How To Give A Guy A Handjob

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How To Give A Guy A Handjob

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5 HOT Tips For Pleasuring A Man With Just Your Hands
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By Pleasure Mechanics — Written on May 25, 2017
If your lover is like many men, he would love to have sex every day or even multiple times a day. Unfortunately, many women can't keep up with their lovers' sex drives. The stress of work and family drain women of their ability to get turned on and be spontaneously in the mood for sex , especially intercourse.
Transitioning from laundry to lingerie is not as easy as many sex advice columns would have us believe. Learning how to create the relaxation and intimacy to transition a woman from stressed-out to blissed-out is essential for creating a sustainable sex life. 
But there are other essential tools to keep your male lover satisfied, to give him the pleasure and attention he craves , and to keep his sex drive in a healthy cruise control when you aren't in the mood for intercourse. Those tools are right in front of you.
Ladies, it is time to learn how to use your hands.
When was the last time you had sex with just your hands? What are your first thoughts when this question is posed? Many women haven't brought a man fully to climax with just their hands since high school or college. Some think it "doesn't count as sex." Others are simply at a loss, claiming they don't know how. Or, you might think a man can do that all on his own, so why would you bother?
Your hands are sensitive, dexterous, and capable of giving your man intense pleasure and powerful climaxes. With a little skill and confidence, you can fully satisfy your man and leave him feeling saturated with pleasure. Let's face it, sometimes the idea of intercourse or oral sex is too much. But you may be turned on enough to kiss, cuddle, and give your man a fabulous orgasm with your hands!
Today's challenge is to add this skill to your sexual repertoire, and then notice the benefits of bringing manual stimulation back into your bedroom. We're going to help you out by showing you that touching a man goes way beyond the "one-stroke wonder " kind of touch you might have used back in the day.
First, forget everything you think you know about hand jobs. Forget the image of holding on and pumping up and down in the same frenzied motion over and over again. We're not quite sure when this one-stroke model for touching men became the norm, but throw it out the window — men deserve a lot more finesse than that.
Here are a few essential tips to get you started:
Lubricants will allow your hands to slip and slide over his sensitive skin. Lube decreases friction and increases sensation.
2. Use more pressure than you thought possible.
Many women are scared of hurting the penis and use light, tentative pressure. Try using a very firm grip, using your hands to create a tight squeeze along the entire length of his shaft . Then explore the full range of pressure, from feather light to very deep.
Use your hands in a variety of ways, from a full hand grasp to a single finger glide. The more variety you create, the more sensation he will feel, and your touch will stay fresh and exciting.
Play with rhythm and speed to create variety. Think of it as music: steady rhythm with variety and unexpected flourishes creates more pleasure.
5. Think of the stimulation as a journey, not a race to the finish.
Don't just find one stroke that works and try to finish as quickly as possible. Build up his arousal, then back off. Tease him. Create peaks and valleys in his pleasure. This will make his climax even more intense.
Once you give yourself permission to explore new ways of touching him, begin noticing his reactions. Pay exquisite attention to his responses. How does he respond when you touch ever so lightly around the head of his penis? Do faster or slower strokes peak his interest? Can you tell when he is really into it? What happens to his breathing? Does he make sounds to let you know when it feels good? By paying attention you'll gain valuable information about your lover's patterns of arousal and will be proficient in giving him pleasure. 
Using your hands is also the best way to explore prolonging his arousal and delaying ejaculation. Your hands can quickly respond to feedback, allowing you to back off on stimulation before he reaches the point of "no return" and climaxes. After you gain confidence using your hands to pleasure him, begin playing with prolonging his pleasure. Work together to notice and communicate as he gets closer to ejaculation, and play with backing off and building up as many times as you can before he simply can't wait any longer and wants to experience his climax.
With a little skill and a lot of confidence, using your hands to pleasure your man can add a whole new dimension to your sex life . Many women find this to be an exciting and sexy addition, as they take control and are able to pleasure their man in a whole new way. All too often we forget about our hands as the amazing erotic tools they are designed to be; we are built to give and receive pleasure, and touch is our primary way of communicating with our lover.
The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. See additional information
© 2022 by Tango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved.

By Marissa Gainsburg Published: Jun 22, 2019
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"A lot of women get overly complicated with technique, which can be a little too much for him."
"It's perfectly possible to use a hand job as the main sex event rather than just foreplay."
Marissa Gainsburg is the Features Director at Women's Health, where she oversees the magazine's news-meets-trends Warm Up section and Love & Life section. After receiving her journalism degree from the University of Florida, Marissa has spent the past eight years in NYC with her dog Bentley, writing and editing fitness, nutrition, health, sexual health, mental health, relationship, and travel content. She's held previous positions at Self, Allure, and Cosmopolitan.
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Out of all the go-to skills in your sex repertoire, giving a hand job is likely not one that you whip out often. Not because you're totally clueless about how to handle his penis, but because sometime after high school, the good ol' HJ lost its luster.
"The hand job definitely doesn't happen enough in adult bedrooms," says Vanessa Marin , a licensed sex therapist in Los Angeles. "It’s a huge shame because a hand job is a great way to bring pleasure to your partner."
The reasons are two-fold: One, he gets the opportunity to watch his sexy partner (you) take the reins on something he typically does himself. And two, when you do something that you don't engage in often, the act becomes infinitely hotter. Simply because it's novel.
"Our brains crave newness," Marin says—even for something that's totally old-school.
So here's how to give a good hand job, in case you (a) forgot, or (b) skipped that step on your way to be becoming a full-blown sex goddess...
Good sex starts with knowing what you and your partner want—and being able to talk about it. The hand job, despite its "basic" nature, is no exception.
"The easiest way to find out what works for him is to ask him how he likes to touch himself," says Holly Richmond , PhD, a certified sex therapist and licensed marriage therapist with practices in L.A., New Jersey, and Portland, Oregon. "Have him show you what he does when he's on his own, and really watch."
Not only will you get a general idea of the speed and motion he uses, you'll also likely be turned on.
"For many women [and men], watching their partner masturbate is a huge turn-on," Richmond adds. And getting in the mood to give a good handy is half the battle (amirite?).
Every man and every penis is different (obvs), but for hand-job purposes, you can divide them into two camps: circumcised and uncircumcised .
Circumcised penises (a.k.a. ones that have had the foreskin removed) are used to being touched at the tip, so you may want to spend extra time on that area, Richmond says.
Uncircumcised penises, however, can be extremely sensitive around the hood (because they're not usually exposed). So with this type, you definitely want to see how aggressively he tugs on himself before you jump in. He may not pull the foreskin down much, so take note.
If you haven't figured out by now that lube makes everything better, maybe you will now.
"When you're using your hands instead of your mouth or vagina, which are wet in nature, you need lubricant to minimize friction from skin-to-skin contact," Marin explains. "The hand job will become much, much smoother and easier for you and much more enjoyable for him."
Of course, you don't have to be a total traditionalist with your hand job. "There's no reason you can't use a little bit of spit to add moisture," adds Richmond. Just know that whereas spit dries/evaporates quickly, a good lube won't.
"A big 'issue' that comes up from men is that women are too delicate with the penis," Marin says. It's not really your fault: "Since the clitoris is really sensitive, we tend to approach the penis with more sensitivity than necessary. You can be a lot firmer than you think."
Of course, you don't want to squeeze your guy so hard that his eggplant actually turns purple. So a good way to tell? "When your partner is hard, wrap your hand around his penis and gradually increase the pressure. As you do so, have him tell you when it’s too much," suggests Marin.
You'll very likely be surprised by how much pressure he actually wants.
Chances are, your guy is used to getting himself off with a pretty straightforward up-and-down motion. (I mean, he's been doing this since, what, age 11? He's got it down pat.)
So when you're giving him a hand job, simple is better. "A lot of women get overly complicated with technique," Marin says, "which can be a little too much for him."
Her advice: Switch things up a bit every minute-ish. That doesn't mean stop what you're doing and restart with an entirely different type of touch, but "make a slight tweak, like using a little more pressure or going a little slower or faster," she says.
Have two or three different techniques that you can alternate, and gradually transition between them.
For example, try cupping your whole hand around the base of his penis and doing a slight twisting motion (again, with lube!) as you move his shaft up and down. Then switch to sliding just your thumb and pointer finger (imagine the "okay" hand signal) up and down his penis, faster.
Speaking of technique, one way to make him finish fast (that is sorta the goal when your arms get tired, right?) is to bring both hands to the penis party.
"He's most likely used to just using one main hand when he masturbates, so if you use two, you're adding excitement and stimulation right off the bat," Richmond notes.
Plus, using two hands shows you're really, uh, invested in giving a good performance. "He will be much more into the hand job if he can easily tell that you are, too," says Marin. (True words.)
By this, I mean (mostly) his balls.
"Don't leave the balls out of it, unless you know he's not into ball play," Marin says. Balls are usually pretty simple: "Either cradle them softly in one hand, rub your fingers around them, or lightly stroke the area in between the two testicles, which is super-sensitive."
You could also try spreading your hand so that you grasp his balls between your fingers (do. not. squeeze.) or grazing a finger from the top of his ballsack down, she adds.
And don't stop there: "The area between his penis and anus, the perineum, has tons of nerve endings, so you can touch there, too," Richmond says. He could also like a little butt action —but always ask first. Never ass-ume (heh).
For circumcised penises, stroking the area where his head meets his shaft, as well as the very tip, can be extremely stimulating for him, as well. Again, focus your attention where he does himself and you're good.
When one (or both) of you is naked, verbalizing when something doesn't feel good can be awkward, if not downright awful. But communicating about what you don't like is super important—especially in the case of a hand job, when you could actually cause him some pain.
Ideally, your partner will tell you when he's uncomfortable or just not into something, but either way, "pay attention to his body language, which will tell you everything about how it feels," says Richmond. That includes his facial expressions, (happy) moans, pace of breath, and—the obvious—strength of his erection.
In case you were wondering, "it's perfectly possible to use a hand job as the main sex event rather than just foreplay," Richmond continues. "We all want to be touched—it creates an opportunity for a whole new level of intimacy."
So there you have it, folks: A good hand job is finally in your, ahem, hands...and hopefully will be for the rest of your adult life.
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It's all about that consistent rhythm.
Hand jobs are seriously underrated. At the same time, they're something many people without penises worry about getting right . It's definitely worth asking your penis-having partner what they like in an HJ - what speed, pressure and motion works for them. Because sometimes, you just cba with penetrative sex and there is nothing wrong with that, at all.
Here, some people with penises have taken to Reddit to explain what makes a damn fine hand shandy.
1. "Flat palms. Both hands starting at the collarbone, down the chest and stomach, then along either side of his cock, and out along his inner thighs is nice. Or shorter caresses, along the inner thighs away from the top down toward his knees or, even better, starting at the inner thigh above the knees, up toward his balls , then ending with fingertips or light fingernails along his scrotum. Mix it up!
" Edging has an inherent rhythm to it. Stimulation building up to the breaking point, then backing off just enough to maintain a plateau of pleasure (this involves backing off way more than you think, if he's close to cumming - dial it back to just a few light touches, maybe some sucking on just the very tip of his cock). Then building back up, and backing off again. I really love this more than anything else." [via]
2. "It all feels good. A good tug is important. You can dual-wield it and apply a firmly-pressured stroke with one hand, while relegating the other hand to a lubed rub mainly using the palm of your hand, in a kind of circular motion . Try to keep a constant rhythm." [via]
3. " Stroke it and don't be afraid that you're going to hurt it (you can hurt it. Don't bend it or bite it). Seriously, the chances of you hurting the peen from a thorough stroke are unlikely. The sack and its contents are where you should show caution." [via]
4. "I personally like lots of teasing at first. Slow soft strokes, light scratches with the nails and light caresses with the fingertips. Lots of attention to the inner thighs and testicles, with the occasional light stroke up and down the shaft. Mix up the fingertips and flat palm. I also personally love light touches (at first) around my butthole (but, check first - not all guys like ass play.). As things escalate, stronger strokes up and down my cock, fingertip in my asshole, more ball play. Attitude makes a huge difference - sometimes the more dominant eye contact, "I'm here to work you over" attitude is fun, other times the more submissive "What can I do to please you" attitude is fun." [via]
5. "Use different strokes/touches and don't forget the balls . Keep him guessing, and build anticipation until the final countdown." [via]
6. " Rhythm is crucial. You can speed up or slow down as a tease, but at least stay somewhat consistent. And work the whole junk area, its a massage." [via]
7. "Slow down and touch more softly. If you're stroking his shaft with a strong grip, you'll make him come. You can communicate about it while you're doing i t, and this is fun (and can be a huge turn on)." [via]
8. "Best way is with careful enthusiasm, and if necessary, some lube . Make sure he knows he can tell you what he wants. Thumb should be towards the head, little finger towards the base; thumb and forefinger basically moving up and down around the top of the shaft/ back of the head. Use some wrist, don't just go at like a jackhammer with your bicep/tricep controlling everything." [via]

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