How To Perform Cunnilingus

How To Perform Cunnilingus

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Last week, we delved deep into how to give a fantastic blow job . This week, it's the ladies' turn — we turned once again to Kristen Tribby of The Pleasure Chest to help us figure out exactly what to do when mouth meets vagina.
Here, some tips for going down on your woman with the best of them:
1. Please stop pointing your tongue
We don't want to name names, but lots of people out there go straight for sword-tongue when they start giving a woman head. Please do not do that.
“Most women do not like a pointy, hard tongue on the clit,” said Tribby. “Try flattening your tongue and using broad strokes.”
Repeat after me: broad strokes. BROAD STROKES. The hard, jabbing tip of your mouth-muscle is giving nobody an orgasm any time soon.
In my experience, most cunnilingus-providers aren't afraid to shove a finger or two up in there while going down. Which is great. Tribby suggests curling two fingers up towards her belly button once they're inserted, and using a “firm 'come hiher' motion” to stimulate the g-spot.
But! Fingering her isn't the only way to incorporate your hands.
“You can also use the labia to massage the clit by gently pressing the lips together and kneading the clit between your fingers,” said Tribby. “Putting firm pressure on the mons pubis (the mound) and incorporating circular motions will also help to awake the nerves.”
There's a misconception (I hope it's a misconception, anyway) that men out there are intimidated by sex toys. Nothing can replace a real, human dick, so don't worry. But that doesn't mean a good toy can't help with oral, especially because – well, you probably can't get your dick up there at the same time, and sometimes it's nice to have penetration that doesn't involve a fingernail.
Tribby says that the most popular toy amont the Pleasure Chest staff is the Pjur Wand, because it's “perfectly designed for accessing the G-Spot..it's also slender enough to stay out of your mouth's way.”
4. Stay the course, a.k.a. pay attention
There's nothing worse than when your partner has found a really super rhythm with you, they're licking away, and then suddenly they decide that because you're so into it they should start going as fast and hard as humanly possible just when you're about to come.
Instead, if you're doing something that has your woman writhing with pleasure, just fucking keep doing it. You will know she's writhing with pleasure by the fact that she is writhing. In order to notice that, though, you'll have to get out of your own head (ha) and focus on her movements.
“Often, when women want more they will thrust their hips towards your mouth,” said Tribby. “Once you found the movement that works, repetition is key.”
5. Forget what you learned in high school
If what you learned in high school is that forming the letters A-Z with your tongue is the way to make a woman come, I regret to tell you that you've been woefully misinformed.
“A big misconception is that people should write the alphabet with their tongue,” said Tribby. “This is silly, because when you're concentrating on letters in your head, you're not paying attention to her signals in the moment.”
Tribby suggests creating suction around the clit, as if it were the head of a penis, and always using a flat tongue to go back and forth.
Keep these rules handy, and you will have a happy lady on your hands. And in your mouth (COULD NOT RESIST).
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Medically reviewed by
Dr Juliet McGrattan (MBChB) and words by Paisley Gilmour

8 oral sex tactics that experts swear by
Dr Juliet McGrattan (MBChB)
Dr Juliet McGrattan
Dr Juliet McGrattan spent 16 years working as an NHS GP.

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What’s the best way to eat pussy? Read our expert tips on how to perfect this glorious oral sex act.
Cunnilingus – also known as oral sex, licking someone out, eating someone out, going down on someone, and giving head – is the fancy, official term used to describe when someone uses their mouth to stimulate someone else’s vulva or vagina .
While many women and vulva-having people love cunnilingus because it focuses heavily on stimulating the clitoris and therefore is more likely to make them orgasm (between 70-80 per cent of women need clitoral stimulation to climax), many also feel self-conscious about receiving it.
Here’s an expert guide to cunnilingus, including a step-by-step guide on how to give (and receive) oral pleasure, plus the all-important STI and sexual health risks associated with the sex act:
Cunnilingus is stimulation of the female genitals using the tongue or lips. ‘Good cunnilingus requires technique – whether you are giving or receiving,’ says sex and relationship expert for Lovehoney , Annabelle Knight . ‘The key is that both partners are completely relaxed so no one is worrying or feeling insecure and you can both get lost in the moment.’
Knight recommends the following 7 key steps to helping your partner reach clitoral nirvana:
Most people enjoying cunnilingus won’t want to go from zero to oral sex in 30 seconds. Take your time and ease into it. Do other things you know they love. Use your hands and mouth all over the body, which will nicely foreshadow what is to come. When the recipient is good and excited, head south.
Most of the attention with cunnilingus is on the clitoris, but every woman is different and there may be other parts of her that will take oral sex from the every day to the out of this world.
Remember many people have sensitive clitorises, so don’t go too heavy on it at the start. Flatten your tongue and use wide slow strokes to explore their inner and outer lips, vagina, and clitoris. Imagine licking an ice cream cone. Start at the perineum and lick up and around the clit and back down the other side.
In general, it’s said women and vulva-having people tend to like firm pressure and repetitive motions. Quick tongue flicks against the clitoris can actually be irritating, which is the kind of furious cunnilingus we often see in pornography. If you’re not sure, ask your partner to give feedback while you try different kinds of strokes—circular, side-to-side, up-and-down. Don’t take it personally if they flinch—discovering what pleases is often a process of trial and error.
If you’ve ever seen your partner masturbate, you’ll have some idea how they like their clitoris to be touched. Ask them to show you now, or you can offer them your hand and ask them to demonstrate the kind of stroking they prefer by placing their hand on top of yours.
Remember penetration is always optional, and you should always get consent before penetrating your partner with your fingers or a sex toy. If they’ve given you the all-clear, when they’re good and excited, add some lubricant to your fingers or toy and gently insert it into their vagina. Move them in and out using short but firm strokes. Put your mouth back on their clitoris and lick while you penetrate your partner. This won’t do it for everyone, but many people love the experience of clitoral stimulation and penetration.
As steady stimulation seems to do the trick, don’t stop unless you need to come up for air. You’ll see the signs when your partner is nearing orgasm—the moans, their thighs pressing against your head, their body arching, their hands tightening on your head. And they’ll usually let you know when to stop. If not, simply ask, ‘Do you want me to stop now?’
Dr Maria F Peraza Godoy, a urologist, sexual medicine expert, clinical sexologist, and co-founder of Healthy Pleasure Collective , says you should also consider the following:
For women and vulva-having people who like to feel in control, Godoy recommends the giving partner lying on their back while you straddle them. ‘This allows a total contact between the mouth, the clitoris, and the vulva, so it offers a very intense level of pleasure,’ she says.
‘The alignment of the hip and pendulous movements during oral sex is essential to increase pleasure,’ adds Godoy. ‘Feel free to dance and balance your hips on a small pillow placed under your lower back, this elevates your hips and vulva.’
Many women and vulva-having people are nervous about receiving cunnilingus, which is normal. Getting naked, spreading your legs and having someone face-first in your vulva can feel a little intimidating or intense.
‘Some people do feel self-conscious about their vulva,’ says Sarah Calvert, UKCP and CORST psychotherapist and psychosexual & relationship therapist . ‘There has been a reported rise in rates of labiaplasty – operations to reduce or alter the labia – and young people seeking the procedure.
‘The rise could be due to the sexual images that we see and their portrayal of vulvas, suggesting the vulva should look a certain way. It’s important to remember that vulvas, like penises, come in all shapes and sizes; everyone is different and difference is to be celebrated.’
Vulvas, like penises, come in all shapes and sizes; everyone is different and difference is to be celebrated.
Calvert says many women and vulva-having people have internalised negative messages about their genitals, sex and pleasure. ‘They may be uncomfortable about receiving oral sex because it puts them in the spotlight and they feel less in control. They may feel pressure to perform to please their partner – pressure to orgasm,’ she adds.
If you want to receive oral sex but feel self-conscious for any reason, Calvert suggests getting to know your own body. ‘Think about your relationship with your genitals – what do you feel about your vulva? What do you feel about oral sex and receiving pleasure? When having sex, practice staying in the body, and in the present.’
‘Focus on the sensations, rather than going into the mind and getting lost in thoughts, which cause us to disconnect from our bodies – and, depending upon the thoughts, can cause anxiety. Notice what it feels like. Sink/relax into the feeling. Make the goal to focus on pleasure, rather than to orgasm,’ she adds.
If you’re worried about the taste or smell of your vulva and this is putting you off receiving cunnilingus, you needn’t be. ‘Many women think that their genitals have a particular smell and this may make feel them unattractive,’ says Godoy. ‘Your genitals smell good, it smells like genital, that’s it.’
But if you don’t enjoy cunnilingus for any reason, tell your partner. ‘If you dislike how your partner is giving oral sex it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong, or there is something wrong with you, because you don’t enjoy it,’ says Calvert.
Many women think that their genitals have a particular smell and this may make feel them unattractive.
‘Our likes and dislikes may change over time and vary in different situations or contexts. Communicate with a positive focus, think about what you do enjoy, be playful and experiment,’ adds Calvert. ‘Use non-verbal communication too, using your hands or body to indicate what you like. Generally, partners want to know that they’re hitting the spot, and good communication is the key.’
Cunnilingus is not risk-free, despite what you may have heard. Becky Lund-Harket, founder of The Candid Collective and workshop facilitator for Sexplain explains, ‘There is a risk of transmission when genitals are involved in sex, so that includes cunnilingus and other oral sex as well as manual stimulation including hand stuff, if using the same hand on different genitals, anal sex and penis-in-vagina sex.’
The STIs most commonly passed during oral sex are herpes , gonorrhoea and syphilis , Lund-Harket says. Chlamydia , HIV , hepatitis A, B and C and genital warts can also be passed on through cunnilingus, but are less likely to be.
To ensure the oral sex you’re having is safe, use protection like condoms and dental dams.
To ensure the oral sex you’re having is safe, ‘use protection like condoms and dental dams,’ Lund-Harket explains. ‘Dental dams are specifically for use during oral sex involving the vulva or anus. They are thin sheets of latex or polyurethane which stretch over the area acting as a barrier, and oral sex can then be given/received through the dam. They are less readily available than condoms but some sexual health centres will stock them or you can purchase them online.’
As well as using protection, Lund-Harket says ‘honest communication with your sexual partners is also paramount to keep everyone safe!’ She recommends getting an STI test every six months, or with every new long-term partner. ‘Please go for a test if you are specifically concerned about a sexual experience you have had, or if a sexual partner has told you they have tested positive for an STI.’

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How To Perform Cunnilingus

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