How To Have A Mmf Threesome

How To Have A Mmf Threesome
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For many of us, threesomes are the kind of sexploits that only happen in the movies. But they don’t have to be permanently relegated to the realm of fantasy. With a little forethought and planning, you can make a three-way tryst a very sexy reality. Here's how.
If you're a single woman, Morse suggests dating sites, like Plenty of Fish , where couples may be looking for a third. The same goes for CraigsList—although she warns that you might find lots of weirdos, so you'll want to FaceTime or, better yet, meet them in a public place in person first. Other sites like FetLife and 3nder are also worth checking out. Another option is to go to your local sex toy store and talk to someone there, says Morse. You can ask the owners or clerks about what goes on in the community and probably find some fliers for parties or clubs.
Keep in mind that whether it's two women and a man or two men and a woman is entirely up to you as an individual or as a couple, although female-female-male is more common because guys tend to be less open-minded about including another man. That being said, a woman should never cave in just because her partner is pushing his preference. "It should never be a quid pro quo," says Morse. "You should want to do it."
Watch men and women spill the honest truth about exactly what they think about cheating:
If that goes well, then you can think about making a more direct ask. "Keep it light, and keep it fun," says Morse. A simple, "Hey, my partner and I think you're fun and you're cool. We want to have a threesome, and we think you'd be a good time. Is that something you'd be open to?" should do the trick. If you know the person, make it clear that you don't want the friendship to change. If it's a stranger or someone you connected with online, take some time to get to know each other first. Hang out to see if you're attracted to the person and could trust them.
But don't worry too much about making the big ask. The person on the receiving end will be flattered, no matter what.
(And don’t think making a certain activity off-limits will make your threesome worse, says Morse. "It can be really thrilling to have a threesome without penetration.")
If you’re in a relationship, you and your partner may also want to designate a safe word or phrase you can use in case things veer off course. "I need to get some water" or "I'm thirsty" are both good options. You should also tell the third person to speak up if he or she is ever uncomfortable.
Massage is also a great gateway to intimacy. Emily & Tony massage candles turn into a luxurious oil when blown out. You can use them to give a relaxing body rub that will seamlessly set the mood.
As for good positions to try, Morse suggests the guy lie on his back and enjoy oral sex from one woman while the other woman straddles his face so he can perform oral on her. Or have one woman lie on her back as the other woman lies on top of her. Then, the guy can enter the woman on top doggy style while the women touch one another. Another option: Arrange yourselves in a circle, and go down on each other.
"There are so many places to put our hands, our genitals, our mouths,” says Morse. “If you have a free hand or tongue, just get in there.”
If it ever seems like one party is left out, reach over and start playing with that person. This will help them get back in on the action.

InStyle is part of the Dotdash Meredith publishing family.

Dr. Jenn Mann is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the relationship expert behind InStyle's long-running weekly column, Hump Day. She is best known for her hit VH1 show, "Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn," and her popular call-in advice Sirius XM radio show, "The Dr. Jenn Show." She is a bestselling author, most recently of The Relationship Fix .

My boyfriend suggested a threesome with a third woman. I've always been curious, so I'm game. But I'm also nervous about hurting our relationship if things go awry. How can we prepare for — and avoid — that? —XXX

Threesomes are an extremely common fantasy (if not the most common), especially for men, and more and more women are feeling the pull, too. However, despite this desire, according to a 2017 study, only 10% of women and 18% of men have engaged in a threesome.

If you fall into the group that has always thought about a threesome but has yet to turn the fantasy into a reality, read on for my essential rules for having a successful first threesome.

I need to state a disclaimer: I generally don't recommend threesomes for couples in committed relationships. I'm all for them for people in casual, non-committed relationships, or situationships . But as a relationship therapist, I care most about the long-term impact on the couple dynamic, which leaves me with several concerns.

First, if the threesome idea was sparked by boredom in the bedroom, bringing a new person into the mix disincentives you from putting energy and creativity into your sex life with your partner. You're no longer working to up your game and figure out new fantasies to explore, techniques to try, and preferences your partner may have that you haven't yet probed. While a threesome may be exciting initially, it does not solve the longer-term issue of how to keep things fresh and become a better lover.

I have also seen way too many jealousy issues arise and emotional bonds form as a result of what was supposed to be "meaningless" sex. Sometimes, people who have a hard time with emotional intimacy find it hard to maintain sexual interest in their long-term partner; for them, opening the relationship to other people is an ineffective Band-Air and can stunt personal growth.

When it comes to picking a third, many couples gravitate to someone they know. This is a huge mistake. Inviting someone into the bedroom who one or both of you already have an emotional bond with makes it more likely that someone will have feelings or someone will get their feelings hurt.

Picking up strangers at bars can also be tricky. Fortunately, there are many apps, like Thrinder and Feeld , designed specifically to help you out. Once you both agree on a potential partner, I recommend meeting her for an IRL "date" before inviting her straight to bed, so you can make sure they are true to their photo, test the chemistry, and see how it feels to take the next step.

With that said, now more than ever, it's important to consider safety when it comes to who you are bringing into your bed...

Early on in the pandemic, health experts and local governments recommended limiting close contact — including sex — with anyone outside your household. Things may be more relaxed now, but with Delta breakthrough infections turning up at every corner, it's still important to talk about Covid-19 risk factors beforehand.

If you do feel comfortable moving forward, there are other safety measures to consider. First up: Birth control. You should talk about birth control with your partner and your guest star before the big event. Make sure that if your boyfriend is wearing a condom he does not double-dip. Check that everyone involved has a clean bill of health and establish in advance with your partner whether there will be any exchanging of bodily fluids. Limiting drugs and alcohol prevent things from getting out of control and makes it easier for everyone to keep their agreements.

Some couples make a no penetration rule. Others embrace a watch-but-don't-touch philosophy. For other couples, it's about limiting intimacy during the threesome experience and focusing solely on sex, aka no kissing or cuddling.

However you feel, it's important to go over every possible sexual scenario together and talk about what is off-limits and what is acceptable. Just because you are all getting naked together does not mean that it is a no holds barred sexual experience. Physical rules should be established upfront in order for this to be an emotionally safe experience.

Communication is key when bringing a third party into the mix. You both must be skilled in talking about delicate topics, and be willing to share any concerns or fears in advance. Find out what your boyfriend's expectations of the event are and share yours. If during this conversation you discover that one of you isn't fully on board or enthusiastic about the idea, it's best not to move forward. A threesome should never be about doing something solely for your partner's pleasure or 'taking one for the team'.

The moment one person becomes uncomfortable, they should have the right to end the threesome, no questions asked. One way to do this is by creating a safety word with your boyfriend. This is something that either of you can say that indicates that you're no longer feeling comfortable with the situation. Discuss in advance that this may be a real possibility that neither partner can roll their eyes at.

It can also be helpful to discuss who will lead in this sexual dance that you will be doing. Who's going to be the person to initiate physical activity with your new partner? Who is going to politely end things if that's what it comes to? It may seem un-sexy, but talking all of these logistics through in advance can make sure things go smoothly once you bring in a third person.

Ahead of time, set explicit boundaries about staying in contact before, during, and after the threesome. Is it OK for you or your boyfriend to text the other woman without their partner knowing? How do you want to handle things after the event is over? Is she invited to spend the night? Are you having breakfast together in the morning? Are you hoping to escort her out ASAP? Most couples find it helpful to say a kind goodbye to the third party relatively quickly and find time to connect with one another.

It's also important to be clear on whether or not this is a one-time thing or if either of you is hoping to have this be a regular activity and, if so, with the same person every time. Stay true to these commitments. All too often people get slippery about the agreements they make, develop bonds with the non-primary partner, become jealous, or hurt each other's feelings.

While all of these tips are about protecting your relationship with your partner, be sure to discuss expectations, boundaries, and protocol with the newcomer, too. They also have the right to bow out if they feel uncomfortable at any point. You all need to be on the same page in order for everyone to feel respected and have a good time.

In Hump Day, award-winning psychotherapist and TV host Dr. Jenn Mann answers your sex and relationship questions — unjudged and unfiltered.

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Experts provide tips on engaging in a faux-threesome without wrecking your relationship.
When it comes to fantasies, you can't get much kinkier than a threesome. But experts agree that engaging in one can totally wreck your relationship. Clinical sexologist Patti Britton, PhD, cofounder of SexCoachU.com , shared sexy ideas to satisfy that dream in a fun and harmless way.
When it comes to fantasies, you can't get much kinkier than a threesome. But experts agree that engaging in one can totally wreck your relationship. Clinical sexologist Patti Britton, PhD, cofounder of SexCoachU.com , shared sexy ideas to satisfy that dream in a fun and harmless way.
Have a sultry conversation with your guy about bringing a third person into the boudoir. Lead into it by playfully saying, "Let's try something fun and different tonight." Then take turns vividly describing a hot scenario. When you imagine yourself performing a sexual act, your brain actually goes through the same mental process it would if you were actually doing it. That, in turn, triggers physical arousal. The more details you use, the more engaged your brain becomes, and the stronger your body's response.
Part of the erotic appeal of a threesome is the fact that somebody is watching you get it on . Channel that exhibitionist effect by leaving the blinds open and getting frisky right in front of the window.
To harness that "other person" excitement of a three-way, try role-play where one of you is your normal self and the other plays a character. For example, while your guy's "out of town," a repairman comes to the house and you end up doing it on the kitchen floor. Or your man goes to get a massage , and the masseuse (you) starts stroking him in a kinky way.
Putting on porn makes it kinda feel like there's someone else in the room with you. You can watch the first half of the film and then carry out the rest of the plot on your own, use the movie as a launching pad to spark a sexy discussion about which character turned you on most and what you'd do to him or her, or just leave it on in the background during sex. A good method for finding a movie that you'll be into (meaning not overly raunchy or fetishistic) is to focus on videos created by female directors, who have more of a feminine sensibility. A few sites to check out: msnaughty.com , candidaroyalle.com , blueartichokefilms.com , and petrajoy.com .
Bringing a vibrator between the sheets lets you experience 360-degree sensations, which is one of the attractions of a threesome. Hold it against your guy's nipples or perineum while you're giving him oral pleasure, or ask him to press it against your clitoris or backdoor during intercourse for twice as much stimulation.
A super effective way to look and feel like a totally different person is wearing a wig, and since Halloween's around the corner , you can get them almost anywhere. Pick one that's the opposite of your normal hair—long, dark locks if you have a short bob or vice-versa. Or, just dress out of character, like putting on something super vampy if you're usually preppy.
Watching your significant other get off with someone else is partly what makes a three-way so taboo. To hint at that voyeurism, set up a mirror near your bed or have doggie-style sex leaned over the bathroom sink so you can see your reflections.
Want to raise the stakes even more? Get busy in a semi-public setting . Park your car on a side street and go at it in the back seat. Sit in the back row at the movies, and discreetly go down on him. Do it in a restaurant bathroom or a spare room at a party, where you can hear the hubbub of the crowd in the background.
If you feel ready to really push some boundaries, try this wild idea: Go to a high-end strip club together and order a lap dance . A few ground rules: Have a conversation with your guy beforehand about your expectations, and explain that it's a fun way to spice things up for the two of you, not something that will lead to sex play with the dancer. And keep in mind that it's natural for him to get turned on by her—which is why it's so important that you feel confident this is something you're doing for your sex life as a couple. Also, if it's appealing to you, consider getting the lap dance yourself instead of your guy being the recipient. It ensures you'll feel like you're a part of the action, while he gets to take in the sizzling view.

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How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Send your questions for Stoya and Rich to howtodoit@slate.com . Nothing’s too small (or big).
My girlfriend and I had our first threesome a few nights ago, and it was great. We talked about it, and she felt most comfortable trying it out with a guy first (with a woman possibly in the future), and I was fine with that. We found a guy on an app designed for couples looking. I’ve never been naked with another guy outside a locker room, much less seen one hard in person, so I was nervous, but it was actually just comfortable and fun from the get-go. Maybe too comfortable. Things took a turn about halfway through—he was watching her blow me, and I got really, really hard, and to both of our surprise, he asked if he could join her (he went for the … jewels). He had told us he was straight but fine with some man-on-man contact in threesomes; we figured that meant we might touch inadvertently, but nothing more. In the moment, we just kind of went with it, and I came shortly after, possibly harder than I ever have. It was great—except now I feel like I’ve learned something about myself that I don’t really know how to process. My girlfriend seemed unfazed and barely acknowledged it happened, which I sort of appreciate, but I am not sure what to make of this. Can I be bicurious and not know it? Is it j
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How To Have A Mmf Threesome

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