How To Get A Free Blowjob

How To Get A Free Blowjob
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.

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Here's everything you need to know about giving a life-changing BJ.
Giving a blowjob can be a little intimidating if you’ve never done it before. And even if you are a seasoned blowjob pro, you can still get jitters when your partner whips it out. There are a ton of questions that can run through your head: What if they don't like it? What if their penis smells weird? What if it tastes weird? What if I get pubic hair in my mouth? What if they want me to deepthroat and I can’t?
Since there are certain variables you can't control, like smell and taste—although that said, you could politely suggest a pre-sex cleaning routine —you should focus on the things you can do to ensure that it's a good experience for all parties, like learning about various positions, techniques, and sex toys for giving a blowjob. (This won’t just make it great for your partner, it’ll also make the BJ experience more enjoyable for you!)
Before we get into the nitty gritty of how to give a blowjob, it's important to note that everyone is different, and what may feel good to one penis-owner might not feel great to another. Besides, the psychological aspect of having someone’s lips around your penis is what makes blowjobs so enticing for many folks.
“When men talk to me about missing blowjobs or not getting them, they're not usually talking about the physical pleasure; they’re talking about the psychological pleasure and what a blowjob means to them erotically,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, sex therapist, and author of So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex . That’s because “the physical pleasure of fellatio is fairly straightforward and in a certain sense, a guy could give himself the same sensations with his own hand and some lube.”
There are elements of power, dominance, and submission involved in a blowjob, but also trust. This person has your most prized possession in their mouth and could easily do some damage with their teeth.
“A partner brings their own sense of presence and creativity to the blowjob experience,” Kerner says. “The giver brings their own sense of play and psychological themes—that's what makes it feel good.”
Even though blowjobs are often about the psychological thrill, there are still many universal dos and don’ts of giving a great BJ. And the more tools you have in your BJ toolbox, the more things you can switch to in case you get a feeling that your partner isn’t enjoying it as much as they could. (You also don’t want to tire yourself out, so it’s good having various techniques to switch things up.)
In this explainer, we’re going to provide all we can to help you give the best damn blowjob ever. In addition to speaking with Kerner, was also spoke to Michael Ingber , MD, a urologist and urogynecologist at Garden State Urology and Ashley Cobb , Lovehoney’s sex toy educator. With their tips below, you’ll be giving earth-shattering, toe-curling blowjobs in no time.
When you’re watching porn, you may notice that often, the person receiving the blowjob starts completely erect and the blowjob giver immediately downs his penis, sucking as hard as possible.
“Even if he's hard at the commencement of fellatio, don't assume it's a full erection,” Kerner says. “This means going slow and light and getting that blood moving into the genitals. Tap the penis with fingers, tease the glans with your tongue. Apply some light pinches up and down the shaft. You can even tickle and graze the shaft with your fingers/fingernails.” Then, once your partner’s penis is fully erect and filled with blood, you can start sucking with more force.
You may think that you only use your mouth during a blowjob and your hand(s) during a handjob, but “a good blowjob is a collaboration between hands and mouth,” Kerner says. For one, you will tucker yourself out if you only use your mouth. There’s a reason why it’s called a blow job . It’s a goddamn job to give great head, and requires a ton of work. Second, you want to be able to stimulate your partner’s entire penis. Unless if you’re porn performer Sasha Grey or another deepthroating master, you won’t be able to get their entire penis inside your mouth, especially if they’re on the bigger side. You want to be able to stimulate the highly sensitive head and the shaft at the same time.
A good starting point for getting your hand involved is wrapping it around your partner's penis and moving it up and down in rhythm with your head—like your cupped hand is an extension of your mouth. Make sure there's enough saliva so that your hand can slide up and down easily—which brings us to the next point:
“When giving great head, there's no such thing as too much spit,” Cobb says. “Saliva serves as a natural lubricant and reduces painful friction, which takes away from pleasure when performing fellatio.”
Don’t be afraid to spit directly on the penis before and during a blowjob. If you notice that your mouth gets dry while giving a BJ, consider taking mouth-watering mints that help increase saliva production .
Pay attention to his stroke when he's masturbating or when you're having sex,” Cobb says. “When he's about to climax, does he go faster like a rabbit? Does he keep a steady tempo? What else do you notice he does when touching himself?” You’ll see when some people stroke, they tend to go slowly. Others move their hands so quickly, they become a blur, whereas others solely focus on the head of their penis, ignoring their shaft entirely. You want to copy their masturbatory rhythm with your own mouth and hands.
You can use angles to provide various sensations. “There are several different textures at your disposal in your mouth: the roughness of your tongue, the ridgy roof of your mouth, the smoothness of the insides of your cheeks,” Cobb says. “Use all of these textures to create dynamic pleasure for your partner.”
In addition to sucking, you can lick your partner's penis along the shaft, swirl your tongue around the head, and “flick” the head of their penis from the inside of your cheeks.
When giving blowjobs, a lot of people focus solely on the head and shaft of the penis. Yes, those two areas should be primary focuses, but they shouldn’t be the only thing you’re stimulating when you’re going down on your partner. “While going down, you can cup the balls,” Kerner says. Some guys even like to have their testicles sucked on lightly. (If you pull their testicles too far down or away from their body, it can be painful, so be careful.) “You can also tap or apply pressure to the perineum ,” Kerner says. (The perineum is the area between the testicles and the anus, and it’s a highly-erogenous zone that feels fantastic when stimulated.)
Porn would lead you to believe that the only way to give a blowjob is down on your knees while your partner stands in front of you. And while getting on your knees can be a sexy way to play with power dynamics—not to mention puts your mouth directly at penis height—it's far from the only way to go down on someone. There are so many amazing blowjob positions out there.
Your partner is probably used to masturbating with their hand, and you can grip a lot harder with your hands than with a pair of lips. Translation: most penis-owners are accustomed to climaxing with more pressure on and around their penis. After you start slowly and your partner’s penis is fully erect, don’t be afraid to suck more forcefully with your lips to apply more pressure. For the most part, you don’t need to worry about sucking “too hard”—but feel free to pause and ask your partner how it feels, then adjust accordingly if need be.
Edging is when you bring your partner right to the point of climax—the “edge” of orgasm—then stop, rest, and repeat. When you finally do let your partner orgasm, the orgasm tends to be far more powerful, full-body, and euphoric than if you let them ejaculate the first time around. “Edging is really fun to play with,” Kerner says. It can be an ultimate tease and a great way to incorporate elements of power play.
If your partner is open to the idea, incorporate prostate stimulation while you’re blowing them. “Many men masturbate with a prostate stimulator or butt plug. These toys can be used in combination with fellatio, making for unparalleled pleasure,” Kerner says. You can include prostate massagers , anal beads , butt plugs , or another anal-focus sex toy while blowing them. Or, you can finger your partner , targeting the prostate while you go down.
There's a lot a partner can do with a standard vibrator to enhance pleasure. “Vibration applied to the penis really gets those pleasurable nerve endings tingling,” Kerner says. “Place the vibrator against the shaft and wrap your hands around the toy, and then just lick, suck, and tease the head of his penis with your tongue.” A vibrator also feels good under the testicles and pressed against the perineum, too!
There is a clear beginning, middle, and end to a blowjob. In the beginning, you start slowly and get your partner rock-hard. The middle is all about that sucking and hand stuff to get your partner to the point of orgasm, and the finale is what to do when your partner is about to (and does) climax.
Your partner will likely tell you when they're getting close, at which point, “Apply more pressure at the base and more friction at the head,” Kerner says. Sometimes, folks who are new to blowjobs think getting close means you should back off—nope! If he’s about to climax, you need to amp it a little bit in preparation for the big finale.
All too often, blowjob givers stop right as their partner starts to ejaculate. Don’t do that! “Like when he masturbates, robust manual stimulation through orgasm will feel just fine, so make sure to continue stimulation through the entire orgasm,” Kerner says. That said, there’s a small window for when you need to stop applying pressure. (After an orgasm, a penis can feel hyper-sensitive, so touching it all will result in too much stimulation.) Typically your partner will let you know when to stop, so just wait for their cue. If they don’t signal anything, just wait until after they're finished ejaculating, and then stop.
“Think about where you want him to come, whether it’s in your mouth, somewhere on your body, or into your hand,” Kerner says. If you don’t want them to ejaculate in your mouth, switch from orally stimulating them to manually stimulating while they finish. If you don’t like your partner ejaculating on your face, then don’t put your face right in front of their penis while they orgasm. If you genuinely have no preference where they ejaculate, then ask them as they get close, “Where do you want to cum?”
Porn makes it seem like in order to give a good blowjob, you have to magically unhinge your jaw like a snake to fit your partner's entire penis in your mouth. This simply isn’t true.
“Never feel pressured to deepthroat,” Kerner says. “It’s a totally unnecessary aspect of fellatio.” That said, you may be someone who gets turned on by fitting your partner’s entire penis in your mouth, or you may be indifferent towards it but are down because you know your partner is into it. In case this is you, here are a couple of tips.
It can sometimes become difficult to breathe when deepthroating, even through your nose, so make sure to take necessary breaks. “This should go without saying but breathing and deepthroating can be a complicated task,” Cobb says.
“When it comes to deepthroating, positioning matters,” Cobb says. You want your throat and the penis to be in alignment.” The alignment will heavily depend on the curvature of your partner’s penis. “ Studies have been done identifying penile curvature and have found that 32.7% of men had dorsal curvature (upward), 19.1% of men had ventral curvature (down), 24.5% had lateral curvature (to one side), and 7% of men had no curvature,” Ingber notes. Note that the pharynx (the part of the throat used while deepthroating) does curve downward (i.e., straight to the back of the throat by the tonsils, then down). “So in a penis with downward or ventral curvature, straight-on blowjobs (i.e., when you’re on your knees and sucking) would be best. In men with significant upward curvature, a 69 position (where you’re upside-down) may be best.”
If there is one bit of advice we can give you while giving a blowjob, it's to enjoy it. It’s incredibly arousing seeing how turned on and “into it” the blowjob giver gets when giving head. Your partner will see how much you’re loving giving them a BJ and worshipping their penis, and that will make them love the blowjob even more.

How to Get a Blow Job From Your Wife Even If She Doesn't Like Giving Oral

MLA Style Citation:

Hutson, Jack C. "How to Get a Blow Job From Your Wife Even If She Doesn't Like Giving Oral."
How to Get a Blow Job From Your Wife Even If She Doesn't Like Giving Oral .
1 Aug. 2011 EzineArticles.com.
11 Jul. 2022 < http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Get-a-Blow-Job-From-Your-Wife-Even-If-She-Doesnt-Like-Giving-Oral&id=6465401 >.

APA Style Citation:

Hutson, J. C. (2011, August 1). How to Get a Blow Job From Your Wife Even If She Doesn't Like Giving Oral .
Retrieved July 11, 2022, from http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Get-a-Blow-Job-From-Your-Wife-Even-If-She-Doesnt-Like-Giving-Oral&id=6465401

Chicago Style Citation:

Hutson, Jack C. "How to Get a Blow Job From Your Wife Even If She Doesn't Like Giving Oral." How to Get a Blow Job From Your Wife Even If She Doesn't Like Giving Oral
EzineArticles.com . http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Get-a-Blow-Job-From-Your-Wife-Even-If-She-Doesnt-Like-Giving-Oral&id=6465401

By
Jack C Hutson |

Submitted On August 01, 2011

I understand that your wife doesn't like giving oral, that's why you are here. No worries, I'm sure you can change her mind with some simple psychology. I'll give you a few simple tips for getting her to give you a blow job, even if it seems hopeless at the moment.
What you have to learn is what motivates her to give blow jobs in the first place. It's the "what's in it for me?" question that's spinning around in her head. If know how to make that "Why?" BIG enough, she'll initiate giving you oral herself, so you'll never have to beg for a blow job again. I am sure that you can actually get your wife to ENJOY giving you oral - even more than having sex. Here's how.
a) As I said - understand what motivates her. I'll save you the time to research this and get to the point. When a woman is REALLY attracted to you, when she feels that she WANTS and, more importantly, NEEDS You in her life - she'll give her best to please you, including regular, passionate oral sex. That's why your first step toward getting more oral from your wife is by becoming more attractive to her. Work out, make more money (start a business), gain a higher social status, and behave more confidently. Let her feel confidence in whatever you do. Travel. Get more power, and you'll get more oral sex from your wife.
b) When you do what I mentioned in section a), she'll want you and need you more, and then the "Why?" will be Bigger for her, so she'll naturally feel that it's not just her duty, but her NEED to satisfy you with great blow jobs. Another thing you have to do to get your wife to give you oral is to connect positive feelings in her head to BJs.
There might be something from the past that turned her off from blow jobs in general. In case she gave you regular oral before you got married or just more serious, and now she doesn't, it's because you took her for granted and you started behaving with less self-confidence. You got lazy. In the beginning, she could feel how much you want her, and you were giving your best to satisfy her too in bed, now you don't. Not as much as you used to. Remember, you have to give first. When you give her amazing oral, she'll feel like she owes you. Not only that, but she'll also view you as more valuable and more worthy of her going through the effort of satisfying you.
Over time, this will grow into her being ADDICTED to giving you oral sex.
c) Now that you understand a bit more about what motivates a woman to give you blow jobs, I have to tell you about a simple persuasion tactic. You will get more oral from your wife when you make her feel GREAT when she has her lips and tongue all over your penis. When you get her to go down on you - moan loud, give her compliments, tell her how great it feels, look at her with fascination. When you orgasm, cuddle afterward, smile, laugh. Reward your wife after she did something that you like. I know this sounds like training a dog, well - it's just not a dog, it's your wife, but the principles remain simple. We are all animals, in a way, after all. After some time, she'll create a positive connection in her brain about giving you oral.
"When I give him oral... as a result I end up feeling GREAT later" - so, the conclusion is "I should give him more blow jobs."
These are some basic tips for getting your wife to give you more oral sex. They will get you ahead, but won't guarantee you a blow job every day of the week. Now, if you want to learn more advanced persuasion tactics that can convince almost any guy's wife to give him oral - then you have to read my book: Jack's Blowjob Persuasion [http://jacksblowjobpersuasion.com/], a step by step, no-nonsense guide with proven brainwashing tactics that work like magic. You can read it by Clicking Here [http://jacksblowjobpersuasion.com/]. This is a guide that can get your wife addicted to giving You head and doing it like a Pro ( and swallowing! ). Don't read Jack's BJ Persuasion if you don't want to receive oral at least 3 times per week.
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