How To Give A Great Blowjob

How To Give A Great Blowjob

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Whether you're giving a blowjob as foreplay or the main act, oral sex is a great way to intimately connect with your partner. And while it's important to take your partner's pleasure into consideration, it's just as important to make sure you're prioritizing your own pleasure. This means only giving your partner a blowjob if you want to give them one, choosing positions that are comfortable for you, and not being afraid to say "no" if you don't like the way something feels or how it is escalating.
Fortunately, there are a lot of ways to help your partner reach a delightfully intense orgasm while also enjoying yourself. If you don't know where to start, you aren't alone. Trying to make sense of a whole ocean of blowjob tips can feel daunting and distinctly unsexy.
To make sure you can confidently please your partner and yourself, POPSUGAR spoke with a few experts about how to give blowjobs that are supremely enjoyable for everyone involved. The most important thing to keep in mind? There's no one right way to do it. The easiest way to give good blowjobs is to stay in tune with each other by communicating, listening, and feeling your bodies react. Keep reading to get a full rundown on mind-blowing blowjob tips, and get ready for some serious compliments.
You don't want to do too much too quickly, so think of teasing as foreplay for foreplay. "Beginning with the hottest move makes it difficult to build toward a crescendo and maintain the excitement and endurance needed to reach climax," Jess O'Reilly, PhD, resident sexologist for Astroglide , tells POPSUGAR. "First, rile [your partner] into a frenzy with a feather-light touch, teasing licks, wet kisses, shallow sucks, and heavy breathing."
Kristen Mark , PhD, sex and relationship researcher, educator, therapist, and contributing expert for the sexual wellness app Coral , echoes this: "Once [their] arousal is heightened, slowly take [them] into your mouth and use your hand to provide pressure on the shaft," she says.
And remember to watch out for those teeth. "For the first touch, keep in mind that the head or tip of the penis is extremely sensitive for most," Britney Blair , PsyD, cofounder and chief science officer of sexual wellness app Lover , explains. "Soft tongues and wet lips feel much better."
(Blair is board certified in sexual medicine.)
While "oral sex" and "blowjob" make it sound like a mouth-focused activity, experts agree that your hands play a crucial role. "Your mouth and tongue provide wet and warmth, but your hands provide tightness and rhythm," Jill McDevitt , PhD, MEd, licensed sex therapist and resident sexologist for CalExotics , says. O'Reilly recommends using your fingers on the outside of your lips, squeezing them together as you suck. "Your jaw will get a break, and you'll create an extra-tight squeeze that will make [their] toes curl," she says. This is also a great alternative if you don't enjoy the taste or sensations of a blowjob.
Another option, she adds, is to "create a ring around the base of the penis or use two hands to create a tight band around the base and both testes." Mark says to make sure you don't ignore the shaft. "Think about your hand and your mouth as two tools working together, but separately, for ultimate pleasure," she says. "Create one sensation with your hands, like a gentle twisting on the shaft, and another with your mouth, like a more intense sucking motion on the glans of the penis."
There's no "right" way to give a blowjob. Everyone has different preferences and pleasure points , so feel free to be creative, depending on what is comfortable for you. "Most blowjobs involve placing the tongue against the underside of the penis as you suck," O'Reilly says. "But the underside of the tongue offers a soft, gentle texture worth exploring." She recommends alternating between shallow sucks with the underside of your tongue on the upper side of the penis and deeper swallows in the traditional way.
Blair suggests trying long licks up the shaft, gentle kisses with only your lips, or circling your tongue around the tip of the penis. "You could even stroke the shaft of the penis while licking the head or fondling the testicles," she explains. To really kick things up a notch, McDevitt recommends holding a small vibrator on your cheek or under your chin so your partner can feel the vibration during the blowjob.
Remember, the penis doesn't have to be the only area involved in a blowjob. If you're comfortable, "using your mouth on the testicles and moving down to the perineum (the area between the testicles and the anus) is often just as pleasurable for many people as stimulating the penis," Blair says.
O'Reilly recommends using two fingers or a toy to press into the area. "Increase the pressure as [their] arousal intensifies, and stroke firmly back and forth (a tiny movement will do) in rhythm with your sucking," she says. While this area may be uncharted territory for you or your partner, it's worth exploring.
The more you enjoy it, the more they'll enjoy it. "The best tip I can give you is learn to love it," Blair says. "People who enjoy going down on their lover seem to be the most skilled at delivering pleasure to their partners." That said, this kind of blowjob confidence doesn't always happen overnight. If you're feeling insecure, talk to your partner ahead of time about what they like and don't like and discuss what you're most comfortable with. After, find a comfortable position, take a deep breath, and enjoy the power of pleasing your partner with oral.
— Additional reporting by Theresa Massony and Taylor Andrews

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Blow job, fellatio, giving head, going down: whatever you call it, it doesn’t take a PhD in anatomy to understand why receiving oral sex if you have a penis might feel amazing. The warm and wet sensation of a mouth on the nerve-dense shaft and head of a penis, combined with the sounds and visual of the act, can be crazy pleasurable.

Receiving a blow job is good—but giving head can be gratifying, too. One reason why: while you’re performing oral sex, an erotic interplay of dominance and submission takes place.

“On the one hand, your partner has the power to thrust into your mouth and throat, but on the other, you have all the power, as your teeth are in close proximity to their most sensitive parts,” sexologist Jessica "Dr. Jess" O'Reilly , PhD, host of the Drive Him Wild With Pleasure video course, tells Health . And then there’s the thrill of watching your partner receive pleasure, she says.

Since giving and getting a blow job both have benefits, it pays to pick up some pointers for making blow jobs even more comfortable, exciting, and orgasmic. These are the top tips from Dr. Jess and board certified sexologist Lanae St. John , author of Read Me: A Parental Primer for ‘The Talk.'

You probably know this, but blow jobs don’t literally entail blowing on the penis, say, the way you’d cool off soup—unless your partner likes that. Instead, Dr. Jess tells Health that blow jobs typically incorporate some combination of licking, sucking, kissing, deep-throating, and hand action. “Every person has their own preferences, so it’s less about technique and more about asking what they like,” she says.

If you can come right out and ask your partner about their preferences, that's probably easiest. But sometimes giving a blow job is more of a fact-finding mission, and you have to try things out and gauge your partner's response. Dr. Jess recommends trying this: tuck your lips under your teeth, "clamp down for extra pressure, and then slide up and down the shaft."

Another tip: Flick your tongue against the tip of penis, or along the frenulum—the sensitive notch of skin on the underbelly of the head. Based on your partner's response, you'll be able to see if they enjoy light pressure here, and if it's okay to advance to putting the entire head in your mouth...or if they prefer that you focus more on the shaft.

“There’s a misconception that you have to be able to deep-throat to give an enjoyable blow job. But that’s not true,” says Dr. Jess. “If you’re nervous about gagging, not enjoying yourself, or uncomfortable, this will affect your lover’s enjoyment.” If you are going to try taking the head and shaft in your mouth but are worried about gagging, just go slow, and stop at any point you feel that gag reflex kicking in.

A blow job isn't all about the mouth. In fact, adding hand moves introduces a different level or pressure and sensation, magnifying the pleasure your partner is already feeling. It's also a good go-to if deep-throating isn't your thing. “Using your hands to stroke the shaft while using your tongue and lips on just the tip, will create a similar sensation,” she says. This is also a good tip for when your mouth or jaw gets tired...just switch to making a fist around the shaft and moving it up and down, or cup your partner's balls in your hand gently.

Speaking of testicles, it’s understandable if most of your attention is on the penis. But don’t forget about the other erogenous zones nearby, like the balls, perineum, and anus.

“The testicles are incredibly nerve-dense,” says Dr. Jess. Try creating a sucking sensation against the delicate skin with your mouth, or using your hand to massage the balls to wow your partner, she suggests.

You can also lick or caress the perineum, the area between the testicles and the anus. (Not everyone likes action here, so ask first or go very slowly.) Applying pressure here with your thumb or the flat edge of your tongue can stimulate the prostate, which is often called the male G-spot because of how intense stimulation here can feel. “Try using a vibrating toy against this spot,” suggests Dr. Jess.

You can also stimulate your partner's anus while you’re giving a blow job by using a finger or tongue, says Dr. Jess. Some people get squeamish about having their anus played with, so get explicit permission before incorporating rimming or anal fingering. But if your partner consents, trust, you’ll blow their mind.

There's more than one way to give a blow job besides on your knees or with your partner lying flat. Your partner can lie back with their legs up or with bent knees. Or have them lie on their stomach with their hips up and legs out slightly, as you crouch behind them and treat them to a from-behind blow job.

Dr. Jess recommends "the giraffe," which entails you lying on your back with your head hanging over the bed and your partner straddling you from a standing position. You can also try "facesitter," she says, which has you lying on your back and your partner kneeling over your lips.

For mutual pleasure try classic 69, or even sideways 69—so you’re both on your sides but facing opposite direction.

It’s a myth that spitters are quitters. “There is zero pressure to swallow if that’s not something you want to do,” says Dr. Jess. Maybe it's because you don’t like the taste of semen; maybe you find it hotter for your partner to orgasm somewhere else on your body. Any reason is a valid reason, she says.

If you don’t want to swallow, you have a few options. You can tell your partner where you want it (for example, “I want it all over my chest” or “I want to see you finish in your hand"), you can catch the semen in your mouth and then spit it into a towel, or you can ask your partner to wear a flavored condom.

If you do want to swallow, Dr. Jess has a few suggestions to enhance the experience. “Take the penis deep into your throat and when they come, gaze seductively into their eyes,” she advises. Or when your partner tells you they’re close, suck only on the head, so you can control how much you swallow at a time.

Mutual pleasure is always a win in the bedroom. While giving a blow job, ask your partner to turn you on, too: have them talk dirty to you or tell you what they're feeling, or suggest bringing a vibrator or vibrating ring into the mix, which you can press against your clitoris or put in your vagina so you're both moving closer to orgasm.

And above all, always follow the number one rule of blow jobs: only give one when you want to and your partner wants you to. “You are not obligated to give anyone a blow job or perform any act you don’t want to,” St. John tells Health . Any partner who makes you feel obligated to give one probably isn’t a keeper. “There are plenty of other acts and activities you can engage in to experience (mutual) sexual pleasure,” says St. John. True that!

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