How To Finger My Ass

How To Finger My Ass
By Zachary Zane Published: Oct 26, 2020
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine. His work has been featured in Rolling Stone, Washington Post, Playboy, and more.
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It's time to take your pleasure up a notch.
In 2020, anal play is on the menu. By now, we know that liking butt stuff has nothing to do with gender or sexual orientation, and everything to do with achieving earth-shattering pleasure. This is thanks in large part to the prostate , a walnut-sized gland located two to three inches inside the anus that is jam-packed with nerve endings, making internal stimulation feel heavenly. When you ejaculate with something in your rear end, you typically end up having a much stronger, full-body orgasm that puts regular penile orgasms to shame.
Even though they don't have a prostate, women can also immensely enjoy anal stimulation because the rectum and anus are chock-full of nerve endings. Additionally, it’s possible to stimulate the internal clitoris through the back door. The so-called G-spot (located on the front wall of the vagina) and the A-spot (also on the front wall, but closer to the cervix) are both reachable through anal penetration .
One of the best ways to get the booty involved during sex is to engage in anal fingering, which is exactly what it sounds like: inserting one or multiple fingers inside the anus to enhance sexual pleasure. While sex toys such as prostate massagers , butt plugs , and dildos can all stimulate the inside of one's behind, anal fingering can more directly hit the prostate or the internal clitoris through the rectum. (Think about it: You can wiggle your fingers, but you can’t wiggle a butt plug.)
But there's an art to anal fingering. You can’t just go ahead and ram your digits inside your or your partner's behind. Do that, and you're going to cause—or experience—a world of pain. To learn how to anal finger correctly so that it’s both safe and pleasurable, we reached out to sex and pleasure educator Luna Matatas and Dr. Evan Golstein , founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical and The Future Method . Here are their expert tips on positions and techniques that will help you finger like a pro.
If you’re the top (i.e., the person doing the fingering), you need to cut your nails hella short and file them. If your nails are long or jagged, you can accidentally scratch or tear the inner walls of the rectum. “This will not only be painful, but it can also lead to issues like hemorrhoids or infections,” Goldstein says.
If you’re the bottom (i.e., the person getting fingered), you want to make sure your anus is clean. How thoroughly you clean will depend on how much you plan to take. If you’re new to anal play, and your partner is just going to put in a pinky, you don’t need to wash your insides for 50 minutes. Just make sure you haven’t had a bowel movement in the past hour, and then go ahead and shower to wash your external anus with antibacterial soap.
If you plan on taking multiple fingers, or are using anal fingering as foreplay for anal sex involving a dildo or penis, then you should consider cleaning your rectum with an enema, douche, or shower hose . Remember that feces isn’t stored in the rectum. It’s stored in the intestines and then is pushed through the rectum when you defecate. So it’s not as “messy” as you likely think it is.
There are two traditional positions ideal for anal fingering. The first is when you’re on our stomach in a starfish or doggie-like position. The second is when you’re on your back with your legs up in the air.
“I recommend positions [like these] that give you or your partner a clear view of the hole,” Goldstein says. “If you can see it—and I mean all of it—then you have a better chance of understanding the angles and anatomy to make the experience most pleasurable.” It’s also easier for the top to finger from these positions without uncomfortably bending their wrist.
Lube is not optional when it comes to anal fingering. It’s mandatory, and no, spit does not cut it. You specifically want “long-lasting lubes like silicone-based or oil-based lubes,” Matatas says. Water-based lubes tend to dry out too quickly with anal play because the anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina is. You want to put lube both on your finger(s) and directly on and around the anus, Goldstein adds. Reapply lube generously and frequently as needed.
“The most common issue that can happen with anal fingering is tearing, otherwise known as anal fissures,” Goldstein says. This can happen when you thrust or insert too much too quickly. That’s why, before even starting with a finger, you should massage the external anus “as if you’re petting the butthole,” Matatas says. This helps the anal muscles relax.
After you’ve teased their hole with external play, you can insert a finger before eventually working your way up to two or more (if you ever reach that point). “Always be aware of your limitations,” Goldstein says. “No one is counting how many fingers you can take up your bum.”
Whatever you do, don’t start by quickly thrusting in and out. Instead, begin by inserting a third of your finger, then half, and then all of it. Once your finger is fully inside, let it rest there for a little without any movement. Let the anus get used to the sensation of having something inside of it.
“The anus doesn't only get pleasure from depth, so try moving your finger so you're massaging the sides of the anus in a horizontal motion,” Matatas says. And remember, the prostate is two to three inches inside your anus. That’s the money maker and what feels really good when stimulated. So you want to focus on that part of the region when fingering or getting fingered.
“Fingerplay should be more about gentle massaging, which will create better nerve stimulation in that region,” Goldstein adds. “The skin in this region is quite thin, so any jerky or sudden moves can cause significant tearing and trauma.” So really, you want massage as oppose to thrust .
Both Goldstein and Matatas make clear that there should be an open line of communication for the entire experience. If you’re the top, ask your partner if what you’re doing feels good. If you’re the bottom, don’t be afraid to tell your partner to reapply more lube or go slower. With anal fingering, as with any new sexual experience, communication is crucial.
You want to wash your hands when you’re done with anal fingering. You can wait until you’re done with your sexual session except if you want to transition from anal fingering to vaginal fingering. You don’t want to transfer bacteria from the anus to the vagina, Matatas says. So in that situation, you want to wash your hands before touching your partner’s vagina.
It's an intense experience to have something inside of you, especially if you never have before. If you were the top, check-in with your partner after the sexual experience to see how they’re feeling and if there’s anything you can do to support them.
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"There are tons of nerve endings there and even the smallest amount of pressure can be pure heaven!"
Anal fingering isn't just for men and people with penises - though it is true they might get the added bonus of a prostate massage . While women and people with vaginas don't happen to have a prostate gland (aka a P spot), anal fingering or ass fingering still feels amazing for lots of people thanks to all of the sensitive nerves in the area. You can also use anal fingering to stimulate your supposed G-spot from the inside, too. And did we mention that it’s a good for a spot of warming up or foreplay if you are wanting to prepare for anal sex ? If you haven’t yet given it a try, you may be wondering what anal fingering feels like for women and people with vulvas. Well, we're ready to give you some answers!
Keep reading for people’s unfiltered opinions on what it feels like to be fingered in the ass during sex. But before you start cracking on at home, make sure you use lots of water-based lube because the anus doesn't self-lubricate like most vulvas do.
1. "I am now at the point where it's almost disappointing if [my partner] doesn't do something with my ass. I also enjoy when he circles it and then taps it with his finger. Luckily we are very open and he reads me very well so I don't have to ask for it, but I am definitely not shy about vocalising what I need." [via]
2. "I kinda like when he thrusts it in and out, but if he does two fingers that can be a bit much unless we're moving on to anal." [via]
3. "Love it when he's eating me out... these days I don't even ask." [via]
4. "When I’m getting screwed doggy style I love it!" [via]
5. "When it's good timing it heightens the pleasure immensely. It tightens everything, I'll feel every ridge and vein on his dick basically. It just makes the whole experience much more intense." [via]
6. "I like it best when I’m on top and I definitely prefer to have my partner do it rather than myself." [via]
7. "I prefer a butt plug or other anal toy, it feels much smoother." [via]
8. "I like very slight strokes when in my ass. I think he makes a circling motion inside. Definitely not the same fingering as my vagina... that's a bit too advanced for me as yet." [via]
9. "There are tons of nerve endings there and even the smallest amount of pressure can be pure heaven!" [via]
10. "If he’s fucking me and I’m getting really into it, he’ll slowly circle my ass and stick a wet finger in. I see stars every time. With the right build up it can be amazing." [via]
11."It's a huge 'yes' for me. My husband is an expert at fingering me, yet doesn't play with my ass all that often. I think it's mostly the position we find ourselves in, so when he can't, I'll often push my own finger in a bit. I'm also not shy about asking for what I want, so I think I'll request more of this from him. While it feels great when I do it, it's always amazing when it's his finger instead." [via]
12."I started doing ass play on myself until I thought I could let him touch it. Then I had him insert one of my butt plugs in my ass. I did the same to him. I can trust him... and it makes all the difference in the world. I ask for it. I have to mentally be in the right place. Sometimes I'm up for it in doggy." [via]
13."Just leaving the [finger] in and applying pressure is much preferred to any movement in my opinion." [via]
14."I haven't done enough receiving in anal play (aside from rim jobs ) to really understand very much how it affects sensations for me, but was going at it recently and the partner asked if I minded before pushing in. I instantly said I didn't mind because the idea was just freaking hot. Then he said, 'I can feel myself fucking you through your ass, it's amazing' and it went from a 'yes' from me to a 'HELL YES'." [via]
15."I prefer it when he’s behind me (spoon, doggy etc), and I like nudge fucking or gentle wiggling of the fingers inside, not in-and-out motions. I also love it when he takes my hand and forces me to do it to myself so that I can massage his cock from the inside and he gets a great visual. TBH, though, I prefer pressure on the outside. Finger rimming or a fist/few fingers (something that doesn’t penetrate too easily) putting pressure on and releasing it repeatedly." [via]
16. "You get your finger(s) or dick all the way in, and instead of going in and out you just push. But going all the way in and out like you would normally is pretty sensitive. Once you get it all the way in, just grind hard. I came so hard from anal once, and I've had it many times... the only time I came was the way I described." [via]
17. "Also a tongue or dildo feels amazing too." [via]
18. "I love it. But I find it's easiest to have a conversation beforehand as to whether they like it or not, that way just "slipping it in" doesn't result in a surprise [that you haven't consented to]." [via]
19. "I definitely love it. Any anal play is fun and when you're double penetrated, both holes are tighter and you can feel more! My only pre-requisite is to make sure you start out gentle, and that your girl is wet enough or use lube." [via]
20. "I've been trying to warm up to this one lately. I want to want to like it because he thoroughly enjoys it, but it's very new territory for me and very strange." [via]

How should I finger a girl's ass to give her maximum pleasure?
Do a lot of women enjoy it when men finger their anus during intercourse?
My girlfriend gets turned on by fingering in my ass? Is this normal?
Do you like vaginal fingering while having anal intercourse?
Do women enjoy their buttholes to be fingered while a man licks their pussy?
What's the best way to finger my wife's anus?
Do a lot of women enjoy it when men finger their anus during intercourse?
My girlfriend gets turned on by fingering in my ass? Is this normal?
Do you like vaginal fingering while having anal intercourse?
Do women enjoy their buttholes to be fingered while a man licks their pussy?
What's the best way to finger my wife's anus?
Do teenage girls enjoy getting their assholes licked on their first time?
What does it feel like to put a finger inside a girls butthole?
Are girls embarrassed that, during sex, many times the guy can see her anus openly exposed, but she usually never sees his?
If I finger girls ass like pussy will the girls shit/poop or fart?
My guy wants to be fingered in the ass each time we have sex. Is he gay?
I’m a man. How can I get my girlfriend to lick my anal hole or tell her to play with it or put a finger in me?
What makes a man finger his woman in the anal hole during sex?
How can I get a woman to finger fuck my ass while she's sucking my dick?
Does it mean that my boyfriend is gay if he likes his ass licked?
How do you finger your ass as a male?
Do a lot of women enjoy it when men finger their anus during intercourse?
My girlfriend gets turned on by fingering in my ass? Is this normal?
Do you like vaginal fingering while having anal intercourse?
Do women enjoy their buttholes to be fingered while a man licks their pussy?
What's the best way to finger my wife's anus?
Do teenage girls enjoy getting their assholes licked on their first time?
What does it feel like to put a finger inside a girls butthole?
Are girls embarrassed that, during sex, many times the guy can see her anus openly exposed, but she usually never sees his?
If I finger girls ass like pussy will the girls shit/poop or fart?
My guy wants to be fingered in the ass each time we have sex. Is he gay?
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It is a great pleasure fingering each other’s anus. My wife wasn’t interested in the initial years of our marriage. But after 4 or 5 years, she suddenly started fingering my anus, during foreplay. I enjoyed it & she enjoyed doing it. After that I also started fingering her anus during foreplay. We sometimes reach the climax just by fingering the anus, especially during her periods when we cannot go for vaginal sex. So fingering the anus is a pleasure activity. But you should not insert too much of your finger i.e.. not deeper into anus. Understand your partner every time during this. This is a
It is a great pleasure fingering each other’s anus. My wife wasn’t interested in the initial years of our marriage. But after 4 or 5 years, she suddenly started fingering my anus, during foreplay. I enjoyed it & she enjoyed doing it. After that I also started fingering her anus during foreplay. We sometimes reach the climax just by fingering the anus, especially during her periods when we cannot go for vaginal sex. So fingering the anus is a pleasure activity. But you should not insert too much of your finger i.e.. not deeper into anus. Understand your partner every time during this. This is an Indian version of experiences.
Find out if she likes it first, or is at least open to trying it. It doesn’t have to be a direct question in the form of “can I put my finger in your ass?” Try a few things while reading her responses and body language. Start by licking it, maybe putting your tongue in a little. Try licking her clit while you’re fingering her pussy, then gently press your finger against the outside of her ass like you’re going to put it in (without inserting it yet) to see if she seems receptive, and ask her how it feels. If all is good, go for it, gently. You may want to use some lube if it doesn’t slide in e
Find out if she likes it first, or is at least open to trying it. It doesn’t have to be a direct question in the form of “can I put my finger in your ass?” Try a few things while reading her responses and body language. Start by licking it, maybe putting your tongue in a little. Try licking her clit while you’re fingering her pussy, then gently press your finger against the outside of her ass like you’re going to put it in (without inserting it yet) to see if she seems receptive, and ask her how it feels. If all is good, go for it, gently. You may want to use some lube if it doesn’t slide in easily. Lick her clit while you’re sliding it in, eventually pushing your finger in and out like you’re fucking her while you continue to lick her clit. Try different angles to see what gets the best response. If all goes well, she’s going to explode. I once gave a girl 5 orgasms in under a minute just like that. After the first one it was too intense and she was trying to squirm away. I held her down and kept going, and gave her 4 more. She passed out in my arms from exhaustion.

My boyfriend hinted he likes some as play by saying it's very sensitive there. I gently ran my fi
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