How To Spank A Woman

How To Spank A Woman




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How To Spank A Woman
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50 Shades got you curious about getting cheeky in the bedroom? Here's how to introduce it to your bedroom routine.
Christian Grey made you curious about spanking? But you feel ridiculous whipping out a paddle—or asking him to get slap happy? We asked Sadie Allison, PhD, author of Tickle My Tush and founder of ticklekitty.com , for tips on getting your ass in gear.
Try introducing spanking during a hot sexcapade. Just come right out and slap his bottom, or playfully say, "I've been naughty and need a spanking"—most men love when women take the initiative. He's more of a vanilla guy? Over drinks, start a conversation about what you each like in bed...
Massage is a nice way to prime his (or your) butt pre-spank. Start by gently caressing his cheeks, and after a few minutes, begin kneading them as though you were making dough. Every so often, give him a firm pinch to prep him for more intense action later on.
Now take things up a notch by rubbing your nude body all over his butt. Stroke him with your breasts, and then straddle him and swivel your hips. Feeling your hot, wet V-zone on his skin will drive him crazy with desire.
When you're ready for the big shebang, keep a few pointers in mind (and share these with him, too): 1) Mix things up—try a series of quick little slaps, followed by one big whack. 2) Alternate between smacking with an open palm and a cupped hand; each feels and sounds different. 3) Stick to the fatty lower part of his butt or his cheeks, and avoid his tailbone.
Try this game: Collect a bunch of household objects that would make fun DIY floggers—a wooden spoon, spatula, paperback book, etc. Spank him with one of the items and have him guess what it is.
Glide the toy back and forth across his butt before actually spanking him. It gets him worked up because it emphasizes that you're in control—he doesn't know when the smack is coming or how hard it will be.
Another fun idea to try: Put a soft cashmere glove on one hand, and a leather glove on the other. Switch between caressing and hitting him with one and then the other.
Excuse us, but butt cracks are incredibly sensitive, and because venturing there also has a forbidden vibe, it feels even more highly charged and erotic. If you're using a flogger (Sportsheets makes good ones ), drag it up and over his backdoor in-between smacks.
A cute way to send the message that you're in the mood for a spanking: Use permanent marker to write something sexy on the backside of your panties, like Spank Me or I've Been Naughty . Or just buy mesh panties with a see-through butt. Since men are visually oriented, it's a huge turn-on for him.
Soak a dish towel in hot water, wring it out, and then twirl it up so he can use it like a whip on you. If he's doing the spanking, ask him to occasionally squeeze the cloth, letting warm water drizzle over your butt.
Dirty talk makes spanking even hotter. Tell him, "Honey, every time I spank you I want you to say, 'Again, please,' like a good boy." It might spark some sexy role play. Just make sure you decide on a safe word first—something totally disconnected from sex like "popcorn" or "sunshine."
Consider spanking other parts of each other's bodies, too: Thighs, bottoms of his feet, nipples, whatever. The sensation yields an enticing pleasure/pain blend no matter where it's targeting. (But steer clear of his penis and balls. That's a little too much pain!)
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Spanking is both fun and exciting. If you’re a man reading this, you need to make sure she is into some ass-slapping first, or she may run the other way.
Just remember that her ass is a very sensitive erogenous zone whose stimulation will make her dripping wet with excitement.
Are you new to this practice or want a few tips to improve your techniques? Read on to learn what you should and shouldn’t do.
Each spanking experience will require a dominant and a submissive partner. When you’re the one who is in charge, she will often be the submissive one.
The most often scenario is that she’s been a bad girl, and you are “ punishing ” her for just how bad she has been.
Discuss which one of these roles you and your partner like the best! All you need to do next is to let your imagination going at full speed with naughty thoughts and scenarios.
Always set a safe word that she will say in a case things go over her acceptable limits. This can be any word, but you must pay attention to it.
Keep in mind that she can act as a submissive who wants you to stop for as long as she wants until she says a pre-agreed safe word.
Some couples even like to play rough and virtually force their partner into various sex techniques when they pre-agree who is going to be dominant and who submissive.
Instead of being too eager and start spanking her hard right away, you want to take it slow at the beginning. Swat her butt lightly so she feels only a soft stinging sensation!
This will allow her cheeks to get used to the spank and act as a safeguard. After a few slaps, you can increase your strength gradually.
Increasing the force behind each subsequent slap gradually will give her an opportunity to tell you whether you are punishing her too hard or not.
Slapping her ass too fast can cause significant discomfort that will turn her off in the end. Instead, you want to take a break between each swat.
Although it can be very erotic and fun, when you add in kissing her back, rubbing her lady parts or talking dirty, it will bring this whole experience to a new level!
Spanking is an art. In fact, the position of your hand and the way you hold it can make a big difference. You want to slap her good, but you also want to change up your techniques to make it a little more fun.
Alternating between these techniques is fun. Starting with first and moving into the second works great if you’re trying to build up anticipation or warm up her butt gradually.
Making spanking exciting and fun experience for her is essential. Therefore, you need to give her a mixture of soft and stinging sensations.
Always alternate between various sensations to make your game more unpredictable and exciting for her.
Now, if you’re really into spanking and want to get serious, you can do so with style! You can use either professional toys or even just ordinary household items.
If you like dominatrix play, you can also add in leather outfits, ball gags or handcuffs to make your night even more exciting.
Finally, the trick you can use to make spanking a much better experience for your partner is to add a bit of a dirty talk into the mix. You need to realize that you’re “ punishing ” her for a reason – to be erotic and dominant!
Obviously, she’s been bad, so whisper into her ear something dirty! If she’s submissive, you can also throw in words such as “ you like it rough ” or “ is that what you want? ”
If you are not sure how to talk dirty to her without ruining the mood, then I highly recommend you to check out this article – The Advanced Guide to Talking Dirty .
 
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Spanking must have a terrific PR person. Though frowned upon as a punishment for children, spanking is currently a super-popular, super-sexy method of “punishment” between two consenting adults. The spanking spectrum covers a lot of ground. At one end are the playful taps you do every now and then, and at the other end is “impact play” (when one person—the top/dominant—strikes another—the bottom/submissive—for sexual gratification). But whether you’re a beginner spanker or a powerful dominant who wants to leave a handprint on your submissive, let’s be real: While spanking is totally normal and fun, it’s still hitting someone. Here’s how to do it respectfully...and sexily.
It’s safe to spank someone in your bedroom, but unsafe to spank someone at Buffalo Wild Wings because you’ll freak out the other diners. But where on the body is it safe to spank someone? Anywhere with muscle and fat, like the booty, is safe. David Ortmann, a San Francisco– and Manhattan-based psychotherapist and sex therapist, says his trick is to have the woman he’s spanking put on her sexiest pair of panties (that covers the butt—not a thong). Then, he says, you spank just the clothed area—you can take off her panties later. Stay away from the sides of the body, because it’s more painful. You should also avoid spanking areas that are not protected by fat or muscle. That includes the kidney area, neck, joints, and the tailbone and hip bones.
Along with spanking, common forms of impact play are slapping, paddling, caning, and whipping. (Please note that single-tailed whips are ill-advised for newbies because they can wrap around the body like a python.) Before adding any of the above to your sex life, pick a safe word. “Safe words are mandatory for anything that involves striking or hitting. You should come up with one that’s not ‘No, please stop,’ ” says Ortmann. With BDSM play such as spanking, begging and whining can be dirty talk that’s part of the action, so Ortmann recommends selecting a word that’s completely out of context. Pick something that you know will snap you out of an Inception -ish sex fugue, like “hedgehog,” “Ralph Lauren,” or “La Croix.”
While choosing a safe word is super-fun (like naming a puppy!), with impact play you also need to communicate with your partner before, during, and afterward. Use touch to get a feel for the spankee's preferred intensity. Ask your partner, “So what’s your pain threshold like? How hard do you like to be spanked?” while running your hand down their back. Move your hand down to their ass and try a few practice rounds to learn what their comfort level is. And even after you’ve laid out ground rules and established a safe word, pay attention: “Consent can change. If I’m spanking someone and we agreed on a certain level of intensity, but they change their mind, I have to know. It’s okay for them to change their mind,” Ortmann says.
If you’re new to impact play, start with your hands, because they’re easily accessible/attached to you and won’t hurt your wallet. “They also allow for skin-to-skin contact, which is a great way to connect to each other,” says Goddess Aviva, a New York City–based dominatrix. But if you do want to level up and spank someone with an object, simply waltz through your kitchen. If you don’t want to spend on expensive kink toys , Aviva recommends a wooden spoon. Unless you’re an impact-play expert, stick with tools that make a “thuddy” sound, like a paddle. I’m a snob, so when I want to be spanked with something other than a hand, I love a BDSM-black paddle .
Impact play can be both emotionally and physically intense, due to the spikes of adrenaline and endorphins released. Sometimes, after spanking or any BDSM experience, you and your partner can have a come-down. BDSM aficionados talk a lot about “aftercare,” which simply means checking in with each other after you’ve gotten off, just to make sure all parties feel good about what went down. At BDSM events or sex parties , you’ll often see chocolate set out, which is meant to help replenish guests’ oxytocin. You can give your partner a nice massage, and make sure to simply ask how they’re feeling and if they enjoyed themselves.
It’s easy to spank safely: Just stick with the ass, start with your hands, talk to your partner during the sesh, and maybe have a cookie on hand.
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Start small. Don't immediately spank your child if you see them doing something you dislike. Talk to them first, and try a nonviolent method of discipline if needed. If you decide to spank a child, it should only be as a last resort, after other methods have failed.
Conditional spanking (a mild spanking after a 2-to-6-year-old child has defied a less extreme form of discipline ) is less risky than spanking as a first resort, according to some studies. [1]
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Ask the child calmly why they did what they did. The child may not have realized that what they did was wrong, or maybe you misunderstood what happened. Talking can help clarify the situation: either helping the child realize why their decision was a bad one or helping you realize that your child didn't misbehave after all.
If you're too upset to be calm , say "I'm upset, I need a break to calm down." Walk out of the room and take some deep breaths. Then come back.

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Talk to the child about the consequences of their actions. Older children are able to self-reflect and realize why something is wrong. Ask them how they think other people feel about what they did, or what their actions caused. You can use nonviolent communication and "I" phrasing for scripts like "When you ____, I feel ____." For example:

"How do you think your sister will feel about you breaking her toy?"
"When I didn't see you in the store, I felt really scared. I need you to stay close by so I know you're safe and not lost."
"How do you think Dad felt when he had to clean poop out of the bathtub?"


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Consider whether the child needs to be punished at all. Not every learning opportunity needs to involve punishment.

For example, if your child resolves to do things differently after a conversation, then there's no need to punish them: they learned on their own.
Sometimes, it's you who needs the learning opportunity. Perhaps you expected too much of your child, or put them in a stressful situation that they weren't able to handle calmly. Kids don't always have the emotional tools to handle stress in a mature way. Try letting it go this time, and keeping your child's limits closer in mind next time.


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