How To Give A Good Blowjob
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Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST — Written by Adrienne Santos-Longhurst on September 12, 2019
Don’t be shy — 85 percentTrusted Source of adults have had oral sex at some point.
To help make sure you’re doing it to the best of your ability, we’re sharing the lowdown on what to do from start to finish.
Bodies are different. Forget what you’ve seen in porn, where the penis is all big, smooth as an eggplant, and praised for tasting “oh so good” as it’s handled by an equally perfect mouth.
We all have our own unique odor. Everything from what we eat to the soap we use can affect it. And you can’t expect to pull a penis out of the cramped confines of pants without some sweat or odor.
A quick shower is usually sufficient to keep things fresh down there. Any odor that’s left is natural and totally fine.
Don’t be afraid to suggest a shower beforehand! No one wants something smelly in their face.
Yep, genitals and semen have a taste. What does it taste like? You won’t know exactly until you try.
Just like our natural odor, different factors affect how we taste.
If someone has a funky taste, there are things they can do to help spruce it up.
Penises run the gamut when it comes to physical characteristics.
You’ve got circumcised or uncircumcised. Some are long, others are short. There are dark or pale ones, smooth or ridged ones.
Not all pubes are trim and tidy. Some people have an unruly bush, and that’s totally fine.
Oral sexually transmitted infections (STIs) exist. Any skin-to-skin contact or contact with bodily fluids can spread STIs.
And don’t let a healthy-looking package fool you. Not all STIs cause symptoms.
Lower your risk and give yourself a tasty treat by using flavored condoms.
You’re bound to have some Q’s right about now, so let’s start with some of the most pressing.
You don’t really need to tweak your game all that much for foreskin.
If you’re starting with your hands, let the foreskin move with your hand.
When you’re ready to move on, gently pull the foreskin downward to expose the head.
Gagging does not a good blow job make — though some might (literally) beg otherwise. You can avoid gagging by placing the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth to block your throat.
Only if you want to. You can still give them a mind-blowing beej without going deep. Maneuver it toward the roof of your mouth instead. Unless your partner’s an oral surgeon, they probably won’t know the diff.
Apart from taking a bite of it, there’s really no way to screw this up. Look for nonverbal signs of pleasure, like faster and heavier breathing or thrusting action.
If the radio silence is freaking you out, don’t be afraid to ask if it feels good. They’ll probably think it’s hot that you genuinely want to please them.
Use your hands. Alternating between hand and mouth is just as enjoyable!
This comes down to your comfort level. Discuss it with your partner beforehand.
Some people love the visual of finishing in someone’s mouth, but having them finish on your closed lips or chin can be just as hot if swallowing semen isn’t your thing.
Going too fast can make them feel like you just want to get it over with and come already.
Start off slow with light pressure, and slowly increase your pace. If they seem to be getting close to climax, stick with what you’re doing.
The hips don’t lie: Pay attention to what they’re doing while you’re going down. Thrusting, holding your head steady, or quivering are all signs that they’re loving it and getting closer to climax.
Eye contact is super hot, shows confidence (also super hot), and ups the intimacy factor.
Make sure to lock eyes often or even the entire time to create a connection that leaves a lasting impression long after the job is done.
It’s not a lick of gelato, so hearty “nom nom noms” aren’t necessary, but voicing your enthusiasm will be appreciated.
Moaning, heavy breathing, and even slurping show you’re into it. And the vibration from your mouth will feel amazing for them.
Take your lips on a tour of the genital region. The entire area is a place of wonderment and nerve endings longing to be explored.
Nearby attractions include the head, frenulum, scrotum, and inner thighs. The frenulum is the little ridge of skin on the underside of the penis where the shaft meets the head.
Feeling adventurous? Take the back road to the perineum and the anus — with their consent, of course.
Oral is the perfect time to get touchy-feely. You can use your hand to control the depth and show other parts of their body some extra love.
Unless your partner says don’t stop, using the same speed, motion, and pressure over and over is more likely to result in boredom and chafing than an orgasm.
Alternate between licking the shaft, swirling your tongue around the head, and letting your hands take over to switch things up.
You’ve got the basics, so it’s time to make your move.
It’s only fitting that you get an oral sesh started with your mouth. What better way than some good old-fashioned making out?
Get them primed by kissing and caressing some of their other erogenous zones, like their ears and neck.
As long as you’re both comfortable enough it enjoy it, there’s no need to try any elaborate sex positions. They can stand or sit while you kneel in front, or they can lie flat on their back while your lips hover above.
Unless you’re in a place where you can’t get naked, clothing is totally optional. It’s ultimately down to your comfort levels.
Pull it out while leaving the rest of their clothes intact, or pull their underwear down far enough to reach all their bits.
If the feel of skin on skin helps get you both hot, then go for the full Monty.
It’s technique time! Here are the moves you need to do the deed.
Anything goes here, really. Use your entire tongue to move your way up and down their shaft.
The tip of your tongue is perfect for zoning in on the smaller and highly sensitive areas.
You can use the tip to flick the frenulum, then swirl it around the head before gently bringing them into your mouth.
Unless you’re trying to bite down, your teeth aren’t really an issue here.
Focus on letting your tongue and lips make contact. Your teeth will just sort of blend into the background and disappear.
Heck yeah! Your mouth’s already in the vicinity anyway, so the transition to rimming would be totally natural. Just be sure they’re cool with it before you give it a go.
Use your hand to stroke the shaft and let your thumb graze the frenulum as you reach the head. You can continue to do this while licking and sucking.
Put those multitasking skills to the test and use your other hand to gently massage their balls at the same time.
As long as they consent, then absolutely! Just be sure to use a lot of lube.
Begin by applying gentle pressure to their perineum using the pads of your index and middle fingers, then insert an uber-lubed finger into their anus.
If you’re both cool with it, take rimming to another level by inserting the tip of your tongue into their anus and pushing it in and out.
Use the tip of a butt plug to tease the opening before slowly inserting it. Keep the butt plug inside while you lick and stroke them for double the pleasure, and possibly even an anal orgasm.
Unless your jaw is super tired and cramping or they’ve asked you to stop, you don’t have to. It’s totally up to you. Here are some ideas if you’re drawing a blank.
If you’re happy to keep at it, then stick to whatever you’re doing, since it’s probably working.
Increasing your speed and upping your enthusiasm with some well-placed moans and eye contact can help get them there faster.
Remember, there’s no pressure to swallow even if you let them finish in your mouth.
Keep sucking, and let the semen enter your slightly parted lips. If you’re going to swallow, now’s the time. If not, let it dribble down your chin — which is much sexier than it sounds — or discreetly spit it out into a nearby cup or cloth.
If the texture of tapioca’s not your thing, switch to jerking them off just as they’re about to climax. Let them finish on your chin, chest, or other area of your body.
If you want to stop, then by all means stop. The fun doesn’t have to end just because the BJ portion of the program is over.
Count it as foreplay and start kissing your way back up their body. Go where you want from there.
Suggestions: Climb on or turn over for penetration, or guide them down so they can reciprocate orally.
The key is to make a blow job mutually satisfying. You’re in control when going down, so have fun with it and revel in the power you have over their pleasure.
Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow, or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddleboard.
Last medically reviewed on September 12, 2019
Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We avoid using tertiary references. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.
Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST — Written by Adrienne Santos-Longhurst on September 12, 2019
Medically reviewed by Stacy Sampson, D.O.
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Medically reviewed by Jennifer Litner, LMFT, CST — Written by Ginger Wojcik — Updated on August 31, 2020
You’re in bed with your boo and everything’s going great. You’re all ready to ramp up the foreplay with some oral, but when you come face-to-face with that peen, a whisper of insecurity hits you: Am I any good at this?
Fortunately, an important truth that comes with a blow job is that (as long as both people have given enthusiastic consent) the mouth + penis is a recipe for pleasure: It’s pretty hard to suck at it (as long as you suck on it).
That’s because the penis — especially the head — is covered in nerve endings. It’s super responsive to sensation, especially when there’s lots of lubrication.
The natural wetness in the mouth, along with the variety of textures created by the tongue and lips, makes a really dynamic set of tools for stimulation.
Our first bit of advice is to make sure, beforehand, that the other person is into it.
We agree oral sex feels amazing and is a super common thing to do in bed — a 2018 analysis found that more than 75 percent of people surveyed had given or received oral sex before.Trusted Source But assuming what another person is into, sexually or otherwise, can be presumptuous, particularly with new partners.
Yeah, asking might be awkward. But unless you’ve chatted beforehand about past sexual likes and dislikes, being direct is how you gauge whether someone is ready for it.
You can ask in a sexy way, like, “I really want to taste your dick right now. Can I?” or “Is getting sucked off something you’re into?”
Or not. For some of us, trying to sound sexy is a sure way to sound even more awkward.
Orgasms are great, but pleasure isn’t dependent on one happening. So don’t go in with a goal of making the Big O happen. Not all blow jobs will, or should, end in orgasm.
Plus, if you’re giving a blow job during foreplay to build the excitement, you both might want to prolong the fun by not finishing right away.
It all comes down to what you both want in the moment.
One of the realities of oral sex is that your eyes (and nose) are very close to, well, the show. This can be thrilling or, maybe, a bit overwhelming. But be prepared to get up close and really personal with your partner’s penis.
Each penis has its own unique style. Some bend a little to the left, some to the right. Some are long and narrow, others short and round. Some are circumcised and some aren’t (research suggests as many as 80 percent of folks with penises in the United States are circumcised).Trusted Source
An uncircumcised penis still has its foreskin, the bit of skin that covers the head of the penis.
These two, um, genres of penis look a little different, but whether a penis is circumcised or not doesn’t change much for you.
The same is true of pubic hair. Some people choose to keep their hair fully shaved, while others like it grown out, but that personal choice doesn’t change the mechanics of giving a blow job.
At the risk of sounding like Captain Obvious, bodies have smells. Groins, in particular, have smells because there are more sweat glands down there.
Everyone’s scent is different, and everyone’s scent changes a little from day to day. It might be sharp like an onion or subtly reminiscent of cannabis.
You may be surprised to find you love your partner’s musk. Or maybe not so much. If it’s overwhelming in a bad way, there’s nothing wrong with politely asking them to jump in the shower.
Many STIs can be transmitted through oral sex — even HIV, although the odds are slim. Ask your partner beforehand if they have any STIs and when they got tested last.
The safest route when giving a blow job is to use a condom. Want to spice things up? Use a flavored condom. Banana for their banana? Yes, please!
It’s also a good idea to visually check out a person’s bits before any sexual encounter, especially if you’re not super familiar with one another. This doesn’t have to be exam-like, but don’t be shy about using your eyes to look for bumps or sores.
When it comes to sex, the body is like an engine — it doesn’t heat up immediately. Foreplay is all the work you do to get that engine going.
The time you spend building excitement in the beginning will pay off with more intensity later. The same goes for blow jobs.
Try starting out with a deep, passionate makeout sesh. If you like talking dirty, do it to get the blood flowing. Don’t be in a hurry to lose the clothes. It can be super hot to grind up against each other’s love bits with clothes still on.
Treat the experience like a road trip. The hours you spend listening to the radio and all the sites you stop at along the way are what makes it fulfilling and memorable.
Learn how to use what your mama gave you to make their pleasure ah-mazing.
There isn’t a right or wrong way to use lips on a penis. Pretty much any way is going to feel wonderful.
Wrap your lips over your teeth to get a firmer rim to slide along the shaft. Or keep them puckered and squishy.
Your tongue is a versatile tool for blow jobs. You can make it firm and rigid to apply direct pressure with the tip or keep it soft to use the whole surface to stimulate.
Hold the shaft of the penis with one hand and use the very tip of your tongue to lightly lick the head. Make slow circles or light taps around the circumference. Or use it to stroke the frenulum, an extra-sensitive area on the bottom side of the head of the penis.
To make sure your tongue can carry its weight in bed, give it a workout beforehand with tongue push-ups and pull-backs. No gym required.
Some people love the feeling of having a penis deep inside their mouth and touching their throat. Others, not so much.
The ideal BJ depth is the depth that’s most comfortable for you. Go only as deep as you want (and can handle without gagging). You can still deliver an earth-shattering orgasm without going all the way in.
Try holding the penis about an inch below the head while you wrap your lips around the top of it. Then, using plenty of saliva, gently suck and lick the head of the penis.
The mouth may be the star of the blow job show, but the hands play important supporting roles. Like you hold an ice cream cone while you lick, use your hand(s) to hold on to the shaft of the penis and the testicles while using your mouth.
Also bring your hands into the mix to switch up the type of stimulation. And, if your partner is into this, your hands are there to explore other erogenous zones nearby!
The ideal position is whatever feels most comfortable — whether that’s on your knees in front of your standing partner, leaning over them while they lie on the bed, or any other variation you can think up.
That’s where your hands come in, well, handy. Give your mouth a rest by applying some sliding action with your magic fingers.
Coming face-to-face with that unexpected flap of skin might make you wonder, “What do I do with this thing?” Consider it retractable and just slide it on down to expose the head.
Some people absolutely love locking eyes during oral. It’s a whole new and intimate (not to mention sexy) way to connect with a partner. But it’s also not for everyone, so don’t feel obligated if it’s not your thing.
Don’t be afraid to skip the eye contact
Eye contact can be intense in an uncomfortable way, especially for the giver. If it’ll make you feel more at ease, avoid eye contact altogether. Plus, depending on the position you’re in, it might not be physically comfortable for your neck.
It’s important to get the rhythm right. Too slow and your partner might fall asleep. Too fast and it’ll be over before you’ve even gotten going.
Start slowly and then ramp up the intensity. Keep things interesting by toying with different speeds throughout. And if they seem ready to come, try slowing things down to prolong their pleasure.
Nothing will spoil the mood faster than sounding like you’re about to spew. To avoid triggering your gag reflex, relax your throat muscles.
Or just don’t go as far. Most of the sensation is in the tip anyway. Go only as deep as you’re comfortable with, and let your hands do the rest of the heavy lifting.
Unless they’re a big talker during sex, don’t expect to hear a play-by-play. Instead, look for signs like grunting, heavy breathing, or hip thrusting. If you hear/see those, trust us, you’re doing it right.
If you’re insecure about your oral sex skills, go ahead and ask whether it feels good. Chances are you’ll get a big “hell yeah” in response.
With edging, you stop yourself from finishing when you’re right at the brink of orgasm. After giving yourself a breather, you repeat the process multiple times.
The idea behind edging is that by building up the arousal in this way, the eventual orgasm will be stronger and more satisfying.
This technique can be super exciting during oral. But make sure to ask/tell your partner first. It can be jarring to stop so close to orgasm if they’re not expecting it.
If your mouth is sore, give it a rest. Switch to your hands, ask for your turn on the receiving end, or switch over to full-on penetrative sex.
No jade eggs. Just real tips and ways to make health matter.
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There’s a tendency to get laser-focused on the penis during oral, so here’s our reminder: Stimulate other yummy spots on the body too!
Everyone likes different areas to be caressed, though, so it’s extra important to ask your partner what they like. The body has lots of erogenous zones. Here are a few common ones.
If you’re trying out ball play, start by gently cupping
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