How To Not Cum
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How To Not Cum
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Dr Roger Henderson
Dr Roger Henderson is a Senior GP, national medical columnist and UK medical director for LIVA Healthcare
He appears regularly on television and radio and has written multiple books.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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Everything you need to know about semen retention; what is it, what are the benefits, and how is it done?
Semen retention is the practice of avoiding ejaculation . It is an idea that has been around for thousands of years, and is part of some ancient practices.
Semen retention, also sometimes called ‘sexual continence’ or ‘coitus reservatus’, can be a part of other practices, such as tantric sex , the study of Tao, and karezza. In recent years, semen retention has seen a growth in popularity for various reasons.
GP Dr Roger Henderson looks at the purported benefits of semen retention, the evidence behind it, and how to practise semen retention yourself.
Semen retention is the sexual practise of avoiding ejaculation.
Of course, this can be done by abstaining from sexual activity altogether. However, some people who practise semen retention learn to orgasm without ejaculating, also known as dry orgasm .
People who practice semen retention have their own personal reasons for doing so, ranging from emotional to physical to spiritual.
For some, the self-control required for semen retention gives them a purpose to their lives; for others, it can be part of a sexual relationship where submission and domination can play a part; while others simply believe it improves their physical well-being and emotional health. Whatever the chosen reason for practising semen retention, that person believes there is a perceived benefit to some part of their life whether mental, spiritual or physical.
There is no evidence that semen retention causes any physical or emotional risks, and it can be practiced either in the short or long-term.
People who practice semen retention believe there can be benefits in a number of areas:
It is believed that semen retention causes greater day-to-day energy and vitality, with better physical fitness, general wellness and muscle strength as well as improved sperm quality and fertility.
Overall cognitive function and clarity of thinking are said to occur, along with reduced anxiety and depression , more self-control, personal confidence and self-esteem .
There is a view that semen retention can improve the ‘life force’ of an individual as well as strengthening personal relationships if your partner understands the reasons why it is being followed.
This does not mean that benefits may not occur as a consequence of practising semen retention, rather that more long-term controlled studies are needed to verify any health claims that are made.
Followers of non-ejaculation point to some published studies they believe prove the benefits but these are all either small studies or have not been repeated.
Whatever benefits may or may not arise, the good news is that it will do no harm.
A small study in 2001 found that men who did not masturbate for almost a month had elevated levels of testosterone. A 2003 study also reported a link between abstinence and raised levels of this male hormone. One small animal study also found that frequent masturbation lowered the level of brain androgen receptors that help process testosterone in the body.
More recently, however, a 2018 systemic review found that a short period of abstinence (as little as 24 hours) was linked to an improvement in sperm motility compared to longer periods of abstinence.
The simplest way to practice semen retention is to avoid sexual activity or masturbation completely, and for some people this is acceptable.
For many others, however, practicing non-ejaculatory sex or masturbation is the preferable option, and this takes a lot of practice and discipline.
The key here is to be able to flex your pelvic muscles very strongly just before you would normally ejaculate, and by doing so, prevent orgasm.
To build these muscles up, contract them regularly (to know where they are, if you stop urinating midstream these are the muscles you are using) for sets of 10, holding and relaxing them for several seconds each time, at least three times each day.
When having sex, concentrate on these muscles and relax all others such as in the buttocks, legs, jaw and arms. If orgasm approaches, hold perfectly still to calm your body and contract your pelvic floor, putting all your attention on your partner. Pressing your perineum between the anus and the scrotum with a finger can also help. This takes time and practice, so do not worry if you still keep having orgasms whilst learning.
If masturbating, when you start to feel an orgasm building up squeeze the end of the penis and keep squeezing hard until the urge to ejaculate passes and at the same time flex the pelvic muscles hard. This can be repeated as necessary.
Semen retention is a deeply personal issue and should you choose to try it always make sure you know your reasons for doing so, and what benefits you hope to gain from it. If it makes you feel better there is no reason why this cannot be continued for as long as you want, but you can also safely stop at any time.
Medically reviewed by
Dr Roger Henderson and words by Karen Gordon
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Dr Roger Henderson
Dr Roger Henderson is a Senior GP, national medical columnist and UK medical director for LIVA Healthcare
He appears regularly on television and radio and has written multiple books.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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Expert advice on how to stop premature ejaculation and get the best from your sex life.
Just can't stop yourself from coming super-fast during sex? There you are in the throes of passion and suddenly it's all over before it even began. Whoops!
But before you write yourself off as a sexual failure, it's worth knowing that coming quickly is actually very common, and premature ejaculation affects most men at some point during their life. The good news is it's also easily fixed and most men can learn how to delay ejaculation.
Sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight , and psychosexual therapist Krystal Woodbridge offer their expert tips on learning to put the breaks on ejaculation and enjoy a healthy, satisfying (and perfectly timed) sex life:
Premature ejaculation is a very common issue in which sexual intercourse generally lasts less than two minutes before the man reaches orgasm. Coming too quickly is one of the most common sexual anxieties men suffer from, but fortunately there are a number of ways to learn how to last longer - and ensure your sexual partner is satisfied too.
'Most men have no idea that lots of guys ejaculate within two minutes of penetration and plenty more only last four minutes,' explains Knight.
Try these sex tips to last longer in the sack and get the best from your sex life:
There are numerous sexual positions, such as spooning, that can help men last longer. Try lying down side-by-side with the woman in front, and allow the man to enter the woman from behind. Gently rock together until you both reach climax.
'This is an intimate position and it helps him to last longer because the penetration is quite shallow, ensuring he is not overstimulated,' says Knight. 'It also forces you to move slowly and subtly, since he's likely to fall out if he gets too enthusiastic.'
Many men worry about their ability in bed and this can lead to performance anxiety. According to Woodbridge, men often feel like they need to act in a certain way, maintain an erection and take charge of the situation - and for some men this can be intimidating.
'Think about what is causing your anxiety,' says Woodbridge. 'It's important to pinpoint what is it your scared of.' It's also worth communicating this anxiety with your partner before you hit the bedroom. Talking things through can diffuse your anxiety and increase intimacy between you.
'Peaking', the key activity in tantric sex, is an excellent way of improving both male and female sexual performance. 'Men can get better control of arousal by pinpointing their personal point of no return and learning how to stay just below that during sex,' explains Knight.
'They then build-up again to the point of climax and refrain once again,' she adds. 'Doing this regularly allows men to gain better control of their orgasm and last longer in bed. It's also fun to get almost there and rest - making the final orgasm even more explosive.'
Peaking, the key activity in tantric sex, is an excellent way of improving both male and female sexual performance.
You can both practise 'peaking' together - each almost reaching the point of no return together before resting. The dream scenario is that you both eventually climax together in a simultaneous orgasm! If this doesn't happen overnight, don't stress. Practising is half the fun, so enjoy experimenting together.
Desensitising creams and sprays temporarily relieve premature ejaculation. They cause a temporary local numbness, which delays ejaculation and allows for a longer-lasting sexual encounter.
'These are now quite effective and inexpensive,' says Knight. 'Lovehoney do an excellent delay lubricant , which helps to desensitise the penis and helps him last longer.'
As well as all the other benefits of condoms , they can also help delay ejaculation by adding another layer of friction.
'Even with the thinnest condom, the sensation is reduced a little and this allows men to last a little longer,' says Knight. 'Please remember that even with the very best brands, the thinner the condom, the more likely it is to tear, so be careful and check the condom mid-sex if you are worried that it might have ripped.'
Masturbation can work both for and against you with premature ejaculation so experiment and see what works best for you. 'Do it just before a sex session and you'll last longer with your partner if you have sex a few hours later,' says Knight. 'The chances are your orgasm second time around won't be quite as intense.'
A lot of young men worry about dating someone new and don't want to have the embarrassment of coming too quickly.
'If you're really worried and don't feel like you can trust that person to understand, question if you want to have sex with them in the first place,' says Woodbridge. 'If you aren't comfortable enough to have the conversation, maybe you aren't comfortable enough to be intimate with them.'
Sex doesn't always have to equal penetration, so switch the focus to more female-friendly foreplay and spend time pleasuring her.
'Lots of women want that any way,' says Woodbridge. 'You can focus on other ways of being intimate with someone - there's no rule to say they have to have penetrative sex.'
Sex toys have come a long way and now there really is something for everyone, so don't be afraid to experiment and enjoy yourself.
'Love rings are the most popular couples' sex toys in the world,' says Knight. 'They are worn around the penis during lovemaking - allowing him to last longer by restricting the blood flow at the base of the penis and also providing added stimulation for her through the ring rubbing against the clitoris.'
To spice things up further, vibrating love rings are very popular and provide added stimulation.
'A good basic silicone ring can be bought for as little as a tenner,' she adds. 'If you want to spice things up further, vibrating love rings are very popular and provide added stimulation during lovemaking.'
Viagra should not be the only solution because it isn't really practical and doesn't address the underlying issue, but it can help in the short-term.
'Some people find Viagra really helpful because it can help them get over that initial worry of being with a new partner - and it may be what's needed to give them a boost,' says Knight. 'But it's still important to treat the underlying cause, and not just the symptoms.'
For additional help and support with any sexual concern, try one of the following resources:
❤️ NHS.UK : to check for any medical issues or be referred to a therapist, visit you local GP or local sexual health centre.
💛 College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists : find therapists that are able to work with any relationship or sexual issues on this directory.
💚 Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity : if you feel you are affected by sexual compulsivity, try the ATSAC.
💙 Sexual Advice Association : A charity which aims to help improve the sexual health and wellbeing of men and women.
💜 The Institute of Psychosexual Medicine : The IPM is a registered charity which provides education, training and research in psychosexual medicine.
Illustration : Chelsea Beck ( GMG )
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Men have long bemoaned the idea that women can have multiple orgasms, but men can’t. Men, after all, have to deal with the frustrating refractory period—after an orgasm, their penises stay limp no matter how much they try to coax them into action. Their energy levels are depleted, anyway, and they often just want to sleep.
But men actually can have multiple orgasms—as long as they separate their orgasm from the physiological experience of ejaculation. Here’s how to learn how to orgasm without ejaculation.
Orgasm and ejaculation often occur in tandem for men, which leads a lot of men to thinking they’re the same process. But they’re not. It is possible to separate the experience of orgasming from the experience of ejaculating.
Learning how to separate orgasm from ejaculation takes a lot of effort, determination, time, and practice. It’s not something you’re going to learn overnight. For some men, it may not be worth it. You may also find that focusing so heavily on trying to orgasm in a very specific way takes the fun out of orgasm. But fortunately, many of the techniques you need to use to learn how to have an orgasm separate from ejaculation are techniques that are beneficial in and of themselves.
A lot of people get squirrely about touching the testicles because they’re afraid of hurting the…
Adjustable weight This set of weights comes in 1.25kg(2.75lb), 1.5kg(3.3lb) and 2kg(4.4lb) sizes - four of each weight. It can be assembled into two single dumbbells or a barbell through connecting rods. Multi-functional strength training equipment offers a better training way than any other exercise machine.
Your PC muscles need to be in good condition to help you separate orgasm from ejaculation. Your PC muscles are one of the primary ways you’ll control your orgasm.
If you’ve never exercised your PC muscles before, the first step is finding them. The next time you’re urinating, try to cut off your flow of urine before your bladder is empty. The muscles you’ll need to use to do that are your PC muscles. It will feel like a vague “pulling up” feeling.
The basis of a PC exercise is squeezing, releasing, and gently bearing down on those muscles. You want to make sure you’re not flexing your ab, butt or thigh muscles. Just the PC muscles.
The basic routine that I teach is to practice short pulses and long holds. For the short pulses, you simply squeeze and release over and over in quick succession. 20 in a row is a good number to shoot for. For the longer holds, you slowly squeeze, hold at the top of the squeeze, and slowly release. You want to feel as much control as possible on squeeze and on the release. Over time, practice increasing your hold time up to 10 seconds.
Faking orgasms doesn’t do anyone any favors. It doesn’t feel satisfying for you; if anything, it…
Your breath plays a surprisingly big role in your orgasm. When you get closer to orgasm (or when you’re filled with anxiety that you’re going to orgasm too quickly), you start breathing shallowly and rapidly. This breath can actually push you over the edge into orgasm.
If you want to learn greater control of your orgasm, you have to focus on improving your breath. Most people breathe shallowly in and out of the tops of their chest. Instead, try to direct your breath downward. Some people call this “belly breathing” or “diaphragm breathing.” You want to envision your entire torso expanding and contracting with each breath. You also want to try to slow down your breath. Try counting to seven on the inhale, holding for five, then counting to seven on the exhale.
The next step to developing more control over your orgasms is to increase the amount of time you masturbate for. If you’ve ever read one of my articles about male masturbation , you’ve heard me say that you should aim to create the same patterns in your masturbation as you want to have in your partnered sex life. If your masturbation sessions are two minutes tops, you’re going to have a hard time lasting much longer than that during partnered sex.
Aim to masturbate for about 20-30 minutes every day or every other day. Don’t watch porn when you masturbate. (I wasn’t joking when I said this was work!) You need to be able to focus on the sensation in your body while you masturbate, and porn is often too big of a distraction.
Breasts can be pleasurable to play with for the one doing the playing and the breast-haver alike.…
The trick to separating orgasm from ejaculation is to use your PC muscles to stop yourself from ejaculation right when you’re on the brink. As you masturbate, when you feel yourself getting cl
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