How To Play With Your Clit

How To Play With Your Clit
Updated on November 10, 2021 @ 09:00AM

InStyle is part of the Dotdash Meredith publishing family.

We've updated our Privacy Policy, which will go in to effect on September 1, 2022. Review our Privacy Policy

Maressa Brown is a journalist and astrologer who's a regular lifestyle contributor and resident astrologer for InStyle. She has nearly two decades of professional experience writing, reporting, and editing lifestyle content for a variety of digital and print consumer-facing publications including Parents, Shape, Astrology.com, and more. She is currently based in Los Angeles and completing her first title with Artisan Books to be published in early 2023.

For as long as science has been aware of the clitoris, it has been the subject of much scrutiny, confusion, and dismissal.

The Greeks seemed to get the hype, as the word for the female organ comes from the Greek kleitoris , which has been translated as both "little hill" and "to rub." But that doesn't even begin to cover the treasure trove of nerves, blood vessels, and, in turn, the potential mind-blowing pleasure that it offers — right at our fingertips.

And that pleasure part is key. Casey Tanner , certified sex therapist and an expert for sex toy company LELO , explains that the clitoris is the only genital organ that functions solely for sexual satisfaction as opposed to reproduction. "The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings in the tip alone," she notes. "That's twice as many as the penis, and yet the clitoris often gets only half of the attention, if that."

It's no wonder that, according to a study of over a thousand women published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy , 37% reported clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse, and an additional 36% indicated that, while clitoral stimulation was not needed, their orgasms feel better if their clitoris is stimulated during intercourse. And while you might think of clitoral and vaginal orgasms as two different things, we now know that what most of us think of the clitoris is actually just the external tip of the iceberg — the clitoris continues inside of the body, too. "Even vaginal orgasms are dependent on the clitoris, which is much larger than its visible tip such that it can be stimulated internally through penetration," says Tanner.

No doubt that's a case for learning more ways to enjoy the ultimate pleasure spot. Here, the best ways to stimulate the clitoris on your own or with a partner, according to Tanner and other sex experts.

Those same 8,000 nerve endings mean that the clitoris is sensitive in the best way, but sometimes friction can increase sensitivity to the point of discomfort or pain — especially when the clitoris is aroused, which experts will refer to as erect (yep, same as a penis), says Tanner. And although your vaginal tunnel is capable of creating its own lube when you're turned on, the clitoris is not.

For that reason, Tanner says it's vital to introduce a lubricant to stave off chafing and dryness. She recommends starting with a water-based lubricant (like LELO's Personal Moisturizer , $25 for 5 fl. oz.). "It uses natural ingredients, is pH balanced to prevent infection, and safe for use with toys," says Tanner. "A little goes a long way, so massage a few drops onto the clitoris and add as needed."

If you're new to clitoral stimulation, Tanner offers the following tips for getting acquainted with your clit.

Be mindful. Try explorative touch with the optional addition of a hand-held mirror. "Every clit is different, so notice the anatomy of yours," she notes. "Where is it in relation to your labia? How large or small is it? Take note of the clitoral hood, the small fold of skin that surrounds the head of the clitoris. No need to judge or label – simply notice." After all, the more familiar you become, the easier it will be to locate during solo play, she points out.

Start with a super slow, gentle touch. "Even before you touch, you can give the vulva a little hug," advises Amy Baldwin, sex educator and co-host of the Shameless Sex Podcast . "Cup the vulva with your well-lubed hand, and let it hang out there so the skin temperatures can acclimate to one another."

Try different patterns. "Use your index and middle fingers to massage the head in small, circular motions," advises Tanner, who adds that you might also enjoy rubbing the same fingers back and forth just slightly across your clitoris in small, straight lines, noting the difference in sensation.

Other motions to consider, according to Baldwin: kneading, pinching, swirling, stroking, tugging, and tapping on and all around the clitoris, including the labia.

Use varying pressures. "Experiment with pressing down harder as your massage, finding an intensity that feels stimulating without causing discomfort," suggests Tanner.

When it comes to the amount of pressure you might prefer, consider that the main factor in the sensitivity of your clitoris is the size of your clitoral hood. "The anatomical equivalent to the foreskin on a penis, the hood is the small fold of skin that surrounds the head of the clitoris to protect its delicate tissue from friction," explains Tanner. "When the clitoris becomes erect, the clitoral hood retracts to expose the sensitive tissue to pleasurable sensations. Folks with a larger clitoral hood, and thus more protection, may be able to tolerate more direct and intense touch. People with a thinner or smaller hood may find that they enjoy a lighter touch."

And if you happen to have a larger clitoral hood, you can also manually retract it by taking your index finger and pulling upwards slightly on the skin above your clitoris, she recommends. Then, using your fingers or a vibrator, you'll notice the increased sensitivity to touch.

Be indirect. "If these options are feeling too sensitive, try massaging your clitoris indirectly, through your labia," notes Tanner. "Use your fingers to move your labial folds over your clitoris, and then try the same techniques again. If these options aren't stimulating enough, use a vibrator to up the intensity."

You can also simply spend time massaging the outer areas of the vulva, including the labia majora and minora and opening of the vagina where the clitoral anatomy attaches internally, recommends Shannon Chavez, Psy.D., a psychologist and sex therapist in Los Angeles .

If you're partnered: The same techniques described above can be used by someone else during partnered sex, either with a partner's fingers or tongue, notes Tanner. "Use directive language, such as 'a bit softer' or 'a little to your right,'" she suggests. "If you're comfortable doing so, move their hand to locate your clit, or show them where it is using your own hand. Introduce these activities by letting your partner know that you're learning more about what makes you feel good, and you want them to be part of that."

If you're a seasoned pro at jilling off, consider these next-level moves.

Try layering. "When playing solo, try massaging your clitoris indirectly, through your labia, to control for the sensitivity of your clitoris," recommends Tanner. "This technique involves using your fingers to move your labial folds over your clitoris before applying pressure."

Experiment with "broadening." In order to explore what different surface areas feel like on your clitoris, you can move away from using just two fingers and try using the surface of your palm instead.

If you're partnered: "When choosing a position, think about angling yourself such that each thrust or hand motion will also hit rhythmically against your clitoris," advises Tanner. "For example, ask your partner to lie on their back while you straddle them seated on top. Rather than moving vertically — up and down — angle your body forward at about 45 degrees, letting your clitoris rub against the shaft of their penis or strap-on." Another option: "Choose positions such as doggie style, wherein you or your partner have a free hand that can stimulate the clitoris with fingers or toys during penetration," she says.

Interested in incorporating some tech-savvy gear? Consider these tips.

Reach for a wand toy. There's no doubt that you can use a classic wand vibrator on the clitoris. Because the head is larger than a cylindrical model, it'll cover more surface area of the clit, says Chavez.

Try internal stimulation. "Thrusters or curved devices will stimulate the G-spot and can be moved from side to side and stimulate the internal anatomy of the clitoris," points out Chavez.

Explore with a clitoral vibrator. You might also consider experimenting with toys that were designed with clitoral stimulation in mind. If you're playing solo, Tanner likes LELO's ORA 3 ($169; LELO.com ). "It has a rotating tongue stimulator that mirrors the sensation of oral sex and can be applied directly to the clitoris for intense stimulation, or massaged around the clitoris for a slightly more gentle experience," she notes.

If you're with a partner: "If you're desiring more clitoral stimulation with a partner, try introducing TIANI 3 ($169; LELO.com ) in the missionary position," she recommends. "Insert the smaller arm into the vagina, and the larger one on your clitoris. You or your partner can then use the hand-held remote control to explore different settings and intensities."

No matter what technique you're using, do your best to be patient with yourself and how long it might take to reach climax. "Porn and romcoms depict people with vulvas orgasming after mere seconds of sexual activity, and this is not reflective of reality," says Tanner. "If your goal is to have an orgasm, it's not at all abnormal to need 20 minutes or more to get yourself there. Take breaks, or alternate between internal and external stimulation if sensitivity becomes a problem."

Toast Is a Meal and These Recipes Are Proof
Addison Rae Is "Mortified" by Her Parents' Drama
The 411 on 2022 Midterm Election Dates
The Best Pilates Rings for At-Home Sweat Sessions
Level Up Your Manicures With These 15 Nail Drills

This content is imported from {embed-name}. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

Womanizer Classic Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator
Satisfyer 2 Multispeed Clitoral Stimulator
A classic, ergonomic vibrator, that’s small yet mighty.
I Masturbated Every Morning for a Month
Taylor Andrews
Taylor is one of the sex and relationship editors who can tell you exactly which vibrators are worth the splurge , why you’re still dreaming about your ex, and tips on how to have the best sex of your life (including what word you should spell with your hips during cowgirl sex )—oh, and you can follow her on Instagram here .

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Our 4-Week Oral Sex Challenge Is Right This Way
21 Romantic Sex Positions That Are Super Intimate
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
The Horniest Taylor Swift Lyrics of All Time
Here's *Exactly* How to Tell If They Like You Back
Yep, These Are the Best Dating Apps of the Year
Found: Flirty Pickup Lines to Text Your Crush
Cedrik Lorenzen Is Here to Whet Your Appetite
How I Got Banned From (Almost) Every Dating App

We may earn commission from links on this page, but we only recommend products we love. Promise.

Seventy-five percent of women need more than just penetration, sooo….
Meet your clitoris, the small and sensitive part at the top of your vulva. With its 8,000 nerve endings, it exists to give you some serious pleasure. I mean, you can basically credit that thing to any orgasm you’ve ever experienced according to new research .
“It turns out that all orgasms are clitoral,” says sex therapist Holly Richmond , PhD. “They discovered that the clitoris actually has legs. These nerve endings are expanding all through the vagina and pelvic floor muscles.” So rather than thinking about the clitoris shaped as a button, it’s more similar to a wishbone.
Most easily, it can be achieved by masturbating and experimenting with your hand or toys, as it’s actually pretty dang hard to experience one during sex considering 75 percent of people with vaginas need more than penetration to orgasm.
“Masturbating allows a woman to know more deeply what type of touch works for her,” says psychologist and sexologist Denise Renye, PsyD . So regardless if you’re single or partnered, to experience a clitoral orgasm, it’s important to take time alone to get to know your anatomy and touch preferences.
Some people’s clitorises are so sensitive that they don’t want to be touched directly but prefer circular hand motions above the external clitoris. Others want an intense vibration directly on the clit. The only way to find out is to explore, which luckily isn’t too daunting of a homework assignment.
Here are our favorite toys to nail that clitoral O
After you’ve explored what works for you, share with your partner how you like being touched. You can use your hands, have your partner rub your external clit, or add a vibrator to your penetrative sex life.
And if you enjoy oral sex, feel free to get comfy and allow your partner to go down on you for as looong as you want, girl.

Edition US UK Australia Brasil Canada Deutschland India Japan Latam
California residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.

Tap to play GIF
Tap to play GIF

Tap to play GIF
Tap to play GIF

Tap to play GIF
Tap to play GIF

Tap to play GIF
Tap to play GIF

Tap to play GIF
Tap to play GIF

Tap to play GIF
Tap to play GIF

Tap to play GIF
Tap to play GIF

Tap to play GIF
Tap to play GIF

Tap to play GIF
Tap to play GIF

Tap to play GIF
Tap to play GIF

Carrie Bradshaw
@Carrie_Bradsh4w

Reply
Retweet
Favorite

Your weekday morning guide to breaking news, cultural analysis, and everything in between
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
It's important to know what you're working with down there, so grab a mirror, spread 'em, and check out the glans of the clitoris and the hood, says Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure .
This is helpful not just to explore different sensations and various types of touch with your sight as a guide, but because what you see affects how you get off. Turns out, size and location matter. Studies have shown that the bigger and closer to the vagina the clitoris is, the easier it is to orgasm. Obviously, you can't really do anything about the size and location of your clit, but getting acquainted with your body's geography is just responsible, fun, and informative.
Boosting your sexual satisfaction with a vibrator can go beyond 1) take a vibrator and 2) put it on your clitoris. "Some clitorises like very focused, targeted stimulation," sex educator Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., author of Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life , tells BuzzFeed Life. "Other clits really like a diffused vibration, more a rumble than a buzz."
Experiment with light and blunt pressure, as well as using the tip and the flat sides of your vibrator. If you're in the market for a new toy, these vibrators could pretty much replace your partner.
Unplugging for a bit can give your clitoris some rehab so you don't start relying on your toys for an orgasm — since, you know, real-life partners don't vibrate. "Taking a break can get you back in touch with what gets you off and help you explore and discover new erogenous areas," says Levine.
You can usually count on Reddit for some questionable sex advice, but one user was actually onto something when they suggested treating your clitoris like a small penis . Seriously. They advised: "Gently feel for the lower end and grab with two fingers and squeeze laterally (gently at first, but you have to squeeze hard to feel it a lot). And then move up and down like you're jacking yourself off." Depending on the actual size of your clitoris and clitoral hood, this might not work perfectly, but it's a hell of a unique tip.
Lubrication isn't just needed to make penetration easier and safer; it's critical for most clitorises too, says Nagoski. The clitoris is super sensitive, and dryness increases risk of irritation.
If you're used to rubbing one out, try tapping with the pad of your finger instead. Levine recommends varying the pressure and speed, from soft to firm, and medium to fast.
Because the more you know, the more you can enjoy. Some rapid-fire clitoris knowledge from Nagoski: It can range from the size of a small pea to the tip of a gherkin pickle, has nearly double the nerve endings of a penis, and is the only part of you made entirely for sensation. It's also way bigger than you think — the external pleasure button is only the tip of the iceberg. And by iceberg, we mean larger, wishbone-shaped structure .
There are some researchers who believe that the internal structures of the clitoris are actually the source of the experience of the G-spot, says Nagoski. When you're aroused, your entire clitoris swells, so stimulating the front wall of the vagina with a toy, finger, or properly positioned penis = a form of clitoral play. Enjoy.
Or, you know, the kitchen section at your local Bed Bath & Beyond — for sanitary reasons. According to Levine, some kitchen utensils can be a good stand-in for sex toys if you want to try something new. She suggests this pastry brush to tease and tickle your clitoris or a baster for light suction. Just make sure you clean them thoroughly before each use.
And note: While these are great for external stimulation, you should never put anything in your vagina that wasn't specifically made to go in there.
Sometimes, a feather-light touch is all you need, especially if you're like most people and tend to default to deeper stimulation, says Nagoski. Ghost your fingers (or vibe or chosen kitchen utensil or whatever ) where you would normally put pressure and build up the tension.
Some say that the upper right quadrant is extra sensitive, according to Levine, b
Cheater Porn
Panty And Stocking Ep 1 Dubbed
Mujeres Pilladas En La Calle

How To Play With Your Clit

Report Page