How To Orgasm On Antidepressants
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How To Orgasm On Antidepressants
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Josey Allen is a senior attending The New School in New York City for Journalism and Design with a minor in Spanish. Her writing has focused on sex education and sex positivity in the past and she is planning on pursuing a sex education certification. Check out her Instagram @joseyallen to stay updated with her writing and adventures in the city.
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Antidepressants can be a lifeline for many people. They become something that people must take to lead normal, happy lives. There are many great advantages to these and if they are a necessity for you, you should by all means take them if you have a prescription.
But there are a few frustrating side effects that come with taking antidepressants, and a common one for a lot of people is the lack of libido or the inability to orgasm. It seems like people are faced with having to choose between having a happy, normal life in general or having a fulfilling, normal sex life. This dilemma can be enough for people to stop taking antidepressants, or to use them in a way that they aren’t intended. This is an issue for tons of people who have chosen to take antidepressants. It is a problem that can often be overlooked and written off as an issue that should be dealt with in order to treat the depression. Huffpost wrote about how many women have to choose between a healthy sex life and a good mental health here . This is not a new issue but it is a serious and frustrating one. I have heard of female friends who have stopped taking their Lexapro a few days before a sexual encounter, in order to be able to orgasm. This is a dangerous solution, because stopping antidepressants without help from a psychiatrist can have some serious side effects including suicidal thoughts, flu-like symptoms, dizziness, dissociation, and a setback in treatment.
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are one of the most common antidepressants prescribed and one of the most likely to cause a change in libido or the inability to reach orgasm — a condition called anorgasmia. This can obviously interfere with a person’s sex life and romantic relationships. I spoke to Alessandra Velez, a medical student at Baruch College in her seventh and final year, about the sexual side effects of antidepressants. In addition, she works for the Echo Free Clinic in The Bronx as a Pre-Health Interpreter. The clinic provides an array of services including free sexual health care, so she regularly deals with patients suffering from sexual dysfunction.
“Different types are more likely to cause anorgasmia or lack sensation. It is not an extremely common side effect so if you have that problem with one antidepressant you may be able to switch to another one, like an norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitors (NDRI), with the help of your doctor, and you most likely won’t have the sexual side effects,” said Velez.
“Another issue with the sexual side effects, it’s sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy,” Velez continued. “Meaning, if someone is worried about a sexual side effect, it can become psychosomatic, where you’re in your own head too much and can’t focus. For anxious personality types, researching side effects ahead of time (before starting on medication) is not a good idea, because a lot of times people will become really concerned with a certain side effect happening and they’ll manifest the side effect accidentally.”
Orgasms are not solely about the stimulation of sexual organs; a person’s mental state can affect their ability to orgasm. If they aren’t comfortable, relaxed, or are preoccupied by the fear of not finishing, it’ll most likely affect them negatively.
If you are suffering from anorgasmia or a lack of libido, there are a few things that can be done according to Velez. To begin, waiting it out ( though it can be annoying) is your best option. If you consistently take your medication for a couple of months, your body is most likely going to adjust to the increase of serotonin and you’ll be able to orgasm normally again. It may be beneficial to lower the dosage of medication you are on, so talk to your doctor about what is best for you.
In addition to waiting, you can do a few things to help yourself relax and become more comfortable in your situation. If you are not fully comfortable with your partner, your sex life will not be ideal. Open up a dialogue about sex and knowing what you like. Also, get to know your own body and masturbate on your own, so you can be fully aware of what you like. Healthy communication, without shame, can make you much more comfortable with your partner and yourself.
Another thing to keep in mind is that alcohol and drugs can make it difficult to orgasm, so it may be best to lay off drinking or using drugs for a while; they don’t often interact well with antidepressants, anyway. If symptoms last more than a couple of months, you can talk to your doctor about switching to a different medication with less effect on libido and see what’s best for you.
Most of all, don’t be afraid to bring your sex life up to a qualified psychiatrist, because a fulfilling sex life can have a positive affect on your mental and physical health.
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When Antidepressants Make It Impossible to Orgasm
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Please see a doctor before starting or stopping a medication.
intense or paroxysmal excitement; especially: the rapid pleasurable release of neuromuscular tensions at the height of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female
Honestly, they couldn’t make it sound less sexy if they tried. Do lexicographers actually have sex? The urban dictionary says :
The meaning of life. And… That awesome feeling between sex and having to go pee. Good sex leads to a good orgasm which makes you wanna go pee.
Clearly there are things this old duck still needs to learn. And apparently female orgasm is:
Often dismissed as a myth, much like the unicorn or healthy fast food, the female orgasm does in fact exist. It just takes a little skill and effort to make this elusive event appear, but most men (or women) just can’t put forth the effort.
Female orgasm = real
Three Toed Platypi = Myth
Mystery, ignorance and a shroud of secrecy still accompanies many societal expectations of sex – a fundamental biological need in the animal kingdom. While sex without orgasm happens all the time, there’s an expectation frequently put on ourselves – or partners – that climax is essential. Which is why so many women fake it. If you ask the next woman you bump into about orgasm, a lively conversation may very well ensue.
From my own conversations with friends (and strangers) I’ve learned a lot of us are over sex, while others yearn for the deep emotional connection sexual encounters can offer. Not to mention the “intense or paroxysmal excitement” if you’re fortunate enough to have an orgasm. But I believe as we get older, the emotional connection is vastly more important for a lot of us, and it isn’t dependent on the final orgasmic hooray.
There are lots of reasons women – and men – might experience anorgasmia . I’m only going to talk about one – because it’s the one that affects me. Medication. Specifically, SNRI antidepressant medication.
All medication has an effect – that’s why we prefer prescriptions to placebos. Side effects are unwanted consequences of medication and when we treat conditions pharmacologically, we often weigh the pros and cons of our options. I’ve been on my current antidepressant two years. At the lowest dose I struggled with orgasm, and at my current dose it is an impossibility.
[Before I go any further, I want to definitively state this has nothing to do with “technique” and isn’t about good or bad sex. It’s categorically a side effect of medication.]
I won’t bamboozle anyone with how and why medications cause this particular effect, but it’s well researched and documented. Trust me . Orgasm has become a physical impossibility. My body doesn’t have the capacity to transmit the appropriate messages at the appropriate time and no amount of effort will get me over the line.
So is sex worth bothering about? If I was single, I wouldn’t care. Without the big finale I can’t be bothered. But I’m not single. I’ve been married 25 years and there are two of us in this relationship. Sex is an important part of intimacy between couples, but what constitutes healthy and normal varies for all of us.
Currently, my husband and I have mismatched desires. Or to articulate that more clearly – he desires sex and I don’t. I recognize it’s an important part of our relationship, so we set the time aside anyway. Regardless of sexual dysfunction, plenty of men and women have limited or non-existent libido. There are also loads of people who never orgasm during sex, but can move the earth, moon and stars all by themselves. And they still enjoy sex despite the absence of a finale. I know this, because I’ve asked around. A lot. The frustration with anorgasmia, is climbing to the heady heights of swanky swirling and never dissolving into la petite mort. There’s no sating of the desire. And as my sex kitten days are now more like sex slug, finding desire is a monumental effort.
[To be perfectly honest, I’ve never been a sex kitten… Maybe a sex panda once upon a time.]
The mismatched sexual desires and detonations in our marriage means I need to weigh the pros and cons of an antidepressant versus my husband’s desires. We both agree my sanity is more important than firing my rockets. We could choose not to indulge in afternoon delights at all, but we also agree sex offers important intimacy for both of us. I have of course discussed this with medical professionals who look across their desks at me very sympathetically, then reassuringly say it’s common and might get better with time.
For now, doing the deed remains an important part of our relationship, and we both accept I won’t be left quivering with the after delights of a raucous tsunami. Perhaps one day I’ll once again dip my toes into those tantalising waters, but sex is about so much more than a shuddering conclusion. For us, it’s about mutual respect and intimacy – not just oscillating the unmentionables.
[Thanks to Thought Catalog for all the entertaining euphemisms. I’m sure the journalist in charge had a “schnoodlypoopingtime” with that article.]
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Crazy hair, solitude seeker, at peace in the natural world. After a series of crises led to an emotional breakdown and multiple psychiatric admissions I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, PTSD, depression and anxiety, and I have a long-standing eating disorder. I have a passionate interest in mental health and now share my story in the hope it may benefit someone else. I dedicated over three decades of my life as a professional flautist and teacher. In 2008 I completed a Master’s in Journalism, specialising in editing, and continue to hone my skills as a writer. My first book, "Stalked by Demons, Guarded by Angels: The Girl with the Eating Disorder" is now available with all online retailers! With 29 years of marriage under my belt, I successfully raised three and a half young men and a chocolate-brown Burmese cat. A mean feat never to be underestimated.
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Make an appointment with your doctor to discuss your concerns. Before you make any changes to your medication routine, have a talk with your doctor or psychiatrist. They can inform you about your options and recommend safe ways to adjust your dosage, if needed.
It can be difficult to open up to your doctor or psychiatrist about sexual side effects. Remember that you aren’t alone—many other people taking antidepressants deal with these same problems. Your doctor is there to help you in any way they can. [1]
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Find out if your medication is likely to be affecting your libido. While decreased sex drive or other sexual problems can be a side effect of many types of antidepressants, they can also be a complication of the depression itself. Some antidepressants are also more likely than others to interfere with your sex drive. Ask your doctor or psychiatrist how likely it is that your medication is causing your symptoms. The types of antidepressants most likely to cause sexual side effects include: [2]
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Certain SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), such as Prozac (fluoxetine), Paxil (paroxetine), Luvox (fluvoxamine), Celexa (citalopram), or Zoloft (sertraline).
Some tricyclic antidepressants, such as Tofranil (imipramine), and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), such as Nardil (phenelzine).
Some types of antipsychotics, such as Haldol (haloperidol), Mellaril (thioridazine), or Risperdal (risperidone).
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Ask about lowering your dosage. Decreasing your dosage can not only reduce your side effects, but it may also help you determine whether your low libido is actually caused by your medication. Talk to your doctor or psychiatrist about trying a lower dose of your medication to see if your libido increases. [3]
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If you are taking an SSRI and experiencing sexual side effects, your doctor may recommend reducing your dose by half. Many people find that reducing their dose by half eliminates their side effects while still giving them antidepressant benefits.
Before reducing your dose, your doctor may recommend waiting a few weeks to see if your side effects diminish or disappear. Sometimes it simply takes time for your body to adjust to the medication. [4]
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Discuss taking a "medication holiday". Some people find that their sexual side effects improve if they take occasional brief breaks (1 to 2 days) from their medication. This approach is more effective with some types of antidepressants than others, so ask your doctor if taking "holidays" from your antidepressant is likely to help you. [5]
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This technique may work with some SSRIs, such as Zoloft (sertraline) or Paxil (paroxetine), but be ineffective with others, such as Prozac (fluoxetine).
Ask your doctor how often and for how long you can safely take breaks from your medication.
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Discuss raising your dose if your medication increases sex drive. While many types of antidepressants can cause sexual dysfunction, some may actually increase your sex drive. [6]
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