How To Gape Asshole

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How To Gape Asshole
https://www.thebody.com/article/pro-bottoms-best-butthole-tips
They say practice makes perfect, and nowhere is this expression more applicable than when bottoming. Nobody wakes up with the ability to take something large up their ass; these things come with experience and dedication. It’s a massive accomplishment, like being an Olympic athlete in anal.
Not unlike for most athletes, it takes serious training to become a pro bottom. But, where an Olympic rower may train their arms and core, a pro bottom exercises their sphincter muscle. It’s a muscle that becomes stronger and more flexible the more you work it out. When a sphincter becomes more flexible, it’s better able to accommodate bigger cocks and toys.
Since there is no such thing as a personal anal trainer (though that’s not a bad idea), we reached out to some of the industry’s most talented asses for their tips on taking your anal talents to impressive new heights.
Similar to how you’d practice before game day, you’re best off playing with toys before playing with a partner. This way, there is no pressure to perform, and you can proceed at a pace that you’re comfortable with.
“Take the time to get to know your own hole before you get fucked,” says adult entertainer and pro bottom Devin Franco . “You’ll also be more confident and active because you know what you want, rather than just laying there and taking it.”
It was through sex toys that Franco learned his trademark anal-gaping technique. “Regular play with toys helps you connect with your hole,” he tells TheBody. “Over time, you learn how to push your hole open and relax in that state.”
Adult entertainer and BDSM star Lydia Black has another trick for gaping: “It’s getting air trapped inside your asshole,” she says, warning that farting is inevitable. “The easiest way I can get air in my ass is face down, ass up, and just repeatedly putting things all the way in and out of my ass. It can happen with any size dildo and doesn’t always have to be huge.”
In addition to anal training, becoming a pro bottom requires research. Do some reading on the anatomy of your b-hole so you can better understand how it functions and its limitations. Once you know the basics (like the fact that we have not one, but two anal sphincters), it’s time you explore your own anatomy.
“Everybody is different, and some people’s external sphincter stretches easier than their internal one or vice versa, so after you’ve learned how the hole operates, take some time to get to know your butthole personally,” Black says.
Franco agrees. “If you take the time to get to know your own hole before you get fucked, you’re better able to let go of your insecurities and inhibitions and take dick like the hungry bottom you know you are.”
Anal training is instrumental in avoiding potential injury or trauma. This goes for everyone, whether you’re just a beginner or an expert looking to upsize.
Anal training doesn’t take long––maybe five minutes, 10 minutes at most. When training, insert the toy a little over an inch inside the body. This is where the internal and external sphincters are located (aka: the area most people experience discomfort).
As with most workouts, aim for four or five sets. As a general rule, take a week or two before graduating to a larger size, provided you’re training the muscle two to four times a week. If at any point you’re met with resistance, don’t get discouraged. Just pull the toy out, re-lubricate, and try again. A good tip is to push out with your hole as you slide the toy in, as if you’re having a bowel movement.
If you experience pain, however, stop what you’re doing, take a break, and train using a smaller toy when your body is ready.
If your aspirations are to take a fist or a large penis or toy, standard douching may not cut it. “Learn the art of using a shower douche,” Franco says. “It will become your best friend, but just like everything in bottoming, there’s a learning curve—i.e., don’t fill your guts up with water like it’s a tank of gasoline.”
To Franco’s point, you don’t have to douche when engaging in most forms of anal play, as the area most penises come in contact with, the rectum, doesn’t actually contain poop. The area above this, known as the sigmoid colon, which is 6 to 9 inches inside your booty hole, is where poop is actually stored and can be accessed beyond the rectosigmoid junction, aka the “second hole.”
This area is quite sensitive and can only be reached with larger toys and penises, so some prefer a deeper clean to feel more comfortable. You have to be careful though, as douching is a very delicate process that irritates cells in the area and can cause long-term damage when done incorrectly––which is more common than you think. An estimated 88% of men who practice receptive anal intercourse douche improperly, often by using too much water or force.
The issue with shower douches (or “shower shots”) is that they are very long and can end up way higher inside your colon than necessary. Not to mention, most shower hoses don’t regulate water pressure, meaning you can easily introduce too much water to the area, creating a balloon effect and distending the rectum. So if you do choose to use a shower douche, do so sparingly and clean as gently as possible.
If you really want to impress, show your sexual partner that you can’t only take a dick, but flex on it like you’re giving it a massage.
“You want to create a mind/muscle connection with your hole,” Franco explains. “It’s best to squeeze on their cock while they are pulling out when fucking you. Anal Kegels are a great way to strengthen and connect with those muscles in your sphincter.”
To perform Kegels, insert a toy and flex your muscles around it using the same amount of reps you would when anal training.
This is a similar technique to one that adult entertainer Dolf Dietrich uses to impress while getting rimmed. “I developed a technique when my ex [Jack Mackenroth] was eating me out that we called, ‘pulsing my pussy,’” he shares. “I would push out and pull in my sphincter as he gobbled on my hole and it drove him wild.”
Before you set off on your journey toward b-hole enlightenment, remind yourself that anal prowess isn’t going to happen overnight, nor will it be achieved without consistency and dedication. This is especially important since anal sex, when done improperly, can be traumatic to the body, and we need to respect ourselves. Don’t rush things; your body will let you know when it’s ready.
Bobby Box is a freelance writer and certified sex educator. He's currently Grindr's sex columnist and his work has been published in Daily Beast, Playboy , Askmen, Elle , NewNowNext, The Advocate , and more.
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by
Dan Savage
January 8th, 2020 April 15th, 2022
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I have a question about porn, and I can’t think who else I can ask that will give me an intelligent, educated answer. In modern porn, anal on women is gaining popularity. I’m a fan of anal with my boyfriend. However, in porn, it seems like the gaping asshole is a thing, a sought after thing, a desired thing. And I guess my boyfriend and I don’t get it. We can get quite vigorous when we have anal sex, but MY butthole never gapes open like that—my boyfriend assures me that when he pulls out, it goes back to its cute little flower-like effect. Why is the gaping asshole so popular? I promise this is not a frivolous question or just for titillation. We really do wonder: What gives? —Gaining Anal Perspective Entails Serious Question
It’s funny how a chief fear about anal sex—that your asshole would gape open afterward and poop would fall out while you walked down the street—became eroticized. (The asshole gaping open part, not the poop falling out part.) Did I say funny, GAPESQ? I meant predictable. Because a big part of the collective human subconscious is always at work eroticizing our fears, and the gaping-open, just-been-fucked, completely “wrecked” asshole many people feared inevitably became something some people found hot. And as more people began experimenting with anal sex—as anal went mainstream over the last two decades—people realized that the anal sphincter is a muscle and the secret to successful anal intercourse is learning to relax that muscle. Situationally, not permanently. You could relax, get loose, gape after, post the video to a porn tube, and then tighten back up. Now, not everyone thinks a wide-open, gaping asshole is desirable. And not everyone, in the immortal words of Valerie Cherish, needs (or wants) to see that. —Dan Savage
Honest question: If you, being a homosexual, don’t die from HIV, will you have to wear a diaper before the age of 42? Optional question: What does a prolapsed rectum look like? I bet you can describe it without doing an image search. —Sickening Homosexuals Are Malignant Errors
Honest answers: I know you meant this to be hate mail, SHAME, but I’m just thrilled someone out there thinks I’m not 42 yet. Also, I’m HIV-negative—last time I checked—but even if I were to seroconvert (go from HIV-negative to HIV-positive), a person with HIV who has access to meds can expect to live as long as a person without HIV. Also, a person with HIV who is on meds and has a zero viral load (no trace of the virus can be detected in their blood) cannot infect another person. So even if I were to contract HIV after all these years, SHAME, I would likely live long enough to die of something else, and, once I got on meds, I couldn’t pass HIV on to anyone else. And quickly: I’m way past 42 and not in a diaper yet, thank you very much. And while some people think a prolapsed rectum looks like a rosebud, I happen to think a prolapsed rectum looks like a ball of lean hamburger. And the first one I ever saw—and, no, I didn’t need to do an image search because it makes a real impression—was in straight porn, not gay porn. —DS
P.S. If you can’t think about gay men without thinking about our poops and the diapers you hope we’re wearing and our meaty prolapsed rectums, SHAME, that says a lot more about you than it does about gay people.
My significant other wants me to delete any NSFW pictures of my exes, but I don’t feel comfortable with that. I don’t have an emotional attachment to my exes or really look at these photos anymore, but I feel that old pictures saved on old computers aren’t doing any harm and deleting them won’t fix my partner’s insecurity. —Personal Images Causing Strife
Accommodating a partner’s irrational insecurity is sometimes the price we pay to make an otherwise healthy and functional relationship work, PICS, as I recently told another reader. But one possible workaround—one possible accommodation—is telling your insecure partner what they want to hear even if it isn’t true. Telling a partner who is concerned about safety that you’re using condoms with others when you’re not isn’t okay, of course, just as telling a potential partner you’re single when you’re not isn’t okay. But telling a partner that you deleted photos you never look at on a password-protected computer they can’t look at … yeah, that’s a lie you don’t have to feel too awful about telling. —DS
How long after using an oil-based lubricant do I have to wait before I can safely use latex condoms? Not right after, presumably. Next day? Next week? Next century? I’ve been experimenting with oil-based CBD lube for hand/toy stuff, but I’m worried about the timing relative to penetrative sex. —Oily Inside
“Oil and latex condoms do NOT mix, period,” said Melissa White, CEO of Lucky Bloke, an online condom shop, and a condom expert. “Using an oil-based lubricant with a condom can cause the condom to leak and/or break. And unlike water-based lubes, oils do not evaporate readily. While oil is absorbed over time, that absorption rate likely varies based on many factors, including age. Oiling up internally? Now we’re talking vaginal versus anal absorption rates! The bottom line: We have not found sufficient studies to issue a reliable recommendation on what an overall safe time frame might be. So here’s the deal: Oil or condoms—choose one.”
I would add only this: Condoms made out of polyurethane are more expensive, but you can safely use them with oil-based lube. —DS
I’m a straight guy who loves the female body—the look, touch, and smell. I’m in my mid-30s, I’ve never had a serious relationship, and I don’t know if I’m capable of falling in love. I’m exclusively into trans women, and I’ve kept it a secret because it’s nobody’s business. If I were in love, I’d make it public, but that hasn’t happened. I can’t help but feel like this is an addiction, and I’m ashamed of it. I’m sure I’m not the first straight guy who’s into trans women who’s written to you. Where do I go from here? —Straight And Struggling
While dating someone in secret isn’t impossible, SAS, it rarely leads to long-term love. Being kept hidden because you’re trans (or you’re gay or you’re big) and the person you’re dating hasn’t gotten over their shame about being attracted to trans people (or members of their own sex or bigger people) … well, it sucks to be someone’s dirty secret. And a healthy trans (or gay or big) person—the kind of person you might be able to fall in love with—isn’t going to put up with that shit. So it’s a catch-22: So long as you keep the women you date a secret, none of them are going to stay in your life for long. They’ll be either so damaged you want them out of your life or not damaged enough to want you in theirs. —DS
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Nope, we’re not talking about putting your penis in your lady’s asshole. We’re talking about stimulating your asshole. If you’re like many straight guys, your interest in this article just plummeted. Lots of straight men are turned off by the idea of anal play (to be fair, many bi and gay men are too), and as a result are missing out on a whole world of fun. Today we’re here to convince you that it’s time to stop ignoring your ass.
This is the third in a multi-part series from After Hours about anal play. You can see the other posts in the series as they come out here .
Because it feels good! End of paragraph.
Seriously though, your anus and rectum are full of nerve endings, just like your penis. Your rectum is also home to your prostate gland , another pleasure center. In fact, you can have an orgasm from stimulation of the prostate gland alone—something a lot of straight men don’t know. Anal play feels great on its own, and can lead to unbelievably intense orgasms.
Plus, it’s a little taboo, which makes it exciting. Even though anal for guys shouldn’t be taboo, it is, and exploring the taboo can add a naughty intensity to your sex life. There are a number of different ways to play with your anus (which we’ll get to shortly), and it’s exciting to venture into uncharted territory.
No. It’s a shame that so many guys still operate under the caveman-like mentality that “butt = gay.” Listen, guys, your sexual identity is defined by the gender of people you’re attracted to, not by the parts of your body that you play with. Lots of bi and gay men enjoy oral sex. Does enjoying oral sex “make you gay” too? Of course not.
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The simple fact of the matter is that there are nerve endings in your anus. It feels good to have stimulation there. But the only way anal play defines your sexuality is if you want another guy to stimulate your anus and you choose to identify yourself as gay.
If the idea of going straight for your anus is too intimidating to you, you can experiment with your grundle first. The grundle, taint, or otherwise known by it’s fancier name, the perineum , is the strip of skin between your testicles and your anus. Stimulating it will give you a little hint of what anal play can feel like. It responds well to firm pressure, so try using your middle finger to give it a massage while you masturbate. You can also ask your lady to massage the area with her knuckle while she gives you a handjob or blowjob.
It’s worth exploring your anus on your own first. Check out our article on beginners butt play for some tips. Even if you don’t love your experience with solo anal play, it’s worth asking a partner to take a trip to your anus. Anal play can feel a lot better when someone else is performing the deed. If you feel nervous asking your lady to put her finger in your butt, send her this article and say something like, “I’d never thought of doing this before, but this article makes it seem like something worth trying. Are you game?” She’s entitled to her own sexual boundaries, so she may say no. But a good sexual partner should at least be respectful of your requests. If she makes any mocking or derogatory comments, she’s not a keeper.
You’ve got a butt, but (heh) the odds are that you’re probably ignoring it. Your ass has the…
If she’s willing to give it a shot, get yourself cleaned up and ready to go. Have her start giving you a handjob or blowjob. Make sure you’re aroused before venturing into backdoor territory. When you tell her you’re ready, have her start with touching her lubed-up fingertip to your asshole. She should keep her finger there and continue her other activities. If it’s feeling good to you, ask her to push her finger in up to the first knuckle. Have her push in slowly, hold her finger there for a second, then slowly ease it back out. She should continue at this pace for a few rounds. If you’re into it, you can ask her to go in further, to pick up her pace, or to do both.
Keep communicating about what feels best for you. From there, enjoy the ride and congratulate yourself for being evolved enough to experience the joys of anal play!

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