How To Read Guys

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Do you know how to read people and decode body language? It is one of the most essential people skills.
When you think about reading people, you need to understand how to group each body language cue into one of two buckets: a micropositive or a micronegative.
A micropositive signals interest, curiosity, or engagement.
A micronegative signals nervousness, disinterest, or boredom.
In an interaction you want to see more micropositives than micronegatives. Every nonverbal cue you read is about deciding whether it is a micropositive or a micronegative. Here are 7 powerful body language cues you should know how to read in people:
There is a universal behavior humans do when they feel ashamed or embarrassed, and it’s super easy to spot. When people get embarrassed, they often touch the side of their forehead. (See video above for a demo.)
This is a micronegative. You see this all the time when people are embarrassed. Even animators recognize this as the universal shame gesture.
Why does this happen? It is actually a starter gesture for wanting to hide or cover up or block out what is happening. If someone is really embarrassed, the forehead touch turns into a full-on eye block, where they go from the forehead touch to the eye cover.
Body Language Tip for You: Watch out for any time someone touches the side of their forehead or blocks their eyes. It likely means they are a little ashamed or embarrassed, and it might be time to back off.
Want to learn all 96 cues humans send to each other? Check out the latest comprehensive book on body language:
Control and leverage the tiny signals you’re sending – from your stance and facial expressions to your word choice and vocal tone – to improve your personal and professional relationships.
Whenever someone feels disengaged, uncomfortable, or closed off, their body shows it with what’s called blocking behavior. This is a micronegative.
Blocking is when we cover or block a part of our body as a barrier between us and someone else.
We do this subconsciously because we are trying to protect ourselves. Pay attention if someone suddenly crosses their arms, their legs, or frequently holds something—such as or a computer or a notepad or a pillow—in front of themself.
I found the most cringeworthy example of this in an old Blind Dating episode that went terribly wrong. I have to show you their first impression. Notice any blocking behavior in this video?
Did you see how she crossed her arms and legs right from the start? Doesn’t bode well for a good date…and it didn’t end well.
Body Language Tip for You: Watch for someone who does a lot of blocking. They might not be so open to you.
Do you hear that? It is a natural human behavior to tilt our head and expose our ear when we want to hear something better. This one is a micropositive!
If someone’s head tilts while the person is speaking with you, it is a great sign. It means they are listening, they are engaged, and they want to hear more. You know who is great at this? The ultimate great listener, Oprah Winfrey. I think one of the ways Oprah gets people to open up to her is with her amazing nonverbal. Let’s watch this clip and see how she listens with her body.
Did you see her slight head tilts and the slight nods? The head tilt plus nod is one of the most powerful nonverbal micropositives to show someone you really are listening.
Body Language Tip for You: If someone tilts and nods while you speak — keep them around. They like listening to you. Want to show someone you are listening? Give them the head tilt and nod.
Have you ever seen a little kid tell a lie?
They frequently tell their lie, and then cover their own mouth. Subconsciously, whenever we are trying to keep something in, we cover our own mouth. As if to say to our brain, “No, don’t say it!”
The mouth cover is also a common thing to do when we are feeling embarrassed. Lady Gaga does it.
Body Language Tip for You : Watch for a sudden mouth cover. They might be trying to keep something from you.
Hands tell us so much about what a person is thinking. In fact, I could show you all of these clips on silent, and you know what the person is saying, without even hearing the corresponding words. Such as:
We always watch someone’s hands as they are talking. You should be using more hand gestures. They are a great micropositive because they help keep people engaged.
Body Language Tip for You: Learn all 20 hand gestures you should be using to get your message across. And watch this tutorial on hand gestures:
When talking about body language, we hear a lot about eye contact — and that’s important. But you know what often is forgotten? The eyebrows. Eyebrows are a great little nonverbal secret. Here’s what you want to look out for, the eyebrow raise. This is a great micropositive!
Whenever someone is interested, engaged, or curious, they raise their eyebrows. It’s almost as if we want our eyebrows to get out of the way so we can see something more clearly.
Body Language Tip for You: Raise your eyebrows when you are interested, and don’t miss an eyebrow raise that is sent to you!
The last cue is the most important: It’s knowing how to decode the face. Facial expressions can be both micropositives and micronegatives, depending on which one you see.
Reading facial expressions is a game changer for accurately reading people. Dr. Paul Ekman discovered 7 universal microexpressions . The ones you want to look out for are:
Lie detection is an incredibly powerful people skill to add to your arsenal. We have a 5 step method for spotting lies and bringing more truth into your relationships. In a ten-minute conversation, you are likely to be lied to two to three times. You might not even realize how often the people in your life are being deceitful. 91% of people lie regularly at home and at work. Check out our lie detection guide:
I love this human behavior class thanks Vanessa
Very educative, am currently in my first year in management and this information have gained I have observed it in my team members yet I was not able to decode. Now I can
Thanks this will really help me to understand people better.
Your talks and demos are very interesting and real. I enjoy these demos and the course is helping me a lot to understand humanity from another direction.
I also love your talk it’s amazing .love is not for one person but it’s 4r 2
This will help me much in public presentation. Thank you!
I love all your ted talks & human behaviour conversations. They are amazingly true .Lots of lv to u vanessa ♥️
What is it & How to Thrive Remotely
The Definitive Guide to Facial Expressions

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Men will sometimes convert more "feminine" emotions into anger or rage. In reality, he may be feeling sad, vulnerable, or even embarrassed, but he doesn’t know how to say it. If you notice that he’s always angry, try asking about his stress levels or how he’s feeling. [1]
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Anger is the one emotion that is socially "acceptable" for men to feel. Men often feel like if they express anything else, they’ll be seen as "girly" or "not manly enough."
Most men don’t mask their emotions on purpose; rather, they’ve learned to do it through societal pressures and expectations.

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This can lead to frustrating conversations. However, men are usually taught not to talk about their emotions, so bonding through words can be tough for them. Instead, they might like to have conversations with a clear-cut purpose or problem to solve. [2]
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For example, if you’re having a conversation about your relationship, your partner might have trouble expressing what you mean to him. This can be hard to hear, but it’s probably because he’s not used to talking about his feelings.
Your partner may express his feelings in other ways, though. If he brings you flowers or cooks you your favorite dinner, he might be trying to express his love for you without saying it directly.

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA Marriage & Family Therapist
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Most men haven’t had the chance to work through their feelings. He may find it easier to write down his thoughts and feelings and show them to you or send them in a text. If he has a super tough time identifying his emotions, a mental health professional can be helpful. [3]
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Mind
U.K.-based mental health charity focused on providing advice and resources to anyone facing mental health problems.

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Mindfulness practices, like meditation and yoga, can help him work through his emotions in a healthy way. You could try doing these activities together so he doesn’t feel alone.
If you two are struggling to communicate about your emotions, try holding a weekly check-in where you talk about any issues in the relationship.
This also means that he might need more time to process his emotions. If he says he needs space or to give him time, you should respect his wishes.

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Negative emotions, like sadness, anger, and pain, can be hard to process. Some men will withdraw from their friends and family members instead of talking about what they’re feeling. If you notice this, you can try to talk with him about what’s going on, but he may need some time to work through everything on his own. [4]
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This could look like him taking longer hours at work, drinking more alcohol, spending more time away from home, or behaving recklessly.
The best thing to do is to let him know that you’re here to talk whenever he’s ready. If you try to force him to open up to you, he could withdraw even further.
This is especially common after an emotional ordeal, like the loss of a loved one.

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You might see men get excited about sports or video games. This is because society has told men that getting happy and giddy about baseball or basketball is okay. You might even see him hug his friends or give them high-fives, when normally he’s more reserved. This is all normal! [5]
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It’s great for men to have an outlet to express their feelings, especially positive ones. You should try to encourage him to be excited and happy whenever he can be.
If you want to join in, you should! Try watching his sports team play their rival or learn how to play a two-player video game together.

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You may have to offer to help before they ask. This includes doing chores, looking for lost items, or even scheduling doctor appointments. If you notice that he’s struggling, try offering assistance if you can. [6]
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Try saying something like, "Hey, do you need help looking for your keys? I think I saw them on the table yesterday." Or, "Did you get a chance to call your doctor? I can find the phone number for you if you need it."
Men may also find it hard to accept your help, even if they really need it. You can continue to offer your assistance gently but firmly so they know that you’re here if you need them.

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Since this is expected from a lot of men, he might think you expect it, too. This can be frustrating when you’re just trying to vent about a bad day or an annoying co-worker, so you should be clear and tell him exactly what you want before you start talking. [7]
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For example, you could say, "I’m gonna tell you a story now, but I don’t need advice. I just need to talk it through with someone."
Trying to solve everyone’s problems can be exhausting, so it’s not good for him, either!

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This is a myth that has roots in toxic masculinity. Of course, every man is different, but you shouldn’t assume that all the men you know are constantly trying to sleep with you (or anyone else). [8]
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While it is true that men statistically have higher sex drives than women, it’s not a guarantee across the board. Every man is different, and your partner’s libido could be higher than yours, lower than yours, or about the same.
Stress, mental health issues, and being tired can all lower a man’s libido, too.

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How To Read Guys

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