How To Face Sit

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The Fat Person's Guide to Facesitting
“I used to be scared that I was going to literally kill someone...then I realized that if a man dies while his face is being sat on, he died doing what he loved.”
Rachel Matheson. Photo courtesy of subject
It’s OK to feel anxious the first time
Communicate verbally and non-verbally about your desires
Find techniques that work for your body
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After years of exhilarating, underwhelming, and experimental fat sex, I have come to this conclusion: I love facesitting. For the uninitiated, facesitting is the act of sitting on a person’s face. To be frank, it’s one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had.
As a fat woman, I’ve experienced hang-ups about my naked body and sex. I questioned if I could even try something like facesitting. When I started having sex, I didn’t let anyone touch my belly—so the thought of wrapping my thighs around someone’s head and squatting down on them seemed like something for other people, not me. My insecurities stemmed from within. I would stare at my naked body in a mirror and ask myself: Am I too fat to try this specific sex act? Will I crush my partner?
I’m not the only fat woman to have experienced this fear. “I used to be scared that I was going to literally kill someone,” 28-year-old Toronto resident Rachel Matheson tells me. “Then I realized that if a man dies while his face is being sat on, he died doing what he loved.”
It took me a long time to get to a place where I realized my insecurities were in my head. I learned that people of all sizes can enjoy all forms of sex if you approach it right. But how to get out of your head, and enjoy facesitting for the first time?
You have to be confident to try facesitting, but confidence can also come with practice. The first time Matheson tried it, she was so worried about how she looked and smelled that she lost sight of what was happening. But now she's a convert.
Anxiety about how your genitals smell and look affects women of all sizes and ages . But don’t let that fear take away from your wants, needs, and desires. Start looking at your naked body in the mirror and appreciating it, not just during sex but each and every single day.
Sex therapist Sonalee Rashatwar , who uses they/them pronouns, tells me that couples need to have explicit conversations about what verbal and non-verbal indicators display that the experience is pleasurable for the person on the bottom. If the person on top becomes too engrossed in the act, they may block the bottom partner's air supply. Rashatwar suggests the bottom partner tap on the top partner's thighs or arms, to let the person on top know if they need a little more air.
“There should be ongoing communication," Rashatwar explains. "Not just in the form of, 'Can you breathe?' but also, 'Are you enjoying this? Is this getting you off? Am I arousing you? What can I do to make this feel better? Are there toys we could be using? How could I have made this more pleasurable for you?'”
Couples should discuss what they specifically enjoy in advance. “Not all folks enjoy oral pleasure like clitoral stimulation and not all folks enjoy anal pleasure like rimming,” Rashatwar says. Get your desires out in the open before you climb on top, to ensure the experience is pleasurable for everyone.
The author. Photo courtesy of Amanda Scriver
Facesitting can be challenging for some fat people, but Rashatwar has tips to make things easier. They suggest the bottom partner use a pillow to prop up their neck, so they have enough space to breathe and move their neck and arms throughout the act. If you have a memory foam bed at home, Rashatwar suggests moving to a firm ottoman, or the floor, as the memory foam could cause the two parties to sink into the bed and feel unstable.
A pillow under the bottom partner's neck also enables the person on top, who’s doing the facesitting, to have some support under their legs. This is great if they have knee problems. Ultimately, though, both parties should experiment until they find a facesitting position that works for them.
Being a fat girl on top can be physically tiring. Listen to your body. If your quads start to hurt, or it doesn't feel comfortable, take a break and check in with yourself. I like to grab a glass of water, or go to the bathroom for some down time.
Minerva Siegel. Photo courtesy of subject.
No matter your size or weight, facesitting is a sex act where the focus is entirely on you: you get to be the one in control of the own sensation. “Facesitting is all about putting me in control of my own sexual pleasure and using someone else's body to get it,” explains 27-year-old Minerva Siegel , a disabled writer and model from Milwaukee. Siegel doesn’t facesit all the time; it’s something she has to be in the mood for. Siegel loves that when she does do it, she gets to be in control. “I can control the ways in which my body is stimulated, which can sometimes lead to a better sexual experience.”
As a fat person, you can feel disenfranchised from sexual pleasure. Studies show that fat people are sometimes stereotyped as being lazy, incompetent, and unattractive . Fat-shaming attitudes can have a serious impact on a person's ability feel confident sexually.
I speak from experience: it was only when I discovered the fat acceptance movement, through Tumblr and the works of authors like Virgie Tovar , than I realized that fat people like myself are sexually desirable agents in our own right. Fat people deserve all the pleasure in the world. But too often, we’re fetishized, made to feel ashamed of our bodies, or people assume that we're celibate. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
"My body is lush, plush, cozy, and comfy," Siegel says. "I deserve mind-blowing orgasms just as much as anyone else and—I make sure I get them.”
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My boyfriend wants me to sit on his face, he said it turns him on. I want to try that but feel a little weird like I might sufficate him...:S I don't know..is there a way to sit on a guys face that would turn him on more than just sitting on his face? This is a weird question, did not know how to ask it...I hope it makes sense.
What does it mean when a guy says to sit on his face? Does she actually sit on it?
My boyfriend wants me to sit on his face?
Why does my boyfriend always want me to sit on his face?
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OK, while he's lying on his back. you can do one of two postions: 1. get into 69, scrutch back towards his face, your knees will stradle his head, lower yourself, but not onto his face. He will move his head up to you. This way you won't sufficate him. OK? He will put his hand on your hips and pull you down to him. So relax and enjoy. 2. turn around and stradle him. If you have a headboard, hold onto that and lower yourself. Same as above, just feels better.
Like if he wants to eat you out like that just try not to touch your privates to his face all the way. Just enough so he can do stuff with his tounge. Put on leg on each side of his head while he's laying on his back...like you're straddling his head.
You don't literally sit on his face lol jus get on all fours and put your vagina and ass all up in his face and let him do his thang! I love 69 so try it its fun and so yummy!
If you kneel astride his head and let down slowly he will let you know where he is when you start feeling him tonguing you. That's as far as you need to go unless he wants you closer. From there, he's hopefully intelligent enough to guide you...pulling you down by the hips/ass if he wants you closer for example. If you do wind up right down on his face and he's okay with it, you should probably pull up a bit periodically to let him catch his breath. Enjoy.
Just let him lay on his back then u stand over his head facing his feet then play with ur ass cheeks next lower ur ass to about 1 foot from his face and spread ur cheeks then slowly sit on his nose with ur ass still spread go ur butthole to his nose, thenlet ur cheeks go and sit all ur weight on his face , he'll move u or tap u wen he needs air dont wrry about him he'll be fine... the whole time talk dirty and play with his dick while ur sitting on him.
just sit on it. put him on his back. bend ur knees so ur feet are next to his ears or under his head. u face his legs. and have him stick out his tongue and u can move urself all over his face nose tongue whatever. . i think you will love it. AND... he can lick u in BOTH places. if ur into that . yummy
you push him down to wehere he is lying down and then bend down and put your butt on his face
Umm.. sounds like your going to make him toss your salad first... not that there's anything wrong with that!
sitting on a guys face is common sense
Oh, I agree... I like your dominant attitude, to be honest!
He's a guy, he can push you off, if you suffocate him
Kneel over him and slowly come down. Butt stuck out...
I love having my girlfriend sit on my face, so that I can demonstrate just how much I love her. I being a male know that she is my superior, I am inferior to her. She has every right to be on top with me underneath her. Yourstouse.
lay him on the bed or floor and stradle his face!
He wants to be asphyxiated by your ass

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"I imagine them watching my vagina coming towards their face ominously."
"Wanna sit on my face one time?" my girlfriend asked me the other day in bed, post-shag. It wasn't the first occasion on which the horny bitch had brought it up (she's an Aries , those guys just don't let things go). And it wasn't the first time I'd replied with a full-body shiver and a, "Nooooo, it grims me out but I don't know why."
I mean, I've done it loads of times in the past with male partners, and I enjoy being eaten out as much as the next guy. I'd also very happily have her ride my face to her little heart's content. But the thought of me being the sitter? It makes my butthole go all squiffy. Then she cracked it: "It is a very dominant position, and you're submissive". And, yeah. Looking back to the glory days when I was young and a pro sitter of faces, I was also a bit more confident and commanding during sex. Weirdly, as I've approached (and passed) 30, I've found myself becoming a lot less dominant. Hello hang ups my old friends! It turns out I am, fundamentally, just not a face sitter anymore.
In a desperate attempt to make peace with that - sex is my job, I feel like a failure, a FRAUD - I asked a sex therapist to explain the psychology of face sitting. And I got fans and haters to share their ~opinions~ on the sex act.
Let's be real, the name is pretty damn self-explanatory, but to avoid any confusion: face sitting is where one person sits on another's face. In a sexy way. We're talking genital-to-face contact here. We're talking delightfully, smotheringly intimate oral sex. In a bunch of laughably misogynist changes to porn laws in 2014, face sitting (along with squirting , yet weirdly not ejaculation from a penis?!) was banned. Fortunately, these bullshit rules were finally overturned earlier this year.
The sitter or sittee can be anyone, of any gender identity, anatomy or sexuality. It can also be known as Queening if the sitter identifies as female, or Kinging if they identify as male.
As psychosexual and relationship therapist, and sex expert at LELO Kate Moyle explains, "Face sitting is most commonly used by couples just as another position for oral-genital contact and oral sex, and for some it can create what feels like a change in the power dynamic."
While there are many, varied reasons why people enjoy being on both ends, Kate says for women and people with clitorises, it can be all about the pleasure. "For most women [and people with vulvas] clitoral stimulation provides the most intense form of pleasure and highest probability of orgasm - and this is a position which offers direct stimulation.
"For some there may be an attraction to the shift in being in control, or being more out of control. And there can be a real sense of the erotic when the focus is on pleasing one partner, for both the receiver and the giver."
"Personally, I've always been very opposed to face sitting. While I've had the request from many a men, many a time, I just don't find pleasure in it. For one, all I'm thinking about is whether I'm smothering your face with my vagina (can you breathe under there?) And it's the worst possible angle I could imagine someone staring up at me [from] . However, an ex of mine very much liked it, so I did it for him a few times. He soon realised it wasn't pleasurable for me and so we switched to the 'usual' missionary-style oral sex position."
"I always used to hate face sitting and I found it really vulgar because I associated the act with men who are complete bellends. 'Sit on my face' is such a line from creepy Tinder men, or lads on the pull in clubs, and it always seemed like a demeaning act to me. I'm also a submissive, so I tend to always be the one who's being pinned or sat on. I'm much more comfortable being dominated than I am dominating another person.
"I have to be possessing such a specific kind of confidence to deliver"
"However, I love sitting on someone's face if it's a 69 , because it feels balanced (and they're just super fun). I have had a couple of successful face sits, but I have to be possessing such a specific kind of confidence to deliver that it doesn't happen too often! Also face sitting is super weird to me because I imagine the sittee is watching my vagina coming towards their face ominously. The set-up to get in position is not glamorous and more of an elaborate sex scaffolding."
"Personally I like to be the one that's sat on. I love that idea of being able to give pleasure to someone, and because I tend to have conversations about it before it happens, I think the whole dom/sub dynamic kind of goes away. In terms of sitting, I've had people that have asked me to do it to them, but insecurity used to stop me. I mean it's hardly the best angle! But recently I've become more confident, and now it's something I enjoy doing as well. Obviously personal hygiene is important!
"Basically, I used to be terrified of anything rimming -related. I remember being 18 and fully ready to eat out my partner (I bought chocolate sauce and a Lush massage bar to 'set the mood') but when I actually got down there and saw his arsehole up close, I freaked myself out. Fast forward a few years and I love it. All it took was someone to try it on me first and show me how amazing it could feel, after that I instinctually wanted to return the favour. I've never looked back!"
"I'm a big fan of face sitting, which is part and parcel of having a deep love for giving oral pleasure to women. I can't say I've ever sat on a woman's face. I've never been with a woman who's shown any interest in rimming me. I guess for me, a woman sitting on my face gives her the same control as when she's riding cowgirl - s he can control where the pressure goes, she can grind , and easily switch between clit, lips or ass-sucking. For me it's about ensuring maximum pleasure for her rather than any kind of submissive behaviour on my part."
"I find the idea of face sitting way sexier than the actual act. I'm always too self-conscious in that position to actually come. I'm thinking about my tummy or my double chin, and just can't lose myself in the moment .
"Having a girl sit on your face, however? Delightful"
"Also, I don't think a lot of men are skilled in altering how they go down on you for that position. Somehow, it just doesn't work. Having a girl sit on your face, however? Delightful."
"The submissive feeling it gives of being in a position where your only capability is to offer pleasure is incredible. The beauty of a vagina right in front of my face , the noises from my partner as I pleasure her, and the increasing pressure she applies to my tongue using her body weight as she edges closer to climax drives me insane. When she’s feeling a little extra and she angles her body to invite me to pleasure her arse. Wow!"
"It's so uncomfortable as a disabled person with unstable hips. I've mainly tried it straddling my partner's face, and that position puts a lot of pressure on my knees , and back, and I can't relax into it. I've tried actually sitting on a past partner, but I didn't feel comfortable that I wasn't smushing them - and I felt very unbalanced."
Honestly, chatting to these legends has kind of turned me on. I've decided to take Beth's advice and try easing into it with a 69 - something I just suggested to my girlfriend who replied, "Possibly best text I've ever received. Very up for." Will report back shortly.

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