How To Get Nudes
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How To Get Nudes
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Because no one wants an unsolicited dick pic.
I'm just going to say it: Nudes are fucking awesome. Swapping naked pics is not only a great way to build sexual anticipation , but it can make your tedious workday a lot more exciting (as long as your screen isn't visible to any coworkers). There's nothing like a hot pic from someone you're crushing on to help you fill out those TPS reports .
But initiating the swapping of nudes can seem daunting. For starters, how do you go about asking for nudes without coming off as a creep? "HI, YOU ARE HOT, PLEASE SEND A NAKED PICTURE" is probably one of the least attractive things a partner will ever hear. You have to be thoughtful about sending nudes, too. As with any sexual activity, consent is a must—and depending on how your partner receives it, an unsolicited dick pic could even be illegal .
We spoke to four sex experts to help explain how to ask for and send nudes. Here's who you'll hear from:
Daniel : You should always ask for permission before sending nudes. You can ask by saying something like, "Can I send you something naughty?" Make sure the conversation is already going this way. If they’re texting getting-to-know-you questions, it’s probably not the best time to ask.
Cory : Generally, the best time to send a nude is when you’re already having a steamy conversation via text . But the only time you can send a nude is when you’ve received explicit consent to do so.
Courtney : Consent is key to sending nudes. Nobody wants a dick pic out of left field, and unfortunately, that’s where most of them come from. Start with words. Sexting can be so hot. Tell your partner ... what you want to do to them later. Be explicit and nasty if that’s what’s in your heart—and if they’re reciprocating and things are ramping up, that’s a good time to send a nude.
Cory : The best time to send or ask for a nude is when there’s already a sexting sesh going down. While some people like sending spontaneous nudes to their partner(s) during work hours, that’s usually reserved for folks who have ongoing relationships where they’ve pre-negotiated boundaries about sexting and sending nudes.
Sofiya : I think in the middle of sexting is a good time, but only if both people have been sexting, not just one very horny party having a monologue.
Courtney : Yeah, read the room. I know that can be hard in our electronic world, but use all the context clues available. Are they replying to your sexts with equally sexual content? Great! Now you can tell them you’d like to see a little somethin’.
Daniel : You can ask: "May I see more of you?" [Add] a little devil emoji at the end to imply you're hoping to see a little more than what Tinder allows on profiles. This is a coy way of asking without being too direct.
You should also consider offering a swap for swap. You can say, "Want to trade sexy photos?" From there, you can share sexy, although not fully nude photos. After a few of those pics are swapped back and forth, go ahead and ask, "Want to share some X-rated pics?" You can throw in a mischievous grin emoji after to make it more playful!
Sofiya : I think a fun way to get to exchanging nudes from sexting is sort of slowly raising the stakes. Like, start with an ab shot, or a bicep shot, and wait for her to send something back. You can keep going until you get really explicit. Plus, if she pulls back and doesn’t match you pic for pic, you get a good idea about when to stop.
Courtney : An ex-boyfriend sent me some super sexy Tumblr gifs one time and it was the hottest thing ever. That really lubed me up for a more personal photo exchange.
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One of the interesting side effects of recent self-isolation measures is that people seem to be getting hornier. Maybe it’s a primal response to the anxiety of the moment, or a desire for human contact that has hardened into something more carnal. Perhaps it’s just the nice weather. But unless you’re quarantined with a regular or potential sexual partner, your options for having sex with another person are limited. Which leads me to my point: It’s a good time to take some nudes.
Whether you’re replenishing your stash or have free time and want to experiment with your living room’s flattering 2 p.m. lighting, now is the moment to take, and perhaps send, some naked photos. (Of course, you’ll first want to make sure the receiver wants to receive your photos.)
Below, our best advice on how to take a great nude, whether or not you own a full-length mirror.
Natural lighting is generally good, so if you have a room in your matchbox apartment that gets some sun in the afternoon, take advantage of it on your lunch break. If not, a well-placed desk lamp is very useful. My friend Jane suggests setting your light source up so it comes from a single angle, which means you can work more easily with shadows; Annabelle, another friend, recommends two different light sources for further fine-tuning. Both lean toward using a warm (yellow-colored) light — “it’s more flattering and less clinical-looking,” Jane explains. (If you only have cool white light, try draping a thin colored scarf or blouse over it to change the tone.)
Also consider candles, which serve all of the above purposes and are useful if you’ve missed peak daylight hours. And two words: string lights. They create a similar effect as candles, and you don’t have to roll around nude near a naked flame.
Avoid the following objects, which make for rather bleak milieu: toilets, trash cans, large piles of laundry, dirty dishes, and litter boxes.
What to include instead: books, candles, plants, clean furniture, exposed brick, attractive lamps. Props, too, are useful — think fruits, flowers, rope, a baguette; in general, the idea is not to distract but to enhance. That said, the nude is extremely subjective, and a lot depends on what you want to communicate. For passion, try a bitten lip and lacy bra . For indifference, maybe leave that pile of laundry in the shot. Adjust accordingly.
So your only mirror is in your dingy little bathroom. It’s fine; mirrors are not necessary for an excellent nude. This is where the belly-flop nude comes in: You take it while lying on your stomach on your bed. It’s perfect if you’re a little bloated or sleepy.
Here’s what you do: Lie on your tummy and either bend your knees to push your butt up, or place a pillow under your thighs. The idea is to highlight the curve of your back and butt.
Another simple, mirror-free approach: Sit on the side of your bed (or a couch) and take the photo from above. It highlights the chest and thighs and is an easy option in terms of setup and execution. Take it completely nude, or with saucy undergarments.
There’s also the bathtub nude. This can be of anything! Take a photo of your knees, feet, legs, whatever. The way the water captures the light is very pleasing, and you can also use things like bubble bath to your creative advantage: Conceal and reveal to your heart’s content.
Mirrorless nudes are also a good opportunity to take a more discreet photo. Don’t underestimate the power of suggestion; the sending of a nude is all about the sensual energy of sharing something intimate, like a stolen kiss or a secret. For this, Jane suggests a “pouty lip and exposed shoulder combo.” Drape a robe, loose top, or bed sheet around your body, and shrug it off of one shoulder. Then, take the selfie so that it cuts off right above your lips, exposing the shoulder, throat, and maybe a little bit of cleavage. The photo is ostensibly chaste, but the effect is very sexy and a bit boudoir.
Congratulations! Your nudes can take on a completely different dimension.
If your mirror is movable, lean it against the wall. Tilt it at a 70-ish degree angle: This will make you look longer and leaner. If you’re doing a full-body shot, Annabelle suggests placing one leg in front of the other to accentuate length. She also suggested “pushing one hip out to highlight curves and sharpen your waist”; a half-turn “to show off the butt,” she says, is an easy and elegant pose, and useful if you’re trying to camouflage a tummy rumbling with beans .
My colleague, Brock Colyar, maintains that the key to a good nude is “a floor-length or vanity mirror that is in need of a good Windex … The grimy mirror doesn’t give too much away (including your identity), and leaves some stuff up to their imagination.”
While many people tend to default to staged nudes, there are also merits to taking a more spontaneous approach. A friend of mine, Ava, a designer whose aesthetic taste I trust deeply, is a proponent of the in-the-moment nude, which involves sending one as (somewhat) of a surprise.
She maintains that the excitement of taking a photo at random, and the response from a delighted receiver, is the most titillating part of taking nudes: “There’s something thrilling about an ‘in-the-moment’ nude — a fresh pic — rather than a stock nude on your phone,” she says, likening the latter to a photo on Getty Images.
That said, she advises that there should, ideally, be a satisfying lead-up to the photo — “a dramatic arc,” e.g., saucy texts , flirting, etc. — beforehand. This kind of exchange can also help you ensure that the person actually wants to see the photo.
The spontaneous nude generally requires you to slip into a bathroom or unoccupied room; you can take the photo from an angle slightly above your head, exposing cleavage. Or, consider taking a straight-on shot of your boobs, which you can grasp in a sort of single-hand-bra for volume.
Use your timer! If you don’t have a phone stand, there are plenty of DIY options (like binder clips or plastic credit cards or gift cards you no longer need). And if you’re not taking an on-the-fly nude, Ava suggests treating this process like a “photo shoot” and doing plenty of takes. She adds that “mindful cropping,” too, is your friend.
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