How To Have Anal For The First Time
🔞 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
How To Have Anal For The First Time
A beginner's guide to getting acquainted with your own backdoor.
The Surprisingly Tender Delight of “the Sluttiest Thing a Man Can Do”
Todd Snyder's End-of-Season Sale Is an Epic Summer Hang
Get Your Questions Answered by Experts in the GQ Wellness Newsletter
Will be used in accordance with our Privacy Policy .
The Best Vibrators Will Help You Get a Buzz
The Best Prostate Massagers Will Unlock the Back Door
The 62 Best Sex Toys for Absolutely Everyone
The Best Sex Lube for Every Level of Freakiness
Since 1957, GQ has inspired men to look sharper and live smarter with its unparalleled coverage of style, culture, and beyond. From award-winning writing and photography to binge-ready videos to electric live events, GQ meets millions of modern men where they live, creating the moments that create conversations.
To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories .
To revisit this article, select My Account, then View saved stories
In what’s been a great development for butt-enjoyers everywhere, anal sex is now a lot less taboo than it used to be. For those with penises, it can be especially enjoyable, thanks to the special little walnut-shaped mass of nerves called the prostate situated under the bladder that you can “access” if you go in through the backdoor. Sometimes referred to as the “male G-spot” the prostate can deliver next-level orgasms when it’s properly stimulated. Science is currently trying to figure out why so-called prostate orgasms feel so intense—but, frankly, the why is unimportant. Let’s focus on the how.
Even though people have been sticking various and sundry items up their b-holes for centuries—google “Moche ceramics anal sex” or “ancient Rome butt stuff”—in more recent history, it hasn’t been as common for straight men to partake. So, I talked with Sex and Relationships coach Dr. Charlie Glickman, PhD, who literally wrote the book on prostate pleasure to explain just how to enjoy this under-appreciated erogenous zone. He says the most frequently asked questions he gets from straight men are: “Will it be painful?” “Will it be messy?” and “Does this make me gay?” We’ll get into this more later, but the answers to those burning questions are: it shouldn't be , not necessarily , and no, of course not.
Dr. Glickman's first point? Remember that you’re not filming a porno. Don’t try to emulate anything you’ve seen on Pornhub! You’re just asking to get hurt, and nothing is more discouraging than a supposedly pleasurable sex act that turns painful (assuming you’re going for pleasure, that is). Plus, porn stars are people who are likely having anal sex multiple times a week. And they are prepping for it—they’re just doing so off screen.
For the best chance at a life-changing, earth-quaking orgasm, he also recommends—seriously, listen to this—experimenting with butt play solo at first. For a couple reasons: The first is that it’s an opportunity to figure out what you like at your own pace, which will help you later communicate that to your partner. The second is that you can stop immediately once something becomes painful or uncomfortable. You don't have to worry about finding the right words to avoid killing the mood or discouraging your partner from ever trying this again.
Additionally, don't try to go from 0 to 60 in the beginning. Dr. Glickman recommends getting turned on using your go-to's, the things you already know you like. Not only does arousal cause the pelvic floor to relax, making anal entry easier, but “arousal changes where things land on the pleasure/pain spectrum.” Dr. Glickman explains, “things that feel amazing during sex, might not feel as good [while] reading an email from your boss.” Noted! Once you’ve figured out what it is you like up and around your butt, you can move onto more advanced play that might involve toys, or partners, or specific kinks. Just add new components one at a time. Like the act of anal itself, it’s important to go slowly.
Ahhh, eating ass. It’s been around for ages—probably millennia; the Greeks were definitely giving rimmies. But only recently have people admitted to enjoying it. In 2015, Allison Williams and Girls got a lot of press for putting ass eating on the air and potentially more firmly on the map (although Woody Harrelson was also analingus-ing his young mistress in True Detective a year earlier, and there was a rimming scene in How to Get Away With Murder that year as well).
Rimming is a great place to start with a partner because, unlike other forms of assplay, it doesn't require much advanced preparation. Wash your ass before you ask someone to venture back there, and then relax and enjoy what’s basically an all-encompassing blow job. If you’ve ever had someone touch your perineum (the spot between your balls and butthole), you know there’s a lot of feeling back there, so make sure you don’t knee someone in the face as they make their way to your b-hole. For precisely this reason, it’s often recommended for you to be in doggy-style position while receiving. If you’re worried about hair, get waxed! I know this sounds kind of crazy but waxing your ass is fairly normal (estheticians have seen everything) and it’s nearly painless, unlike waxing the front. I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s true! And it clears the way for easier access to your little tortellini.
Remember way back in 2016 when Amber Rose strongly implied Kanye was a big fan of fingering, prompting Kanye to practically short-circuit as he vehemently tried to deny it? According to a study published in 2010, 24% of men surveyed had received anal fingering, so it’s not nearly as uncommon or taboo as Kanye apparently thinks. A step “up” from the rim job (although, also commonly seen in concert with one another, a la Simon and Garfunkel), fingering requires a bit more preparation. This is where lube comes in. (If someone’s mouth is going to be around your asshole, you can also get flavored lube for rimming to make the experience more fun.)
Like most anal experiences, the slower the better, and remember there is no such thing as too much lube. You want to work your way up to getting inside the back gate, ok? It’s going to take a lot of relaxing; you can help yourself by massaging yourself externally before heading inside. You’re not going to just lie down and get four fingers up there, so slow your roll. Worried about the mess? Get some medical gloves and throw them away when you’re done. Boom! Clean hands, full ass, can’t lose.
Vibrators are not just for people with vaginas ! You can find highly rated “prostate massagers,” on Amazon, like this one , or this one , or this one . Woo! Two-day-ship-yourself the best orgasm of your life. Not ready to make that leap? Or just not into the idea of vibration? Fair enough. It’s strongly recommended that you work your way up to putting anything in your ass anyway, so you can start with anal plugs or beads, which are a lot thinner, and go from there. Often, they come in sets meant for you to build to bigger and bigger toys. Again, lube is your best friend here, so buy some when you check out. Most online sex toy shops these days ( lelo.com , adamandeve.com , babeland.com , jackandjilladult.com ) will recommend specific lubes as you’re purchasing items, and everything comes in discreet packaging shipped right to your house.
If you’re planning on playing solo with a toy, you’ll want to avoid silicone-based lubes, which can degrade certain sex toys. Instead, pick water- or oil-based lubes, however, keep in mind that oil-based lubes ruin condoms so do not ever use them when you’re wearing one. Still not sure which one to go with? Use this guide .
Start small when you get toys. Don’t try to be a hero. Also, make sure that the first few times—or at the very least, the first time—you use a toy, that you’re in full control of the situation. I don’t mean that you’re telling your partner what to do. I mean that you are actually owning and operating the vehicle. Again, it's recommended that you try fingers first , before upgrading to a toy.
So you’re ready to try receiving anal sex, kudos! According to the National Survey of Sex and Behavior from 2009, women who were having anal sex said they that were having way more consistent orgasms than women who were only having vaginal or oral sex. Part of this, of course, is likely that it takes a while to build up to anal, so you’re more likely to be having sex with a partner who knows you well, whom you trust, and whom you have an intimate relationship with. But the point remains: people are coming from anal even when they don’t have a prostate back there. On the BDSM forum, edenfantasys.com , men complain of coming too quickly when they’re being pegged. Almost any time someone describes what a prostate orgasm feels like, they describe it as more intense, even otherworldly, compared to a “normal” dick orgasm. (Not the scientific name for it, I’m sure). If done well, it’s probably going to feel amazing .
The key: prep work. You're probably going to want to clean yourself somewhat beforehand. An hour or so before you plan to have sex, take some time in the shower to get yourself ready. Some people prefer the finger test (literally cleaning as much as you can, sticking your finger up there and seeing if it comes out clean). You can also try douching, just make sure not to overdo it if that's the method you choose. In general, avoid eating foods that are going to make you feel like you need to take a dump; unsurprisingly, that’s not conducive to having hot anal sex.
When it comes to the actual pegging, you’re going to need your partner to go slow. Think about how long it takes your parents to find the slip of paper they wrote the wifi password on one time in 2010, and then go slower than that. If you’ve ever performed anal sex on anyone else, you probably understand this, but once you’re on the receiving end, you’re really gonna get it. Again, it cannot be stressed enough: USE A LOT OF LUBE. More lube than you think a reasonable person would need. Otherwise it’s going to feel like going down a dry water slide. But the dry water slide is your asshole.
A lot of people are going to be down for this, and some people are not. But either way, there’s a whole lot of pleasure being left on the table right now that no one is snatching up. Become friends with your backdoor. Or don’t.
© 2022 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. GQ may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. Ad Choices
optional screen reader
Parenting
Entertainment
Health
Food
Shopping
Digital Issues
Plus Icon
Click to expand the Mega Menu
Menu
optional screen reader
Parenting
Entertainment
Health
Food
Shopping
Digital Issues
optional screen reader
Health & Wellness
Love & Sex
Plus Icon
http://twitter.com/bethany_ramos
optional screen reader
Tags
anal sex
sex moves and positions
sex tips
More Stories from Health & Wellness
optional screen reader
Legal
Privacy Policy
Terms of Use
AdChoices
Privacy Preferences
optional screen reader
SheKnows Family:
She Media
StyleCaster
Soaps
BlogHer
optional screen reader
Our Sites
Artnews
BGR
Billboard
Deadline
Fairchild Media
Footwear News
Gold Derby
IndieWire
Robb Report
Rolling Stone
SheKnows
She Media
Soaps
Sourcing Journal
Sportico
Spy
StyleCaster
The Hollywood Reporter
TVLine
Variety
Vibe
WWD
Food & Recipes
Expand the sub menu
Special Series
Expand the sub menu
optional screen reader
Contact Us
Advertise
AdChoices
Accessibility
Careers
Privacy Policy
EU Privacy Preferences
Terms of Use
Icon Link
Plus Icon
SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Let’s be real. Even for those of us who have a generally open-minded, been-there-done-that attitude about sex, the thought of anal sex can still seem a little intimidating if you haven’t gone there before. For one reason or another, anal penetration is frequently a final sexual frontier — and there can be a whole lot of buildup (and nerves) that comes along with it.
But our greatest fears often lie in anticipation, and once you give anal a go, you might just find that you’ve been missing out on something that can actually be really hot and satisfying . After all, some studies have found that mutual satisfaction was high across the gender orgasm gap in a sexual encounters that included anal, as FiveThirtyEight’s Mona Chalabi wrote in 2015: “100 percent of men and 94 percent of women say they orgasmed during encounters in which they received anal sex.” This could be because anal is something that requires a bit more foreplay and preparation to execute well or that the people who are having anal sex are maybe a bit more concerned with getting their partner off.
We checked in with some experts and asked them to take the mystery out of anal sex for beginners , and they schooled us on some positions that can help ease you into your first time to actually make it an enjoyable experience.
Arm yourself with these tips and a lot of lube, and you’re on your way to one kick-ass time.
In the traditional cowgirl position, your partner lies down while you mount on top — yeehaw! As the partner on top, you can ease into anal penetration by moving up or down as needed. Pro tip: Make sure your bottom partner does not begin to thrust until you’re good and ready.
Certified Master Sex Expert and Educator, Sex Coach and “So Tight” Sensual Fitness Personal Trainer Nikki Ransom endorses the cowgirl position for anal newbies. She explains, “This position will allow you to control the pace and depth that his penis goes inside of you. Remember to go at an easy pace and stay relaxed. It helps to have had an orgasm already and be highly aroused.”
Jessica O’Reilly (a.k.a. Dr. Jess, Ph.D.) , author, international speaker and PlayboyTV’s sexologist, offers an alternative to the cowgirl in her book The New Sex Bible , “If she doesn’t like the sensation of deep penetration, but he desires more stimulation against the base of his shaft, she can reach backwards with a warm, wet hand to grasp the lower half of his shaft. Her hand becomes an extension of her butt while providing a physical buffer to ensure only shallow penetration.”
This position is most often associated with anal because it has major advantages. As the partner on the bottom, you can stay loose as you control penetration to increase pleasure. Getting busy on all fours may be your best bet if you have attempted and found anal painful in the past.
Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels , co-authors of Designer Relationships, Partners in Passion, Great Sex Made Simple, Tantra for Erotic Empowerment and The Essence of Tantric Sexuality , recommend doggy style for first-timers and those who may have had an unpleasant experience before. The couple says, “Anal sex should never be painful. Always use plenty of lube and proceed slowly and gently.” Ransom adds, “Rub and stimulate your clitoris too to make it even more pleasurable.”
In The New Sex Bible , Dr. Jess has a different take on doggy-style anal sex. She recommends the modified doggy to give the receptive partner more control, support intimacy and provide the opportunity for double penetration. Dr. Jess explains, “She assumes a kneeling position with her butt cheeks on her heels and her knees spread wide open. She places her hands on her knees or the bed for support. He assumes the same position behind her and adjusts his height so that the head of his [penis] rests below her bum. He remains static as she lowers herself onto his head and takes a few deep breaths before sliding farther down his shaft. She drives her butt and hips up and down at her own pace as he reaches around to fondle her breasts or rub her clitoris.”
This position is preferred if you are looking for extra intimacy during the act. Start with your partner sitting as you mount his lap, face-to-face. Once again — as the partner on top, you can control depth of penetration to stay comfy. Face-to-face anal has the added bonus of extra stimulation for a woman: breasts, clitoris, go crazy!
Johnson and Michaels love face-to-face anal for the toe-tingling intimacy it provides. They confirm, “This position facilitates using eye contact and breath to build even more arousal.”
Dr. Jess agrees. She says, “I like this position as it allows the ‘mounter’ to exercise a good amount of control of the depth and rhythm of penetration. Wear a vibrating c*** ring for this one to provide extra pleasurable sensations as the top partner grinds against his shaft.”
A version of this post was originally published January 2015.
Still want to change things up in bed? Our sex position bucket list has all sorts of moves to try:
The stories you care about, delivered daily.
SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
How to Prepare for Anal Sex, According to Actual Doctors
Let’s talk about butt sex, shall we?
1. Decide what kind of anal play you’re interested in.
The E. Coli Outbreak in the Midwest Is Getting Worse, With 38 People Hospitalized So Far
If You Haven’t Ordered Your Free COVID-19 Tests Yet, Do It Before Friday
Is It Depression or Is It Just... Everything? The 2022 Story
3. Make sure your toys are safe for anal.
The E. Coli Outbreak in the Midwest Is Getting Worse, With 38 People Hospitalized So Far
If You Haven’t Ordered Your Free COVID-19 Tests Yet, Do It Before Friday
Is It Depression or Is It Just... Everything? The 2022 Story
5. Be aware of how your poop might impact anal sex.
The E. Coli Outbreak in the Midw
Mature Pissing
Swallowed .Com
Brittney Spears Nude