How To Orgasm Without Touching Yourself

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How To Orgasm Without Touching Yourself
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Reina Gattuso is a feminist journalist covering food, sex, and politics.
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Many of us have woken up from a sexy dream, throbbing with excitement. Some of us are even luckier, and can climax from nipple stimulation , or dry humping, or even intense genital-free makeouts. Sex worker, artist, sexologist, and world-famous sex legend Annie Sprinkle details seven types of female orgasm on her website, including some that happen without touch. But when my friend—an everyday, sex-positive lady—told me she could have orgasms without touching herself, I had to learn more.
There’s a well-worn cliche about chocolate being orgasmic (“It’s so good you’ll cum ,” bonbon ads basically tell us), so when this friend of mine mentioned that getting stoned and eating Nutella actually made her orgasm, I thought it was just a figure of speech.
“No,” she said. “I mean real orgasms. Genital and all-body.”
Being the intrepid journalist that I am, I had to get to the bottom of this. Is it possible to orgasm without genital contact? And if so—how could I get in on it?
When Beverly Whipple learned some women could have no-touch orgasms, she was as amazed as me. A pioneering sex researcher and professor emerita at Rutgers University, Whipple designed a study.
“We had women come to my human physiology laboratory at Rutgers University, and had them experience orgasm from genital self-stimulation and also from imagery alone,” Whipple says. “We found there was not a physiological difference between orgasm from genital stimulation and orgasm from imagery.”
The women who came without genital touch experienced the same increased heart rate, the same pupil dilation, and same increased pain tolerance as when masturbating. The same parts of their brains lit up.
But Whipple couldn’t figure out exactly what the women were getting off to. “I tried to get the women to tell me what they were imagining, but they just couldn’t do it,” Whipple says. “Either I wasn’t good at getting them to talk, or they just couldn’t tell me about it.”
“Orgasmic experiences brought on by breath don’t feel exactly the way genital orgasms do.”
For answers, I called up Barbara Carrellas. A sex coach, writer, and speaker, Carrellas turned to tantric sexual practices in the late 1980s, at the height of the AIDS epidemic.
Tantra is a set of practices and beliefs that are part of the broad, diverse cultural sweep of Hinduism. In South Asia, it historically advocated the breaking of dominant taboos around the body — including eating meat, having taboo sex, interacting with dead bodies, and breaking ritual caste taboos — to achieve spiritual awareness.
In the contemporary West, tantra is often reduced to its sexual aspect, and has been largely commercialized. But in the late 1980s, tantric sexual practices represented a much-needed connection to physical and spiritual pleasure for a community ravaged by stigma and disease. Carrellas studied tantra as part of a support group for people with AIDS and those who loved them. “We were all trying to find the answer to the question of how to have healthy, ecstatic sex without spreading the virus,” she says.
That’s how she learned about breath and energy orgasms. They use a combination of breath, sound, visualization, and movement to move energy through the body and achieve ecstatic experience without direct genital contact. “Orgasmic experiences brought on by breath don’t feel exactly the way genital orgasms do,” says Carrellas. “They’re more full-bodied. They happen everywhere except your genitals.”
Carrellas has been using this technique to facilitate sexual pleasure and healing for decades. She leads workshops with people who have spinal cord injuries, cliteredectomies, or other conditions that present a challenge to clitoral orgasm. Her sessions with college students, sexual assault survivors, and people with gender dysphoria that have brought participants to tears, evoked ecstatic laughter, and even inspired one attendee to dump her date. “I was about to make a big mistake,” the woman explained. Carrellas says, “She walked off alone and happy.”
One sunny November day, Carrellas worked the same magic with me.
Well, not directly. We chatted on the phone for a while, and then she passed along a set of written instructions so I could try them out. (You can purchase a guided meditation if you want to try it yourself.) Mid-morning in my empty apartment, I went for it.
Carrellas says to begin by lying flat on your back with your knees up, and breathe in seamless cycles. Each inhale should begin where the last exhale finishes, so that the breath is connected in a continuous stream. With the inhale, you’re supposed to fill your belly like a balloon. With each exhale, you press your lower back directly to the ground and squeeze your PC muscles.
The energy was climbing, my breath speeding, my heart pounding, waves of pleasure sizzling.
As you breathe, you allow energy to climb up your chakras, focusing on each place step by step — first your perineum, then your lower abdomen, then your solar plexus, all the way up to your third eye.
Most people, Carrellas’ instructions say, don’t make it to the third eye. They’re already too busy having full-body orgasms.
I didn’t make it to the third eye, either. I was on track by the time I got to my solar plexus. I rocked and rolled, I breathed in waves, I pressed my lower back to the floor. Moans came and I went with them. Things started heating up. The energy was climbing, my breath speeding, my heart pounding, waves of pleasure sizzling, and then — I reached for my vibrator.
Some may call this a failure of the method. But I think this is a sign of the method’s success. It turned me on. It connected me to my body. It didn’t matter how exactly I felt good or whether it was the sole reason for my orgasm. What matters is that I felt good and had an orgasm.
Beverly Whipple had beat me to this realization by several decades. “Each woman is different, each woman is unique, and each woman needs to know what is pleasurable to her,” she says. When it comes to orgasm, she says, “I never use the word ‘achieve.’ I use the word ‘experience.’”
In some ways, Carrellas’ method is simply a more conscious enactment of the movements many of us make in sex — the fast breath, the rocking pelvis, the giving yourself permission to experience pleasure for pleasure’s sake. Touch-free orgasm is not some esoteric, out-of-reach, super-secret technique. It’s something we all have access to.
And there was something different about the orgasm I had that morning. I’m a freelancer, so mid-morning orgasms are kind of de rigueur . But they’re not a great pre-work preparation method because frankly, coming makes you sleepy as hell. After this one, though, I felt charged up. Awake. Focused.
It wasn’t the most earth-shattering thing I’d ever felt, but it was something. It was a reminder that (and forgive the cliche) whatever magic we seek from sex is already in ourselves.
“We all live under a glass ceiling of possibilities,” Carrellas says. “These techniques shatter that ceiling and reveal a higher ceiling.”
Most of the time — especially in the brutal rat race of patriarchal capitalism — we try to break that ceiling by striving. We think that if we only push, force, exert, will, or do more, we can experience more pleasure, better love, a better version of ourselves.
But sex, really good sex, with ourselves and others, isn’t the result of an efficient workout routine or an effortful self-help regimen. It requires letting go. “Sex or sexual energy isn’t something you do,” says Carrellas. “It’s something you learn to allow.”
That may just be the secret of coming without genital touch: allowing yourself to have pleasure.
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Think Yourself Off: How to Orgasm Without Touch
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Some people can think themselves into an orgasm using pure imagination. I happen to be one of those people and I believe it to be a much more fulfilling and enriching way of getting myself off than getting messy with myself or sleeping around with random guys who may not be able to do the trick anyway. Not to mention thinking yourself off helps prevent STDs. You can practice this with a partner as well to bond emotionally and build up tension for the sex you do have. Thinking yourself off happens entirely in the brain but can cause a physical orgasm if done right. More women than men are capable of thinking themselves off and not all women can either so don't get discouraged if you aren't successful the first time. Here are some tips if you're interested in trying it or want to improve your current experiences with thinking yourself off
As with sex it is important to relax when you want to think yourself off. Make yourself comfortable in bed or build a fort full of pillows. Release any tension from your day and write down anything on your mind to clear it. Basic meditation helps here. Nudity is not a necessity so feel free to wear your favorite onesie or leave your jeans on if you're feeling horny in the middle of the day. Put the kids or pets in another room and lay down
Light some candles or turn on some music if that's your thing. Eat some chocolate and drink a glass of wine. Wearing something sexy can make you feel better about yourself. I usually use total silence to focus on my fantasies without distraction and turn the lights off. I have a lavender scented candle too because lavender is a natural aphrodisiac. It's important to avoid pornographic music or videos as those distract from your imagination. Do a strip tease in the mirror to let yourself know you're doing this for you
Now that you're relaxed and in the mood all you have to do is close your eyes and start. Closing your eyes lets you use your imagination to focus on imagining your other senses such as smell and sound and touch. This way you can use your imagination to visualize your fantasy and bring your partner to life. Imagining your lover's smooth legs or hairy chest and the taste of their lips is easier with your eyes closed. You can cover your eyes with a sleeping mask and draw the blinds to block out the sun
Some people use strictly erotic scenarios while others make up elaborate romantic ones. This is an opportunity to actually have sex with an alien or create a twin for your partner. Or you can use this to satisfy your unfulfilled romantic desires of being wined and dined or serenaded on a tropical island. Your fantasy can change if you practice this together with a partner and you can also do it over the phone. I personally fantasize about my ex because I had an emotional connection with him and he was really good at making me orgasm. Pick whatever you want with whoever you want and wherever you want to do it
Let your imagination run wild. If your fantasy runs somewhere you normally wouldn't then do it anyway. Focus on the details. If your boyfriend always skimps you on oral now you can make him finish with it. Imagine the physical sensations of touching your genitals without actually touching them. Let your fantasy pull your hair and bite your neck and suck on your ear and kiss your back. Use anything and everything that turns you on. Remember the taste of giving oral to a previous or current partner or what their sticky sweat smells like to make your fantasy come to life
You can include physical actions to make your fantasy feel even more real. Lie on your back with your legs spread open or lay on your stomach as if on top of someone. Simulate sex by rocking your hips back and forth. Contract your vaginal muscles and arch your back in preparation for the climax. Makeout with your imagined partner. Pinch or rub your nipples and massage your thigh. If you're having difficulty try lightly tickling your genitals through your underwear. I like to move my tongue in the way I imagine him eating me out
The key to successfully orgasming from fantasy is to continue your fantasy when you start to climax. Since you're not actually being touched letting go of your fantasy when you start to feel yourself cum will stop you from cumming. Fully give in to whatever it is that gives you that orgasm and let your body do the rest. When your vagina starts contracting keep imagining him pounding you. When you're about to cum on her belly, bury yourself in her chest too. If you feel more of a full body orgasm then let the wave wash through you while you press your bodies together. Keep imagining until you're done
As I said earlier not everyone is capable of orgasming from fantasy alone but you can add these techniques to your masturbation sessions to improve your emotional experience. Using the same scenario every time can get boring or lessen your orgasm over time and it's always fun to try new things. You can even use different role plays. Not everyone will have a full orgasm nor will they cum from it but you can improve your orgasm with practice. So have fun experimenting and enjoy thinking yourself off
I read about this a couple of weeks ago and tried to do it as a exercise a few times a week. But no matter how long I tried I could only just bring myself to the edge but never over it. So frustrating. I envy anyone who can do it
I can only go as far as precum with this method. I still enjoy the setting my own scenario part. It's better than porn because I get to make every detail perfect for myself. Porn only gives me ideas.
I can't do this myself, but I have observed a couple of girls think themselves off while sun baking on a public beach, and have observed several women thinking themselves off while pretending to sleep on planes.
It is a lot easier for women, since the female orgasm is pretty much purely mental. For men the orgasm and ejaculation are psychologically connected and that makes it a lot more difficult.
I have in the past. Although I was listening to "hands free orgasm" hypnosis audios on Youtube. I've never done that without the hypnosis audios though. It is awesome when it occurs.
Maybe with help. Like over the phone or Skype but otherwise...
I've tried it yet I feel I have to touch myself. Practice makes perfect
I can't even orgasm on a wet dream, but bet I'll try
Tried a lot with a good friend. Have been laughing half of the night but never came in the neighbourhood of an orgasm.
sounds very improbable to me, unless you have a low orgasm threshold... besides, I'm still trying to master lucid dreaming...
Not everyone can but it is possible for some people and most of them are women Now that you mention it I do have a low orgasm threshold because I'm very sensitive. People always sneak up behind me to tickle me because I'm so sensitive I jump and spasm I can lucid dream. I don't do it much anymore but I used to
Sorry doesn't work for me. I need the physical touching.
This is a very woman idea: terrible and poorly deigned.
It's actually fantastic and there's nothing poor about it. I feel fulfilled after thinking myself. I can't even orgasm from masturbation and don't like it
I usually fantasize while I masturbate and it helps, but I can’t think myself off.
Well Thank you. Especially number 3
Lol yes it is. Half of women can do it. You only think like that because you're a guy and most guys can't. And you probably have a boring imagination
Do you think you'd orgasm if I read you a bedtime story? I have a seductive voice
My ex's deep voice turned me on so maybe. I've never tried it but I'd give it a go. But I couldn't do it with a stranger and he'd have to be my boyfriend
I tried that. It doesn't work for me
I've tried this but I always end up touching
This has proven to be false. Doesn't work.
Yea I don't think that would work for me
@Layinglow123 Yep cause nerve endings directly stimulate arousal areas of the brain.
lol wow I honestly didn't know that
Lol don't get jealous. I think myself off everyday. I can't orgasm from masturbation at all. But when I fantasize my whole body orgasms and I cum and my vagina contracts multiple times. So it has actually been proven to be possible
Just cos we can't do it doesn't mean it's fake
The irony here smh You have no imagination. It's possible for some people to think themselves off. Most of them are women. Just because most people can't do it doesn't make it impossible
Yet when hooked up to PET it's found that they don't have the same type of response from arousal centers of the brain. It is impossible to stimulate those parts of your brain just by thinking about it because that's not how we are wired. So great, you're imagining getting off does it for you. Stop trying to sell bullshit to the rest of us.
If you can prove with verifiable science that this not the case and you can indeed experience a hands free orgasm then I'll redact my argument. Otherwise stfu.
You don't have an argument because you're wrong. I imagine the fantasy but the orgasm is real. It is possible to orgasm from thought alone just not for everyone What are you trying to get out of this troll? You're not going to prevent me from thinking myself off like I do everyday
@ Harry, what is a wet dream then? as i dont touch myself then lol
@Markm3212 This is a very good point!
Impossible for me to reach lol I can't orgasm even when touching myself



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