How To Get Your Dick Sucked
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How To Get Your Dick Sucked
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How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
for those of u who wanna know how i know this i did it many times and yeah it always worked find the one that bests fit your situation. oh yeah and for those of you who are probably thinkin who does this son of a bitch think he is he thinks he knows everything then don't read it and leave i did this to help the guys out there who don't get head and want it and cuz i saw a post with many guys sayin they sucked their own dick and cuz theres nuthin else to do now anyway.
Worried about your size:
Ok most guys are worried about what a girl will think about the size when they flick it out well here's somethin to know i felt the same way jus be confident worry more about how u use it because most of the time if a girl is freaky enough to suck they won't care what size as long as it at least 6 inches and first of all before a girl sucks they'll ask u questions about it and will probably feel it before doin anything if they don't say much when u ask them what u think that means they like it and are focusing on it if youre still not sure go for the short girls everything looks big to them or jerkin off and porn feels good to.
When to go for it:
Ok the best time to go for it is when u know the girl is alright with it ask her questions when no one's around like how big do u like them but get to know the girl first so u can say it in the right manner and at the right time makes sure she's a freak first ok.When u got all your info and know she's alright with your size play with her a little warm up to her joke around like jerkin of in front her her (prentending to) or say please suck my dick in a jokin way eventually she'll warm up if you play your cards right and pretty much let u touch her anywhere. Ok one time get her alone in a good place where u know there will be no distractions get her in a horny mood and the start talkin about gettin your dick sucked make sure she gives head first though eventually bring up the question would you give me head if i asked they usually say why do u wanna know that's there sign for sayin i know what your askin. move up closer and sya do u wanna see it of course if there a freak they say yeah then ya know flick it out and yadda yadda yadda motion it towards her wait for her to grab then presto the rest pretty muh takes care of itself hint: thay usually start smiling which means heres your chance go for it!!!!!!!!!
Who to go after:
Go for the girls you know give head and also for the ones you dont know well cuz it'll feel less weird to ask a friend for head also so u can start a good impression and get on here good side fast.
How to hook up with a girl to suck your dick:
Usually you can try to talk to one of your friends to get to hook u up with a girl cuz that's usually the best way to holla at one at the same time not try to go to the girl yourself but not in front of her friends cuz you'll probably look kinda stupid get her alone maybe while she's lonely walkin somewhere. just start off by introducin yourself most girls like it when you meet up wit them for the first time gentleman like then u can start callin here stuff like come here bitch (if she dosen't care) and other jokin around stuff after you've beacme good friends.
Don't Go To High:
If you know there is a girl that u won't stand a chance getting head from don't go for it go for the girls in your level that you know you stand a chace with it'll probaly still feel good Money is Money Head is Head.
Ok so i pretty much put down all the basics remember STAY STRONG,DON'T QUIT,GET HEAD........... Wow i am bored i really typed all that so for those of you who suck your own dick please stop thats mad nasty i mean jerk off or sumthin but don't suck your own dick get a girl to do it no back pains when u do that. IF u need some motivation go to www.throatjobs.com i know that website cuz i used to want head a lot to so follow ma steps hopefully it will work and if you have anymore questions email me you can obviously see my newgrounds name so email that iight good luck
Yo let's put the nails in this coffin!!!!!
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
Cool copy job. You should've just sent us a link to it.
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
thanks for the info, if i wanted to know that i would have just googled it
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
Well according to a recent study, the average man's penis is ~5 inches so acording to your copy and paste job, guys SHOULD worry about size
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
Any website that would post that shit needs to be shut down.
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
Somebody can sure use Google like a pro...
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
Because of the lack of punctuation and grammar it doesn't seem like a copy and paste job.
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
This is the greatest topic ever made.
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
well yeh if you wanted to do it the hard way
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
It's really alot more simple. But yes, nice copy + paste job.
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
uhh.. your 13 and youve been doing this? I dont buy it..
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
You're thirteen. Your alias is HOMEY-G-3000. Your profile message says "Wat up every1 I jus gotta say imma be givin out really nice reviews and votes thats cuz im nice like that and yeah yeah i picked light aura hehe." You claim to have had many blow jobs. You're on the Internet.
Obviously, this thread is full of shit, and "HOMEY-G-3000" is probably going to respond to this post calling me homosexual, or some other unoriginal shit like that. I hope he does anyway, I need a good laugh.
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
After reading your reviews and some other posts, I changed my mind. You're most likely nine or ten.
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
I beat him to it^_^... but you're the good homo since you're so nice
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
With this How To Get Your Dick Sucked thread, I was able to get my dick sucked within 10 minutes of applying your advice to the first girl I met down the street. Before it used to take me weeks or months to coax a woman into it. If it wasn't for your free thread, I'd probably never get a blowjob for the next month or so. Thank you, HOMEY-G-3000, I am now the stud I always wanted to be!
Response to
How To Get Your Dick Sucked
Jun 20, 2005
Explore a mysterious planet and uncover its secrets.
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You came (wink-wink, see what I did there?), saw, and conquered your fear of stigma and decided to research websites answering the question, “ can I suck my own dick ?” Great! I’m glad you are researching this subject before jumping in headfirst .
I’m all in for that, and backing you up all the way. To each its own. Whatever floats your boat, captain. Hey, I’ve done the same thing and ALMOST sucked my own cock! That’s right. You cannot deny the power of human curiosity. Men will not admit it, but most of us have thought about what it would feel like to suck our own dicks.
Obviously, you are unsure how to begin the self-head-giving process. We’re here to help. Before you jump headfirst into this guide, remember this: to develop the proper skills to suck your own dick will not be an overnight process. Achievement requires dedicated practice every single day for the long haul.
We have outlined tried-and-true cock blowing techniques in this detailed guide. If studied and executed correctly, you can become a self-dick sucking machine in no time. Think of it like this: you have the best tool at your disposal to learn the craft and perfect the moves-your own body.
★ EDITOR’S CHOICE – THE BEST DICK SUCKING MACHINES OF 2021★
First, before I begin with the guide, let’s start with a little personal story to motivate your quest…
20 years ago my ugly-duckling syndromic self was sitting in my hot, sweaty bedroom with my hormones raging. I had a strong desire to feel a warm moist mouth wrapped around my dick and would do almost anything to achieve that pursuit, but I did not have the luxury to get another person with an available mouth, which led to an enlightening thought of sucking my own dick .
I grabbed a rollaway bed and folded it halfway, laid my body on the carpet in front of it, pulled my legs all the way back towards my head Ta-chi style (My body had better flexibility back then), and managed to pull the bed on top of my legs to pull my penis closer to my mouth. I could hardly breathe, but my need to get some neck was so strong, so I pushed my head forward. I then used all my strength to thrust my pelvic area towards my mouth and managed to get the tip of my dick to touch my lips. Success!
Some of you might be more successful at achieving a self-blowjob than I was. However, note something: you don’t have to settle with sucking your own dick, man. I know you’re an open-minded, adventurous person who loves to try new things-I get it. But nothing is wrong with letting a consenting adult do the dick sucking for you.
Check out Adult Friend Finder to find all types of cock suckers tonight with various skill sets ready to put in the work, tonight or any night for that matter!
To make this process work flawlessly in your favor, you need to be a preferably fit person. That means eliminating an unhealthy diet and adopting one that benefits your regimen.
For example, overly muscular guys or potbelly men would likely have a more difficult time bringing their legs to their heads and getting their lips to touch the tip than someone fit and slim.
A way around this obstacle if you have some meat on your bones is doing stretching exercises every single day if you are not already doing them.
Doing yoga exercises is a great way to increase body flexibility, and get it used to doing extreme stretches you never thought possible. Moreover, yoga exercise is relaxing and will help you mentally cope with whatever life adversity is pushing you to suck your own dick-some people believe that mentally sound people are not sitting around thinking about putting their mouths on their cocks. I am!
Consulting a yoga instructor will help in the quest, but never reveal to anyone in the class that you are enrolled specifically to suck your own cock. Your ass might get kicked out of the class or even the authorities called on you.
Thankfully, you have my experience to help. Here is an easy two-step stretching exercise to help you adapt better positions:
Repeat these steps everyday and you should be able to lie down on the floor with your legs spread apart as far as they will go, and curl your back enough to bring the penis to your mouth.
You have now unlocked an easy way to suck your own cock!
My personal method required me lying on the floor because that worked for me. You have to move your ligaments around and test different positions to discover what works for you.
The proper way to correctly position your body, however, is by sitting upright, and pulling your legs straight up towards the ceiling – get someone to help you get them there the first time if you are not that flexible yet.
Then, you will push your head down towards your penis and should have no problem bopping on your corn on the cob. Use the free hand to raise the hard cock up to create better aerodynamics reaching your mouth.
Plenty of ‘autofellatio’ videos display this method and there is no shortage of them on the world wide web.
If you are unsuccessful at giving yourself the pleasure you want, then this act might not be for you. Again, Adult Friend Finder has plenty of profiles featuring adults who are avid cock suckers.
However, if you are a well-endowed man, who also possesses a long slobbery tongue, then you should have no problem giving yourself head.
If you want to get a larger penis, then you have several options. Natural supplements and jelqing exercises are some of the more popular ways to increase the size of your penis to finally reach your mouth.
Early civilizations have a history of people sucking their own dicks. They normally do it for spiritual reasons. The most famous is the Ancient Egyptians . It was believed that ingesting your own sperm connected you with the constellations some type of way. This belief is very interesting because you would think the Greeks would have been the original inventors of this sexual act. Obviously, they learn it from the Egyptians.
This is a no-brainer question, but let’s get practical about the answer. Many gay guys will suck their own cocks just to practice the act on themselves before moving on their boyfriends. They want to ensure that their cock-licking technique is A-1.
Cocksucking is technically a gay act because you are essentially sucking a dick, but some people would say that self sucking is masturbation because you are doing it to yourself for pleasure. Only one person is involved. But on the flip side, when you think about the visuals of your own cum dripping from the side of your mouth from sucking your own dick would be considered gay to many.
If you cannot please yourself, how can you please someone else?
Of course getting your penis in your mouth is possible. I was able to touch the tip my first time. There are plenty of blogs and forums of people who write extensively about their cock sucking claims. You can even Google ‘autofellatio’ and see the genuine videos of guys giving themselves blowjobs.
Do I really need to name them? The benefits should be obvious. First, if you consider yourself gay then you can practice dick sucking on yourself while pleasing yourself. You can test the waters and make sure your lips are nice and strong before moving onto your boyfriend.
Moreover, you are getting yourself off, so your raging hormones will get settled. This self-serving satisfaction is quelled in men who would otherwise rape or do something ungodly to get their pleasure.
A guy who can suck his own dick is a happy guy.
While this act might seem fun and extremely beneficial to you, there are some dangers. If you force your head down too far in the wrong position you can crack your neck. If you perform my technique with the rollaway bed, and there is no one in your home to help, you can get stuck in a compromising position that might require EMT services or the fire department. That’s why I suggest you never try that technique.
Unconfirmed reports circulate the net about guys unfortunately dying after attempting self sex when their breathing tube is cut off and they die of suffocation.
Another huge risk is an obvious BLOW to your relationship. If your girlfriend or even boyfriend for that matter finds out that you are sitting at home all day sucking on your own cock, they might feel like you are cheating on them with yourself. They might start wondering if the sex they give you is even enough since you can now please yourself. The obvious thoughts that run through is what do you need them for? Once you discover the pleasures of giving yourself a blow job, you might want to do it all the time and then your significant other becomes a side relationship.
Sucking your own dick takes dedication, want, and skill (full body and limb flexibility) to achieve the pleasure. Without it, making it work is nearly impossible.
We hope you have learned how to suck your own dick, or at least got a great laugh if that is what you were looking for.
Listen here, my friend. You do not need to suck your own dick anymore. There are plenty of online blowjob sites where you can find a companion, regardless of gender, to do the cock sucking for you.
But if you decide there are some questions and hopefully this article has provi
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