How To Give A Handie

How To Give A Handie
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Hand jobs don’t get the respect they deserve. They’re an activity that many people (especially heterosexual people) haven’t done since they were teenagers. But, just like fingering a woman , manually stimulating a man can be one of the best ways to give focused stimulation. Here’s everything you need to know to give a fantastic hand job.
My first couple of steps are identical to my recommendations for fingering a woman. Enthusiastic consent is key. Some guys just don’t like hand jobs, or won’t want one in that particular moment. That’s OK.
Enthusiasm is essential on the giver’s end too. Enthusiasm is so crucial to great sex. If your partner can tell you’re just going through the motions, it’s going to be really hard for them to lie back and receive. If you’ve never given your partner a hand job before, play that up. Let him know you’re excited to try something new, and to give his penis some focused attention. Compliment the size and shape of his penis.
Wash your hands and make sure your nails are short and smooth.
Let’s do a quick anatomy refresher. The shaft is the majority of the penis. It’s capped off by the head of the penis, which typically looks like a mushroom cap. The head will be exposed if he’s circumcised, and covered with a foreskin if he’s not. If he’s not circumcised, the foreskin will typically retract on its own when he’s erect, so the head of the penis is exposed. On the underside of his penis is his frenulum. It looks like a little seam, and is typically ultra-sensitive. At the base of his penis are his testicles. The strip of skin between his testicles and anus is called the perineum.
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Have him lie flat on his back. If he wants to watch the action, he can sit up a bit, with some pillows propped behind him for support. Sit between his legs, facing his head. You can sit cross-legged, or stretch your legs out on top of his. You want to be able to be comfortable for a decent amount of time, so do whatever maneuvering you need to do.
Lube is absolutely essential for a great hand job. The penis doesn’t self-lubricate, you need to use lube to ensure that things go smoothly. I like silicone lubes like Pjur Original —the best because you can go forever without needing to reapply. They also feel fantastic against the skin.
I left out one crucial piece of advice in my fingering a woman article—ask her to show you what she likes! This advice works for a hand job as well. Tell him, “I want to see what you do when you touch yourself.” Then pay attention to his grip, technique, and speed. It’s incredibly erotic to watch.
In particular, I think it’s helpful to get a sense of how tightly he squeezes his penis. If you don’t have a penis yourself, you might be nervous about using too much pressure. But the most common complaint I hear from men is that their partners don’t use a firm enough grip. If you can’t get a good enough sense from watching him, try this—grip his penis, and slowly increase the pressure. Ask him to stop you until you get to the pressure that feels best for him.
In case the title isn’t clear, mutual masturbation is when you and your partner masturbate in front
The basic hand job technique is to move your hand up and down his shaft. I recommend a gentle back-and-forth twisting motion with your wrist as you move up and down, to give him a little extra stimulation as you go. Focus a bit of extra attention on the sensitive head. You may want to slow down a bit once you get to the head, or squeeze a bit tighter.
Once you get comfortable, you can try using two hands. You can place one fist on top of the other, and move them up and down in unison. Or try interlacing your fingers, and wrapping both hands around his penis. Another fun trick is to wrap one hand around the head of his penis, and slide it down his shaft to the base. As soon as you hit the base, repeat the movement with your other hand. Release at the base, so your hands keep moving in one direction only. Keep doing this over and over again. It will feel like he’s endlessly penetrating your hands.
While you’re working his shaft with one hand, use your other hand to explore the rest of his genitals. The testicles are a great place to stimulate. Be more delicate with his testicles than you are with his shaft. Hold both of his testicles in your hand, and gently squeeze or tug on them. The skin between his testicles can be particularly sensitive, so try lightly holding the skin between your thumb and pointer finger, and slowly moving your fingers from the base of his testicles down to the edge.
You can also play with his perineum and his anus. Use a lubed-up knuckle to apply a good amount of pressure to the perineum. A kneading motion can work well. If you have his permission, you can also apply a bit of pressure to his anus.
Don’t be afraid to ask him for feedback about what he likes best or what he wants you to do. Communicating during a hand job can be really hot—and very helpful!

By Marissa Gainsburg Published: Jun 22, 2019
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"A lot of women get overly complicated with technique, which can be a little too much for him."
"It's perfectly possible to use a hand job as the main sex event rather than just foreplay."
Marissa Gainsburg is the Features Director at Women's Health, where she oversees the magazine's news-meets-trends Warm Up section and Love & Life section. After receiving her journalism degree from the University of Florida, Marissa has spent the past eight years in NYC with her dog Bentley, writing and editing fitness, nutrition, health, sexual health, mental health, relationship, and travel content. She's held previous positions at Self, Allure, and Cosmopolitan.
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Out of all the go-to skills in your sex repertoire, giving a hand job is likely not one that you whip out often. Not because you're totally clueless about how to handle his penis, but because sometime after high school, the good ol' HJ lost its luster.
"The hand job definitely doesn't happen enough in adult bedrooms," says Vanessa Marin , a licensed sex therapist in Los Angeles. "It’s a huge shame because a hand job is a great way to bring pleasure to your partner."
The reasons are two-fold: One, he gets the opportunity to watch his sexy partner (you) take the reins on something he typically does himself. And two, when you do something that you don't engage in often, the act becomes infinitely hotter. Simply because it's novel.
"Our brains crave newness," Marin says—even for something that's totally old-school.
So here's how to give a good hand job, in case you (a) forgot, or (b) skipped that step on your way to be becoming a full-blown sex goddess...
Good sex starts with knowing what you and your partner want—and being able to talk about it. The hand job, despite its "basic" nature, is no exception.
"The easiest way to find out what works for him is to ask him how he likes to touch himself," says Holly Richmond , PhD, a certified sex therapist and licensed marriage therapist with practices in L.A., New Jersey, and Portland, Oregon. "Have him show you what he does when he's on his own, and really watch."
Not only will you get a general idea of the speed and motion he uses, you'll also likely be turned on.
"For many women [and men], watching their partner masturbate is a huge turn-on," Richmond adds. And getting in the mood to give a good handy is half the battle (amirite?).
Every man and every penis is different (obvs), but for hand-job purposes, you can divide them into two camps: circumcised and uncircumcised .
Circumcised penises (a.k.a. ones that have had the foreskin removed) are used to being touched at the tip, so you may want to spend extra time on that area, Richmond says.
Uncircumcised penises, however, can be extremely sensitive around the hood (because they're not usually exposed). So with this type, you definitely want to see how aggressively he tugs on himself before you jump in. He may not pull the foreskin down much, so take note.
If you haven't figured out by now that lube makes everything better, maybe you will now.
"When you're using your hands instead of your mouth or vagina, which are wet in nature, you need lubricant to minimize friction from skin-to-skin contact," Marin explains. "The hand job will become much, much smoother and easier for you and much more enjoyable for him."
Of course, you don't have to be a total traditionalist with your hand job. "There's no reason you can't use a little bit of spit to add moisture," adds Richmond. Just know that whereas spit dries/evaporates quickly, a good lube won't.
"A big 'issue' that comes up from men is that women are too delicate with the penis," Marin says. It's not really your fault: "Since the clitoris is really sensitive, we tend to approach the penis with more sensitivity than necessary. You can be a lot firmer than you think."
Of course, you don't want to squeeze your guy so hard that his eggplant actually turns purple. So a good way to tell? "When your partner is hard, wrap your hand around his penis and gradually increase the pressure. As you do so, have him tell you when it’s too much," suggests Marin.
You'll very likely be surprised by how much pressure he actually wants.
Chances are, your guy is used to getting himself off with a pretty straightforward up-and-down motion. (I mean, he's been doing this since, what, age 11? He's got it down pat.)
So when you're giving him a hand job, simple is better. "A lot of women get overly complicated with technique," Marin says, "which can be a little too much for him."
Her advice: Switch things up a bit every minute-ish. That doesn't mean stop what you're doing and restart with an entirely different type of touch, but "make a slight tweak, like using a little more pressure or going a little slower or faster," she says.
Have two or three different techniques that you can alternate, and gradually transition between them.
For example, try cupping your whole hand around the base of his penis and doing a slight twisting motion (again, with lube!) as you move his shaft up and down. Then switch to sliding just your thumb and pointer finger (imagine the "okay" hand signal) up and down his penis, faster.
Speaking of technique, one way to make him finish fast (that is sorta the goal when your arms get tired, right?) is to bring both hands to the penis party.
"He's most likely used to just using one main hand when he masturbates, so if you use two, you're adding excitement and stimulation right off the bat," Richmond notes.
Plus, using two hands shows you're really, uh, invested in giving a good performance. "He will be much more into the hand job if he can easily tell that you are, too," says Marin. (True words.)
By this, I mean (mostly) his balls.
"Don't leave the balls out of it, unless you know he's not into ball play," Marin says. Balls are usually pretty simple: "Either cradle them softly in one hand, rub your fingers around them, or lightly stroke the area in between the two testicles, which is super-sensitive."
You could also try spreading your hand so that you grasp his balls between your fingers (do. not. squeeze.) or grazing a finger from the top of his ballsack down, she adds.
And don't stop there: "The area between his penis and anus, the perineum, has tons of nerve endings, so you can touch there, too," Richmond says. He could also like a little butt action —but always ask first. Never ass-ume (heh).
For circumcised penises, stroking the area where his head meets his shaft, as well as the very tip, can be extremely stimulating for him, as well. Again, focus your attention where he does himself and you're good.
When one (or both) of you is naked, verbalizing when something doesn't feel good can be awkward, if not downright awful. But communicating about what you don't like is super important—especially in the case of a hand job, when you could actually cause him some pain.
Ideally, your partner will tell you when he's uncomfortable or just not into something, but either way, "pay attention to his body language, which will tell you everything about how it feels," says Richmond. That includes his facial expressions, (happy) moans, pace of breath, and—the obvious—strength of his erection.
In case you were wondering, "it's perfectly possible to use a hand job as the main sex event rather than just foreplay," Richmond continues. "We all want to be touched—it creates an opportunity for a whole new level of intimacy."
So there you have it, folks: A good hand job is finally in your, ahem, hands...and hopefully will be for the rest of your adult life.
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Update meaning for: Handie

A short form of the phease "hand job". A sexual practice, usually first practived in the pre- or early teen years, where a girl masterbates a guy with her hand. Handies often lead to harder forms of sex, such as blow jobs, which initially is just a handie where she puts her mouth over the top of the penis until he ejaculates into her mouth instead of into the air.
Bob's little sister Paula was teasing me so much that I finally told her to either stop it or she'd have to give me a handie to take care of the arousal she caused. Being curious about what a handie was, she let me teach her how to do it. She even took her top off so I could cum on her developing breasts. A month later, a handie led to me cumming in her mouth.
to give a guy great pleasure by rubbing up and down on his penis and whispering dirty words in his ear at the same time. girls,he'll love you for it.
oh sally, i've got a boner, could you please help me out and give me a handie.

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If the nineties were all about vibrators for women, the teenies seem to be the decade of the male sex toy.
And the latest ‘finishing tool for men’ on the block is The Handie – a sort of bionic hand for, well, w*nking.
Made from food-grade silicone, The Handie has a whole caboodle of stimulating features, including a ‘textured penetration simulator’ and a ‘vibrating bullett’.
And there’s no need to worry about chaffing, as the handie even has a built-in self-lubrication system. Vom.
But before you eagerly rush off to buy one, we’re sorry to tell you that The Handie isn’t available quite yet, because (as with seemingly everything nowadays) it’s being crowd funded.
As you’d imagine there are some rather unique incentives, including ‘access to a free, live, uncensored webcast documenting the moulding of a porn star for her Signature Series The Handie’ for a donation of $200. Which quite frankly put us off our lunch.
Still, if you fancy giving The Handie a hand (ba-dum-cha) reaching its $69,000 target, you can do so through its Indiegogo page.

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