How To Get Yourself To Squirt
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How To Get Yourself To Squirt
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By Sean Jameson — Written on Oct 01, 2021
Learning how to make yourself squirt can be incredibly pleasurable, especially if you do it with someone you care about. But many women struggle when learning the art of squirting and never quite figure out how to do it properly.
This guide will show you how to make yourself squirt and have intense squirting orgasms, whether during sex or masturbation.
Before you learn how to make yourself squirt, it's important to understand what's actually happening with your body.
Many women believe that when they ejaculate, they are actually releasing urine. This is possible, but it's rare.
Instead, when you're squirting, you actually ejaculating fluid from the Skene's gland , which is located above the G-spot and is really close to the bladder.
As the Skene's gland is stimulated, it fills and then expels fluid through the urethra, which is the same tube that urine passes through.
As a result, many women report that they feel like they are going to pee as they ejaculate. It's a totally normal feeling. But, importantly, it's not pee, even if it feels like you are peeing.
Unlike learning a new sexual position where you simply need to imitate a picture or diagram you found online or in a book, learning how to make a woman (or yourself) squirt takes more work than this. It is a half-mental, half-physical phenomenon.
You probably won't magically be able to make yourself squirt by only focusing on this masturbation technique . You also need to learn how to properly relax and let go to make squirting happen for you.
So the first thing to learn is that having that "I need to pee" feeling as you are about to ejaculate is totally normal.
What is important is mentally releasing and relaxing so that it happens more easily. This is the most important step — many women can't squirt because they are simply holding themselves back, instead of just releasing and going with the flow.
Before you actually start, make sure to have a few glasses of water so you're properly hydrated. No need for gallons of water, but half a liter to a full liter of water is perfect.
Then right before you lie down or jump in the shower to start trying to make yourself squirt, make sure to empty your bladder. This will help you stop worrying so much about peeing when you're squirting and also prevent too much urine from coming out.
Because things can get a little messy, prepare your bed with some towels or something you don't mind throwing in the wash afterward so you don't get any of the fluids on your mattress.
Next, it's time to get comfortable. If you are in bed, make sure you aren't going to be disturbed and that you are able to get in the mood .
You might want to try reading some erotica or just fantasizing about your favorite hot and scenario.
Get yourself aroused is a vital part that many women ignore. In order to squirt, you need to slowly build up your arousal for 15 to 30 minutes first.
Don't try to reach orgasm just yet, but make sure to get yourself close. Try to spend the majority of your time focusing on your clitoris and don't worry too much about penetrating yourself just yet.
Once you are incredibly aroused, it's time to focus on actually making yourself squirt.
To start off, you need to find your G-spot , which is inside your vagina. You'll know when you've found it because it feels very similar to a wet raspberry — soft, wet and slightly dimpled.
Start to slowly apply pressure. Pay attention to how it feels. Experiment with applying less pressure. Then more pressure.
The purpose of this experimentation is to figure out for yourself exactly what feels best and is most pleasurable.
Most women find that using quite a lot of pressure feels best. So don't be afraid to use a lot.
If you find that you can't apply enough pressure, then just use a sex toy instead of your hands. This is also a good idea if you find that your wrist is starting to get sore.
As you apply more and more pressure, you will be indirectly stimulating your Skene's gland. As you do, you will bring yourself closer to ejaculating.
This moment when you feel like you are about to ejaculate is crucial. Embrace the feeling and just let go, you will experience that wonderful feeling of gushing.
If you are afraid and believe that you are going to pee, then you will inevitably clam up and not be able to do it, so it's important to relax and let your body do what it's going to do when you're learning how to make yourself squirt.
One important thing to note is that while most women climax and gush at the same time, some women can do it without actually having an orgasm.
So don't worry too much if you have trouble reaching climax when trying these techniques — they don't always happen together.
Sometimes ejaculation doesn't happen as easily as you'd like. What then?
If you can't make yourself squirt at all:
If you are learning how to squirt for the first time and struggle to make it happen, don't worry!
Instead, try to focus on what's enjoyable and pleasurable. It can take many attempts before you finally discover the specific nuances and techniques that make squirting happen for you.
If you're not sure if you squirted:
Different women squirt in different ways.
While some women may shoot a stream that travels 5 feet, other women simply gush or gently release fluid that trickles out without much force at all. Both types of squirting are completely normal, so don't worry if you only experience one and not the other.
If you can't squirt during sex with someone else:
Often, women report that they can squirt while they are masturbating, but have a lot of difficulties squirting while having sex with a man.
Again, this is totally normal and nothing to worry about. Just give yourself time and learning how to make yourself squirt will eventually happen.
Sean Jameson is a sex expert and founder of the Bad Girl's Bible website , where you can learn advanced techniques to improve your sex life.
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VICE’s guide to squirting! What it is, what it’s like, and how to squirt, with a little help from sex educators and regular people.
Advice on the finer points of having great sex.
If you squirt out of your pee hole, is it pee?
How to squirt if it doesn’t happen to you automatically
How does squirting feel in the moment?
ORIGINAL REPORTING ON EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS IN YOUR INBOX.
Let’s get one thing out of the way: Squirting, which is a more casual way of saying “releasing fluid from your urethra (read: pee hole) in a sexual capacity,” is absolutely a real thing that people with vaginas are able to do. Vaginal fluids released during sex have been documented for 2,000 years , including in the hundreds-of-years-old Kama Sutra and other ancient sex manuals. Still, some people find the very concept of squirting to be mysterious or elusive—or believe it’s a trick when they see it in porn.
Let’s figure out squirting once and for all. For instance: What’s the “fluid” in question here? Why do some people squirt easily, and others don’t? How do you do it if you never have before? All excellent questions. Here’s a comprehensive guide to what squirting actually is, what it’s like, and how to squirt, with a little help from sex educators and regular people who swear that, yes, it’s real—and not only does it look hot, but it can feel amazing, too.
Squirting is when fluid is expelled from a person with a vagina’s urethra, usually because of stimulation of the G-spot. The G-spot is a small area about one-third to halfway inside the vagina, located on the vagina’s anterior (front) wall, toward the belly button. The urethra is the tube that carries urine from your bladder to the opening when you pee. It runs right above the vagina and is surrounded by tissues and glands called the urethral sponge. When a person with a vagina is aroused, their urethral sponge fills with blood and its glands fill with fluid, causing the G-spot to swell and feel firm, which is why it’s easier to feel and stimulate the G-spot when you’re turned on, and so, easier to discover how to squirt during sex.
The short version is: There’s no consensus, and most of the research about squirting is slightly old, relies on too-small sample groups, or is inconclusive (or all of the above). To complicate things further, some researchers and medical experts believe that squirting (which usually involves a clear, odorless, abundant fluid) is also a different fluid than vaginal ejaculate (a small amount of milky-white fluid). A 2011 study analyzed the chemical composition of the three fluids that came out of one person’s urethra during sexual stimulation: urine, squirt (the large amount of clear fluid that we’re more familiar with), and ejaculate. Researchers found major differences between the three, in terms of color, odor, chemical makeup, volume, origin, and so on. The ejaculate was described as a “scanty, thick, and whitish fluid” in the amount of about a teaspoon. It came from the female prostate (aka the Skene’s glands) and contained something called PSAs (prostate-specific antigens), which are commonly found in semen. The squirt, on the other hand, was a clear, abundant, odorless fluid that came from the bladder. So, while squirt and female ejaculate are different from each other, they are also “different from urine,” the study found.
Sometimes squirting and ejaculation happen at separate times , and sometimes they happen together—meaning that, if you squirted, you’d likely see both the clear, abundant fluid and the small amount of white, milky, PSA-tinged fluid. (And what about the typical “wetness” we associate with arousal? That’s a different fluid altogether, which comes from your Bartholin glands , and is unrelated to squirting as it’s most often thought about and discussed.)
Squirt does share similarities with diluted urine , including the presence of urea, creatinine, and uric acid, which are all waste products from the kidneys that are expelled when we pee. (A small 2015 study— like, “seven cis women” small—even claimed squirting was “an involuntary emission of urine.”) In porn as in life, the emission of a large amount of fluid can simply mean peeing, à la golden showers, which is also fine! As Allison Moon, sex educator and author of Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex , said, “Many of my students who have concerns about squirting are usually afraid of the ‘ick’ factor—specifically ‘What if it’s pee?’ My advice: interrogate that fear a bit. What if it is pee? What about that specifically freaks you out more than a different fluid? If it’s the mess or the smell or anything else, define it so you can better understand it. Then you can take steps to mitigate the ick factor and enjoy the pleasure instead.”
We’re not only here to debate the finer points of the fluids themselves, but also to help newcomers experience them firsthand, so let’s get down to it!
As with any new skill, it’s often best to practice by yourself first before enlisting others. Squirting requires a little extra prep than you might be used to—but for a new-to-you way of coming, it's worth it, right? Before you start, make sure you’re hydrated (which is important in general for your sexual functioning, and also increases the body’s natural lubrication), your nails are trimmed, and your lube is within reach. If any resulting wetness is going to interfere with your enjoyment of the experience, head to the shower , grab a towel or two, or lay down a waterproof blanket.
You’ll also want to make sure to pee beforehand, according to Janet Hardy, co-author of The Ethical Slut . “Incipient squirting feels almost exactly like needing to pee. If you’re not confident that you’re not going to pee, your response to that feeling will be to clamp down,” she said. “But if you know you’re not going to wet the bed [with pee], you can relax, maybe push a little, and voilà!”
Fantasize about and do what reliably turns you on when you're masturbating before you attempt to squirt in order to get your body ready. Some people who talked to VICE even recommended coming before you focus on squirting. S., a 25-year-old cis, queer woman in Austin, said, “Usually it’s easier if I orgasm first. [Squirting after I come] is a continual feeling of release, like my orgasm extends through my whole body.” An orgasm will help relax you. It also means your G-spot will be firm and easier to find and your urethral sponge will swell. When you’re aroused, all of these areas press into and against the walls of the vaginal canal, especially the front anterior wall (remember: toward your belly button), which is the area most associated with squirting.
The urethral sponge is beyond the vaginal wall, meaning it’s not as easy to access as, say, the clitoris . If you can’t easily reach a finger or two into your vagina while lying on your back, try placing a pillow under your butt for leverage or getting on your knees and leaning all the way forward to reach your G-spot. If you still can’t quite get to it, an S-shaped or hooked sex toy should help you. Once you’ve found the G-spot, apply firm, consistent pressure with one or two fingers (or as many as you’d like) or the toy. Try pushing, making circles, or, if you’re using your fingers, doing a curling “come hither” motion. Stick to a steady rhythm and apply pretty heavy pressure. With your other hand, you might want to stimulate the clitoris, nipples, or other erogenous zones to help things along. If you feel like you have to pee as you go along, don’t worry—that’s why you did beforehand, and it means you’re probably on the right track.
Some people who squirt say that vigorous movement and/or intense penetration helps them make it happen. Luke, a 34-year-old in Chicago who uses they/them pronouns, said, “Girth and speed in the penetrative department (in either orifice) combined with overwhelming external stimulation [makes squirting] a sure thing for me." The membrane between the rectum and vaginal canal is pretty thin, so you can still reach the G-spot through anal play. Some people even prefer G-spot stimulation from anal play because they find the indirect stimulation on their G-spot to be less intense and more pleasurable. "Just one or the other can work sometimes, too, if I'm using a strong vibe or a textured or curved dildo,” Luke said.
“What makes learning how to squirt difficult for folks who don’t naturally do it is that it contradicts what many of us do when we have orgasms,” Moon said. “That is, many of us vagina owners squeeze and ‘pull’ up the energy to come. Squirting inverts that, encouraging us to relax and bear down.”
S. also advised would-be squirters to push out and not pull in: “Relax into it and bear down on your pelvic floor,” she said. Another respondent, Rue, a cis woman in her 20s who lives in the Midwest, advised that a certain amount of retraining the body might be needed: “When you're close, you'll probably feel pressure like you have to pee. That's the sign to push, push, push. It will feel counterintuitive not only because our bodies tend to tense up as we orgasm, but we're also programmed to just not want to wet ourselves. So you kind of have to train your mind, as well as your body.”
Plenty of people are able to squirt during sex with other people. As mentioned in the solo play section, the same motions apply with partner play: a finger or two (or as many as you’d like) or an S-shaped toy inserted into the vaginal canal aimed toward the belly button will help stimulate the G-spot, Skene’s glands, and urethral sponge.
Since penises and many dildos don’t tend to move in a “come hither” motion, penis-in-vagina intercourse might not provide the kind of direct, intense stimulation needed for squirting. If you’d like to give it a go anyway, try sex positions that involve shallower penetration to stimulate the G-spot, like spooning sex or the prone bone (aka rear entry, with the receiving partner on their stomach).
Meg, a 40-year-old, cis bisexual woman in Brooklyn, said that having her partners touch her all over during sex helps her get there. “Once we’re having sex, clitoral and nipple stimulation, followed by intense penetration (of any kind), leads to [me] squirting enough to soak the mattress,” she said.
Like any sexual “first,” learning to squirt if you’ve never done so involves a certain amount of practice, exploration, and repetition. Remember that, like any other kind of good sex , the fun is in the journey, not the destination. And even if you don’t get soaked in the way you expected: At least now you’re intimately familiar with your G-spot , which you might find is more than enough of a reward.
This page was updated to improve clarity on the topic on April 25, 2022.
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