How To Rub My Pussy

How To Rub My Pussy
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Veronica Lopez
Veronica Lopez is the sex and relationships editor at Cosmopolitan, where she covers and edits stories about single life, dating, relationships, sex, identity, and more.

Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.

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Hear me out: Rubbing your clit is vastly underappreciated. It is, by far, the easiest way to masturbate (you only need your fingers!), it’s quiet (unless you’re moaning, in which case, good 4 u!), and it’s 100% free—no purchase required. But it’s easy to forget about the benefits of clitoral rubbing when we’re so delightfully spoiled by vibrators . And although vibes really do just hit different, knowing how to rub your clit in a way that works for you should be a top skill in your masturbation tool kit. (What else are you gonna do when your trusty vibe runs out of battery mid-masturbation sesh?)
Remember: The clit is the star of the show. 82% (yes! 82!) of vagina-owners can’t orgasm from penetration alone, so for most of us, it’s the key to cumming, and often, the key to good sex. ICYMI, the clit is the nub at the top of your vaginal opening, and it holds around 8,000 nerve-endings (a lot!). And even though it’s tiny, the clit is mighty.
“The clitoris is made up of erectile tissue (and has, on average, as much surface area as a penis when engorged),” says sex and intimacy coach Irene Fehr .”When fully engorged, it actually enables the woman to enjoy sexual contact and stimulation to the fullest—and that includes penetration. That’s because the clitoris is part of a system— an orchestra if you will—of internal organs that allow the entire act of sex to be pleasurable. With sensual stimulation of the entire body and the clitoris itself, the blood rushes to the organ, and it begins to thump with pleasurable sensations such as tingling, swelling, and heat, and it allows for the whole orchestra to burst into music.”
Told you the clit was the star of the show. Here are some expert-approved tips for how to make sure you’re giving it the attention it deserves, so you can feel exactly the kind of pleasure you deserve, too.
According to Fehr, sensual stimulation is a way to tease and awaken the body, so that arousal builds and builds “until it’s ready to overflow into an orgasm or into the desire to have penetration.” She suggests using slow and sensual touch on the entire body (not just the clitoris) and starting from the outside in. “The clitoris and the vagina should be the last in the order of what gets stimulated.” She suggests moving from the underarms, to the chests and breasts (“without touching the nipples”), to the inner thighs. Once you reach your genitals, “start with the external labia and move inward.” Fehr also suggests varying the level and speed of your touch, from light to firm, or slow to fast. “By going slowly, you allow the body and the clitoral network to awaken, to come alive, and to become engorged at its own speed. It allows the nervous system to settle, feel safe, and open up to more.”
This genius tip comes courtesy of Carmel Jones, sex and relationships expert . If you have a very sensitive clitoris, touching it directly can feel like over-stimulation, Jones explains. For folx with ultra-sensi clits, put two fingers up like you’re making a peace sign, and press the peace sign just outside your clitoris, on your outer labia, Jones suggests. From there, you can either move your fingers up and down (imagine you are playing two keys on piano), or gently massage your fingers together and then apart. Both these motions can stimulate your clitoris without direct contact, Jones says. For even more of a buffer, Jones also says you can also try doing the peace sign method or other masturbation techniques over a pair of undies or a light blanket.
Your clit is like an iceberg — there are a ton more nerves under the surface, and the part you can see and touch is really just a small portion of it. Your clit actually extends around your vaginal opening and is shaped kinda like a wishbone. “Most vulva owners are only aware of the top of the clitoris that is typically rubbed to reach orgasm,” explains Malika O’Neill , sex expert and owner of The Pleasure Collective . Massage your labia and the area right above the clit wishbone legs for even more stimulation. You can also extend your touch even further and massage your vaginal opening, perineum (between your vagina and anus), inner thighs, and anus, O’Neill suggests. If you want even deeper sensation, O’Neill recommends using an external vibrator on those areas to try to get even more zuzh out of your anatomy.
The skin that covers your clit is your clitoral hood, and it’s essentially like a foreskin for your clit. You can work the clitoral hood into your masturbation sessions as well. O’Neill suggests gently gripping the skin between your thumb and pointer finger and experimenting with pressure until you find something that feels pleasurable for you. From there, you can try different motions like moving your hand or fingers up and down. To help you visualize it, you’re essentially giving your clit a mini-hand job, as O’Neill explains.
To “rub” your clit is a pretty broad directive, so sometimes it can be helpful to know exactly what to do and how to move your fingers or hands. O’Neill suggests experimenting with diagonal movement for more pleasure. “Take two to three fingers, flatten them, and gently rub your clit back and forth in diagonal motions, increasing in speed and intensity as you desire.” This can be great if you have a sensitive clit or if you’re just looking to change things up.
Sex and relationships educator Kate McCombs suggests putting a quarter-sized drop of lube on your fingers and using it to gently massage your clitoris. You can also put your fingers on either side of your clitoris and move slowly up and down your inner labia, AKA the folds of skin immediately surrounding your clit. The lube lets you slow down and really focus on smooth, continuous motions so you can figure out what feels good. Not everyone likes friction!
Some women find that consistency, rather than increased pace, is what gets them off. To test this theory, use one or two fingers to make steady circles around or on the top of your clitoris. You can vary up the speed, but once you find something that feels good, try and stick with it for a few minutes and see what happens.
A twist on the above: still steady, but this time, make it a tapping motion! This can tire out your hand after a bit but it allows you to play with pressure. Do you like taps that feel a bit heavier, like a rub, or lighter, like a cool ocean breeze here to deliver you bomb-ass orgasms?
This strategy comes courtesy of OMGYes , a site devoted to understanding how women get off. Try using both hands . One hand slowly circles the entrance of your vagina without penetrating, while the other draws circles on your clitoris more quickly. The increase of sensation variety might be exactly what you need
Put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it. If you're someone who's into rubbing your clit against a surface (#TBT dry humping), you might want to see what happens when you masturbate face-down on your bed. That way you can still use your hands, but you'll also be free to grind against your mattress or a pillow for a little extra oomph.
At the end of the day, vibrators are a great option for people whose hands get tired or, let's be real, if you happen to have long fingernails. Basically, vibrators are for everyone. They're A++++ for experimenting because most toys these days vary in both speed and pattern of vibration. You can find a stellar list of clit-centric vibrators right this way . (Just make sure yours is fully charged before you start going at it.)

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