How To Give A Guy A Blowjob

How To Give A Guy A Blowjob
9 Blow Job Secrets Men REALLY Wish You Knew
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By lemondrop — Written on Oct 27, 2016
Being an oral sex goddess may not be your top priority, but it's a pretty handy (or, er, mouthy) skill to have. After all, who doesn't want to be the kind of gal whose mere memory can bring a wistful smile to any ex's face?
And if that doesn't convince you to upgrade your oral sex game , consider the benefits of potential reciprocity.
Check out these expert tips on how to give a blow job — a no-holds-barred, EPIC blow job — from research sexologist, sex journalist, and The Sex Bible author Susan Crain Bakos .
If this isn't your long-term guy, he should be wearing a condom during a blow job. And while he can probably put it on with his eyes closed it's sexier if you do it ... with your mouth.
Bakos advises rubbing a small amount of lubricant onto him before putting a non-lubricated condom, tip facing in, in your mouth with the the ring in front of your teeth. Use your tongue to keep the tip in place against the roof of your mouth as you lower your head and use your lips to gently unroll the condom down the shaft.
Kiss and lick his inner thighs while you tease his testicles — lightly scratch, pull, roll them around, and pull them one at a time in your mouth. While you're attending to his balls, run your fingers up and down his shaft.
"Once he's erect, get comfortable, either kneeling beside him, between his legs or perpendicular to his body. Or bring him to the edge of the bed and kneel on the floor. Wet your lips and be sure that your lips cover your teeth. Run your tongue around the head of his penis to moisten it."
"Hold the base of his penis firmly in one hand," Bakos continues. "With the other hand, form a circle of your thumb and forefinger — what sex expert Lou Paget calls 'the ring and the seal' — to prevent him from going in further than you would like. Twist that hand along the shaft as you move your mouth up and down."
Bakos recommends swirling your tongue around the head, then working it in long strokes up and down the shaft. Lick along the ridge of the corona (the ridge connecting head and shaft) while working the shaft with your hands.
"Strum the frenulum (the elastic band of tissue on the underside of the shaft) with your tongue, then lick the raphe (the seam on the underside of the shaft, continuing into the scrotum). Do at least 10 or 20 seconds of this showy move: Repeatedly pull his penis into your mouth, then push it out, using suction, while keeping that tongue in motion.
Bakos also recommends making eye contact from time to time, which will help you connect with your partner.
Is he packing more heat than your sensitive gag reflex can handle? "Concentrate attention during fellatio on the head of his penis and the first third of the shaft," Bakos says. "Focus on his perineum (the spot between his butt and balls), and he won't notice or care that you don't take the entire shaft into your mouth. Plus, Lou's ring and seal trick fools him into thinking you are taking in more than you are."
Some days, a blowjob is just an amuse bouche to warm him up for intercourse. "Follow his lead if he pulls back from stimulation," Bakos says. "He knows his body. Put his hand on your vagina and let him stimulate you until his excitement subsides a bit."
Of course, sometimes you want him to get off. To ensure a powerful climax, Bakos suggests applying light pressure to his perineum using your thumb or finger.
"And if you want to give him something really special when he's near ejaculation" she says, "Take his pelvis in both hands and rock him toward you so that he goes deeper into your mouth."
Once you've got the basics committed to muscle memory, you can put more of your attention to getting off while you're giving head ? Really!
Whether you swallow is a personal choice. Bakos recommends swallowing as it makes "a man feel totally accepted and loved."
The simplest posture for this, Bakos says, is lying back with your head off the bed. "Your mouth and throat will form a smooth line. Have him straddle your face for the elegant finish to a perfect blow job."
If you don't want to swallow, you can have him leave the condom on as he ejaculates or suggest that he finish on your breasts.
OK, but what if it's apparent he's NOT going to orgasm?
Let's say you've followed these tips and he's still not coming. Don't take it personally, and don't beat a dead horse (or a limp noodle).
"Sometimes the world's greatest blow job won't get him up or keep him there. If he's been drinking heavily, is on medication, or ejaculated 10 minutes ago, give your mouth a rest and put his into action. Maybe it's your turn today, not his."
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Blow job, fellatio, giving head, going down: whatever you call it, it doesn’t take a PhD in anatomy to understand why receiving oral sex if you have a penis might feel amazing. The warm and wet sensation of a mouth on the nerve-dense shaft and head of a penis, combined with the sounds and visual of the act, can be crazy pleasurable.

Receiving a blow job is good—but giving head can be gratifying, too. One reason why: while you’re performing oral sex, an erotic interplay of dominance and submission takes place.

“On the one hand, your partner has the power to thrust into your mouth and throat, but on the other, you have all the power, as your teeth are in close proximity to their most sensitive parts,” sexologist Jessica "Dr. Jess" O'Reilly , PhD, host of the Drive Him Wild With Pleasure video course, tells Health . And then there’s the thrill of watching your partner receive pleasure, she says.

Since giving and getting a blow job both have benefits, it pays to pick up some pointers for making blow jobs even more comfortable, exciting, and orgasmic. These are the top tips from Dr. Jess and board certified sexologist Lanae St. John , author of Read Me: A Parental Primer for ‘The Talk.'

You probably know this, but blow jobs don’t literally entail blowing on the penis, say, the way you’d cool off soup—unless your partner likes that. Instead, Dr. Jess tells Health that blow jobs typically incorporate some combination of licking, sucking, kissing, deep-throating, and hand action. “Every person has their own preferences, so it’s less about technique and more about asking what they like,” she says.

If you can come right out and ask your partner about their preferences, that's probably easiest. But sometimes giving a blow job is more of a fact-finding mission, and you have to try things out and gauge your partner's response. Dr. Jess recommends trying this: tuck your lips under your teeth, "clamp down for extra pressure, and then slide up and down the shaft."

Another tip: Flick your tongue against the tip of penis, or along the frenulum—the sensitive notch of skin on the underbelly of the head. Based on your partner's response, you'll be able to see if they enjoy light pressure here, and if it's okay to advance to putting the entire head in your mouth...or if they prefer that you focus more on the shaft.

“There’s a misconception that you have to be able to deep-throat to give an enjoyable blow job. But that’s not true,” says Dr. Jess. “If you’re nervous about gagging, not enjoying yourself, or uncomfortable, this will affect your lover’s enjoyment.” If you are going to try taking the head and shaft in your mouth but are worried about gagging, just go slow, and stop at any point you feel that gag reflex kicking in.

A blow job isn't all about the mouth. In fact, adding hand moves introduces a different level or pressure and sensation, magnifying the pleasure your partner is already feeling. It's also a good go-to if deep-throating isn't your thing. “Using your hands to stroke the shaft while using your tongue and lips on just the tip, will create a similar sensation,” she says. This is also a good tip for when your mouth or jaw gets tired...just switch to making a fist around the shaft and moving it up and down, or cup your partner's balls in your hand gently.

Speaking of testicles, it’s understandable if most of your attention is on the penis. But don’t forget about the other erogenous zones nearby, like the balls, perineum, and anus.

“The testicles are incredibly nerve-dense,” says Dr. Jess. Try creating a sucking sensation against the delicate skin with your mouth, or using your hand to massage the balls to wow your partner, she suggests.

You can also lick or caress the perineum, the area between the testicles and the anus. (Not everyone likes action here, so ask first or go very slowly.) Applying pressure here with your thumb or the flat edge of your tongue can stimulate the prostate, which is often called the male G-spot because of how intense stimulation here can feel. “Try using a vibrating toy against this spot,” suggests Dr. Jess.

You can also stimulate your partner's anus while you’re giving a blow job by using a finger or tongue, says Dr. Jess. Some people get squeamish about having their anus played with, so get explicit permission before incorporating rimming or anal fingering. But if your partner consents, trust, you’ll blow their mind.

There's more than one way to give a blow job besides on your knees or with your partner lying flat. Your partner can lie back with their legs up or with bent knees. Or have them lie on their stomach with their hips up and legs out slightly, as you crouch behind them and treat them to a from-behind blow job.

Dr. Jess recommends "the giraffe," which entails you lying on your back with your head hanging over the bed and your partner straddling you from a standing position. You can also try "facesitter," she says, which has you lying on your back and your partner kneeling over your lips.

For mutual pleasure try classic 69, or even sideways 69—so you’re both on your sides but facing opposite direction.

It’s a myth that spitters are quitters. “There is zero pressure to swallow if that’s not something you want to do,” says Dr. Jess. Maybe it's because you don’t like the taste of semen; maybe you find it hotter for your partner to orgasm somewhere else on your body. Any reason is a valid reason, she says.

If you don’t want to swallow, you have a few options. You can tell your partner where you want it (for example, “I want it all over my chest” or “I want to see you finish in your hand"), you can catch the semen in your mouth and then spit it into a towel, or you can ask your partner to wear a flavored condom.

If you do want to swallow, Dr. Jess has a few suggestions to enhance the experience. “Take the penis deep into your throat and when they come, gaze seductively into their eyes,” she advises. Or when your partner tells you they’re close, suck only on the head, so you can control how much you swallow at a time.

Mutual pleasure is always a win in the bedroom. While giving a blow job, ask your partner to turn you on, too: have them talk dirty to you or tell you what they're feeling, or suggest bringing a vibrator or vibrating ring into the mix, which you can press against your clitoris or put in your vagina so you're both moving closer to orgasm.

And above all, always follow the number one rule of blow jobs: only give one when you want to and your partner wants you to. “You are not obligated to give anyone a blow job or perform any act you don’t want to,” St. John tells Health . Any partner who makes you feel obligated to give one probably isn’t a keeper. “There are plenty of other acts and activities you can engage in to experience (mutual) sexual pleasure,” says St. John. True that!

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Hi, I’m Helena Nista, I’m one of Australia’s leading Sex Experts and Tantra Teachers. I’m a Sex Therapist, Author, Speaker and Lover. I’m a certified sex coach and Tantra practitioner.

I’m passionate about helping my clients become the best lovers they can possibly be, overcome any sexual difficulties and create great sex lives.

Visit my website to learn more and to browse my online courses and services:
https://helenanista.com/
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In researching my story The Number One Thing He Wants in Bed , the majority of women I talked to wanted to one thing: How to give a guy the best blow job. Some women and guys were eager to offer their best tips.
Speak up. "The first thing I do to give the best blow job is compliment him by saying 'You have a humongous penis.' He's feeling so confident and manly by then that anything I do after is gold." —Jodi, 29
Slooow down. "So many girls just want to pop it in and get it over with, but if you really want to make your man's toes curl, pretend the tip of his penis is a lollipop and do the same thing you would if it was: lick it!" —Jonathan, 26
Use your saliva. "It's a natural lubricant—the wetter the better," and that makes things much more pleasurable for him. —Brian, 30
Focus up top. "Most girls assume you have to work the whole shaft, but I have found that the tip is supersensitive. You can drive them crazy just by playing with it a bit." —Vanessa, 33
Reach up. "While you're downtown, pinch a nipple. It's a multi-sensation tactic that gets guys going." —Brian, 35
Swivel your hands. "As you put the top of the penis in your mouth, use your hand to stroke the shaft of the penis up and down, clockwise and then counterclockwise in a fluid motion." —Rosemary, 29
Play with the boys. "Put pressure on the seam of his balls and run your tongue up it until you reconnect with the penis. You can also take a ball into your mouth—very gently!" —Joanna, 27
Bring him closer to orgasm. "Rubbing or pressing his perenium [the super-sensitive area between his balls and anus] will derive more pleasure from any guy—straight or gay. It's worked for me for 12 years and counting." —Scott, 26
Don't stop. "Right after he orgasms, keep him in your mouth, and he will be moaning, groaning, speaking in tongues and saying hallelujah all at the same time. —Jonathan
What do you gals think? Have any go-to moves of your own that your man can't get enough of?
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