How To Know If You Orgasm
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How To Know If You Orgasm
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Key points
Depending on the study, one-third to two-thirds of women say they’ve faked an orgasm at least once.
Many popular sex positions don't provide much stimulation for women’s orgasm trigger: the clitoris.
Three intercourse positions allow men to provide direct clitoral massage quite easily.
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We all harbor secrets. Some are big and bad; some are small and trivial. Researchers have parsed which truths to tell and which not to.
Posted January 31, 2019
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Reviewed by Lybi Ma
“Did you come?” This question looms over a good deal of lovemaking, especially among lovers under 30. Fortunately, gentlemen, it’s usually not difficult to recognize women’s orgasms. And it’s fairly easy to help most women get there. All men need to do is let go of the idea that intercourse is all it takes.
Depending on the study, one-third to two-thirds of women say they’ve faked an orgasm at least once:
Faking is age-related. As age increases, more women become better able to ask for the clitoral caresses that trigger an orgasm, and most men gain insights into the sexual moves that help women climax.
I’d be interested to hear from women about faking it. Have you ever? Why? How did it affect the relationship? And has the relationship endured?
Gentlemen, given the frequency of faking, if you feel the need to ask, chances are she didn’t come. Especially if you make love drunk, rush into intercourse, or don’t provide gentle, extended hand massage of her clitoris and cunnilingus every time.
Most orgasms are actually pretty hard to miss. Women’s resemble men’s. Think about your own and you’ll be better able to identify women’s. The vast majority begin with the quickening of breathing often accompanied by gasps or moans followed by several seconds of rapid, involuntary contractions of the muscles around the vulva and anus, usually with a jerky movement of the hips and often the whole body. Orgasms conclude with release into relaxation and dreamy contentment. If you help her to orgasm orally, your lips and tongue are likely to feel her vaginal muscle contractions.
If you want to see women have orgasms, ignore the vast majority of porn . The women moan, groan, and thrash, seeming to climax, but they don’t. I’ve interviewed several female porn actors. All were orgasmic at home during personal lovemaking with their real partners. But none ever came on camera. Not one.
Why? Largely because porn depicts male fantasies of women endlessly servicing men with fellatio and intercourse. Porn contains very little of what actually helps women climax—leisurely, playful, extended kissing, cuddling, and whole-body massage, gentle hand jobs, and lots of gentle cunnilingus. The women actors didn’t get that on the set but did at home.
However, one little corner of the amateur porno-sphere can be instructive. You can watch hundreds of real women have real orgasms using their hands or vibrators by visiting sample-aggregation sites (like PornHub). Among the myriad categories, select Orgasm Compilations.
Only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse. The old in-out doesn’t provide much stimulation for women’s orgasm trigger, the clitoris, which sits an inch or two above the vaginal opening under the top junction of the vaginal lips.
But many couples would like women to come during intercourse. Three intercourse positions allow men to provide direct clitoral massage quite easily. In addition, a slight variation on the man-on-top (missionary) position may also help.
Almost all women can climax solo by hand or vibrator, but with partners, around 30 percent have problems. That’s what the University of Chicago found in a study of 3,299 women age 18 to 85. Fortunately, the overwhelming majority can learn to have orgasms. In the words of sexologist Erwin J. Haeberle, “Orgasm is learned. The teacher is masturbation .” Some suggestions:
Eichel, E.W. et al. “The Technique of Coital Alignment and Its Relation to Female Orgasmic Response and Simultaneous Orgasm,” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (1988) 14:129.
Eichel, E. and P. Noblie. The Perfect Fit. Dutton, NY, 1992.
Fahs, B. “Coming to Power: Women’s Fake Orgasms and Best Orgasm Experiences Illuminate the Failures of (Hetero)sex and the Pleasures of Connection,” Culture, Health, and Sexuality (2014) 16:974.
Heiman, J. and J. LoPiccolo. Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women . Fireside/Simon & Schuster, 1987 (revised edition).
Hurlbert, D.F. and C. Apt. “The Coital Alignment Technique and Directed Masturbation: A Comparative Study of Female Orgasm,” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (1995) 21:21.
Jern, P. et al. “A Longitudinal Assessment of Associations Between Women’s Tendency to Pretend Orgasm, Orgasm Function, and Intercourse-Related Pain in Different Partner Relationship Constellations,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (2018) 47:671.
Kaplan, H.S. “Does the CAT Technique Enhance Female Orgasm?” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (1992) 18:285.
McCoy, M.G. et al. “Development and Initial Psychometric Assessment of the ‘Reasons for Pretending Orgasm’ Inventory,” Evolutionary Psychology (2015) 13:129.
Muehlenhard, C.L and S.K. Shippee. “Men’s and Women’s Reports of Pretending Orgasm,” Journal of Sex Research (2010) 47:552.
Pierce, A.P. “The Coital Alignment Technique 9(AT): An Overview of Studies,” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (2000) 26:257.
Michael Castleman, M.A. , is a San Francisco-based journalist. He has written about sexuality for 36 years.
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We all harbor secrets. Some are big and bad; some are small and trivial. Researchers have parsed which truths to tell and which not to.
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Like most women, around 10-15% , if you’ve never experienced an orgasm before and are wondering what just happened, then, this article is mainly for you. It can be slightly challenging to identify whether or not you had an orgasm, especially if you’ve never had one. Therefore, written below are answers to some common questions that you may have about getting orgasm as a woman.
Simply put, an orgasm is an enhanced pleasurable sexual arousal/stimulation that results in physical and psychological changes in the body. However, the goal of sex may not always be to have an orgasm; instead, it can just be about pleasure!
^Image Caption: Many men finish sex sooner than they would like because of which their partner have trouble having orgasm and if you are someone who is having trouble lasting longer in bed , then Schedule a FREE Doctor Consult Online with our Sexologist to find out how you can treat it .
Also, it’s important that we address the elephant in the room— pleasure and orgasm aren’t the same. Just because sex gives you pleasure, doesn’t mean that it will give you orgasm too. However, if you get orgasm(s), then definitely you are deriving immense pleasure too.
So, let’s read on to find out how to know if a girl had an orgasm , and also, w oman climax signs and symptoms .
For someone with a clitoris, medically speaking, an orgasm may or may not always be like “fireworks” as commonly described. It could simply be a subtle increase in tension, after which there is a sudden release. A reaction during sex that results in a relaxed feeling qualifies as an orgasm. Nevertheless, here are a few signs to look out for:
Usually, after an orgasm, you tend to release a range of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin. As a result, you feel truckloads of happiness, emotional releases, a sense of euphoria, empathy, closeness to your partner, peace and satisfaction.
YES , it is absolutely okay if you don’t have a dramatic or loud reaction during an orgasm! Different individuals have different reactions to an orgasm. While some may squeal, yell, scream, a few may cry or even laugh, others may not have a very noisy reaction. There is no right or wrong way to get an orgasm! The reactions shown in books, movies, songs etc, are highly generalised and are choreographed. However, that is not always the case. Always remember, fantasy, reel and real are all different and it’s important that you rely on facts and understand your body better to know if you had an orgasm.
^Image Caption: Makes sex with your partner more fun by using this Intimate Lube as it increases the pleasure during sex by reducing friction, and it also helps reduces the chance of risk of injury during sex .
Biologically, an orgasm can be encouraged by multisensory simulations, stimulations such as genital stimulation, including skin, breasts, mental stimulants. Here’s a fun fact we bet you didn't know: orgasms happen in our brains, not our genitals! Yes, you heard that right. Our skin is our most significant sexual organ, while our brain is the most crucial one. With that being said, the following are some ways to encourage/achieve orgasm faster:
Directly ask your partner, or look out for signals such as heavy breathing, curling of fingers, and any involuntary muscle contractions.
It is important to note that climaxing can be uncomfortable or painful for the first few times. However, that’s normal. Furthermore, orgasms feel different for different people. It can feel different for the same person at various times. Research suggests that people with vulvas can experience a total of 14 different types of orgasms! And, women can experience orgasm(s) up to 20 times in a row. Unbelievable, isn’t it? To end with, keep it ” No shame attached” while communicating with your partner to have a good time!
Did you know something as simple as water can spice up your sex life? We know its usual benefits, but can it improve your sex
Burping or belching is the noisily gas that is released from the mouth through the stomach. It is so annoying and awful and occurs when
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