How To Fuck A Woman
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How To Fuck A Woman
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by Zachary Zane and Jordyn Taylor Published: Sep 10, 2021
Jordyn Taylor is the Deputy Editor of Content at Men's Health. She's covered health, wellness, fitness, and lifestyle since 2013, and has previously worked as a reporter and editor at Mic and the New York Observer.
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"Taking control. In bed, I want the opposite of what I want in real life."
We use the phrase "turning someone on" to talk about helping them get in the mood for sex, but the reality is, making a woman horny isn't as simple as pressing a button.
Given that everyone has their own sexual kinks, it should come as no surprise that every woman gets horny from different things—just like we all do. Some may appreciate physical touch, like a massage , while others may be down for a little dirty talk . Plus, people have different patterns of sexual desire : some may experience spontaneous desire —i.e., they're suddenly in the mood to get it on out of nowhere—whereas others may experience responsive desire —i.e., it takes a little action to get them in the mood.
If your partner falls in the latter category, Jor-El Caraballo, a licensed mental health counselor in Brooklyn, New York, recommends giving them the “romantic equivalent of an amuse-bouche"—say, a lingering kiss, or a foot rub, or anything you think they'd like. “You’re helping them awaken that energy, and they might be ready to go after that,” Caraballo says in Men's Health Best. Sex. Ever .
If you're not sure what makes your partner horny, it's always a good move to ask your partner what turns her on. (Some women may simply get turned on being asked what turns them on—meta!) It shows that you care about her pleasure and want her to have the best sexual experience possible, not to mention it maximizes your likelihood of success.
But some women might not be sure exactly what gets them horny. Or, the surprise—the spontaneity—is what really gets her hot and bothered. Since every woman has something different that gets her in the mood, we asked 14 to share some of the hottest ways their partners have turned them on.
"My partner is bilingual, and I speak his first language imperfectly. I understand most of what he says, but my responses are limited. During sex he will often talk dirty to me in his first language. It's incredibly hot, especially when he whispers in my ear in a low voice." —Anonymous
"[He] pressed me against a wall in a club, kissed me hard, and told me what he was going to do to me later. He’s usually quite shy about PDAs or dirty talk, so this was a fun surprise." —Anonymous
"I sent him a sexy pic and instead of responding over text or snap, he sent me a voice memo of his reaction (plus detailing all the things he wanted to do to me later)." —Anonymous
"By taking control. In bed, I want the opposite of what I want in real life." —Alex
"Just watching TV, and he starts massaging my feet without asking." —Leah
"Ultra thoughtful gestures, or whispering nasty, dirty shit in my ear in public." —Mina
"Running his hand along the small of my back and pulling me in for a deep hug." —G.L.
"My partner played with my boobs during my period. It gave me a boob-gasm and helped my cramps! I didn't know that was possible before." —Anonymous
"Doing shit around the house (wish I was kidding)." —Amanda
“Once me and this guy were hanging out, and he was like, ‘Have you ever played with ice?’ And I was like, ‘Not really.’ He was like, ‘Oh, it can be really sensual,’ so I said let’s try it now. He told me to go to his room and had me lay down. He slowly rubbed an ice cube all over me, in non-sexual places first, then my neck and boobs. Then he would kiss the areas too. But the way he slowly used the ice was delicious torture! The slowness of it led to such a huge buildup.” —Ashley
“The guy I'm currently seeing woke me up one morning by slowly running his hands all over my body and murmuring, ‘Come play with me,’ in my ear. (A+++ would wake up again.)” —Becca
“A guy I’m sexting has started recording voice notes to take the sexting up a notch. He created stories about us having sex and sends them to me in chapters. He writes it all himself, and they are very detailed with aspects of things he knows that I like and what will turn me on. He always finishes a chapter on something that he knows will leave me really horny. The latest story focused on being tied up and blindfolded. The sound of his voice and the content of the messages are sending me wild. I don’t think I have ever been so turned on in my life, and I keep listening back to them!” —Elizabeth
“I can smell insecurity in a man from a mile away, and as a polyamorous woman , there’s no time for that with me. The most attractive thing a man can do for me is to have a quiet kind of confidence, where they don’t feel the need to prove themselves or overcompensate. This ends up extending to the bedroom. For whatever reason, men can be very skittish with me, even after I’ve given consent. At that point, just go for it! I really love it when I can tell someone has been waiting for my yes, and then that tension is unleashed. Past that, little cocky things during sex is fun. One time, I made eye contact with a partner while both his hands were inside of me. He blew a kiss and the audacity of it got to me, but in all the best ways. Teasing, letting me think I’m in charge and then reigning me in… those are some of the keys to my heart.” —Gabrielle
“Ooh, I love when partners ‘yes, and’ my fantasies. It validates the fantasy as sexy and lets me inhabit a space in my imagination where I get to keep growing as a sexual being. And I get to see them take delight in me as a sexual being. If I say, for example, it would be so hot if you kiss me really softly...and they say, ‘Ooh, yes...and then what?’” —Natalie
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS , at Civilized .
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Go slow. Seduction is all about timing. Part of what makes a person want another person is the anticipation. When you meet a woman you're interested in , proceed slowly. Wait a bit to approach her and start off by listening more than you talk. Do not reveal your intention right away as this might be off-putting. Move slowly, at least at first. [1]
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Dress up . If you want a woman to notice you, you'll have to dress your best. Work on dressing up if you expect to see someone you're attracted to at a bar, party, or other event.
Choose nice, flattering clothing. If you're worried your current wardrobe is too drab, go to a department store. You can ask a sales consultant to help you choose an outfit that's flattering for your body.
Remember, it's sexy to be yourself . Strive to look your best on your own terms. That is, do not shave if you enjoy having a beard or dress in a suit where you're more of a button down guy. You won't feel comfortable if you're not behaving like yourself. This is something your date can easily sense and confidence is key to seduction. [2]
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Take a shower before you go out and consider using a bit of cologne. Too much could be overpowering, but a dab of a classy scent can help.
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Listen to her. When you approach a woman, try to listen. [3]
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Expert Source
Courtney Quinlan Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.
People tend to be attracted to those who seem interested in them. Rather than boasting about your own accomplishment and telling all your own stories, try listening instead.
Try to ask more questions than you answer. Simple ice breaking questions are nice. Try things like "What do you do for living?" and "Where did you grow up?" [4]
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Always convey that you're listening. Smile , nod, and occasionally offer commentary like "Uh-huh" or "Yeah." Ask follow up questions as well. Ask for clarification or further details on stories and personal information.
Sexual attraction is tied to personality. Getting to know a person well can actually enhance your sexual feelings for that person. If you do end up successfully seducing a woman, you might enjoy the sexual encounter more if you know the person well. [5]
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Be confident . Confidence is something most people are attracted to. Being comfortable with yourself will draw other people to you. Try to proceed with confidence while you interact with the women you' desire.
Remember, there's a fine line between confidence and egomania. Dominating the conversation to brag is off-putting. However, it's fine to take pride in what you do for a living, where you're from, and other details about yourself she might ask for. [6]
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Make her laugh . Many people are attracted to people with a healthy sense of humor. Try to crack an appropriate joke during your encounter to see if you can impress her with your comedic side. [7]
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Use body language to flirt. Direct and confident body language can signal your interest. Try using cues to show a woman you're attracted to her and interested in getting physical.
Stand up straight. Keep your head up and with your shoulders pulled back. Do not fold your arms or hold a drink across your chest. Signal in every way you're feeling confident. [8]
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Find ways to break the touch barrier flirtatiously and create some sexual tension . Take a woman's hand to lead her around a bar or wherever you meet her. Guide her by placing your hand on the small of her back. Try and slowly get a woman more comfortable with your touch. [9]
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Try an appropriate pick-up line. Pick-up lines have a bad rap. However, if you choose a pick-up line that's not overused or sleazy, it can actually highlight your charm and get a woman interested.
Research on pick-up lines shows that this is a situation where highlighting your good qualities--that is, bragging a little--can help. Women respond less favorably to pick-up lines that are empty compliments or sexual in nature. They tend to be more interested in pick-up lines that allow them to learn something about a stranger that helps them stand out amongst other potential matches. [10]
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For example, if you're a nurse, you could try something like, "Wow, this party is pretty lifeless, huh? As a nurse I think I'm pronouncing this DOA." Or, if you're a firefighter, you could try something like, "Is it just me or is it hot in here? As a firefighter I think you might be the source of the fire here."
If you want to choose a pick-up line, think of something clever that highlights an aspect of your own personality or life. Work in your occupation, if it's interesting, or some of your hobbies or positive qualities. Do not leave it at a pick-up line, however. Research indicates pick-up lines work best when they're followed by conversation. [11]
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Use smell to your advantage. When you invite a woman over, a pleasant aroma is key to successful seduction. Try opening the windows for a few hours before she comes, letting any bad smells out. Light some incense . Choose a smell that's pleasant without being overpowering, like a light vanilla scent or something like sandalwood. Try to do a little research into what she likes beforehand. Try to work questions about smell into a conversation. Ask her about types of perfumes she likes or body washes to get a sense of the kind of smells she prefers. [12]
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Try music. A little music can help get her in the mood . Remember, keep the focus on her and not you. Choose a type of music she'd like but also songs that are slow, soothing, and sensual.
Ask her about her musical tastes beforehand. Try putting on a band she likes, but choose songs that are slower. Quicker pop tunes are more likely to put someone in a dancing mood than a sexual mood. [13]
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Classic choices, like Barry White, run the risk of coming off as cheesy. Stick to somewhat non-traditional choices so your date won't end up rolling her eyes. [14]
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Decorate. Ambiance is important when it comes to seduction. Try to set the mood with a little decoration.
Candles and mood lighting can go a long way. If you're sleeping with someone for the first time, she might be a little insecure. Dimming the lights and using candles can help her feel more comfortable getting undressed. Candles are also viewed as romantic and exciting by many. [15]
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Try to clean up a bit before she comes over. A nice, clean house can make you come off as put together and responsible, which can be a turn on for many.
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