How To Give Hand Job
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How To Give Hand Job
By Marissa Gainsburg Published: Jun 22, 2019
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"A lot of women get overly complicated with technique, which can be a little too much for him."
"It's perfectly possible to use a hand job as the main sex event rather than just foreplay."
Marissa Gainsburg is the Features Director at Women's Health, where she oversees the magazine's news-meets-trends Warm Up section and Love & Life section. After receiving her journalism degree from the University of Florida, Marissa has spent the past eight years in NYC with her dog Bentley, writing and editing fitness, nutrition, health, sexual health, mental health, relationship, and travel content. She's held previous positions at Self, Allure, and Cosmopolitan.
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Out of all the go-to skills in your sex repertoire, giving a hand job is likely not one that you whip out often. Not because you're totally clueless about how to handle his penis, but because sometime after high school, the good ol' HJ lost its luster.
"The hand job definitely doesn't happen enough in adult bedrooms," says Vanessa Marin , a licensed sex therapist in Los Angeles. "It’s a huge shame because a hand job is a great way to bring pleasure to your partner."
The reasons are two-fold: One, he gets the opportunity to watch his sexy partner (you) take the reins on something he typically does himself. And two, when you do something that you don't engage in often, the act becomes infinitely hotter. Simply because it's novel.
"Our brains crave newness," Marin says—even for something that's totally old-school.
So here's how to give a good hand job, in case you (a) forgot, or (b) skipped that step on your way to be becoming a full-blown sex goddess...
Good sex starts with knowing what you and your partner want—and being able to talk about it. The hand job, despite its "basic" nature, is no exception.
"The easiest way to find out what works for him is to ask him how he likes to touch himself," says Holly Richmond , PhD, a certified sex therapist and licensed marriage therapist with practices in L.A., New Jersey, and Portland, Oregon. "Have him show you what he does when he's on his own, and really watch."
Not only will you get a general idea of the speed and motion he uses, you'll also likely be turned on.
"For many women [and men], watching their partner masturbate is a huge turn-on," Richmond adds. And getting in the mood to give a good handy is half the battle (amirite?).
Every man and every penis is different (obvs), but for hand-job purposes, you can divide them into two camps: circumcised and uncircumcised .
Circumcised penises (a.k.a. ones that have had the foreskin removed) are used to being touched at the tip, so you may want to spend extra time on that area, Richmond says.
Uncircumcised penises, however, can be extremely sensitive around the hood (because they're not usually exposed). So with this type, you definitely want to see how aggressively he tugs on himself before you jump in. He may not pull the foreskin down much, so take note.
If you haven't figured out by now that lube makes everything better, maybe you will now.
"When you're using your hands instead of your mouth or vagina, which are wet in nature, you need lubricant to minimize friction from skin-to-skin contact," Marin explains. "The hand job will become much, much smoother and easier for you and much more enjoyable for him."
Of course, you don't have to be a total traditionalist with your hand job. "There's no reason you can't use a little bit of spit to add moisture," adds Richmond. Just know that whereas spit dries/evaporates quickly, a good lube won't.
"A big 'issue' that comes up from men is that women are too delicate with the penis," Marin says. It's not really your fault: "Since the clitoris is really sensitive, we tend to approach the penis with more sensitivity than necessary. You can be a lot firmer than you think."
Of course, you don't want to squeeze your guy so hard that his eggplant actually turns purple. So a good way to tell? "When your partner is hard, wrap your hand around his penis and gradually increase the pressure. As you do so, have him tell you when it’s too much," suggests Marin.
You'll very likely be surprised by how much pressure he actually wants.
Chances are, your guy is used to getting himself off with a pretty straightforward up-and-down motion. (I mean, he's been doing this since, what, age 11? He's got it down pat.)
So when you're giving him a hand job, simple is better. "A lot of women get overly complicated with technique," Marin says, "which can be a little too much for him."
Her advice: Switch things up a bit every minute-ish. That doesn't mean stop what you're doing and restart with an entirely different type of touch, but "make a slight tweak, like using a little more pressure or going a little slower or faster," she says.
Have two or three different techniques that you can alternate, and gradually transition between them.
For example, try cupping your whole hand around the base of his penis and doing a slight twisting motion (again, with lube!) as you move his shaft up and down. Then switch to sliding just your thumb and pointer finger (imagine the "okay" hand signal) up and down his penis, faster.
Speaking of technique, one way to make him finish fast (that is sorta the goal when your arms get tired, right?) is to bring both hands to the penis party.
"He's most likely used to just using one main hand when he masturbates, so if you use two, you're adding excitement and stimulation right off the bat," Richmond notes.
Plus, using two hands shows you're really, uh, invested in giving a good performance. "He will be much more into the hand job if he can easily tell that you are, too," says Marin. (True words.)
By this, I mean (mostly) his balls.
"Don't leave the balls out of it, unless you know he's not into ball play," Marin says. Balls are usually pretty simple: "Either cradle them softly in one hand, rub your fingers around them, or lightly stroke the area in between the two testicles, which is super-sensitive."
You could also try spreading your hand so that you grasp his balls between your fingers (do. not. squeeze.) or grazing a finger from the top of his ballsack down, she adds.
And don't stop there: "The area between his penis and anus, the perineum, has tons of nerve endings, so you can touch there, too," Richmond says. He could also like a little butt action —but always ask first. Never ass-ume (heh).
For circumcised penises, stroking the area where his head meets his shaft, as well as the very tip, can be extremely stimulating for him, as well. Again, focus your attention where he does himself and you're good.
When one (or both) of you is naked, verbalizing when something doesn't feel good can be awkward, if not downright awful. But communicating about what you don't like is super important—especially in the case of a hand job, when you could actually cause him some pain.
Ideally, your partner will tell you when he's uncomfortable or just not into something, but either way, "pay attention to his body language, which will tell you everything about how it feels," says Richmond. That includes his facial expressions, (happy) moans, pace of breath, and—the obvious—strength of his erection.
In case you were wondering, "it's perfectly possible to use a hand job as the main sex event rather than just foreplay," Richmond continues. "We all want to be touched—it creates an opportunity for a whole new level of intimacy."
So there you have it, folks: A good hand job is finally in your, ahem, hands...and hopefully will be for the rest of your adult life.
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If you aren’t giving your man an amazing dose of hand jobs then it is almost certain that he is resenting it in some way. No issues today you’ll learn exactly how to give a hand job, a good earth-shattering hand job he could only dream of.
In this amazing guide on how to give a hand job we will discuss plenty of techniques that you can use for male genital massage to get your man aroused and to climax in a matter of minutes – or if you feel like it, seconds or hours!
There are several things you need to do before getting started on your man’s member.
While he doesn’t have to do as much grooming and freshening up for a hand job (think of it as a great way to please your man after he’s mowed the lawn), you may have to put in a little more effort on your part.
Nothing can be more frustrating than for a man to be quite aroused but having his penis get snagged by a hangnail mid-job.
Generally, women have soft hands but if you notice any calluses or rough spots, you might want to take care of those first before beginning the massage.
Get some good lotion and let the lanolin soak in so your hands will the soft as an infants.
Last but not least, be aware if you have any cuts or open sores on your hand.
If you do and aren’t sure if your partner has a sexually transmitted disease (or if you know that he does), be sure to wear latex or vinyl gloves for the job.
Gloves are also great if you do have calluses or rough spots on your hands and most guys love them (contrary to popular belief) because it gives the massage a slicker, more uniform feeling.
No, lotion simply won’t do – it is too thick and gloppy!
Think twice before using oil if you plan on having intercourse using a condom later (it can break down a condom quickly).
Lube isn’t that expensive and works much better for the task at hand (no pun intended) – make sure you get the water based lubricant as well.
Have it ready by the bed (or venue of choice) so that when you begin, you can easily coat your hands and your partner’s penis with the substance.
You can put it in a bucket of hot water or even a small crock pot so it stays warm throughout the hand job. You will most likely need to reapply throughout the massage.
There are now all sorts of “fantasy” lubes on the market now.
You can get lube that warms, lube that cools, is flavored, is organic (no chemicals) or even desensitizes which is good if your man comes too quickly with your touch.
Your own spit is great and easy to come by! Mixed with some of his precum (should he be one of the guys who produces it) makes for very good, not to mention convenient, “natural” mixture of slippery stuff!
Note: IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE OIL – one recommendation is to use grape seed oil.
It slides well and is all natural. You can pull it out of the cabinet in the kitchen for an impromptu hand job while dinner is simmering.:-)
This is actually a very important part regarding genital massage that is often given very little or no thought.
First of all, if your partner is not comfortable, his enjoyment will be hindered somewhat – making it more difficult for him to have an orgasm or the fantastic one you are planning to give.
If the woman is uncomfortable, she will tire of massaging her partner’s genitals more quickly and easily than if she were set up well and relaxed.
So, unless you are wanting the hand job to be “risky” or “surprising” (like in his office or in the woods), find a comfortable place in which to give your partner the genital massage.
You can also add extra comfort by propping either you or your partner (or both!) up on soft pillows.
Be sure to position yourself so that your hands and arms will not become tired easily.
The bed is an obvious choice but also consider a sofa (one that is protected or cleans up easily) or a office chairs that leans back.
Most men do like to lounge back while they are masturbating or receiving hand jobs as it is usually a comfortable position and allows for the thrusting of the hips.
We’ve established that is important to find a comfortable place for both you and your partner before embarking on a genital massage.
How do you know what is the right position? Experiment! You and your partner should work with different positions until you both find something comfortable.
* Standing with your partner facing you (you are both standing facing each other).
He’ll love to see the look on your face as you play with his cock . Look at his member like you are actually in love with it, that it is beautiful and wonderful (it really is one of the most amazing parts of the anatomy).
You enjoying the sight and feel of his manhood will be a huge turn on for him.
* Kneeling in front of your partner while he is sitting in a chair or on the edge of the bed (like fellatio).
* Sitting side by side on the couch or the bed (or other surface). If you reach over while he’s watching TV or a movie and jerk him off it will be one of his fantasies coming true.
* Sitting in between your partner’s legs while he is lying down. This is great for him as he can completely relax.
* Sitting beside your partner but leaning over in a way that you are facing his feet
* “Doggy Style” positioning. You can be either under him while he is in the position – or to the side of him.
Or have him spread his legs wide in this position and you can be behind him and grab his goodies from between his legs.
It is a great angle for you to touch and tease and play with his ball sac – which is extremely erotic for almost all men.
* Kneeling while your partner is standing. This position is often used in combination with a blow job but it can be used solely for a hand job. * Lying beside your partner.
If you undress he’ll be able to play with your breasts and you can even kiss while you stroke.
* Driving down the road (the recipient should NOT be the one behind the wheel!) or in your car at the drive in theater. Splurge for a limo with a privacy screen and make another fantasy come true.
* Have him sit on the edge of the bathtub – feet in the water, while you are in the tub stroking him like a mermaid.
* Try having him in the bathtub and you on the edge while substituting your “feet” for “hand” action and given him a “foot job” to change things up!
* Standing with your partner facing away from you (this is particularly fun if you slip up behind him, rubbing on him, then reach around and unzip his pants — never let him turn around — but work him to where he looks down and only sees your hand while the rest of your body is pressed into his).
He will have a free hand to reach around and explore between your legs without actually “seeing” you.
Women love this position because it can also be used with the SURPRISE “sneak into the shower and give him a hand job when he least expects it” act. Soap or shampoo on your hands will feel amazing to him when you try this move.
Although if soap or shampoo get inside his penis it can burn like the dickens, and will continue every time he pees for the next few days.
So, if you use soap or shampoo just stay away from his penis head. He’ll love the slippery suds on his shaft, balls and between his legs.
This is probably one of the best positions for bringing your guy to orgasm because if you are behind him your strokes and motions will be closer to how he has stroked himself to orgasm over the years.
Guys who frequently masturbate actually train their penis to come more easily with particular strokes or patterns.
* Any other position that you and your partner find comfortable and fun
As long as you and your partner keep an open mind and keep the lines of communication open, you are likely to find several genital massage positions that work well for you.
Just make sure to communicate! If something is not working for either you or your partner, it is important that you speak up about it and let the other know immediately!
As long as you do so in a kind and gentle manner, no one will get offended by it.
This applies to all aspects of genital massage (not just the positioning).
Just because he is not orgasming in a certain position does not mean he is not thoroughly enjoying it.
In fact, learn what positions and techniques feel great to him but do not take him over the top.
You’ll want to use those when it is your desire to give him an extended hand job or if you are using a hand job as foreplay and want to climax with intercourse.
It is important to warm your partner up before going the full Monty. Just how exactly do you get your partner warmed up?
You can utilize some of the same techniques for warming up a man for intercourse, such as giving him visual stimulation.
Trust me – with guys, visual stimulation will warm them up anytime. You can wear revealing or seductive lingerie (just as long as you’re wearing something that you feel good in and are comfortable with too) or you can do a little strip tease for him.
Just watching someone else fondling his beloved member for a change is probably enough to get him rock hard in no time.
Eye contact is ultra important for most guys. You certainly don’t stare him down but look at his face from time to time like he is the man you adore and want to eat up.
One of the best ways, however, to get a man warmed up for an amazing hand job is to massage the rest of his body first.
Contrary to popular belief, women aren’t the only ones who like a full body massage as a prelude to sexual activity!
Now, this does not mean that you have to go all out and give your partner a massage that a professional would charge a hundred bucks an hour for.
You can, however, massage his head, neck and some of his back to get him loose and ready to experience sexual stimulation.
This is also a great ice breaker if you’re a bit shy or if you want to surprise your partner with a
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