How To Fuck Rough
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How To Fuck Rough
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Sex can suit any mood or moment from intimate and romantic to hot and dirty. Another point on that scale is just plain rough sex . And that doesn’t have to mean incorporating any strange fantasies, difficult positions, or floggers. All you have to do is tweak the positions you already know and love to amp up the roughness factor for an unforgettable romp. Trust.
Need some ideas? Check out these sexy suggestions from Emily Morse, Ph.D., founder and host of the Sex with Emily podcast, and then try them with your partner tonight.
You'll be breaking barriers, one spank and hair pull at a time.
Even though you’re upside down here, you both have control of the motion and depth of penetration. Yours might be more of a workout, but any extra work and sweat in a sex sesh just makes it hotter (and rougher). If you want him to take control, he can use his hands for some spanking or anal play .
How to do it: Place your hands on the floor and have him pull your waist so your legs are on either side of his hips.
This one is super-intimate, as he can wrap his arms around you to hold you tight, but he’s also hands-free to explore your body—he can squeeze your nipples or grab onto your hair.
How to do it: Have him sit on the edge of a bed or a chair and lower yourself onto his shaft facing away from him.
You probably recognize this one as doggy style, known for being a hot position for both of you. And with some tweaks, you can up the rough factor by hair pulling, spanking, and positioning yourselves in front of a mirror so you can both watch.
How to do it: Get on all fours and have him kneel behind you. He enters from behind while holding your hips or boobs .
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With you on top, you’re rocking the movement, depth, and speed, and he’ll love seeing your body in action. To kick it up a notch, you can also tie his hands together or pin down his arms down with your knees to really take control. Another option: Have him wear a penis ring for maximum mutual stimulation. (Try this vibrating ring from the Women's Health Boutique.)
How to do it: Straddle him with your knees bent. Push off of his chest to slide up and down.
Giddy up, reverse cowgirl. This one combines the hotness of doggy with the sexy dominance of you on top. He’s hands-free here to explore and to get a little rough. This one is also ideal for anal play , since he’s got easy access and you’re on top to guide him down there.
How to do it: He lies on his back while you straddle him, facing away from him.
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Jenn Sinrich
Jenn Sinrich is an experienced writer, digital and social editor, and content strategist covering health, fitness, beauty, and relationships.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
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Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
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Women's Health may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only feature products we believe in.
Why trust us?
Sure, it might not be for everyone. But more women are in favor of rough, dominating, and submissive sex than against it. According to a study by the University of North Texas, 57 percent of sexually active ladies are turned on by the idea of forceful sex . “It all comes down to the fact that we want to be desired,” says Claudia Six, Ph.D., sexologist, relationship coach and author of Erotic Integrity: How to Be True to Yourself Sexually . And that's totally natural and integral to a healthy, satisfying sex life, says Six.
But what “ rough sex ” means to you depends a lot on your comfort level. From some, it could be as hardcore as slapping or bondage, says Dawn Michael, Ph.D., certified sexuality counselor, clinical sexologist, and author of My Husband Won’t Have Sex With Me . For others, it could be as minimal as trying a new position.
Here’s how to leave soft sex behind and turn up the heat just enough.
Do It with Someone You Trust
Rough sex is best with someone you’re in a relationship with or at least know well. “Aside from the safety perspective, you should feel comfortable enough to test out your true desires and fantasies with this person,” says Michael. But being single is no reason to deny yourself a gratifying ponytail pull. “I just wouldn’t advise doing it with a total stranger who doesn’t know you or your limitations,” she says.
“It all comes down to the fact that we want to be desired.”
Discuss Before Getting Down
Tell your partner in advance that you want to try something spicier in the sack before asking him to tie you up mid-romp. “Frame the conversation in a positive way right off the bat,” says Grant Brenner, M.D., a board-certified psychiatrist in New York City and author of IRRELATIONSHIP: How We Use Dysfunctional Relationships to Hide from Intimacy . For example, tell your partner that you trust him and feel comfortable enough to share your fantasy with him. “Then, bring up the idea of rough sex in a way that doesn't feel shameful .” It’s normal to be anxious about how your partner will respond, but try not to let embarrassment creep in, says Brenner.
Make a To-Do and a To-Don't List
It's important to go over some ground rules before busting out the handcuffs. This will help you both figure out what you're comfortable doing—and don’t skimp on the details. “Be crystal clear about how rough you want your hair pulled or how hard and frequently you want to be spanked,” says Six. He wants to provide pleasure for you—so your job is to tell him how , says Six. Talk about the parts of rough sex that appeal to you, like being overpowered or having someone do forbidden things to you that you can't prevent. And don’t forget to discuss whether you should play rough back or remain subservient.
Take It Slow
Start with a simple bondage technique to get a feel for what it's like to submit to your partner. Grab a scarf or ribbon and have your partner tie you to the bed or a chair. Whatever you use, make sure it’s tight enough to restrict your movements. Next, have your partner blindfold you to heighten your sensations. Then have him use ice cubes, candle wax, a vibrator, or even his hand to stimulate your erogenous zones , says Six.
When You’re Ready, Speed Things Up
There’s no shame in asking him to turn up the dial on the roughness. If you’re not getting turned on, let him know. Guide him by saying things like, "harder" or "again," says Six. If you're looking for stronger physical stimulation, ask your partner to use something a little firmer like a paddle on the intimate areas of your body. Have him go from slow to fast and soft to hard, depending on how you're feeling.
"Be crystal clear about how rough you want your hair pulled."
Do What Comes Naturally
Besides getting consent and ensuring safety, there are no rules when it comes to rough sex. “Don’t be concerned about doing something how you might have seen it in porn ,” says Six. You may reach your big O in record time or it might take longer than normal. The key is to enjoy each other.
Keep It Safe
The reality is that there’s no place for anger, frustration, or revenge in the bedroom—unless it’s part of a totally pretend fantasy. “It’s completely possible to keep a sense of spontaneity and excitement while checking in at appropriate moments to make sure both of you are comfortable with what’s happening,” says Brenner. “And if one person isn't, it’s time to slow down and shift towards something that’ll work for both of you.”
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Some people enjoy gentle lovemaking, but that’s not the only type of sex you can have. Learning how to have rough sex can unleash your own wild side, allowing you to tap into those animalistic urges and really blow off steam. And while hardcore sex doesn’t ring everyone’s bell, the unique trust dynamic that must occur for rough sex to remain safe, sane and consensual can actually bring you closer together with your partner.
Before jumping into our rough sex guide, I want to go over some very important aspects of rough sex to make sure you get as much pleasure and enjoyment out of it as possible.
Quick Warning: While this woman's story & subsequent BJ tutorial video is quite distressing, it will teach you how to make your man scream with pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having your guy completely obsessed with you and only you , then check out her story & (explicit!) blow job tutorial video here .
Please don’t skip this before you try being rough with your man!
While I know that many students of the Bad Girls Bible really enjoy rough sex, not everyone likes it. Some people just aren’t into hard sex. Or worse yet, they may have had a really bad experience with rough sex. So just because your man isn’t responsive to these rough sex techniques, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong. There are piles of other great types of sex you can try with each other.
But what if you’re open to the idea but just not sure? The idea of rough sex might seem scary to you, especially if it’s your partner asking for it and you’ve never considered it before! But it might become appealing if you understand why some people are into rough sex.
Rough sex is appealing to some because it’s seen as taboo and a bit dangerous, which is one reason why men like rough sex. Physically, it can be more intense than “vanilla” sex, and that intensity helps people to get out of their heads and really exist in the moment.
Some women like rough sex because it helps them forget about the day. Others like feeling their man’s animalistic side take over. When combined with BDSM or other forms of roleplay , the effect can be increased.
For some people, the combination of pleasure and pain is intoxicating, and those who feel especially masochistic or submissive might take pleasure knowing how much pain and punishment they can take from their partners.
With that said, rough sex can get a bad rap. Some people think that those who like it are messed up somehow, which isn’t necessarily the case. Some people might look at people who like rough sex as deviants. Because of this, you might want to keep your interest in rough sex on the down-low.
Furthermore, you might worry that having rough sex means you’ll never want vanilla sex again. Truthfully, some people need rough sex, but you can switch it up to keep things interesting.
Some people think that rough sex cannot be intimate sex , which isn’t true, either. The trust required for rough sex, as well as the intensity of feelings, can be intimate. This brings us to our next point.
One really vital aspect of having great rough sex is the ability to ‘let go’ and just enjoy it. It’s very easy for me to just advise you to ‘let go,’ but you won’t be able to do that if you don’t trust your partner. Make sure you are with someone who makes you feel comfortable with letting go and just enjoying yourself. That comfort is necessary for you to enjoy yourself and to communicate your needs.
If you’re still in a new relationship with someone, you might put off rough sex until the relationship is a bit more established. Or you might stick to more vanilla sex if you’re unsure about a partner.
One mistake that can ruin rough sex for one or both of you is not properly communicating with each other what you both want and need in bed. Even if the idea of having hot and kinky sex turns you on, there might be some trepidation. The best way to get over this is to discuss the type of sex you want to have before you get down to it!
Recognize that there are different ideas about what rough sex is. Sure, you could tie up your lover in bondage and hit him with a chain-link flogger. There’s no denying the roughness of that, but you don’t have to.
You and your sexual partners only need to go as far as you’re comfortable. There’s no keeping up with the Joneses here. Indeed, starting off gentler than you think you can handle allows you to work your way up in roughness and find your stride.
Your discussion about having rough sex should include a list of things you want to do. In fact, being specific about activities such as handcuffs can help to alleviate any concerns your partner may have if he has a more extreme idea of what rough sex is.
Safeword – Finally, you’ll want to discuss a safeword with your partner. A safeword is a word, or sometimes a gesture, that you can use to indicate when things are getting too intense and you need your lover to back off or stop entirely. You can choose any safeword; although, something that’s short and easy to say while you’re in the moment is preferable.
Besides, it’s better to be safe than sorry
One popular method is Red – Yellow – Green. You would use it similar to stoplights. If you’re having good rough sex, let your partner know by saying “green.” “Yellow” means to slow down and use caution, but you might be able to go a little longer. Finally, using a safeword of “Red” indicates that whoever is in charge needs to stop immediately.
In some instances, you or your partner might not be able to use a safeword. For example, if you’ve gagged your partner, you’ll want another way to signal. Tapping the bed or surface is one option. Another is to give your partner a ball that she/he can drop if the sex becomes too rough.
Obviously, rough sex comes with some risks. For example, binding too tightly can cut off circulation while spanking your man can leave bruises. You might not mind, but you should take a few steps to ensure things are safe as you’re learning how to have hard sex.
Check out this list of BDSM rules for more suggestions to keep hardcore sex safe.
There may be certain times when you should not engage in rough sex, including when you’re recovering from surgery or an injury or when pregnant. Use common sense. After all, rough sex is rough on your body.
When you follow these precautions along with communicating beforehand and checking in during, perhaps with a safe word, you can reduce the risks of rough sex.
Today I’m going to show you some really exciting rough sex ideas to try out with your man. Some of these ideas drift over into the realm of BDSM , so don’t be surprised if some of these rough sex suggestions are a little ‘too much’ for you.
Don’t worry if you’re having trouble coming up with moves to make your sex life hotter or rougher. When you’re just getting into it, you can use your own body and your partner’s body to make it rougher. Imagine pinning down your lover with your hands or even with your knees on his arms! Use your weight to push him up against a wall, table or the bed. There’s so much you can do!
Probably the most obvious rough sex idea is for either you or your man to get really dominant over the other. For many guys, they find it easy to dominate their partner in the bedroom. But what if you want to aggressively dominate your man?
Get Grabby & Take The Lead – Rather than waiting for your man to do anything with you, initiate sex . Grab him and take what you want. So grab his hand and pull him in for a kiss . Or grab him and lead him into the bedroom. Or grab him, push him onto the bed and then start undressing him. You’ll be surprised at how easy it is to turn guys on when you start grabbing them and taking the lead.
Get What YOU Want – Sometimes it can just be so hot when your man grabs you and takes what he wants without really caring whether you’re satisfied or not. It’s time to turn the table. So the next time you are fooling around, don’t give him a chance to take the initiative. Get him on his back, straddle him in the Cowgirl position and start grinding on him to get what you want. Your man is going to be very surprised if you’ve never done something like this with him before.
And if you’re not the dominant type? Let him be rough during sex while you submit! Here are 2 additional resources on dominating your man:
Scratching and biting isn’t something you’d normally do to someone you care about. But, when you’re having rough sex, there’s no better way to show your partner how turned on you are than by digging your nails into their back and holding them tightly.
The same goes for biting. Don’t be afraid to gently bite and nibble your man’s neck, ear lobe and shoulders as he’s thrusting into you. If biting is too extreme of a rough sex move, you can always suck and leave a mark that way! You can even give him a hickey .
Rough sex tip: use ice or a cold spoon if you need to reduce a bruise.
If biting and scratching your man is not enough of a rough thing to do in bed then you can try getting a bit more intense and slapping him. Of course, this is something that you should definitely discuss beforehand to make sure he is okay with it. Hitting can come in the form of slapping or a gentle punch, which you should avoid aiming anywhere you can hit an organ. The butt and thighs are perfect for this because they’re so fleshy. Those areas are also perfect for impact play and is why people love spanking them.
Impact play is the term that refers to hitting in general as well as using implements. This may include:
One of the best rough sex positions for impact play is with you lying over your man’s lap as he sits.
Here’s a tip for rough sex that won’t break the bank! Some of the implements require more expertise and dish out more pain than others. You can start (or stay with) household items such as a ruler, a spatula, or a hairbrush. You’ll find that some thinner items give a sharper “stingy” blow while other fatter items create a more dispersed “thudd
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