How To Make A Women Cum

How To Make A Women Cum




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How To Make A Women Cum
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The 10-step guide to mastering the art of female pleasure
Hoping to impress a new partner, spice up your sex life, or simply bank some useful tips for the future? Irrespective of your relationship status, if you’re a man and you like having sex with women, then at some point in your life you will no doubt have asked the question, how do you make a girl cum?
Spoiler alert! Before we get started, we need to bust a few myths. While you can technically ‘help’ a woman reach climax, it is not your sole responsibility to make her cum, so don’t feel like you have to head into battle armed with all of the secrets to the sexual universe to hit the jackpot.
Partnered sex is a two-way street and you’re in this together, so you need to work as a unit to both reach a mutually pleasurable destination. With this in mind we've put together a few tips on mastering the art of female pleasure...
According to research the average time it takes a woman to reach orgasm is 13.41 minutes, so in theory 15 minutes is an achievable goal. But if your partner takes longer to climax during sex – or doesn't cum at all – do not be dismayed. Self-esteem, performance anxiety, fatigue and stress are just some of the lifestyle factors that can impact a woman’s ability to orgasm. There's no one size fits all approach to sex tips and every woman is different, so focus on the journey and not the destination. Provided you’re both having fun, you won’t notice the clock anyway.
Some women find sex toys such as clitoral vibrators can help them to climax, while others don't like the idea on principle. Once you've established if she is keen to give gadgets a whirl, go sex toy shopping. There are many different types, so choosing one together could be a fun part of the foreplay. We’ve rounded up our favourites below to give you a head start.
While everyone loves a fumble in the dark, sex doesn’t need to be a guessing game. Give yourself a head start and ask her to tell you, or even better, show you, how she likes to be touched. If you can learn to communicate your desires it will make the entire process much easier, not to mention sexier. Every woman has different turn-ons. Some prefer direct clitoral stimulation, while others might like G-spot play or using a sex toy to climax (we highly recommend this clit stimulator ). The best way to find out what turns your girl on is to talk about it!
Leave any preconceptions about sex you’ve picked up from watching RedTube at the door. While porn might turn YOU on, it is rarely designed with female pleasure in mind. In reality women are complex, nuanced individuals and no two people are the same, so resist the urge to suggest a gang-bang and focus on enjoying the moment.
While there are no hard and fast rules about who goes first, when you’re first getting started it makes sense to focus on your partner’s pleasure first. Women tend to take slightly longer to hit the high notes, whereas chaps can achieve this quicker, so it’s an efficient use of time, plus it’s polite. But if you do get overexcited and blow your load , don’t stress. Simply start again, with her pleasure at the forefront of your mind.
Most women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. If you need a heads up, here's how to find her clit.
What works for one woman might be uncomfortable for another, so while these steps may well help your partner to climax, don't forget to check in with her. Use our tips as a guideline to work with your partner to create a safe and sensual space where arousal (and orgasms) ebb and flow.
Fantasy, anticipation and expectation are all part of the process, so take your time. ‘Foreplay is so important as it gets you in the mood in general and ensures you’re connected, but it also leads to maximum arousal for both parties,’ says Julia Margo, Co-founder at Hot Octopuss .
Start with a kiss! Studies by Lafayette College in the US found that kissing reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, quickening the time it takes to turn you both on. As you pay lip service, tilt your head to the right – scientists in Germany found this makes you seem more caring, flooding her system with the ‘connection’ chemical oxytocin, building trust and encouraging her to relax.
After a few minutes of passionate kissing, move your lips down to her neck. William Cane, author of The Art of Kissing , surveyed 50,000 women and 96 per cent picked a peck on the neck as the perfect warm-up, so kiss and nibble her neck for a few minutes. But don’t overdo it, Cane says. ‘Slide off the lips to her neck occasionally so that her neck doesn’t become desensitised.’
Now you need to get co-ordinated. Each time you go in for a kiss, remove an item of her clothing too. Getting naked is important for obvious reasons, but showing enthusiasm at the sight of her body will also boost her self-esteem. A study by the University of Cincinnati revealed that if your girl feels good when she’s naked, she’s more likely to climax. Try complimenting each part of her body as you undress her. Your approval will make her feel good and get you one step closer to the goal.
When she’s down to her underwear, pause for a few seconds. ‘Stroke and caress her through the fabric rather than going for gold,’ says sex therapist Paula Hall. ‘Focus on building anticipation rather than going straight for direct stimulation.’ Feeling like we’re in a rush can actually slow things down and impede a woman’s chances of reaching orgasm , so take your time and tantalise her for a few moments longer.
‘When the vulva is aroused or stimulated it produces a natural lubricant, and the clitoris actually becomes engorged as blood flows to it,’ explains Margo. But if the juices aren’t flowing, don’t stress. Some women take a little longer to get going, so it’s worth keeping a bottle of lube close at hand. Research carried out by the US Association for Chemical Reception Sciences found that the aroma of strawberries alerts the senses, so squeeze a few pumps of strawberry-scented lube onto your fingers before slipping them gently into her knickers for some fruity fun.
Now it’s time to get the party started. ‘Try inserting one finger into her vagina while pressing your thumb against her clitoris,’ says Margo. ‘Rub both finger and thumb firmly but gently in a circular motion. If that feels tricky, try a clitoral vibrator . Hold it against her clitoris with one hand and with the other, gently thrust two fingers in and out of her vagina.’ But remember to keep checking in with her. Some women aren't that keen on penetrative sex toys, and you won't know this unless you ask.
According to sexologists at the Masters & Johnson Institute, cunnilingus is the most reliable route to orgasm for 80 per cent of women, so now that she’s turned on, get down there and lick it good. For best results, ‘run your tongue over the clitoral hood and the sides of the clitoris - taking note of your partner's responses,’ says Margo.
When you start doing something that creates a positive response, keep doing it, at exactly the same speed and pressure, and resist the urge to try anything new. ‘Some women hate too much chopping and changing of techniques,’ says Dr Joni Frater, co-author of Love Her Right: The Married Man's Guide to Lesbian Secrets for Great Sex. ‘It distracts us and takes our arousal back to the starting blocks.’
If things are slow to progress, try being more animated. Make appreciative noises and cup her bum while you suck and lick her clitoris. When you start to feel her pre-orgasmic contractions (often coupled with gasps of pleasure) you’ll know you’re in the right place.
‘Build up the tempo, focusing on the bud of the clitoris until your partner explodes!’ says Margo. ‘Alternatively, you can use a clitoral sex toy,’ she adds. ‘A finger vibe is perfect as you can easily rest your hand on her vulva and let the toy buzz her to orgasm.’
And if she still doesn't climax? That's OK. Cuddle her, stroke her, talk to her and count your lucky stars you got the chance to get naked with her in the first place.


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If you relied on Hollywood as your guide to sexual pleasure , you'd think that the typical woman only needed to rock the sheets for 8 seconds before finding herself on the brink of an earth-shattering orgasm .


But in the real world, this usually isn't the way it goes. And the results of one study back up the fact that not only do most women need some level of hands-on touching to hit climax during intercourse, the type of touch—the rhythm, motion, and pressure—varies widely.


The study, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy , surveyed over 1,000 women between ages 18 and 94. Participants were asked how much touching they needed to reach orgasm and what exact strokes produced the most pleasure, among other questions.


One major finding: 37% of women said they need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Another 36% said that having this body part touched isn't necessary for reaching the big O—but it does make the experience that much better.


When it comes to specifics, two-thirds of the women in the study said they preferred up-and-down motions directly on their clitoris, while 52% enjoyed direct circular movements and a third liked direct side-to-side strokes. The majority of women reported preferring light to medium pressure on their vulva , with 11% preferring firm pressure there.


Among the two thirds of women who said they preferred indirect clitoral stimulation, 69% said they enjoyed touching "through the skin above the hood," the study stated. Approximately 29% said they liked it “through both lips pushed together (like a sandwich)." Twenty percent favored indirect touch “through the skin on the right side of [the] clitoris,” and 19.2% chose “through the skin on the left side of [the] clitoris.”


"I hope this study challenges the idea that certain things work for everyone or everyone should have sex a certain way," Debby Herbenick, PhD, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and a co-author of the study, tells Health.


"Forever, data on orgasms during intercourse focused on college women or people in sex therapy," says Herbenick. "But this study was nationally representative and speaks to women of all ages, educations, races, and ethnicities, since it matches the demographics of women in the United States."


While there's no formula for the perfect orgasm, the study shows that some types of touch are more popular than others. And while the researchers make no judgments, Herbenick has one suggestion for women hoping to experience more pleasurable orgasms: maintain an open dialogue with your partner about the type of touch you like.


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Medically reviewed by
Dr Roger Henderson and words by Sarah Berry

The essential orgasm guide for women
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Dr Roger Henderson
Dr Roger Henderson is a Senior GP, national medical columnist and UK medical director for LIVA Healthcare
He appears regularly on television and radio and has written multiple books.


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Does your girlfriend struggle to come? We speak to a sex therapist about helping your female partner get off.
If your partner struggles to come during sex, it can be frustrating (for both of you). Self-esteem, anxiety, exhaustion and stress are just some of the lifestyle factors that can impact a woman’s ability to orgasm.
While it’s perfectly normal to not reach orgasm every single time you have sex, if your partner fails to come at all, it can start to take its toll on your relationship .
But before you despair you’re doing something desperately wrong and your sexual prowess is entirely to blame, lots of women struggle to come, and your partner is not alone. A study of more than 52,000 adults found that 95 per cent of heterosexual men almost always climaxed during sex – compared to just 65 per cent of women.
Which begs the question: why are the men hogging all the orgasms and, more importantly, how can you help the woman in your life up her come-quota and join you in the pleasure circle? Psychosexual and relationship therapist Sarah Berry offers her expert tips on how, why and what to do to help the woman in your life come:
I often hear male clients lamenting that they are bad in bed because their female partners can’t come . While there may be other relationship or sexual issues at work, a lack of orgasm does not reflect on your sexual ability, nor is it your sole responsibility.
Most women at one time or another have found it difficult to climax.
While some women orgasm easier than others, most women at one time or another have found it difficult to climax. Some can only climax alone and some have never had the pleasure. There are many reasons for this. It could be down to any one of the following reasons, or many more profound or mundane interferences:
What I would recommend is that you work with your partner to create a space where both of you feel happy and connected and where arousal can ebb and flow. If their arousal is working up to an orgasm, you can help nurture these feelings.
If you are with a woman who orgasms infrequently or not at all, I would ask them how they feel about it. Maybe she is frustrated, maybe she is fine with it and maybe she does actually orgasm, but it’s a less theatrical affair – not everyone does a full on When Harry Met Sally – style performance. Start by asking her how she feels and you might be surprised to learn it’s nothing to do with you at all.
If she does blame your technique for her lack of orgasm, ask her to tell you, or even better, show you, how she likes to be stimulated. You could have a mutual masturbation session where you touch yourselves in front of each other. While this is can feel very intimate and exposing, it can also reduce pressure and performance anxiety for both of you.
It’s worth noting that if your partner is tense, maybe they’re anxious or angry, then your touch is likely to tickle and not hit the spot, so let her lead the way.
Bearing in mind what works for one person may be uncomfortable for another, here’s some ideas for helping your female partner achieve an orgasm which you might like to try together:
It seems the done thing, in far too many heterosexual couplings, that when the man has come then sex is over, regardless of whether the female partner is done or not. Ignoring whether your partner has also finished is selfish. If she would like it, you could do some hand or mouth stimulation . If you are too spent, you hold her while she masturbates.
Yes quickies can happen. If you are both aroused and your genitals are primed for action then that’s great. But if not, foreplay helps all genitals – including penises that, contrary to popular belief aren’t always ready to go as soon as sex is hinted at – to be ready for sex. Without enough of it, sex can be painful, intrusive or simply just boring. Foreplay can include anything from saucy texts, to hand jobs, to oral, to spanking and anything else that feels playful, sensual or sexual.
Some people find sex toys , particularly vibrators, can help them achieve the big O. Others don’t like them; it could be they don’t like how they feel or they don’t like them on principal. There are many, many different sizes , shapes, colours, materials and types of stimulation available, so if you are thinking of getting one, I strongly recommend consulting with your partner.
Many women say that receiving cunnilingus is the most surefire way to get them coming. If you do both want to do this, but you’re not sure what to do, experiment until she starts making appreciative noises or writhing around. Some women prefer a tongue lapping consistently at the clitoris while others like the whole vulva to be slathered over, like you would an ice cream on a really hot day.
I’ve found that there are three main reasons why some women find receiving oral sex a bit uncomfortable:
• The first is that it can feel disconnecting: you’re down there being busy, while they’re up there not feeling in the moment and worrying about you, work, or that stain on the ceiling.
• The second is the fear that it is taking too long; indeed vaginas do generally take longer to get excited than penises.
• And thirdly, many women fear that their vulvas and vaginas don’t loo
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