How To Give A Good Hand Job

How To Give A Good Hand Job

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Here are some fun ways to switch up your handjob technique, including the “waterfall” motion and adding a few sex toys.
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Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist and writer with over 20 years of experience specializing in sex therapy. Her goal as a coach and as a journalist: To help you stop feeling embarrassed and start having way more fun in the bedroom. She studied human sexuality at Brown University and has been... Read more
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Sex should be fun, but it can also be complicated. Welcome to Sexual Resolution , a biweekly column by sex therapist Vanessa Marin answering your most confidential questions to help you achieve a healthy, joyful sex life. Here, she answers a question about becoming a handjob pro.
DEAR VANESSA: I have the handjob basics down, but I'm looking for some advanced techniques to take it to the next level. What do you suggest? — Needs a Hand With Handjobs, 24
DEAR NAHWH: I'm so glad to get this question because I think handjobs are criminally underrated. So many people have this idea that a person can touch their own penis better than anyone else can so bothering with them is useless, but that’s a silly reason to avoid what can be one of the most pleasurable techniques in your arsenal. Once you’ve mastered the basics, there are plenty of fun ways to take it to the next level.
First, I recommend experimenting with new hand motions. The basic up-and-down movement can work pretty well when you’re first getting started, but once you’ve figured out the pressure and speed that your partner enjoys, it’s time to explore new techniques. Here are a few to try:
You may also want to get other parts of your partner's body involved. Most people go straight for the shaft of the penis, but you can try paying attention to other areas as well. Try playing with the testicles — take them into one hand and very gently squeeze, or try very gently pulling the entire scrotum away from the body. Lightly scratch your fingertips against the skin of the scrotum. (Notice how I keep using the words “gently” and “lightly”? You want to be careful with the balls.)
You can also try playing with the perineum, which is the strip of skin between the balls and anus. This area is super sensitive, so your partner might enjoy some light stroking or pressure with your knuckle. If they're game, you may also want to try incorporating some anal play . You can gently press a fingertip against their anus or slide a finger up and down the butt crack. If they want more, make sure to add lube to your finger before gently sliding it in. Go slow and keep checking in about what feels best.
Speaking of lube, that can be another way to up your handjob game. I think lube is nonnegotiable for handjobs, but the reality is that most people just don’t use it. If you don’t already use lube, start now. It will make the act so much more enjoyable. If you already use it, try experimenting with different lubes. Silicone-based or even anal-sex-specific lubes can feel awesome with a handjob.
Another idea is to use a toy to assist with your handjob. If you have some sort of regular relationship with your handjob recipient, you could try investing in a male masturbator together. Even though these kinds of toys are called “masturbators,” they’re still a lot of fun to use together. Check out Tenga's Flip series or egg series .
In case you're still looking for a few other ideas, it's helpful to remember that the sky is the limit. For example, you could blindfold your partner while you give them a handjob — not being able to see what you’re doing can make the experience that much more exciting. Additionally, you should try edging. Get them right to the edge of an orgasm (you may have to ask that they let you know when they're close), then stop until they cool down a bit. Then get them right back to the edge. Repeat as many times as they can stand.
Roleplay during handjobs can also make them much more fun; pretend to be a master or a servant, or see what other scenarios you can come up with. And above all, have fun with each other.
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Vanessa Marin is a licensed sex therapist based in Los Angeles. You can find her on Instagram , Twitter , and her website .
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It's all about that consistent rhythm.
Hand jobs are seriously underrated. At the same time, they're something many people without penises worry about getting right . It's definitely worth asking your penis-having partner what they like in an HJ - what speed, pressure and motion works for them. Because sometimes, you just cba with penetrative sex and there is nothing wrong with that, at all.
Here, some people with penises have taken to Reddit to explain what makes a damn fine hand shandy.
1. "Flat palms. Both hands starting at the collarbone, down the chest and stomach, then along either side of his cock, and out along his inner thighs is nice. Or shorter caresses, along the inner thighs away from the top down toward his knees or, even better, starting at the inner thigh above the knees, up toward his balls , then ending with fingertips or light fingernails along his scrotum. Mix it up!
" Edging has an inherent rhythm to it. Stimulation building up to the breaking point, then backing off just enough to maintain a plateau of pleasure (this involves backing off way more than you think, if he's close to cumming - dial it back to just a few light touches, maybe some sucking on just the very tip of his cock). Then building back up, and backing off again. I really love this more than anything else." [via]
2. "It all feels good. A good tug is important. You can dual-wield it and apply a firmly-pressured stroke with one hand, while relegating the other hand to a lubed rub mainly using the palm of your hand, in a kind of circular motion . Try to keep a constant rhythm." [via]
3. " Stroke it and don't be afraid that you're going to hurt it (you can hurt it. Don't bend it or bite it). Seriously, the chances of you hurting the peen from a thorough stroke are unlikely. The sack and its contents are where you should show caution." [via]
4. "I personally like lots of teasing at first. Slow soft strokes, light scratches with the nails and light caresses with the fingertips. Lots of attention to the inner thighs and testicles, with the occasional light stroke up and down the shaft. Mix up the fingertips and flat palm. I also personally love light touches (at first) around my butthole (but, check first - not all guys like ass play.). As things escalate, stronger strokes up and down my cock, fingertip in my asshole, more ball play. Attitude makes a huge difference - sometimes the more dominant eye contact, "I'm here to work you over" attitude is fun, other times the more submissive "What can I do to please you" attitude is fun." [via]
5. "Use different strokes/touches and don't forget the balls . Keep him guessing, and build anticipation until the final countdown." [via]
6. " Rhythm is crucial. You can speed up or slow down as a tease, but at least stay somewhat consistent. And work the whole junk area, its a massage." [via]
7. "Slow down and touch more softly. If you're stroking his shaft with a strong grip, you'll make him come. You can communicate about it while you're doing i t, and this is fun (and can be a huge turn on)." [via]
8. "Best way is with careful enthusiasm, and if necessary, some lube . Make sure he knows he can tell you what he wants. Thumb should be towards the head, little finger towards the base; thumb and forefinger basically moving up and down around the top of the shaft/ back of the head. Use some wrist, don't just go at like a jackhammer with your bicep/tricep controlling everything." [via]

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Updated on May 4, 2022

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If you aren’t giving your man an amazing dose of hand jobs then it is almost certain that he is resenting it in some way. No issues today you’ll learn exactly how to give a hand job, a good earth-shattering hand job he could only dream of.
In this amazing guide on how to give a hand job we will discuss plenty of techniques that you can use for male genital massage to get your man aroused and to climax in a matter of minutes – or if you feel like it, seconds or hours!
There are several things you need to do before getting started on your man’s member.
While he doesn’t have to do as much grooming and freshening up for a hand job (think of it as a great way to please your man after he’s mowed the lawn), you may have to put in a little more effort on your part.
Nothing can be more frustrating than for a man to be quite aroused but having his penis get snagged by a hangnail mid-job.
Generally, women have soft hands but if you notice any calluses or rough spots, you might want to take care of those first before beginning the massage.
Get some good lotion and let the lanolin soak in so your hands will the soft as an infants.
Last but not least, be aware if you have any cuts or open sores on your hand.
If you do and aren’t sure if your partner has a sexually transmitted disease (or if you know that he does), be sure to wear latex or vinyl gloves for the job.
Gloves are also great if you do have calluses or rough spots on your hands and most guys love them (contrary to popular belief) because it gives the massage a slicker, more uniform feeling.
No, lotion simply won’t do – it is too thick and gloppy!
Think twice before using oil if you plan on having intercourse using a condom later (it can break down a condom quickly).
Lube isn’t that expensive and works much better for the task at hand (no pun intended) – make sure you get the water based lubricant as well.
Have it ready by the bed (or venue of choice) so that when you begin, you can easily coat your hands and your partner’s penis with the substance.
You can put it in a bucket of hot water or even a small crock pot so it stays warm throughout the hand job. You will most likely need to reapply throughout the massage.
There are now all sorts of “fantasy” lubes on the market now.
You can get lube that warms, lube that cools, is flavored, is organic (no chemicals) or even desensitizes which is good if your man comes too quickly with your touch.
Your own spit is great and easy to come by! Mixed with some of his precum (should he be one of the guys who produces it) makes for very good, not to mention convenient, “natural” mixture of slippery stuff!
Note: IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE OIL – one recommendation is to use grape seed oil.
It slides well and is all natural. You can pull it out of the cabinet in the kitchen for an impromptu hand job while dinner is simmering.:-)
This is actually a very important part regarding genital massage that is often given very little or no thought.
First of all, if your partner is not comfortable, his enjoyment will be hindered somewhat – making it more difficult for him to have an orgasm or the fantastic one you are planning to give.
If the woman is uncomfortable, she will tire of massaging her partner’s genitals more quickly and easily than if she were set up well and relaxed.
So, unless you are wanting the hand job to be “risky” or “surprising” (like in his office or in the woods), find a comfortable place in which to give your partner the genital massage.
You can also add extra comfort by propping either you or your partner (or both!) up on soft pillows.
Be sure to position yourself so that your hands and arms will not become tired easily.
The bed is an obvious choice but also consider a sofa (one that is protected or cleans up easily) or a office chairs that leans back.
Most men do like to lounge back while they are masturbating or receiving hand jobs as it is usually a comfortable position and allows for the thrusting of the hips.
We’ve established that is important to find a comfortable place for both you and your partner before embarking on a genital massage.
How do you know what is the right position? Experiment! You and your partner should work with different positions until you both find something comfortable.
* Standing with your partner facing you (you are both standing facing each other).
He’ll love to see the look on your face as you play with his cock . Look at his member like you are actually in love with it, that it is beautiful and wonderful (it really is one of the most amazing parts of the anatomy).
You enjoying the sight and feel of his manhood will be a huge turn on for him.
* Kneeling in front of your partner while he is sitting in a chair or on the edge of the bed (like fellatio).
* Sitting side by side on the couch or the bed (or other surface). If you reach over while he’s watching TV or a movie and jerk him off it will be one of his fantasies coming true.
* Sitting in between your partner’s legs while he is lying down. This is great for him as he can completely relax.
* Sitting beside your partner but leaning over in a way that you are facing his feet
* “Doggy Style” positioning. You can be either under him while he is in the position – or to the side of him.
Or have him spread his legs wide in this position and you can be behind him and grab his goodies from between his legs.
It is a great angle for you to touch and tease and play with his ball sac – which is extremely erotic for almost all men.
* Kneeling while your partner is standing. This position is often used in combination with a blow job but it can be used solely for a hand job. * Lying beside your partner.
If you undress he’ll be able to play with your breasts and you can even kiss while you stroke.
* Driving down the road (the recipient should NOT be the one behind the wheel!) or in your car at the drive in theater. Splurge for a limo with a privacy screen and make another fantasy come true.
* Have him sit on the edge of the bathtub – feet in the water, while you are in the tub stroking him like a mermaid.
* Try having him in the bathtub and you on the edge while substituting your “feet” for “hand” action and given him a “foot job” to change things up!
* Standing with your partner facing away from you (this is particularly fun if you slip up behind him, rubbing on him, then reach around and unzip his pants — never let him turn around — but work him to where he looks down and only sees your hand while the rest of your body is pressed into his).
He will have a free hand to reach around and explore between your legs without actually “seeing” you.
Women love this position because it can also be used with the SURPRISE “sneak into the shower and give him a hand job when he least expects it” act. Soap or shampoo on your hands will feel amazing to him when you try this move.
Although if soap or shampoo get inside his penis it can burn like the dickens, and will continue every time he pees for the next few days.
So, if you use soap or shampoo just stay away from his penis head. He’ll love the slippery suds on his shaft, balls and between his legs.
This is probably one of the best positions for bringing your guy to orgasm because if you are behind him your strokes and motions will be closer to how he has stroked himself to orgasm over the years.
Guys who frequently masturbate actually train their penis to come more easily with particular strokes or patterns.
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