How To Fuck A Friend
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How To Fuck A Friend
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How to Have Casual Sex With Friends (And Not Regret It)
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Casual sex with friends can work. The trick is simple, really: Just don’t get emotionally involved.
“I’ve interviewed many adults through the years who had friends-with-benefits arrangements that worked well for them when they were single and looking for fun and connection,” says Andrea Syrtash, Relationship Expert and Co-Author of It’s Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date . “The issue obviously pops up when someone in the friendship secretly (or not so secretly) wants more.”
Ultimately, casual sex isn’t all that casual, and there are a lot of factors we should consider before hitting the sheets with a friend. Here are some top tips from sex experts.
Sure, sex can ‘just happen’ but make sure you are on the same page.
“[Sometimes] sex just happens. If it keeps happening, and one person may develop feelings, that’s when things can get awkward. Be clear and communicate the difference between friends with benefits, and what behaviors cross over to dating territory,” says Marissa Nelson, LMFT, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist / Sex Therapist, Founder and CEO of IntimacyMoon Couples Retreats .
Set rules. Set and agree to ground rules. “As an example, I suggest that both parties agree that neither will ask about nor tell the other about additional friends,” says relationship couch Jess Brighton.
Take responsibility for yourself. “Before you sign up for a friends with benefits arrangement, be honest with yourself about your true intentions and boundaries,” says Dr. Jess, Astroglide’s resident sexologist. Ask yourself some serious questions: 1. How would you feel if you saw your FWB buddy out with another partner? If you can’t handle the fact that you’re not exclusive, say so from the beginning. 2. How will you approach the dissolution of your FWB arrangement? Eventually, one or both of you will want to move on; how will you feel about this when the time arises?
Never lie. Even if it’s to accommodate your partner’s feelings. “If something makes you uncomfortable, speak up. If you change your mind about the arrangement, say so sooner rather than later,” says Dr. Jess.
Re-evaluate when necessary. There is nothing wrong with making and updating rules (e.g., no multiday sleepovers; no hard feelings if you cancel at last minute), but each situation is unique, so you need to discuss them on an ongoing basis.
When someone gets emotionally involved … If anyone gets emotionally involved, the rules have changed and need to be evaluated again. As soon as emotions enter the equation, all bets are off. “My advice to anyone wrapped up in this practice is, if you are having sex with a friend and all you want is sex and friendship, if you ever decide you want more, sex needs to stop. Otherwise, you will lose your friend, if not permanently, definitely, temporarily,” says Dr. Elaine Stevens, CRS, Board Certified Relationship Specialist.
There also has to be transparency and accountability to the friendship. “This is not someone on Tinder who if your not feeling them anymore you can just swipe left or ghost them. People can get themselves in trouble by not remembering that they are friends first, so there is a certain respect and consideration that goes with it,” says Nelson. Remember, this is supposed to feel good, be fun and pleasurable. “Fantasize together, role play, use toys and all the sticky, fun stuff — and know that you’re safe to indulge your sexual desires because you’re doing it with a friend you trust,” says Nelson.
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Seriously, who hasn’t met a friend who’s sexy and all that? And most of us have thought of making them our fuck buddies, right?
It feels so good to be bad. It feels even better to cross that boundary and play dirty, doesn’t it?
Life in the fast lane couldn’t get any faster in these days of fast love and raging hormones.
It’s hard to get over the blues of being single especially when everyone around is either madly in love, or physically in love.
If lovers can do it, why not friends? After all, friends do share everything lovers share, other than physical intimacy, right?
A fuck buddy is someone you know as a friend and is physically attractive and physically attracted to you. It doesn’t end there though, a fuck buddy is one who shares uninhibited physical intimacy with you, with no strings attached!
If this is news to you, take those goody-goody glasses off your face and take a good look at the pair gyrating in the club, and try keeping a count on the number of partners that are being swapped in a night, at least on the dance floor! [Read: Signs you’re both ready to be more than friends ]
Fuck buddies have always existed over the years but until a few years ago, it was an immoral and hushed affair. Friends have always had sex with friends, but it’s not really something people readily talk about in the open.
But recently, with the boom in 24/7 calls from work and work shifts at hours that run late into the night, the prospect of friends just hoping to have sex with a friend or friends just rubbing the shoulders is passé!
These days, it’s not taboo or unusual to have sex with a friend, after work or at a party. If one-night stands can be morally legal amongst us, why not having sex with a friend? Anyways, they’re here to stay, whether you like it or not. [Read: How to accidentally kiss a friend ]
There are a ton of people who think you should only be having sex with people you’re really connected to in an emotional way. So why is it that some people decide to forgo the whole “falling in love first” thing and just get down with a friend?
Well, because they can’t find someone they feel for emotionally, but they still want to have sex because, well, it feels good! Or maybe it’s because they want to have sex but only with someone they really trust – which would be a good friend.
Now, just because you trust them and care about them more than you would a stranger, that doesn’t mean it’s always a good idea to be sleeping with them. Why? Because having sex complicates everything. [Read: How to have sex with a friend: The step-by-step guide ]
If you’re debating whether or not to have sex with friends, you may want to consider the pros and cons first. Skipping a relationship and getting hot and heavy in the sheets may not be the thing you really need in your life.
In order to find a fuck buddy, you first have to know the signs that a friend might want to have sex with you. After all, you don’t want to look foolish if you just assume they do but you were wrong! [Read: 16 hush-hush signs your friend wants to have sex with you ]
Body language will tell you everything you need to know. If your friend touches you in a flirty or potentially sensual way, gazes into your eyes, puts their arm around you, or sits a little too close to you, it’s because they want to.
They are trying to send you a signal that they think you’re attractive. [Read: Body language and attraction – how it works, 10 signs, and how to recognize it ]
If you’ve been friends for a while and suddenly the discussion of sex comes up a lot, then there’s a reason. They are probably testing the waters with you to see how you respond and to see if it turns personal. Even if you have talked about sex with your friend, it might turn a little more explicit.
Many times when someone is too uncomfortable to be direct about their feelings, they will make jokes about it instead. For example, they might say “I know you want me bad, don’t you?” or “I’m badass in bed. Too bad you’ll never know first-hand!” or “People probably think we’re sleeping together!” They are throwing hints out hoping you pick up on them.
If you notice that your friend is complimenting you a lot, then that is also a sign they want to sleep with you. They might call you hot, say how your clothes compliment your body, or how pretty/handsome you are.
Even if they compliment your personality or something else about you, it’s a good sign. [Read: 20 Funny compliments you can use to flatter and make them laugh ]
Everyone knows that flirting is a precursor to getting sexual. True, sometimes people just flirt for the fun of it with no intentions of becoming romantic. But if the flirting tends to feel like it’s crossing the lines of friendship, it’s probably because it’s being done deliberately.
Maybe when you are texting each other late at night, your friend tells you that they are horny and frustrated that they don’t have a significant other.
You might reciprocate and say how much you miss having sex. If you get into a lot of sexual talk over text, then they are definitely thinking of sleeping with you.
When you are sexually attracted to someone, you want to look your best so that they look at you are a potential sexual partner too. After all, you want them to see you in a different light.
So, if they are putting more effort into their appearance – and mostly just around you – then they are doing it on purpose. [Read: How to dress sexy – 29 subtle and classy ways to make them lust for you ]
This is a big sign that a friend wants to have sex with you. Cologne and perfumes have pheromones in them, which is an aphrodisiac. Even if they don’t know that, they want you to think they smell good and want to get closer to them.
If you find that your friend is calling your exes idiots for letting you go, then that means that their mind is on you – and not just for friendship. They are trying to send you the message that you are hot and that anyone would want to be with you.
In a normal friendship, the two people can talk about their crushes or the dates they have gone on. But if your friend isn’t interested in hearing about the other people you might like, then it’s because they are jealous and want to keep you for themselves. [Read: Does she like me? 32 subtle signs she sees you as mor than a friend ]
When you’re ambitious and cannot understand the point of thinking about someone else’s feelings and happiness, or if you just don’t want to be held down by another person’s feelings, a fuck buddy is a perfect solution.
You don’t have to keep in touch with this person every day or every week, nor do you have to remember anniversaries or put up with cute little love tantrums.
But you can always call your fuck buddy and go all the way, whenever and wherever you want. This form of non-committal love can be fun if you’re still looking for that hint of long-term love, but just don’t want to jump in, especially if you’ve always felt that true love can wait while you explore the different opportunities life has to offer. [Read: 20 sexy things about a girl that turns guys on ]
And most people, who are afraid of commitment, and even more scared of the typical one-night stand, find this whole arrangemen
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