to ejaculate, except in this case, the process has nothing to do with reproduction.
Squirting fluid can come out in a variety of volumes. “It doesn’t mean you did a better job if there was more fluid,” Jean says.
Since the liquid expelled during squirting comes through the urethra, lots of people wonder if their partners are just, well, peeing. Not quite: a 2011 paper published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine study found that most people's squirt is watered-down urine, sometimes including a tiiiiny bit of female ejaculate, a white, milk-like substance produced in the Skene’s glands.
Almost. Before you get down to business, ask yourself: who is this for? “Squirting isn’t always accompanied by an orgasm and not everyone finds it pleasurable,” Jean says.
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Do you want your partner to squirt for their sake, since you want them to have the most pleasurable sexual experience possible? Or do you want them to squirt for your ego? If it’s the latter, then you and your partner shouldn’t attempt squirting. You’ll likely end up putting way too much pressure on her that she won’t remotely enjoy the sexual experience. So, ask your partner if it is something they are interested in and find out why it is appealing to them.
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Turning your partner on will prime their body for squirting. “Arousal will not only engorge the perennial sponge and the urethral sponge making then more receptive to touch, but it will also help build up fluids in the Bartholin's glands (largely responsible for vaginal lubrication) and paraurethral glands (largely responsible for urethral lubrication),” Jean says.
Arousal can occur from g-spot penetration, clitoral stimulation, digital fingering, oral sex, P-in-V sex, anal sex, or frankly, anything else that gets your partner hot and bothered.
Pro tip: if you're both new to this, resist the urge to put a towel down in anticipation of a waterfall. That’s a lot of pressure you’re putting on your partner who’s never squirted before. Now, if your partner already knows they're a champion squirter, then feel free to prep for cleanup in advance!
Every person is different when it comes to squirting. Some people need firm g-spot stimulation. Others need soft clitoral circling. Some women can even squirt without any direct stimulation to their vulva. Because of this, there are various techniques you can try. You can and should explore various methods with your partner, and of course, listen to whatever they say.
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One popular technique involves a combination of clitoral and g-spot stimulation, Jean says. Once your partner is turned on, you then want to shift your focus more to their vulva (if you weren’t already focusing there). Consider using a g-spot wand to apply targeted pressure to her most sensitive internal areas.
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"Sex hacker" Kenneth Play previously told Men’s Health his technique for helping his partners squirt, which involves using one hand to hit the clitoris, labia, and g-spot. Once his partner is sufficiently aroused, he inserts his ring and middle finger into her vaginal opening. Using his index and pinky fingers, he presses against the outer labia. He then presses the heel of his hand flush against his partner’s clitoris.
You may think that in order to get your partner to squirt, you need to aggressively thrust with your hand and deliver the most pressure possible. This is not always the case. “Everyone’s body is different and while many enjoy a full spectrum of intensity, these are highly sensitive parts of the body, so they may not want you jackhammering away at these nerve-packed zones,” Jean says.
She suggests approaching the squirting process like interval training. “Similar to your HIIT workout, try enacting an interval between time on and time off,” Jean says. “Think of it like an active recovery where you engage in another area, body part, or zone during your time off.”
That said, deciding whether to take a break or not comes down to your partner. You don’t want to cut off stimulation right as she’s on the cusp of squirting. Ask your partner, “Want me to keep doing this or switch it up?”
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“Once you hear the ‘splash splash’ sound—meaning your partner is really wet—I am telling you now that your partner is capable of squirting; they just have to figure out how to get it out of their body,” Jean says.
Often, women report that they feel like they need to pee right before they squirt, which makes sense, considering squirt does come out of the urethra. This discourages some women from squirting because they fear they’re just to pee. Knowing this is a common sensation can help your partner relax and push through the confusing “peeing” feeling.
Once your partner is about to start squirting, it’s generally advisable to keep doing what you’re doing, Jean explains. “It can sometimes be good to move from internal stimulation to external—your partner can often keep squirting this way,” she says.
You may attempt everything, and your partner doesn’t squirt. This is completely fine and doesn’t mean either of you did anything wrong. Plus, there's no cleanup involved. And whether or not your partner squirts, remember the importance of aftercare!
Zachary Zane Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
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Because yes, it's a real thing and no, it's not pee.
Ahh squirting. Isn't it just one of those wacky old myths like centaurs or unicorns? Well, no, actually. Female ejaculation is a real thing, and not (always) as elusive and mysterious as people like to make out. Below you'll find sex educator and Soft Paris co-founder Anne-Charlotte Desruelle's guide on how to try and squirt or make a woman or person with a vagina squirt.
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Make yourself comfortable and get rid of all the tension in your body, make sure you won’t be disturbed and allow yourself plenty of time. You may also want to “waterproof” the area by laying several towels under you.
Gently and slowly stimulate the G-spot. Remember this isn’t a race for performance, so take your time and explore with no expectation.
As your G-spot gets stimulated and arousal increases, the erectile tissue will fill with blood. The G-spot and the labia will become larger. Parts of the G-spot may feel sore, so stimulate the sore parts gently.
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Be aware of your body’s sensations and adapt pressure accordingly. Remember, it should feel pleasant.
For most people, ejaculation can only take place once the vulva and G-spot have filled with blood, and therefore, increased in size.
Because the ejaculate comes out of the urethra, feeling like you need to urinate is a good sign…
Some people only ejaculate when the G-spot is being stimulated (ie: with some penetration), for others, it's the opposite and takes place when the vagina is free of all penetration.
If you're with a man, penis-having partner, or using a strap-on, try cowgirl or doggy style sex positions.
Cowgirl sex position allows you to be in complete control over both body and sensation, making it easier to feel your way to your G-spot.
Doggy style sex positions means your partner can apply pressure on the frontal vagina lining.
Remember, it may happen on your first attempt or it may take a few years… The most import thing is to be at ease with your body.
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Paisley Gilmour Sex & Relationships Editor Paisley is sex & relationships editor at Cosmopolitan UK, and covers everything from sex toys, how to masturbate and sex positions, to all things LGBTQ.
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How To Squirt Woman
