How To Squirt When Having Sex
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How To Squirt When Having Sex
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Megan Wallace (they/them) is Cosmopolitan UK’s Sex and Relationships Editor covering sexual pleasure, sex toys, LGBTQIA+ identity, dating and romance.
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Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just pee.
Look, don't waste your time puzzling over whether or not squirting, also known as female ejaculation , is pee because, spoiler, it’s not. Now that's out of the way, how about you let your mind grapple with a much sexier question: how to make someone squirt? For starters, you might want to crack on with sex educator and Soft Paris co-founder Anne-Charlotte Desruelle's simple guide on making women and other people with vulvas squirt.
Like all good things, the answer to the age-old question "how to squirt?" or even "how to make someone squirt?" is deliciously simple:
It’s time to get comfortable! First up, get rid of all the tension in your body, ensure that you’re not going to be disturbed and leave yourself plenty of time. For extra peace of mind, you may also want to “waterproof” the area by putting down several towels beneath you.
Softly and slowly stimulate the G-spot. Keep in mind that this isn’t a race or performance and be sure to go at your own pace.
As your G-spot gets stimulated and you start feeling more aroused, the erectile tissue will fill with blood and the G-spot and the labia will get larger. Keep in mind that parts of the G-spot may feel sore, so take care to stimulate the sore parts gently.
Be conscious of the different sensations in your body and alter the pressure accordingly. Keep in mind that it should feel pleasant.
For many people with vulvas, ejaculation will only take place after the vulva and G-spot have filled with blood become larger.
Because the ejaculate originates from the urethra, feeling like you need to pee is a move in the right direction…
Some people only squirt when the G-spot is being stimulated (for example, via penetration), for others, it's the opposite and takes place when the vagina is not being penetrated.
Squirting isn’t just for solo play – here’s how to male someone squirt during partnered sex.
If you're with a man, penis-having partner, or using a strap-on , try cowgirl or doggy style sex positions.
If you're having sex with a man, penis-having partner, or using a strap-on , try out the cowgirl or doggy style sex positions.
Cowgirl is a sex position which allows you to be in complete control over both body and feeling, making it easier for you to feel your way to your G-spot.
Doggy style sex positions give your partner the chance to apply pressure on the frontal vagina lining, increasing the opportunities for G-spot stimulation.
And, lastly, remember that squirting may happen on your first attempt or it may take a few years… The most import thing is to be at ease with your body and ditch any expectations!
Medically reviewed by
Dr Roger Henderson and words by Lola Jean
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Dr Roger Henderson is a Senior GP, national medical columnist and UK medical director for LIVA Healthcare
He appears regularly on television and radio and has written multiple books.
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Can you teach yourself to squirt? Sex educator Lola Jean explains how.
Seen someone squirting in the movies and want a piece of that juicy pie for yourself? Then you're in luck! Squirting, also known as female ejaculation (although you don't have to identify as female to enjoy it) is entirely possible and with a few tweaks and tips, you can do it too! For more information on why this fabulous phenomenon occurs, read our comprehensive guide to squirting .
But to get started all you need to ride the waves is a vagina, a sense of willing and some thorough instructions from world squirting champion and sex educator Lola Jean ! Are you ready?
I started squirting in my mid-late twenties. My mom squirted in her late 30’s / early 40s for the first time. I hear of many people who discover squirting after they bear children, most likely due to the awareness and relationship they develop with their vagina.
To be clear squirting is not associated with incontinence. Quite the opposite - strong PC muscles (the ones that help us stop/control peeing) are largely associated with squirting.
Every person with a vulva can squirt if they have a strong enough pelvic floor and relationship with their vagina.
One of the questions I’m most tired of answering is - can every person with a vulva squirt? I have a theory - but it can probably never be proved though I do chip away with some of the clients I work with. It is my belief that every person with a vulva can squirt if they have a strong enough pelvic floor and relationship with their vagina.
There is no single way to do anything as there is such great variance between bodies and people (and those bodies and people which continually change) though in particular I really identify and support the comprehensive work of Dr Laura Merrit of Germany. A lot of what I teach and know about squirting is a combination of the work of Merrit, Dr Zhana , anecdotal experience between classes, clients, and colleagues as well as what I can corroborate or disprove with my own body.
The G-spot, which is more of an area or a plane, is a large key to this process - though not the only one. Similar to the prostate in penis owners, this can be stimulated manually via a finger, a penis , a toy, or internally via one’s muscles groups— the pelvic floor muscles.
It is not a button. Once engorged — similar to the prostate — it will stay engorged. Internal muscle manipulation will always provide more control of these sensations than manual stimulation no matter your parts.
The G-spot, which is more of an area or a plane, is a large key to this process - though not the only one.
This G-area is special for many reasons - it is at a very central part of the internal clitoris which jostles the entire structure. If you weren’t aware the clitoris was more than that little pea-sized part, you’ve got some catching up to do.
This area also stimulates the Skene’s glands - that erectile tissue near the urethra. So, you’re doing double duty by stimulating it. Importantly that does not mean: be really rough and vigorous. You don’t want to have someone bleed while they squirt (trust me, it’s happened) and many people can find direct stimulation dissatisfying or too much, not to mention penetration can sometimes prevent squirt from ejecting.
While trying to squirt, some people like to say, “push like you’re peeing” or that the sensation before feels like you’re going to pee, but I find that not to be true. Plus, it keeps this negative connotation or falsehood that it’s pee .
It feels like a tickle before you squirt and the “push” sensation one does before or while they are squirting is more akin to pushing something out of your vaginal canal - ie a menstrual cup or a penis.
The pushing sensation can be done purposefully or more instinctively though it is important to do this in conjunction with something that gives you lots of pleasure. For most people that is going to be clitoral stimulation and likely externally.
Because squirting has absolutely nothing to with someone who has a penis, I recommend people try to experience or further understand squirting on their own. Those with penises will lack that body empathy one can only have by sharing the same genitals. One you're comfortable and in the mood for some fun, you can get started:
✔️ The more aroused you are the better. Trust your body. Our bodies are very smart and amazing vehicles.
✔️ If you’re worried about having a wee, think about this: have you ever tried to pee on ‘not a toilet,’ eg in the woods? Not easy, right? How about on a person? Even harder.
✔️ Push your body past what you think it’s capable of. That’s not to say you should ignore if something hurts, but if something feels different or unknown try to lean into that.
✔️ For more sure-fire ways: Clit suction toys provide heaps of clitoral stimulation without any penetrative business.
✔️ For a good first way to squirt and also a confirmation that you don’t need penetration in order to do so: The Womanizer and Satisfyer both make great toys you can find links to on my website in the Masturbation section .
We’re obsessed with squirting because it is a physical manifestation of pleasure. It’s sexual applause. Ask yourself if you want to, and why it is that you want to squirt. Find a reason for you that has absolutely nothing to do with your partner, because it’s your body and your body is more than a performance for someone else. You are an agent of pleasure, not just an object of desire.
💟 Lola Jean is a sex educator, instructor and coach offering transatlantic squirting and masturbation classes. Visit Lola Jean for details, or check out her weekly podcast: Is Our Love ___ ? with Lola Jean and The Reluctant Sexpert.
Medically Reviewed by Hansa D. Bhargava, MD on November 24, 2020
Squirting refers to fluid expelled from the vagina during orgasm. Not all people with vaginas squirt during orgasm, and those who do may only squirt some of the time. This type of orgasm includes a rapid ejection of urine from the bladder.
Squirting sometimes also involves secretions from the skene's gland. The skene's glands are sometimes called the female prostate because they function similarly to the male prostate.
A squirting orgasm is sometimes called female ejaculation. But this term excludes non-binary and trans people who are not female but have vaginas.
A recent study has shown that there is a difference between squirting, female ejaculation, and incontinence during sex. However, the term squirting is used to describe all three in everyday language.
All three of these phenomena involve fluid coming from the bladder during sex. Squirting is the expulsion of urine during an orgasm. Female ejaculation is a release of both urine and a substance from the skene's glands. Sexual incontinence — also called coital incontinence — is when someone loses control of their bladder during sex.
Ejaculation in people with vaginas may include a small release of a milky white liquid that does not gush out. Squirting, on the other hand, is usually a higher volume. It is possible to squirt and ejaculate at the same time.
Squirting is real. In fact, scientists have documented the phenomenon. However, more research is needed to determine the exact causes of squirting and female ejaculation.
Part of the ambiguity about squirting is that the skene's glands vary from person to person. Some people with vaginas don't have any, while others have very small ones.
Myth: Everyone Can Squirt If They Try the Same Method
Each person's experience with squirting is different. While some methods can make people squirt more than others, there is no one proven method that makes every person with a vagina squirt. This is because each vagina is different. As mentioned, some vaginas lack the skene's glands which are thought to create the fluid released during ejaculation in people who have vulvas.
Myth: Squirting Orgasms are Always High Volume
Squirting isn't always a high volume event that soaks the sheets. Sometimes it is a small trickle or a stream of fluid.
The depiction of squirting in porn movies often shows large gushes of squirting liquid. Porn producers fake some of these depictions for dramatic effect. All volumes and forms of squirting are valid. Squirting at different volumes is a normal occurrence during sex for many people.
Myth: Squirting or Ejaculation Only Happens During Orgasm
Some people can squirt or ejaculate before or after an orgasm. Squirting can also occur at the same time as an orgasm. Some people also have multiple spurts of squirting spread over a few minutes.
Explore squirting by yourself or with a partner to find out what works for you.
Some sex experts recommend stimulating the g-spot to achieve a squirting orgasm. Either by yourself or with a partner, take some time to find the g-spot with your fingers and/or sex toys. Pressure on the g-spot may make you feel the need to urinate.
Experiment with different methods of bringing yourself or your partner to a squirting orgasm with g-spot stimulation. Some ideas include:
For some people, putting too much pressure on the g-spot can feel uncomfortable. Listen to your body and do what feels good. If you are too tense it may be harder to orgasm or squirt.
BBC: "Every question you ever had about female ejaculation, answered."
Cosmopolitan: "Is Squirting Normal?"
Cosmopolitan: "Sex Talk Realness: Is Squirting Fake?"
Lifehacker: "How to Have a Super-Intense Squirting Orgasm."
Marie Claire: "My Epic Journey to Find the "Skene's Gland," the Mystical Source of Female Ejaculation."
National Council for Biotechnology Information: "Nature and origin of "squirting" in female sexuality."
Refinery29: "Is Female Ejaculation Even Real? 5 Myths Debunked."
Shape: "Is Squirting Real? What to Know About Female Ejaculation."
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WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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