How To Dress Like A Slut
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How To Dress Like A Slut
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I Dress Like A "Slut" And Here's Why
Spoiler alert: it has nothing to do with self-respect.
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Tattoos, haircuts, and the desire for a snapshot identity
If I am going to be honest, there is nothing quite as refreshing as reading a fantastic quote.
"Almost Heaven, West Virginia..." - John Denver
The morning plays an important role in our health and happiness.
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On a few more occasions than I'd care to remember, I’ve been accused
of dressing… provocatively (although it's rarely been phrased quite so politely). Call my clothes whatever you want – slutty, whorish, skanky – doesn’t matter, I’ve heard ‘em all. My personal favorite is “prurient,”
though it’s criminally underused. Amidst all this presumptuous slur-slinging, I couldn't help but notice that I've never once been asked why I choose to dress myself this way. So today, for my own amusement, I'll answer the million dollar question no one's posed: why do I dress the way I do?
First and foremost, I like and feel comfortable in my clothes. If they were unpleasant for me to wear, I wouldn’t be wearing them – it’s as simple as that. That being said, while comfort is perhaps the foremost reason I dress like a “hoe,” it’s certainly not the only one, and arguably not even the most noteworthy. Truth be told, I use my wardrobe as a fail-safe against unwittingly surrounding myself with the wrong people - people who would only respect me if I were dressed according to whatever arbitrary standards they themselves personally deem "appropriate."
A common assertion from such individuals is that my choice of attire is indicative of a lack of respect for myself and for my body on my part, leading them to question why they should be inclined to respect me, if even I don't consider myself worthy of such esteem. As much as I hate to disappoint, this claim is erroneous. Having lived with an eating disorder for six years, I know a thing or two about what "disrespecting one’s body" looks
like, and believe me when I tell you that clothes have nothing to do with it. If you ask me, assigning moral value to fabric is more than a little archaic for 21st century America. I
don’t know about you, but I’d say that depriving oneself of vital nutrients and literally running one's body into the ground is far more self-abusive than donning a pair of Daisy Dukes could ever be. Call me crazy.
Another allegation I hear all too often is that I only dress the way I do "for attention." This isn't entirely untrue, and given that I'm a human being, I don't understand the not-so-subtly implied obligation I supposedly have to apologize for wanting people to pay attention to me. Wanting to be noticed doesn't make you any less "virtuous" than anyone else - it just makes you human. Man's craving for attention is actually an auspicious evolutionary adaptation: as infants, we would die without it, and it continues to play an important role in the formation of our identities (as well as the attraction of our mates) as we mature into adulthood, so begrudging one another the desire to be noticed is fundamentally untenable.
Therefore, while I wouldn't say that I wear what I wear for attention per se, I'm not about to sit here and pretend that I dislike all of the attention I
attract. Some of it I could do without, of course, but I recognize that I don’t
get to pick and choose who will react
to my clothes, or how they will go
about doing so. It’s not my responsibility (nor is it even within my power) to dictate how
other people are going to respond to me. If some sanctimonious soccer mom wants to tell me to pull my shorts down, I can’t stop her. If some creepy dude on the subway wants to
stare openly at my chest, I can’t guide his eyes upward through sheer force of will. The only person I can control is me.
And so, following that logic, I dress how I want, and let the chips fall where they may. My "fail-safe" isn't foolproof; sometimes I attract people (read: men) who hang around for all the wrong reasons. Here's the thing, though: even dressing like a character from Little House on the Prairie wouldn't protect me from that possibility. Case in point: the time I was accosted on an airplane by the man sitting next to me (whose behavior got so disturbing that the pilot was prepared to land the plane early, by the way), I was wearing an ugly holiday sweater and track pants. Sexy, huh?
Bottom line: I can never completely immunize myself against others' unfriendly intentions. I can, however, try to limit the number of toxic people I allow into my life. While I may think you wrong to judge me with so little information at your disposal, you are well within your rights to do so, and I wouldn't deny you that license. And hey, when all's said and done, if you’d prefer to judge me for the clothes I choose to put on my back rather
than for the content of my character... we probably wouldn’t have gotten along
very well in the first place.
140 characters. You have 140 characters to express your thoughts. How long is 140 characters? It goes by a lot quicker than you would think.
If I am going to be honest, there is nothing quite as refreshing as reading a fantastic quote. When you’re in search for a way to lift your spirits or discover some new revelation, you can never go wrong with some advice from someone you have never met. Whether you are searching for inspiration, guidance, or something just #relatable, hopefully this list of quotes will stir something inside you just as they have within myself.
First, I should probably provide a definition of what
culture shock actually is:
Everybody has those weeks where we have too much on our minds to express a solid thought. The weeks where we can barely form a word, or in this case, an article. Those weeks are the worst. In fact, they are called, Monday Week . The week where every day you wake up and fall into the foolish hands of the Monday ‘Oops’. Where falling down the stairs is the only way to get by in this situation.
Waking up and starting your day sets the tone for your day. How do you wake up? What do you do when you first wake up? Look deeper at what it is that you do in the morning, and see if it affects the rest of your day.
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Wear the right shoes. The most important thing is to pick heels a minimum of 3 inches, preferably 6. These will be the most flattering for your legs and stomach. If you really plan to wear these for stripping, look for shoes with plastic 1-piece soles and heels, as these will be most durable and forgiving. Sticking no-slip pads on the bottom is also a good idea.
Don’t overstep yourself. If you’re not comfortable walking in heels, work your way up to them, rather than going straight to 6-inch heels.
Use a blow drier to mold plastic shoes to the shape of your feet. Soften the plastic with the warm air, and slip the shoe on when it is pliable but not hot. Use your hands to gently mold it to your foot, and let it cool.
Look for the most comfortable heels you can find. Heels are by nature not the most comfortable shoes in the world, but your feet will thank you if you keep comfort in mind as you shop.
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Wear the right underwear. Many strippers purchase dancing bottoms designed specifically for that purpose, instead of normal underwear or bikini bottoms. If you are just dressing up for fun or fashion, though, a thong will work just fine.
Neon colors and lace are always good choices.
Not many real strippers wear G-strings, because many state laws require a certain amount of skin to be covered. Of course, no one is going to call you on that if you’re just dressing up for fun.
Erotic dancewear, which is more durable and flexible than underwear or bathing suit bottoms, can be purchased from websites like Spurst, BodyKandi, or Yandy.
Incorporate your personal taste—wear what makes you feel sexy!
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Wear the right clothes. There are lots of ways you can go with this, and as always, the most important part is to pick something that makes you feel hot. There are a number of other factors to consider, however.
Fit: The biggest priority is to pick something flattering. Tight-fitting things are great, as are low-cut tops, and short bottoms.
Color: Neon colors are always popular, and black or red can be very dramatic. You should of course take into consideration which colors look best with your skin tone and hair color. If you really plan on stripping in a club, avoid white. Most strip clubs have black lights, and white clothing can be problematic.
Fabric: Distressed denim is a classic, whether you’re wearing Daisy Dukes or a denim miniskirt. Jersey, lycra, or other fabrics that allow you to move without restriction will make dancing easier. You might also consider wearing something see-through.
Style: Dresses are the most natural choice, as they are easiest to remove quickly. You might also consider wearing a low-cut shirt with a miniskirt, leggings and a crop top, shorts and a bikini top, or a leotard with a garter belt and garters, if you’re looking for a more burlesque look. [1]
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Wear the right accessories. Many genuine strippers don’t wear much in the way of jewelry, as it tends to get in the way or create a distraction. There are some options to consider, however.
Piercings can be fun, as long as they don’t get in the way. Consider getting one in your navel or nose. Studs or very small hoops will be the least likely to get caught on things.
Glitter adds sparkle to you look without adding clunky jewelry. [2]
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Hair extensions will let you flip your hair around in a sexy way. [3]
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A garter belt can give you that old-school pinup girl look.
A collar or leather choker could be a good choice if you are going for a kinky, bondage vibe.
Fishnet stockings are a sexy classic.
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Wear the right makeup. Of course, there is no one way strippers make themselves up, and the most important thing is to find a style that makes you feel sexy. There are thousands of makeup tutorial videos available to watch online if you want to improve your makeup game. [5]
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If you’re already a makeup pro, there are some simple ideas to consider. [6]
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Dark, smoky eyeshadow
Cat eyes
Thick mascara, or fake eyelashes [7]
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Thin, highly arched, penciled eyebrows
Glossy lips
Liberal layers of foundation and concealer to hide any flaws in your skin (consider applying these to your body as well as your face—one thing that sets strippers’ beauty routine apart from that of other women is the extent to which they apply makeup to their bodies)
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Wear briefs. Boxers are not form-fitting enough, and for whatever reason, many people are not particularly attracted to men in thongs. [8]
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Buy contoured, well-fitting briefs that accentuate your body.
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Wear short, tight clothes. There are fewer clothing options out there for men, and this tends to be a less important part of male strippers’ lives. [9]
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The most important thing to remember is to show a lot of skin, and to wear clothes tight enough to show off the muscles underneath. [10]
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Invest in some tear-off clothes. This is one of the defining qualities of the clothes worn by male strippers. While you can buy pre-made tear-off clothes, any clothes can be turned into tear-off clothes. Purchase clothing 3 or 4 sizes too big, and install Velcro along the outer seams. If you are crafty you can do this yourself, but if not a tailor will easily be able to help. [11]
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Think twice about body hair. Some strippers cultivate a persona for which facial or body hair is appropriate, but as a general rule most strippers are pretty hairless. Consider keeping your face shaved clean and getting your chest waxed.
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Consider makeup. Not all male strippers use makeup, but if you are performing in a club you may find the stage lights wash out the definition in your facial features. If so, one way to increase your tips might be to start applying a little stage makeup. If done right, this should enhance your features, rather than making it immediately apparent that you are wearing makeup.
If you do have facial hair, use an eyebrow pencil to give it definition.
Apply a neutral foundation under your cheekbones to exaggerate their shape.
Line your lips with a neutral foundation. You may also want to apply some lip balm to keep them from drying out.
Brown eyeliner can make your eyelashes appear thicker. Stop before you get to the corners of your eyes—if the lines meet, the effect will be too obvious.
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