How To Have Better Sex

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The physical transformations your body undergoes as you age also have a major influence on your sexuality. Declining hormone levels and changes in neurological and circulatory functioning may lead to sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction or vaginal pain.
Such physical changes often mean that the intensity of youthful sex may give way to more subdued responses during middle and later life. But the emotional byproducts of maturity — increased confidence, better communication skills, and lessened inhibitions — can help create a richer, more nuanced, and ultimately satisfying sexual experience. However, many people fail to realize the full potential of later-life sex. By understanding the crucial physical and emotional elements that underlie satisfying sex, you can better navigate problems if they arise .
Treating sexual problems is easier now than ever before. Medications and professional sex therapists are there if you need them. But you may be able to resolve minor sexual issues by making a few adjustments in your lovemaking style. Here are some things you can try at home.

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No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.

The physical transformations the body undergoes with age have a major influence on sexuality. This Special Health Report, Sexuality in Midlife and Beyond , will take you through the stages of sexual response and explain how aging affects each. You’ll also learn how chronic illnesses, common medications, and emotional issues can influence your sexual capabilities. Finally, you’ll find a detailed discussion of various medical treatments, counseling, and self-help techniques to address the most common types of sexual problems.
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You can bottle up your sex-related questions or ask your idiot friends. Or, you can call up doctors and experts for sex advice on their one surefire trick in the bedroom. Listen and learn. (By the way, they go great with these sex positions .)
"If anybody trains you on a sport, they're going to train you first on your breathing. If you begin to work with your breath, just like you would in a yoga class , or if you're running, or doing anything physical where you coordinate your breath and your movement, all of a sudden you create a rhythm... Finding the rhythm of your own breath—not only through sex but all things—is going to improve your life, your endurance, and your ability to remain calm and not anxious."
— Kumi Sawyers, an instructor at Sky Ting Yoga in New York
There are few places where feedback can be more important than in the bedroom . Knowing what's working (or not) can lead to better, more rewarding sex. When done well, dirty talk can drive your partner crazy. When done poorly, it can drive them, well, home. Literally. Successful dirty talk isn't always about the actual words used, but more about connection and intention. This may seem obvious, but if you aren't sure what kind of dirty talk your partner likes or if they like dirty talk at all, ask them!
— From Giulia Rozzi's Guide to Dirty Talk
"I think it's important to cue up the videos in advance, to know what your favorites are, because this process is very drying. If you feel awkward in the moment, be like, 'Yo, I'm feeling hella awkward right now.' Because it can start with you guys making fun of it." And then, debrief on what you liked—and didn't like. That will transfer to the bedroom.
— Shan Boody , sexologist and author
According to not one but 34 sex therapists, the scientifically proven " desirable " length for intercourse is seven to 13 minutes. That's not including foreplay.
"It's been proven that women who feel confident about the appearance of their genitals are more open to different kinds of sexual activity, and are more likely to orgasm because they feel relaxed... When a man goes down on his partner, he should be enthusiastic, tell her how beautiful she is and how great she tastes. Don't treat it like a chore."
—Debra Lynne Herbenick, Ph.D., Indiana University, Kinsey Institute
"There is a degree of manipulation when it comes to the amount of neurotransmitter released... Looking at a nude picture will trigger a quick and strong release of dopamine and possibly oxytocin, but it fades quickly... Let her work for it a little; she'll enjoy the prolonged neurological orgasm more."
— Andrea Kuszewski, Behavior Therapist and Consultant, Boston, Massachusetts
"The only difference between a gigolo and a regular guy is that a gigolo listens to what a woman wants in bed. So, ask. I would also advise that you ask her while not in the bedroom—raise the discussion while out walking or doing some other casual yet intimate thing together."
—Dr. Helen Fisher, Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University
"Arginine is the basis for Viagra, so men should stick with foods high in it—such as oysters, fish, and other lean proteins. Everything that's good for you above the waist is good for you below the waist as well: greens and beans; high protein/low-fat foods; and brightly colored fruits and vegetables, high in antioxidants. The Standard American Diet is ... a detriment to performance."
— Lynn Edlen-Nezin, Ph.D, co-author of Great Food, Great Sex
"There's no proven human pheromone to make you irresistible. So, until one is found, wash well—you can have too much of a good thing. (But why not leave a worn T-shirt at her house? It will keep you always in her mind.)"
— Dr. Tristram Wyatt, Department of Zoology, University of Oxford
"If you're thinking, 'I hope it works! I hope it works!' it's not going to work. Take penetrative sex off the table for a month—do everything but that. Avoid making intercourse the be-all/end all. In most cases, once men stop worrying about it, it starts working. You can definitely stress yourself out of a boner."
— Emily Wentzell, Assistant Professor of Anthropology, University of Iowa
"For women to get aroused, parts of their brains associated with stress and anxiety need to de-activate, according to neurological studies in the Netherlands. If women aren't relaxed, they're not going to enjoy sex. So dim the lights and share a fantasy. A Harvard study found that when you hug a woman longer than 30 seconds, it increases her oxytocin levels and anticipation of sex."
—Ian Kerner, Ph.D, FAACS, author of She Comes First: the Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
"Find out what position of intercourse is most stimulating to her—it's usually woman on top, facing away, also known as the reverse cowgirl. The angle of the penis through the anterior/front wall of the vagina stimulates the area of the G-spot."
— Beverly Whipple, Ph.D, Professor Emerita at Rutgers University and co-author of The Science of Orgasm
"Sensual touching releases a powerful sex hormone called oxytocin, which increases a woman's testosterone levels and ignites her sex drive. The seductive silky feel of oil being rubbed on skin is a turn-on for more passionate sex—for both of you."
—Carol Cassell, Ph.D, former president of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, Western Region

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The Editors of Men's Health
The editors of Men's Health are your personal conduit to the top experts in the world on all things important to men: health, fitness, style, sex, and more.

Jordyn Taylor
Jordyn Taylor is the Executive Digital Editor at Men's Health.

Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.

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We dug up the all-time best sex advice from our archives.
Even if your sex life is already satisfying, it's normal to want to make it even better. Maybe your love life has been in a rut lately, or perhaps you’re already having great sex, but you want to start having even more earth-shattering, mind-blowing sex sessions that end in toe-curling orgasms. Well, you've come to the right place, my friend.
We mined hundreds of Men's Health sex and relationships articles to find the all-time best sex tips we've ever given. These tips come from a range of doctors, therapists, and experts across the United States who specialize in sexual health, pleasure, and intimacy.
Maybe you're looking to boost your erections , strengthen your orgasms , and last longer in bed , or perhaps you're trying to amp up your skills when it comes to pleasing your partner. Maybe you're curious about exploring anal play , want to know which sex toys are best for couples , or like to learn how to bring up your deepest, darkest sexual fantasies with your partner. Perhaps your sex life has grown stale, and you want to dabble in some BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) or are even considering finding a third to play with. Whatever it is, we almost certainly have advice that can help.
So without further ado, here are our 25 best expert-approved tips and techniques for having the best sex of your life. You can thank us later.
When kissing, don't use your tongue like a dart (in and out, in and out). Instead, try varying motions and amounts of pressure. Head here for more tips on how to perfect your kissing technique .
If you want to last longer during sex, you're not alone. " Premature ejaculation is a problem that affects almost every man at some point in his life," Thomas J. Walsh, M.D., a urologist at the University of Washington, told us . One way to delay ejaculation is by doing kegels. Strengthening the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles of the pelvic floor will help you control your orgasms during sex. For tips on how to do 'em—plus other ways to last longer in bed— click here .
Another way to make sex last longer? Train yourself to delay your orgasm while you're masturbating. Edging —the act of bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm and then stopping all sexual stimulation—is a common technique for avoiding premature ejaculation.
We've called the cock ring the "superfood of sex toys" because it's cheap, easy to use, and can benefit your sex life in so many ways. A snug ring that fits around the base of your penis (and sometimes your testicles, too) can strengthen your erection, boost your confidence, and make your orgasms more powerful. Opt for a vibrating option, and it could even help stimulate your partner's clitoris or booty.
All too often, we think of "sex" as being penis in vagina or anus, but frankly, that's such a limiting view of what sex is. Enter mutual masturbation , i.e. masturbating alongside your partner. Not only is is great for when you're too tired to get it on, but you also get to learn how your partner touches themselves. That way, the next time you do have partnered sex, you can touch them exactly how they like!
If you hate the way condoms make you feel during sex, you might not be wearing the right ones, according to sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman . When picking a condom, find one that fits like a glove, and look for rubbers that are ribbed or ultra-thin. Condoms are highly effective at preventing pregnancy and STIs, so it's worth finding the one that feels best for you. For recommendations on what to buy, click here .
The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and rectum, and it contains tons of nerve endings. Stimulating the prostate can feel so good, some sexual health experts have dubbed it the "P-spot" or the "male G-spot." Here are our tips for finding it , plus our recommendations for the best prostate massagers on the market .
"Temperature play is a technique that uses heat or cold to stimulate the skin and provoke a sensual reaction," explains Ashley Cobb, Lovehoney 's Sex Toy Matchmaker. Heat things up in the boudoir by engaging in wax play, or rub an ice cube on your partner's body (nipples are especially sensitive!) to elicit a powerful sensory response.
These butt-centric sex toys can also help stimulate the prostate during partner sex or masturbation, as well as activate those sensitive nerve endings around the opening of the anus. Butt plugs are designed to slide in and stay put—hence the word "plug"—while anal beads can be gradually inserted or pulled out over the course of a sex session. Check out these roundups of our favorite butt plugs and anal beads .
"Lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris," Ellen Friedrichs, M.A., an adjunct professor of human sexuality at Rutgers University, told Men's Health . "But sometimes, no matter how turned on a woman might be psychologically, she can have trouble getting wet."That's where lube comes in. Try squeezing a few drops onto the tip of your penis before you start intercourse.
We'll let you in on a little secret: lots of women love watching porn. According to a Men's Health survey, 75% of women said they were down to watch porn with a partner during foreplay or sex itself. That said, they may not be into the same type of content you're into, so be sure to discuss your tastes beforehand or scope out some softer-core fare. (Director Erika Lust's LustFilms is a great place to start.)
Sex isn't a race. Take time to explore your partner before you get to intercourse. Not only will it build desire, but it'll help you discover what you and your partner do and don't like in bed. "On its own, sex is pretty mechanical," psychologist and relationship therapist Tracy Thomas, Ph.D., told Men's Health. "Foreplay is where you learn what you like and don’t like."
During foreplay, the genitals are off-limits. Touch the other parts of your partner's body, using fingers, a feather, a silk scarf, or anything that turns them on—and ask them to describe how it feels. This builds the tension until you're both ready to explode. Check out our tips on how not to screw up your next foreplay session .
Want to know if your partner likes to talk dirty? Say something like, "You make me think dirty thoughts." Ease in slowly. It's best to test the waters a bit, rather than immediately go for your deepest, kinkiest dirty talk right off the bat. Here's our guide to talking dirty in bed .
Roleplay requires a huge suspension of disbelief, but if you can fully commit, the payoff can be massive. Many popular roles (boss/secretary, teacher/student, stripper/customer) play on the theme of one person being in control, while the other is at their mercy.
"These are strong dynamics, even in healthy and fun sexual relationships," Jean Mone , a New York City sex therapist previously told Men's Health . "They allow the [partners] to enact their fantasies in a way that won't leave them feeling vulnerable."
If your partner has a vulva, there's a very good chance they need clitoral stimulation in order to climax—P-in-V intercourse alone isn't gonna cut it. As for the best way to stimulate your partner's clitoris? An Indiana University survey of 1,055 women found that 3 out of 4 respondents lik
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