How To Do Cowgirl Position

How To Do Cowgirl Position

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Don't get me wrong, cowgirl position works for a lot of women. I get it. When I asked a few friends for their opinion, the feedback was mixed. Some say it's their favorite position of all time (opens in new tab) . Others would rather clean the skid marks out of their partner's underwear.
One friend candidly told me that she'd, "Sooner nix sex forever than be forced to go through an entire sex session on top (opens in new tab) ." A little morbid, but point taken.
I'm with her on this one. I cannot stress enough how much I loathe cowgirl (opens in new tab) . Unless I lie forward and grind, I'm not into it. It's legitimately a full cardio workout. I'm more exhausted after being on top than after an hour with my peppy spin instructor, Denise. There are moments during cowgirl when I wonder if I will have a heart attack. My epitaph will read, "She died while riding that D, as her friends and loved ones would have hoped."
Seriously, expecting me to come in this position is like expecting me to be okay with handing over my bank account à la The Handmaid's Tale (opens in new tab) . It isn't going to happen.
As a sex educator, sexual pioneer (if I do say so myself), and bonafide pillow princess (opens in new tab) , I have spent years perfecting the art of a lazy, clitorially satisfying cowgirl position—as well as some brilliantly coy ways to avoid it altogether.
Here is the lowdown on what to do if cowgirl just isn't working for you.
I refer to this position as "The Pillow Prayer." Cowgirl often entails bouncing up and down at a rapid and uncomfortable speed. I find myself so distressed by the treacherous toll gravity is taking on my poor bosom, while simultaneously trying not to vomit, that I can't enjoy myself in the least.
Sure, you can slow it down and grind your clitoris against your partner's penis/dildo and pelvis, but it's only a matter of time before he or she is going to want you to bounce again. I get it, it's more pleasurable for the other person and they deserve to feel good.
So, to add some extra lift, take two pillows and stick them under each knee. This is most successful with couch pillows, as they are less squishy than your sleeping pillows. Your partner still gets the full range of motion, but you don't have to bounce as high. Trust me, it makes a big difference to the thigh burn.
Use your words to guide your partner into an alternate position. Your partner probably won't get turned on by you saying something like, "I'd rather sink with the Titanic," when they inquire about cowgirl.
Instead, use your sexiest voice (opens in new tab) to suggest something else, something you'd really enjoy. Try, "I'd much rather let you take me from behind, babe. You're so sexy when you dominate me." Be creative.
Avoid taking the fire out of the moment (opens in new tab) and simply shift the moment to something else.
Truth be told, it's kind of hard to avoid cowgirl forever. You might be kind of lazy, but you don't want your partner to *think* you're lazy.
Lotus is a great alternative to cowgirl because you're still on top, being a little sexy minx, but you're not on the brink of death the entire time. To pull off lotus, have your partner sit up on the bed and straddle him or her so you're sitting face to face.
You can rock back and forth for optimal clitoral stimulation, all while being in control. Since you're able to passionately make out while you're doing it, it adds an extra layer of intimacy that is very sensual.
We've established that thigh burn is a B, so take some of that strain off by utilizing your upper body. While bouncing with your lower half, lean forward and place your forearms on either side of your partner's head.
He or she gets a wondrous face full of tits and you get a reprieve from teetering on the brink of death. Truth be told, this one gets exhausting after a few minutes as well, but it will allow you stay in cowgirl for a few minutes longer than usual.
Two out of three women require clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm (opens in new tab) . When you're wildly bouncing up and down, your clit often gets neglected. Plus, all that aforementioned thigh burning can take you out of the moment.
Bring a couples vibrator into the bedroom and have your partner use it on you. He or she will be distracted by giving you pleasure, which gets you off the hook from bouncing. Plus, you *will* come on top.
It is very sexy to see your partner so turned on. For easy partner-play fun, try the Fin from Dame (opens in new tab) . It's easy to use, stays in place, and id all around non-threatening.
If you get down on your forearms and start to near your tap out point, curve your belly under, like the "cat" yoga position. This will give your partner room to top you from the bottom.
You get to stay stationary in an isometric hold, while your partner sets the pace. He or she is in control, even though you have given the impression that you're in control. Make it extra hot by telling your partner how sexy it is when he or she tops you from the bottom.
Go forth and get some. You've got this.
Follow Marie Claire on F (opens in new tab) acebook (opens in new tab) for the latest celeb news, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more.
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.

The devil works hard, but Taylor Swift works harder.

She joked about the sheer amount of fabric on her gown.

Who said game nights need to be wholesome?

Good sex should always go smoothly.

For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.

Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.

These actors aren't faking anything.

"It makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth."

Marie Claire is part of Future plc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site .
© Future Publishing Limited Quay House, The Ambury, Bath BA1 1UA. All rights reserved. England and Wales company registration number 2008885.

(opens in new tab)

(opens in new tab)

(opens in new tab)

Contact me with news and offers from other Future brands

Receive email from us on behalf of our trusted partners or sponsors

(Image credit: Design by Monica Park)
(Image credit: Design by Monica Park)

(opens in new tab)

(opens in new tab)

More stories to check out before you go
Marie Claire is supported by its audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s why you can trust us .
Ideal for lazy girls and pillow princesses.
Celebrity news, beauty, fashion advice, and fascinating features, delivered straight to your inbox!
Thank you for signing up to . You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.
Don't get me wrong, cowgirl position works for a lot of women. I get it. When I asked a few friends for their opinion, the feedback was mixed. Some say it's their favorite position of all time (opens in new tab) . Others would rather clean the skid marks out of their partner's underwear.
One friend candidly told me that she'd, "Sooner nix sex forever than be forced to go through an entire sex session on top (opens in new tab) ." A little morbid, but point taken.
I'm with her on this one. I cannot stress enough how much I loathe cowgirl (opens in new tab) . Unless I lie forward and grind, I'm not into it. It's legitimately a full cardio workout. I'm more exhausted after being on top than after an hour with my peppy spin instructor, Denise. There are moments during cowgirl when I wonder if I will have a heart attack. My epitaph will read, "She died while riding that D, as her friends and loved ones would have hoped."
Seriously, expecting me to come in this position is like expecting me to be okay with handing over my bank account à la The Handmaid's Tale (opens in new tab) . It isn't going to happen.
As a sex educator, sexual pioneer (if I do say so myself), and bonafide pillow princess (opens in new tab) , I have spent years perfecting the art of a lazy, clitorially satisfying cowgirl position—as well as some brilliantly coy ways to avoid it altogether.
Here is the lowdown on what to do if cowgirl just isn't working for you.
I refer to this position as "The Pillow Prayer." Cowgirl often entails bouncing up and down at a rapid and uncomfortable speed. I find myself so distressed by the treacherous toll gravity is taking on my poor bosom, while simultaneously trying not to vomit, that I can't enjoy myself in the least.
Sure, you can slow it down and grind your clitoris against your partner's penis/dildo and pelvis, but it's only a matter of time before he or she is going to want you to bounce again. I get it, it's more pleasurable for the other person and they deserve to feel good.
So, to add some extra lift, take two pillows and stick them under each knee. This is most successful with couch pillows, as they are less squishy than your sleeping pillows. Your partner still gets the full range of motion, but you don't have to bounce as high. Trust me, it makes a big difference to the thigh burn.
Use your words to guide your partner into an alternate position. Your partner probably won't get turned on by you saying something like, "I'd rather sink with the Titanic," when they inquire about cowgirl.
Instead, use your sexiest voice (opens in new tab) to suggest something else, something you'd really enjoy. Try, "I'd much rather let you take me from behind, babe. You're so sexy when you dominate me." Be creative.
Avoid taking the fire out of the moment (opens in new tab) and simply shift the moment to something else.
Truth be told, it's kind of hard to avoid cowgirl forever. You might be kind of lazy, but you don't want your partner to *think* you're lazy.
Lotus is a great alternative to cowgirl because you're still on top, being a little sexy minx, but you're not on the brink of death the entire time. To pull off lotus, have your partner sit up on the bed and straddle him or her so you're sitting face to face.
You can rock back and forth for optimal clitoral stimulation, all while being in control. Since you're able to passionately make out while you're doing it, it adds an extra layer of intimacy that is very sensual.
We've established that thigh burn is a B, so take some of that strain off by utilizing your upper body. While bouncing with your lower half, lean forward and place your forearms on either side of your partner's head.
He or she gets a wondrous face full of tits and you get a reprieve from teetering on the brink of death. Truth be told, this one gets exhausting after a few minutes as well, but it will allow you stay in cowgirl for a few minutes longer than usual.
Two out of three women require clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm (opens in new tab) . When you're wildly bouncing up and down, your clit often gets neglected. Plus, all that aforementioned thigh burning can take you out of the moment.
Bring a couples vibrator into the bedroom and have your partner use it on you. He or she will be distracted by giving you pleasure, which gets you off the hook from bouncing. Plus, you *will* come on top.
It is very sexy to see your partner so turned on. For easy partner-play fun, try the Fin from Dame (opens in new tab) . It's easy to use, stays in place, and id all around non-threatening.
If you get down on your forearms and start to near your tap out point, curve your belly under, like the "cat" yoga position. This will give your partner room to top you from the bottom.
You get to stay stationary in an isometric hold, while your partner sets the pace. He or she is in control, even though you have given the impression that you're in control. Make it extra hot by telling your partner how sexy it is when he or she tops you from the bottom.
Go forth and get some. You've got this.
Follow Marie Claire on F (opens in new tab) acebook (opens in new tab) for the latest celeb news, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more.
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.

The devil works hard, but Taylor Swift works harder.

She joked about the sheer amount of fabric on her gown.

Who said game nights need to be wholesome?

Good sex should always go smoothly.

For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.

Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.

These actors aren't faking anything.

"It makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth."

Marie Claire is part of Future plc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site .
© Future Publishing Limited Quay House, The Ambury, Bath BA1 1UA. All rights reserved. England and Wales company registration number 2008885.

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Instead of you doing all the moving around, have your partner do some too. Ask them to meet you halfway and thrust from below, says certified sex educator Alicia Sinclair , founder and CEO of The Cowgirl Premium Sex Machine. It changes the whole dynamic, plus gives you a little break. And if they want to do all the thrusting, hi, yes, that’s cool too.
Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.

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Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.

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Getting on top during sex when you’re the receiving partner—aka cowgirl position—can be a little daunting if you’ve never done it before. And to be fair, it does come with a whole new set of questions: What do you do with your hands? What do you do when your legs get tired ? Do you have to dress up like a cowboy, or are costumes optional? (Lol, kidding, kind of.)
But the truth is, the cowgirl sex position is popular because it’s good , and most of the time (read: when you get out of your head!) it’s v easy to pull off. “The beauty of the position is that you're the one in control,” says certified sex and relationships coach and clinical sexologist Elaine S. Turner . When you hop on top, you get to be in complete control of the speed, depth, angle, and motion of what’s going on, and all that can be super helpful if your goal is to have an orgasm .
Now, before you embark on your Big Mission To Own The Cowgirl Position, there are a few important tips and tricks to know. (And even if you consider yourself an expert rider, you can always learn a new thing or two!) In no particular order, here’s what to keep in mind.
Yes, hi, remember how I said “no particular order”? I was lying. This tip is number one for a reason. If cowgirl isn’t making you feel freaking fantastic, you might be among the majority of vagina owners who do not orgasm with penetration alone . Yes, I said majority —it’s super normal! So make sure your clit is getting the attention it needs and don’t be afraid to give yourself a hand.
“Angle your hips for your clit to rub against your partner or play with your clit while riding,” suggests erotic rom com writer Liv Arnold . You can also delegate clit duties: “Lean back a bit and have your partner play with your clit using their fingers or your favorite bullet vibrator or wand massager ,” says resident certified sex therapist at SexualAlpha , Aliyah Moore , PhD.
If you’re riding a strap-on , you can ignore this one, but if you partner has a penis, this is crucial. “Cowgirl is one of the positions most likely to lead to a broken penis ,” says Turner. “If you're going up and down on them too fast, they can slip out, leading to a rough landing. Avoid the awkward hospital visit and take your time.” Yes ma’am!
Even if you’re on another form of birth control , bust out a condom to help prevent STIs , recommends Jasmine Akins , a sexual health educator at CAN Community Health . (Psst, here’s a secret tip for the condom-adverse .)
Now, ready to saddle up? Take some of these cowgirl sex positions out for a spin.
If you want an easy and comfortable ride, try leaning forward slightly, suggests sex expert Mayla Green , co-founder of TheAdultToyShop.com . Not only will you get the stimulation your clit craves, but you can rest some of your body weight on your hands.
Instead of bouncing up and down (see above: penis breaking), do a slow grind against your partner. Apply some CBD-based lube and grind against their pubic bone. Spread your legs extra wide to get more friction across your entire vulva.
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Switch up the depth of penetration and speed to maximize the stimulation you’ll both be getting. If you need a template, try four quicker, shallower thrusts, then on the fifth thrust, sink slowly all the way onto your partner. That deep fifth thrust will feel so amazing to both of you.
Feeling shy up there? “The best way to overcome it is with practice and showing off,” says Turner. “Grab your favorite bullet or
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