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If you’ve seen porn, then you know there’s a wide world of sexual positions out there. Maybe you’ve even tried a few of them in your time. I mean, if Joanna Angel is enjoying getting twisted around like a Kama Sutra-inspired pretzel, chances are your lady will too, right? Mmm... not so much. Just because you’ve seen it on TV does not mean you should try it at home, kids. Sexual positions are not all created equal, especially for women. So to help you out, here’s a list of 20 of the most popular sexual positions, ranked by how they feel for a woman. Disclaimer: Not all women are created equal. What’s true for one is not necessarily true for all. This is a generalization. It would behoove you to have a conversation with your partner to find out how this list ranks for her. Especially before you improvise an unwanted 69 session.
This is seriously one of the worst sexual positions ever, and whoever invented it didn’t invent a sex position so much as the beginning of an awkward conversation. So let’s clear this up right now: Women do not enjoy the 69. In order for a woman to orgasm, she has to be relaxed and stress-free. Propping ourselves up so we can service you while you service us is just plain work. We want to be sure that we’re doing a good job, so we’re busy concentrating on what we’re doing down there for you. Plus, we’re worried that our buttholes might get stuffed with nose if we buck with pleasure. If you’re orally pleasuring us, then we just want to sit back and enjoy that.
While admittedly this looks hot as hell on TV, it’s actually a lot of work for both of us. If you’re able to actually do it, it involves her arms wrapped around his neck, while he hoists her up and holds her legs open. It involves leverage, a chair, or even a wall. Sure, it looks good, but you’re both preoccupied with whether this is actually fun for either of you, and she’s definitely wondering if he thinks she’s too heavy.
Sooo… who thought up this one? Seriously, have you ever had sex before? With a human? Doing a half-handstand while a dude lifts your hips in the air and starts banging you from behind is the least comfortable position I can imagine. If you have ever gotten a girl off using the wheelbarrow, she was definitely faking.
Or perhaps you prefer “the oil driller,” because that’s exactly what this position looks like he’s doing. She’s on her back with her legs raised up over her head while he squats over her and dips (drills?) himself into her. This is fun for about 8-10 seconds before she’s thinking, “My chin is cutting off my airway and seriously put me down.”
Sure, it’s romantic. He’s sitting up and she’s straddling him and everything is all close and intimate -- but you’re not really going anywhere and very little is actually happening. There’s not enough room for the movements that need to occur for either of you to climax. But it’s definitely good for making out and smelling each other.
He lies with his legs on his bed and his torso spilling over the side, while she hops on top. Apparently the blood is supposed to rush to his OTHER head, which gives a mind-blowing orgasm. Frankly it’s not that much different for the ladies than just being on top, and it looks like it's less than comfortable for him -- but if he likes the head rush, then we say go for it! Relationships are about give and take.
Correcting the error in physics that is presented by the cradle, the lap dance adds the required amount of leverage in order for both parties to orgasm. The lap dance works with him sitting in an armless chair, while she straddles him with both her feet on the floor. With the assistance of his hands on her hips, she can use her legs to achieve the desired “up and down” motion. It’s sexy, it’s fun, and, depending on the chair, it’s ergonomically ideal.
Science says it’s much, much easier for a woman to orgasm when she’s on top. The reverse cowgirl is a fun twist on an old favorite where the woman is on top facing the man’s feet. First, he’s deeeefinitely enjoying the view. And she’s MOST LIKELY getting off. The only reason why this isn’t higher on the list is because it’s really nice to orgasm when you’re facing each other.
This is like advanced reverse cowgirl. While she’s in reverse cowgirl, he bends one knee so she is straddling only one leg. This means she can rub up against his thigh, giving extra contact to the clitoris, which, as we mentioned, is preeeetty great for sex.
This is a great position for the ladies who love doggy style, but with a little extra comfort added. She lies face-down on the bed, legs straight, while he climbs on top of her from behind. It’s relaxing for her, and hits the same spots that doggy style does, but adds for an extra level of intimacy as his body is pressed directly into hers. He is going to enjoy this because it’s pretty much a straight view of ass the entire time.
In case you are unfamiliar, the tabletop involves the woman lying flat on her back, again on a surface that matches his hip level. Her legs are up in the air at a 90-degree angle. It’s hot because it changes up your location, he’s at maximum “thrust” potential, and his and her hands are free for any extracurricular roaming.
With her legs spread, he straddles one leg and props the other one up against his chest or draped over his knee. This is awesome for him because he can get all up in there in ways that other positions just can’t reach, which coincidentally is pretty awesome for her. Plus it feels naughtier than just straight missionary, which you know you like, you wild thing, you!
This is kind of like sideways doggy style. She’s lying on her side with her legs out at a 90-degree angle to form an “L” shape (duh). He kneels up behind her and... I think you get it. Girls who like doggy style will like this because it hits similar spots without strain to her knees or back.
Have her lie on the the bed almost in missionary, while he kneels between her legs. He raises her lower back with his hands and supports her hips that way. This allows him to, once again, go just a little bit deeper and hits the elusive G-spot at a new and interesting angle.
Spooning after sex is one of the best parts about sex. So spooning during sex can only be awesome, which, spoiler alert, it is. Have her lie on her side while he lifts her top leg from behind. In this position he can be in control by grabbing her hips, rubbing her clitoris (which, if you didn’t know, is what you need to do to make her orgasm), grabbing... other things. She can increase the level of intensity by turning to hold his neck while he goes slow... and then maybe a little bit fast... and then slow again... and hold on, I need a minute...
Ahhh, classic doggy style -- arguably one of women’s most favorite positions the world over. I doubt you need this explained, but here’s why it’s terrific: he’s going suuuuper deep, which is great for women who can orgasm from penetration alone. (Most women cannot, so don’t be sad if that’s not your lady. This is still going to feel good for her.) It directly hits the G-spot and adds a tasteful level of raunch.
Again, another take on classic missionary, lifting her ankles back behind her head changes up the angle and also allows him to go in deep. Just make sure your lady is flexible, because otherwise this isn’t very comfortable.
This is similar to having her legs lifted behind her head, but is slightly more comfortable for those of us who aren’t master yogis. She lies on her back and rests her legs on his shoulders while he kneels to do his thing. It narrows our lady bits, which feels great for him and also helps to make the G-spot a more direct target.
Again, no detailed description should be necessary (hopefully...). This is one of the most perfect positions for women because it gives us all of the control. We pretty much have control of the switchboard from this angle and can adjust the levels of pace, depth, and speed to our liking. Still, he can certainly have his say in this position by grabbing her hips and pulling a “power bottom,” which is often appreciated when we’re tired from doing a lot of the work.
OK, if you’re ALWAYS doing missionary then your sex is definitely boring. But ironically, this is the go-to position for a reason. It just works for everyone. She’s lying there under her man feeling all sexy and feminine, while he’s on top doing his dominant thing. It’s intimate and romantic, but can also be just the right amount of raunchy if she adds something to the roll and doesn’t relegate herself to the dreaded “starfish.” If she’s doing it right, she should move her hips, grab his, open and close her legs to change up the feeling for him, etc. Pulling her knees up to her sides is also a way for him to get a little deeper into her, as well.
Thrillist would like to thank models Leia Organa and John Rambo for lending this list some artistic integrity.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun. Meagan Drillinger is a freelancer for Thrillist and is not ashamed that she knows the name “Joanna Angel.” Follow her on Twitter , Instagram and Facebook at @drillinjourneys.
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Let’s talk about how to masturbate. It’s easy enough to get online and find articles that gleefully say things like, “Go forth and masturbate! You liberated goddess!” or, “Learn about your body by figuring out what you like!” Most likely, some of your favorite celebrities have talked about masturbation .
But, what about if you’re totally on board with that line of thinking, can’t wait to get cracking, but don’t know where to begin. Sex education in the U.S. (and across the globe, TBH) is kind of a disaster. Only 17 states mandate that students be taught sex ed that is medically accurate, which means scientifically based.
On top of this conundrum, schools aren't required to teach about pleasure. Everything is based in reproductive safety. You know, the old “here’s how not to get pregnant” spiel. While that is undeniably important information, there is more to sex than that.
No wonder you know nothing about masturbation. It’s not your fault, bb. You’re likely not going to learn about the clitoris in school, the part of your sexual organs that is solely designed for pleasure.
In fact, the scientific community didn’t even know about the full structure of the internal clitoris (yes, this is a thing) until the 1990s. How about that?
Luckily, we have got you covered. Here is your no-nonsense, 101 guide to masturbation for vagina owners. From how to masturbate with your fingers to using toys, we’ve got your back. It’s not like you automatically know how to touch a clitoris if you’ve never even been taught what it is or what it does.
There are all kinds of ways to masturbate, and no one is better than the other. Basically, it's whatever feels good for you. For people with vaginas, clitoral stimulation often feels really good, and might be the easiest way to achieve orgasm. Vaginal penetration can also feel good, if it's something you're interested in. If you do decide to try out penetration, you can locate your g-spot, another potential pleasure center to explore. While you're down there, you can feel free to try anal masturbation, by either rubbing your anus, or inserting fingers or a toy with a flared base (if you decide to try anal stimulation, always remember to use lube! We have a full guide on how to safely try butt stuff, so check that out first). Also, it's important to remember that masturbation doesn't have to strictly involve your genitals. Touching your nipples, caressing your thighs, or rubbing any other area that feels good can also bring you pleasure. You also don't have to stick to one kind of masturbation at a time — feel free to move from area to area as long as it feels good (but PSA: you shouldn't touch your vagina or use toys on your vagina that have touched your anus without washing them first as that can lead to infections ).
You can try any of these types of masturbation using your hands, or you can introduce a toy if that feels exciting to you.
Take a hot second to look up a diagram of the vagina . The first thing you need to know is where your pleasure zones are located before venturing forth to explore them. The clitoris is a rosebud like bump at the apex of the labia. It sits right inside the labia minora, at the very top. This is your vaginal pleasure center: Packed with 8,000 nerve endings , stimulating the clitoris is the best way to reach orgasm for many people.
You will know when you’ve had an orgasm. There isn’t much doubt about it.
Ok, so you've got the clitoris down. If you’re feeling a bit on the adventurous side, you can try locating your g-spot, too. Every vagina is different. Some people enjoy purely clitoral stimulation, some enjoy a combination of clitoral and g-spot stimulation.
Don’t get intimidated. It may sound like a lot to remember, but it’s really not. Don’t jump right into double stimulation. Locate your g-spot first. Do this by inserting one or two fingers into the vagina. Make a hook with your fingers and feel right behind your pubic bone.
You should feel a small, walnut-textured patch. The g-spot is actually the root of the clitoris , the internal portion. All orgasms are actually clitoral . Isn’t anatomy fun?
How to masturbate with your fingers
Now that you've figured out your anatomy and what kind of touch feels good, next you need to learn how to masturbate with your hands. Start with the clitoris: Use one to two fingers to feel for it. It should feel just like a bump. Start experimenting with different pressures while you rub it in rhythmic circles. You may find that you enjoy more pressure, or less pressure. Every vagina is different.
Don’t get freaked out if it feels weird at first. Your first few experiences with masturbation might be a little bit uncomfortable and emotionally charged. It’s a new experience. Once something feels good, stick with it. Consistency is key.
While trying a bunch of new things right away can be tempting, during the first few tries, you want to focus on learning what brings you to orgasm.
If you're interested in trying to stimulate your g-spot, insert your fingers into your vagina just as you did when you were finding it. Take some time to press and rub the g-spot. See if that works for you. If it does, awesome. If not, stick with clitoral stimulation. Penetration of any kind can be quite intense for beginners. You are not weird if you prefer one kind of pleasure over another. It is your body and you have total agency. No one is allowed to tell you what you should or should not like.
Manual stimulation (meaning your fingers) will likely bring you to orgasm, but if you can get a small finger vibrator, you should. There are plenty of discreet, adorable, not-at-all-scary options to choose from.
If you need ideas, Dame makes a tiny vibe called Fin that is basically an extension of your fingers and perfect if you’ve never used a vibrator before. Or, you can go for one of these vibes that can give you an orgasm in record time, plus they look like beauty products. You can order these online and have them in just a few days.
You can use these finger vibes to stimulate your clitoris, or even to use on your labia as you stimulate yourself manually. If you're interested in penetration, you can look into a g-spot vibrator, or any variety of toys made for inserting into the vagina.
There is nothing shameful about having a pleasure product. Hey, I had my first vibe when I was 14. It’s a great way to have an orgasm and avoid both pregnancy and STDs.
Now that you have the basics down, you can try switching things up. Rather than just lying on your back, you can try sitting, standing, propping your hips up with a pillow, kneeling on all fours, or any other position in which you find pleasure. You can also try masturbating in different settings, like on your bed, in a chair, or in the shower.
While the vagina provides natural lubrication, adding some extra lube can introduce a more pleasurable experience. Try a drop or two of a water-based, unscented lube for a new sensation (like this Sex Gel from Nécessaire ). (You should avoid any scented or "warming" lubes, as they can be irritating!)
You will know when you’ve had an orgasm. There isn’t much doubt about it. In my personal experience, I’ve found that it’s a slow build-up and then a wonderful, delightful release.
Sexual desire happens in four stages : desire (libido), arousal (excitement), orgasm and resolution. Desire is when you first begin to feel, well, the desire for sex. Your heart rate will quicken, your nipples may become hard, and blood will start to flow to your genitals. Next comes arousal, in which your responses that started in phase 1 intensify. The orgasm is the climax of your sexual response, and occurs when involuntary muscle contractions begin, heart and breathing rates are at their highest, and a flush might overcome your skin — known as the post-sex glow. The resolution is the time after sex, when your body gets back to its normal, unaroused state.
You are not weird if you prefer one kind of pleasure over another. It is your body and you have total agency.
Finally, remember that masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. I know you may feel nervous about it and confused by the feelings you’re having. You’re growing up and becoming an adult.
All of these new emotions and desires are completely normal.
Take some time to play around. Enjoy yourself and explore what makes you feel good. You’ve got this, babe. Masturbation is a stress reliever and has many other health benefits . It just takes getting to know your body with a little practice.
Gigi Engle is a writer and sex educator in NYC. She is a certified member of the World Association of Sex Coaches, and serves as a Pleasure Professional with the O.School , where she teaches classes on things like pleasure, sexual health, and confidence.
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