How To Fuck A Melon
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How To Fuck A Melon
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Melon Fucking is fun and easy! I would love to hear you cum hard into that soft warm, fleshy fruit. Every year around this time, I get guys to go out and my a nice ripe cantaloupe or Honeydew melon. If you haven’t already tried this, the insides of a melon can feel very much like a tight wet vagina.
It is an easy process: Buy a ripe melon. Make a small hole into the tip f the melon- smaller than your big dick. Scoop out some of the insides- but not too much. Then you can heat up the melon in the microwave. Be careful- not too hot!
Pour a little baby oil into the melon before inserting your big hard cock, This will create an amazing suction while you are fucking your new special vagina.
Take out your nice big thick dick and lube it up good.
Before fucking it- call me! I can be the sexy hot voice of your sweet natural pussy. I will help you get that dick rock hard and then instruct you how and when to insert it into that tight pussy.
Get a good grip on the melon. Squeeze it in slowly, looking at pictures I have sent you of my sweet tight pussy. Listen to my voice as I beg you to fuck me.
Pound that pussy hard and then cum inside it!
After an amazing jerk off session, you can decide to do with your own edible pussy. mmmm after our hot sweaty workout you might want to eat out that melon! Would you eat that cream-filled melon if I told you to? I think you would.
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I haven't, but I heard it feels good. I did fuck my big puffy gay slippers in high school.
Curious to hear the odd ways you guys (and gals) have gotten off.
Countdown to the "Meloni" comments, with 4, 3, 2 . . .
There a blind item several years ago about some 20 something actor that liked to fuck melons and it wasn't Meloni. Anyone remember who that was?
I tried. Fruit juice is sticky. Not as fun as it seems. I heard from a friend that it's best to microwave the melon first, so it's warm at least. But it's all so messy.
I used to fuck my waterbed. Where the mattress meets the frame. And since waterbeds are heated, it was good times...little bit of lube, and away we go. Yes, this was the 80's.
Watermelons are the best! Leave them outside for a couple of days and let them get warm and ripe. I used to fuck watermelons a lot when I was 13 and 14 as my Dad was in the produce business and we got a lot of watermelons in the summertime.
R4, it was you with your penis that raped the watermelons under our sacred bliss tree!
"R6" and YES...for all of you who see Pedophiles behind every tree...the melons were UNDERAGED AND NOT FULLY RIPE!!!
Never fucked a melon. Bit I have gotten fucked up on a melon soaked in vodka on more than one occasions. Does that count?
I used to stick greased rolled up newspapers up me when I was a schoolboy. Only the supplement!
R11, how long ago did your anus fall off from the inevitable anal cancer you contracted from all that newspaper ink in your pooper?
I tried it once. A ripe canteloupe. The juice stung a little and got awfully sticky. That was that!
What is a smidge of printers ink compared to the subsequent gallons of kindness from strangers?
Human sausage casings are enough for me.
Oh yeah, I once put a kilbasa up my ass, but the spices made my ass burn afterwards. Gotta put some of your mom's saran wrap on that thing before you sit on it.
There's a scene in "A Sailor in the Wild" where three guys fuck a watermelon.
Sorry, it was "The Young & the Hung."
Bel Ami boy, Trevor Yates, also had a recent scene where he fed his partner his big hose while sliding it through a hole in a watermelon.
We're heading into watermelon planting season.
I dated one once for awhile, but things never went that far. Too needy.
I engaged in carnal congress with a piece of liver my family ate for dinner later that evening.
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