How To Seduce Daughter
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How To Seduce Daughter
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operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
Email: corporate@standardmedia.co.ke
It was a normal, busy weekday. I was driving to work and noticed cars parked along the highway. I realised that there was a police crackdown on traffic violators and, to my horror, I suddenly realised that I had forgotten my driving license at home. Luckily, no one stopped me.
When I got to work, I decided to park my car and take a bus home to get my license. I wasn't going to take chances and risk trouble on my way home in the evening.
When I got home, I found the house silent. My husband had said he had a headache and was not going to work. I figured he was in bed, still asleep. My daughter, a university student, had mentioned she didn't have didn't have morning classes so she was probably studying in her bedroom.
I tip-toed upstairs to our room so as not to disturb my sleeping husband. I knew exactly where the license was so I thought I could just grab it and ease the door shut...until I heard noises from the bedroom.
I had never suspected my husband for cheating on me let alone bringing a woman to my house. But what I saw was beyond anyone's imagination; my husband having sex with our daughter!
The sight of my daughter and my husband naked on my very bed sickened me. I still get nauseated at the sheer thought of the spectacle. It was more ugly than shocking. Momentarily, I thought I had gone mad. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out.
Then my daughter shamelessly retorted: "Mum, why are you surprised? I thought you knew it all along!" And to rub it in, my husband confirmed that what they were doing was no mistake. "The only mistake we've made is using your bed," my husband arrogantly said. Only the previous night, he and I were very intimate on the same bed. What a betrayal!
Their retorts brought me back to my senses and I walked out. I later told my in-laws and the village elders what I had seen and all of us were summoned. My husband can win an Oscar; he denied everything saying that he was very concerned I was losing my mind. I was shocked when he and my in-laws suggested I should get psychiatric help. I knew they had beaten me and I got into serious depression.
I kicked my husband out of our bedroom and as expected he ran into his 'lovers' arms. My two sons kept aloof and never encouraged any discussion about what was happening. Maybe they too blame me for their sister's insanity though their distant relationship never changed.
Thoughts of pain and regret started creeping through my mind. I had severally been warned by concerned women who had seen them together that the two were overly involved. I often told-off the women justifying the closeness with the obvious fact that it is psychologically proven that daughters love their fathers more than their mothers.
When my daughter grew older and became a pretty young woman, I got suspicious but I severally rebuked myself for even imagining that my daughter and her father would ever have a sexual relationship. From when she was a tiny baby she would sit on his lap and lay her head on his chest and he would kiss her cheeks. What reason did I have to thwart the beautiful relationship between father and daughter?
I recall a day when one of my friends called me to inform me that she had seen my daughter and her father kissing passionately. I scolded the woman for having such immoral thoughts and firmly defended my family. My husband is a prominent business man and my family was steadfastly crocheted together hence I wouldn't be the one to expose it to public shame. Besides, even if it were true, everyone would blame me for being poor in parenting or worse still, no one would believe me. Had I listened, I would have cautioned my daughter early enough or separated them at some point but I worried what the two would have thought of me had it turned out to be just an innocent father-daughter relationship.
The relationship between me and my daughter was average; we had good and bad times and I was firm but loving whenever she did a mistake. But every time I corrected her, the father would reprimand me in her presence. This made her very disrespectful and even when I invited our local pastor to speak to her, she accused me of being unfair to her declaring that the only true friend she had was her father.
She was very distant to her brothers and had no girlfriends. When she was in high school, I questioned who her girlfriends were but she was categorical that she enjoyed her own company. I admit I may have given up on her too soon because I chose to ignore her and to continue bringing up my sons who had teachable spirits. I comforted myself that getting solace from her own father was safe instead of getting it from outside.
I went to see a psychological counselor as a last resort but he advised me to file a divorce. I have invested so much into that marriage that I can't stand losing all the estates I have laboured for. I chose to stay and ignore everything.
I do all a wife is supposed to do apart from sharing my bed with my husband or choosing his wardrobe. That's within my 'co-wife's' docket. It's been over three years since they moved in. Our sons have gone their different ways to pursue their careers. I am so lonely in that house but I can't move out neither can I share my ordeal with anyone. I blame myself so much for being a poor mother but now, as it were, it's too late. I must learn to accept my daughter as my co-wife.
I am a mother and a once happy wife. Not anymore; today I am a bitter woman; full of regrets and nursing pangs of resentment against my daughter. She is a girl I nursed as a baby and nurtured into adulthood. I never withheld an iota of love from her yet she mercilessly took my husband and abused my matrimonial bed. It would have been less painful, if my co-wife were not my very own daughter.
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The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print
operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
Email: corporate@standardmedia.co.ke
My wife and I are in our 30s and have one daughter, who’s recently turned two.
My problem is, my wife lets our daughter sleep in our bed at night, which means I usually get out and go to the spare room.
At first it was just the occasional night when our daughter woke up and came in, but now it’s become pretty much every night.
My wife doesn’t see anything wrong in it and says that our daughter just needs comfort at the moment.
However, I’m exhausted from sleeping on a bad mattress and, more importantly, our sex life is virtually non-existent.
I know letting your daughter fall asleep again in your bed seems like the easiest option at the time when you’re tired, but you really are making a rod for your own back with this one.
It’s pretty normal for young children to wake up at night and want to get into your bed, but you have to keep putting them back! If it’s causing stress taking her back to her own bed straightaway because she cries, wait until she falls asleep, then carry her back, so she wakes up in her own room in the morning. If you consistently do this, eventually it’ll work.
When you have young children and life is busy and sometimes stressful, having a good sex life is a lot about having the opportunity to actually have sex. So, if you’re being banished to the spare room, that’s going to cut down the opportunities significantly.
You’re right to address this now before the periods between sex get longer and you find you’re not having it at all.
If you’re working from home and your daughter has a nap, why not use that as a chance to have some grown-up fun?
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S1: This ad free podcast is part of your slate plus membership.
S2: So you have your your own 16 year old daughter now and you’re wanting to talk to her about her sexuality, but you’re not exactly sure how can you explain why?
S3: Well, you know, I mean, some of that, I think is like that general male acculturation we have that it’s the mom’s place.
S4: So like if they’re going to have a conversation about dating or boys or whatever. That’s mom’s thing. And even though actually I’m really interested in my daughter and I are very close, there’s this part of me that feels like I should stay out of it because it’s going to be uncomfortable.
S3: It’s uncomfortable for you or uncomfortable for her. I think we’re uncomfortable over her.
S5: Adam’s daughter is halfway through 16 and is at that age where she’s starting to explore. Her dad isn’t the type to try and sabotage, though. He actually wants to get involved and try and help guide her. Relationships in high school can be trap doors. And he’s thinking he actually can teach her things that her mother can’t. But there’s this problem. He actually has to bring it up first and get his 16 year old to listen.
S6: Hello and welcome to MAN UP, I’m your host, a minus smile. And on this show, we crack questions big and small about manhood. This week, Adam’s dilemma.
S5: Adam obviously isn’t the first dad to take interest in his daughter’s dating life, for better or worse. But he’s not trying to control her. He genuinely thinks that he can help. We usually hear about the other kind of dad, the one who bullies their daughters into abstinence or harasses the boys that they date. Are you familiar with the rapper T.I.?
S4: I only only a couple of songs. Oh, are you talking about this thing in the news?
S1: Re-architect. Yeah. Yeah, I heard about it. Yeah. Yeah. He he. I mean he now said it was a joke, but he was describing how he would cart his daughter to the gynecologist to have her hymen checked. Yeah. And I feel like he rightfully caught flak for that.
S7: It was pretty cringe to hear what I know usually like the day after the party. She’s enjoying the gifts. I put a sticky note on it. Don’t get no tomorrow. Oh, great. You know, I grew up that way.
S8: And like, I don’t know what his religious or cultural background is completely. But, you know, for for me. I grew up around the idea that, like, once you’d given your virginity away, you were kind of damaged goods. Right.
S4: Almost like like you could do this, but it would ruin it would ruin sexual experience or like it would diminish sexual experience for the rest of your life because you didn’t have a pure relationship between a husband and wife with nobody else that intruded on its subjects. But that’s like an old type of thinking that I’ve sort of put on the shelf. So I can I can be in contact with it emotionally. But it doesn’t have the same effect on me that it had.
S1: Then I kind of had that image in my head of the overbearing father who when his is going on a date, will like bring the shotgun to the door and throw on the date to be like, bring her back by 9:00 or X-Y. Yeah. Did you always feel this way or did any part of you feel uncomfortable with the idea of her one day having sex?
S4: I think, you know, when she was a little or a girl like ten or eleven, I think before she hit puberty, I knew it would happen intellectually. But of course, she’s still my little baby, you know. And I think I kind of pushed it off more. But I think I think what happened for me is. The more that I began to hear about her peers through the grapevine, the small school culture were part of, you know, she’d share she’d dish a story about a classmate that was, you know, very sexually adventurous and maybe, you know, racing way ahead of her peers or whatever. It was like, OK, well, this is gonna happen. And so how do I help her have this experience where she doesn’t expose herself to a lot of gossip. She’s respectful of her own privacy. You know, there’s no pictures, video or otherwise that are floating around anywhere that will come back and bite her in the butt. So I got, you know, like I think I just kind of got over it like this is going to happen. So, like, help her get the most out of it with the least risk.
S1: It sounds like you’ve done a lot to to sort of try and guide her. I wonder if you’ve actually tried to sit her down and discuss that with her?
S4: No, not really. No, no, absolutely not. Like I’ve I’ve talked to her mother about whether I should talk to her other moms, like you should try. But like, it’s still, I think, really embarrassing. Definitely. Every now and then, I’ll tease her a little bit, because, you know, when she has when she has a guy over, normally they spend most of time in a room, quote unquote, studying. I’ll teach her. I’ll be like, good, you know. So she had an assignment. She and her boyfriend didn’t do that well on the assignment. And I said, you know, maybe you guys should change the ratio of how much study and versus how much make out you’re doing.
S9: And she was like she just put up her hands. She goes, stop.
S1: We started to get a sense of like how uncomfortable this could actually be. Yeah. Exactly. So can you just help me understand, like, what is the nightmare scenario here? Is it that you expect her to totally be grossed out and withdraw or what exactly?
S8: Yeah. You know, I mean, I think the things that are on my heart I really want to share with her are the two of them are really difficult. I mean, like they’re like. Yes. I mean, they’re like the triple axel in the father child talk about sex. And one of them is. Trying to help her understand that, you know, probably a lot of the boys that she will be with or want to be with probably are really, really ignorant about sex. And like a lot of them get it way too much information from porn.
S4: And so like if she wants to have pleasurable experiences or teen and young adult years, she’s going to have to be assertive, like she’s going to have to be willing to educate a guy and like set boundaries and be able to prioritize her own pleasure. See that how you talked about that? You know, like not I don’t know how to get there as a dad to two, a daughter. But I think the other thing and what I worry about, too, is that I think a lot of times young people seem to have a much more casual view towards sex than when I was growing up. And I worry about her putting herself at risk for sexual assault because she’s gonna put herself in situations where she doesn’t realize that she’s at greater risk than she does. She understands because she’s smaller, you know, and the alcohol is ever involved. Like, you know, just like guys can be dangerous. And like, you’ve got to be wary. You know, we’ll talk about it so much. So I always know if she if she really understands that.
S1: Is not having the sex talk with her. No longer an option for you? Why?
S4: Why do you feel it have to do not only a longer option. I could still put it off. Are you planning to? I have talked to a lot about protecting yourself around assault. And you know, she heard that like that. Like that conversation didn’t go so badly. She really listened to it.
S1: So do you feel like you can trust her in those situations? Do you feel like you’ve done your part?
S4: Yeah. I mean, I know that there’s gonna be things she’s gonna do and not tell me about C-6 for the.
S10: Yeah, but for the big stuff. Like I do think I can trust her. And.
S4: You know, she’ll get there, she’ll she’ll do something that, you know, like steps outside of that. But like, my big goal was just to stave it off as far into the future as possible. Like. Yes, she’s probably in a mess around with alcohol and drugs down the road, you know. But if we could if I could get her to her very late teens or early 20s before that happens, I’ll be ecstatic.
S1: So if your wife kind of has a handle on everything, like what can you tell your daughter that her mother can?
S4: So I think some of it is that my daughter and I are a little bit more similar personality style. So sometimes think like she might take me a little bit more seriously if I shared with some of this. But I think the other thing, too, is like just maybe understanding a little bit the male experience and like how males kind of view this and can view this in the like, the cultural pressure that males have around dating and sex and conquest. And, you know, just so that she kind of goes into that sort of armed. I was told, Cameron, that we had this interesting thing where there was a young man who she’d been really interested in and she thought was interested in her. And they were together all summer. And then he kind of started really pulling back and didn’t seem to have time for her anymore. And we could tell her heart was really breaking and she was getting upset and she kept making excuses for him. And I my wife was like, well, you know, maybe he’s really busy or, you know, you know, maybe you should talk to him about how you feel. And you’re like, Mom, you don’t do that. Like, I’m not going to presume that, like, you know, he’s he’s got time for me or whatever. All right. And the more I was listening, the more I just kind of was. I said to my wife, I said, look, oh, she can hear this, but he’s just not into her. Like he’s got his driver’s license. He only lived fifteen minutes away. If he wanted to say or he could make type work. How did you know? Because I was a horny teenager. What if I. There was a.. If there was a girl I wanted to be with. And I could make I could squeeze time into it. I would I would make it happen. You know.
S1: So you have like that valuable male’s perspective that might be able
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